Oh man! I don't think I could get into something like that and still partition my life so that I could do anything else without those kids always being before my eyes.

You know, FGG, there's a proverb - probably badly translated - since only in the the KJV does it read anything like this .. but

"Where there is no vision, the people perish"

If these mothers and families could see - could have a vision of a different life - a life which is not only possible, but is right there in front of them if they want it... then I think everything would be different. But, they really don't believe that anything different is possible for them. They don't have a vision. Or do they? What do you think, FGG?

-AD

Lady Cluefull,

You do nice work!

I'm hoping to get more into that kind of stuff when I'm a bit more settled. I need a shop - and don't have any $$$ to build one right now.

-AD

Oh, G.G. the story about those girls just breaks my heart! I can't imagine how I would feel if I was actually THERE!

On one hand, I can understand that their mother was so abused and brow-beaten that she couldn't stand up to her sorry excuse for a H. On the other, I believe that he would just have to kill me...if I didn't kill him first! Our son once told me that he couldn't understand how I could take so much carp for myself, yet turn into a raging tiger when it comes to anyone harming him or his sister. He said that I need to let that tiger loose to protect myself once in awhile. Well, I do that more than I used to. It is hard for me to defend myself, but I admit that I tend to go ballistic when it comes to my kids. But, to let some man...any man...molest my child and do nothing...NO WAY!

Thank you for the compliment. I figure that headboard cost me maybe 60 bucks, which is a lot better than a couple of hundred to have it made! It's made out of MDF, polyester fiberfill (quilt batting), a sheet, and a dustruffle.

AD, thanks! I'm rather anal about doing things; my daddy was the same way. Believe me, if it had not come out like I wanted, it would not be in my guest room!

I don't have a shop at home to do stuff like that either. I cut the MDF out on the tailgate of my truck out in the driveway. Everything was put together on the floor of our family room.

I'm just really proud of how that room turned out. H thought I was crazy when I told him how I was going to do the walls (frottage technique), but when it was done, he liked it so well that I painted his office walls at work the same way with the leftover paint.

Now, if I just had the time to do the rest of the house! Got lots of ideas...just no time!

AD -

In response to your question, keep in mind that I am a true novice here. But, in the training the absence of any kind of a vision for a better life is what can lead to "generational poverty". I suspect that many of these folks are just continuing the cycle that they've grown up in.

I can't imagine being the judge and having to hear this every day. I was in his courtroom less than 1 hour. He told us that he had juvenile criminal cases after we left that would last until 3:30 this afternoon. I don't see how he sleeps at night.

I was amazed at the amount of drug discussion I heard in that brief time. I am equally amazed at the amount of "credence" given to these CASA volunteers. To just give the judge a short report about what you think is in the best interest of the child and have him so heavily rely on that to steer the course of another human life is to me very intimidating. As I pointed out, this was 5 cases in less than 1 hour.

And, AD, what an appropriate Proverb.."Where there is no vision, the people perish". I can tell you that I didn't see a lot of vision in the people that I saw in that courtroom

I think the saddest sight was that lady with the 2 daughters. She reminded me of the AIDS infected women of Africa that you see in the press. She was so beaten down, forlorn, scared...and all alone. I know it is so tempting to condemn her for allowing her own D's to be molested for years, but she just looked so scared.

I'm taking the afternoon off, folks. I've got 25 days to use by the end of the year, and the year's 1/2 over.

You all have a nice weeknend. Pray for not only me, but these folks that I'm coming into contact with.

I care about you all deeply.

Georgia

Yes, the gravity of the CASA report can be unnerving, but think of what would happen if there were no CASA...the judge would have to rely on the limited testimony in the courtroom. You are the eyes, ears, investigator, and level head for the judge...he/she will of course weigh all information, but having a volunteer with NO vested interest in the outcome (except looking out for the well-being of the child) is a great service to the court.

Yes, you will see and hear things you will have never imagined goes on in our world. You will visit places and homes that will be TOTALLY removed from your life and lifestyle. People are doing the best they can. Some try harder than others. It's not for us to turn up our nose or judge...but determine if it is livable for the child...

This will give you MUCH more to pray about!

Good Morning to all -

SHMI - Thanks for your comments and insight regarding CASA. I have considered myself fairly "aware" of what goes on in the world (and our community), but I suspect there will be much worse circumstances than I have imagined. I know that when #2S became a youth pastor and saw the way many "normal" church-going families relate to each other, he thanked me and WW for the home life we provided him. He said he didn't realize there were so many dysfunctional families. If he were to see some of this CASA stuff, he would really be shocked.

Speaking of #2S...he and DIL are in town all week for some sort of Bible conference. He hadn't told me about that, #1S told me last night. I asked #1S where #2S/DIL were staying and he said they are staying with Mom. I was, to say the least, quite surprised at that. I don't know how that's going to work out. But...I'm a little concerned in that it has been obvious that the last several weeks I've had very little communication with #2S. I hope I'm not seeing the beginning of a family "split", but I do hope I'm seeing the R between #2S/DIL being mended. I am really concerned that I am losing the relationship with #2S.

Now for the big news of the weekend. I was in the shower Sunday morning and I heard Jeb really having a fit. When I got out, I saw that he was barking at an ambulance next door at Mrs. Reese's house. I went over and she had fallen while getting dressed for church.

I went on to SS, but left before church to visit her in the ER. They had determined that her hip was broken. Her D arrived while I was there, so I left to let them be together. Her D called last night to tell me that she had hip replacement last evening and she seemed to be doing well.

I'm going to get some flowers and go up and see her a few minutes this afternoon. I'm afraid that this will end her ability to live in her home. Just last week she had a lady (and her 10 y.o. D) move in to help take care of her. That is a good thing, otherwise no one would have been there when she fell.

Mrs. Reese told me recently that her D had been talking to her about moving into an assisted living home, but she couldn't bear the thought of leaving the home that her and her H of 71 years had shared together. And...she didn't want someone living with her, but that was a better option than moving into an assisted living home.

So, pray for Mrs. Reese. I'm sure at 92 that hip replacement and the subsequent PT is no small thing. I also understand that blood clotting is a major risk.

On the closet issue, I got the shelves in there on Saturday and it looks very nice. I'll try to post some pictures of it later.

I'm thinking of laying out my plans for the pond and getting my list of materials together. If it's something I can afford right now, I may take a week or two off and work on the pond project.

GOOD MORNING MIMI....

Georgia

Hey Georgia:

Sorry I haven't taken time out to speak to you today on your "blog".

Hmmm... wonder what going on with your #2S? He probably calls himself doing intervention with his Mom. Like I told you, it was difficult even for me as a 30 year old (or so) to experience my parents separation/divorce after being married for 25 yrs. I never gave up my fantasy of their reunion until my F's death....

I'm sorry so sorry to hear about Mrs. Reese. It's so kind of you to care about her. It know it means a lot! Professionally, I work daily with the elderly. Also, I've shared with you how I took care of my grandparents who died when they were in their 90s. I know how special these folks are.....

In case I get busy and forget to tell you, H and I will be gone Wednesday through Sunday. He has begun his "attack" on the Japanese Beetles, saying "This is my house. You can't live here". I think they are driving him nutty. He went out last night with the Sevin spray gun and was out there again this morning. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Yes! As of today, our major family crisis involves the JAPANESE BEETLES.

Sad note about my mother. She called to tell me that she has cancer, not remembering that she had already informed me, not remembering that I went to visit her. That is scary for me but "I CAN HANDLE IT".....

Later.....

Hi Mimi...

It is very informative that the invasion of the Beetles has captured H's interest. That is very, very good. I know you'll praise him when he defeats the pesky enemy (V.J.B. Day!!!) and has beaufitul flowers for YOU, free of parasites.

Mimi...I am really concerned about #2S/DIL. I don't want to lose my relationship with my kids over this. Up until now, #2S has indicated he didn't want anything to do with her. I've noticed the lack of communication the last few weeks, but I attributed that to all the turmoil at his church. I think I may have to take some of my own advice and just talk with him to see what's going on as far as his thoughts about his relationship with me.

Since you are geriatric knowlegeable....do you think it likely that Mrs. Reese will be able to recover from this at her age (92)? She seems fairly healthy, but I'm not sure she has a real iron-clad will to live. I think EVERY conversation that I've had with her ended up with her talking about her H of 71 years and her crying. She really misses him so much and is so lonely.

Anyway, I'm not sure she will ever be able to move back into her home.

I am sorry to hear about your mom. Does she normally suffer from some mental impairment? I don't recall you saying that before.

I hope you and H have a great time together on your trip. Is this work or pleasure, or a mixture?

Georgia

EDITED TO ADD:

"has beaufitul flowers for YOU, free of parasites."

Just to clarify, the comment about being free of parasites refers to the flowers, not to MIMI.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Ok, Georgia. I won't forget PRAISE for the ATTACK on the BEETLES. He really is so HILARIOUS about it!!

He is going with me to a conference again but there will be lots of time for FUN!!

You said:



YEP! A taste of your own medicine....

Physically, I think Mrs. Reese can recover with rehab. The question is does she want to? There's that strong mind-body connection. When did her H pass away? She'll miss him even more now because he used to be there to comfort her when she was hurting.. Encourage her with your Christian faith, Georgia. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on thine own understanding...."; "The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want....", etc.

Her H passed away 4 years ago. She has 3 very grown kids, one of which (YS) I see at her house frequently (2 - 3X week). The OS I have NEVER seen there (even though he may come and I just don't know it), and her D I see there maybe 1X week. All live locally, BTW....

Incidentally, we have discovered that her OS is the pastor of the church where #1DIL's GM attends church.

Back to the point....I think her mental state (as far as will to live) is poor. She is a Christian, we have discussed that. Yesterday I asked her if she wanted me to pray with her at the hospital and she said yes.

When I went over there yesterday (at her house) she grabbed onto my hand and arm and didn't want to let go when they loaded her into the ambulance.

Georgia

Good Morning to all -

I left work yesterday afternoon and went to visit Mrs. Reese. I was surprised to find her in her room, sitting up and chatting away with Lisa, the former resident of my house. Lisa is employed at the same hopsital.

She looked like she felt very good. She told me that she was to be transferred to a local rehab hospital for her PT. However, she was a bit confused - possibly from her medication.

Lisa told her that she and her H were coming to my house for dinner last night. I could tell from the look on Mrs. R's face that she was really confused. She eventually said "Lisa, you know I believe in marriage". Then she said, well "You're so good looking I don't see how any man wouldn't be interested in you". By this time, I was getting confused....Then she said..."Well, I know that you and Georgia will be happy. How long have you and H been separated?".

I think that before we left, we may have gotten the message across that Lisa and her H were BOTH coming to dinner, and it wasn't a "date" between me and Lisa.

We all had a great time at dinner. Their 20 y.o. daughter came also, and we just had a great time talking about not only the house, but life in general. They've had their share of struggles over the years, but they're a cohesive Christian family that has weathered the storms of life. I was encouraged to hear some of their stories. Their daughter was a very nice young lady, that was the first time I had met her.

This may seem insignificant. WW, even when a W, never liked entertaining at our home. I can easily number the times we've had guests in our 28 years together. She knew that I would like to have friends come over, but she didn't like that at all. I knew she was this way, so I just accepted it and it was of those "compromises" that H & W's make to accomodate each other.

So now, when I can invite folks over like this (and the cop and his wife), it is something that I enjoy immensely. It seems like a great way to just cement friendships, and I like that a lot.

Okay, I've got to get to work.

Georgia

Hi Georgia:

Makes sense that being "like a" single guy you can be totally true to yourself now. In a R, there's a need for compromise, POJA, as the Harleys would say....

Almost all folks Ms. R's age have a bit of dementia which worsens once they are out of their own environment. Plus, the painkillers have that side effect of causing of confusion. The good news is that she was able to recognize the two of you!

H bought a different type of bug sprayer last night so he could reach even farther up... I've been giving him due praise for his "ATTACK" as he terms it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Georgia, you are doing such great stuff.....

I'm eagerly anticipating our trip...

HAVE FUN NO MATTER WHAT!! I sure plan to do just that...

Hey Mimi, have an idea for the invasion.
Have you tried Diatomaceous Earth? It is a natural pesticide. It is the skeletons of fossilized diatoms that supposedly gets under the skin of waxy coated critters and kills them.

I hate pesticides, and I'm afraid your H's attacks may make your lawn a dangerous place after awhile...and the chemicals are indiscriminate about what it kills, beneficial bugs too...(honey bees, lacewings, ladybugs, etc...)

The problem with these japanese beetles is there are no real predators to eat them...

We don't use chemicals, but we live with bugs...spiders are our number one citizens, which is good for us, bad for bugs, and bad if you are scared of spiders. We live in the woods and will have no less than 3 daddy-long-leg spiders in the bathtub at any given time.

Still:

Where do we find the Earth stuff? Lowe's, Home Depot?

Well....things just keep getting weirder and weirder around here.

I just got a call from the owner of the contract firm who provides my administrative assistant. My asst is a young man in his late 20's who has a Assoc ME degree and can help with engr from time to time.

Anyway, seems he has had some form of cancer in the past (I was unaware) but has been in remission. He apparently had some kind of symptoms yesterday afternoon and his wife took him to the ER. Seems his cancer has returned and is apparently serious. There is talk of transferring him to some specialty hospital elsewhere today.

His room # is 1045, Mrs. Reese is in 1040.

Georgia

So are we in the TWILIGHT ZONE?

Sometimes it makes me wonder......

Georgia,

I'm shocked and sad to hear about your assistant. For a young man to be in his situation must be terrifying. I hope and pray for his recovery.

-AD

Mi,

Found Diatomaceous Earth under the Lowes website under the Safer brand. It claims it's for ants and crawling insects, but also read that you can suspend it in water and spray it...beetles have to land somewhere sometime... Would be good to add to the arsenal...one more thing...

Still:

Thanks for the tip on the Earth stuff! I will look for it.

Good Morning to all -

I can't believe that I left here in such a hurry yesterday that I didn't say goodbye to Mimi...I know that she is looking forward to some time with H and will enjoy her trip. She deserves it...

My CASA training is getting more and more intense. We are having guest speakers each night and last night we had a DFCS supervisor. I was very impressed with her professional and calm demeanor. She has interviewed over 300 kids so far this year. That is amazing. We also had the director of a local child advocate center who is preparing for a 6 month stay in Africa working with kids there. She said she has interviewed almost 3,000 kids in the last 7 years. She talked quite a bit about sexual abuse and what actions help kids get through this with the least amount of permanent emotional damage and being the least likely to become molesters themselves in adulthood.

I'm seeing that there is a whole culture of problems out there that I never even knew existing. This isn't just a few isolated cases, this problem of child abuse is pervasive.

I am excited about getting my first case in a few weeks.

Georgia