Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 31 of 116 1 2 29 30 31 32 33 115 116
mimi_here #1345094 07/06/05 06:01 AM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
Good Morning to all (AND MIMI) -

I hope this morning finds you better, Mimi, and you were able to resolve things with H last night. Sounds like your trip together over the weekend was wonderful. I so enjoyed those meetings that I got to go to and take WW with me. I think Albuquerque was the best, but VA, Miami, LA all were very nice. As you may remember, my Tucson trip got canned by work related issues, and my next scheduled one is in D.C.

CASA training was short last night, so afterwards I called #1S/DIL and asked if they would like to meet at a local sandwich shop. We talked for about 2 hours, it was wonderful to be with them again. I've been missing family so much lately.

They gave the report on their visit to their GP's house (my IL's) this past weekend. DIL did most of the talking, but she said they were asking about my house, how I was doing, etc. They were again apologizing for WW's actions, said they never thought she would have done such a thing. Apparently MIL and WW had words over the phone on Mother's Day and WW hung up on her Mom. I don't think they've talked since then. I know this is terribly hard on both of them, they're getting up in years and having other health related issues. DIL said that MIL hasn't told any of her other family members what is going on because she's embarrassed to tell them.

I think that about a week or so before the final court date, I'll go over and visit them. It seems so strange that after all these years, they're not going to be my IL's much longer. I hope that I can continue a relationship with them even afterwards, they've been good friends as well as IL's.

After I got back last night, Jeb and I went over to Mrs. Reeses's house for a while and read a little (Jeb didn't read, he just napped). Attached is a copy of the title page from the Bible I mentioned:

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/mb_georgiaguy/detail?.dir=/99a9&.dnm=7dd2.jpg

In case you can't read it, it says:

"This was the Bible read so much in his later years. I have such a picture in my mind of him sitting in his red chair. God bless him. I loved him so much."

Isn't that touching? They were married 71 years, and now she's alone in a nursing home. It is so sad. When I was there visiting her Sunday, she held my hand the whole time I was there. She told me several times that she is so scared. She asked me if I thought she would be alright.

Her D called me last night and we talked a bit. They are hoping that with PT she will be able to come back home and they will have someone stay with her at home. I think that would definitely be the best thing for her.

Okay, I think that is about it for now. The house is still hot, the a/c guy was supposed to call me last evening and I didn't hear from him. I am concerned about that. If he doesn't call today, I may choose someone else to get out and get the work done.

Georgia

Last edited by Formerly G.G.; 07/06/05 06:26 AM.

Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Formerly G.G. #1345095 07/06/05 06:18 AM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,083
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,083
Georgia - you may want to talk with someone who invests in residential properties. The A/C price seems extraordinarily high.

I had a furnace AND air conditioner installed in my house for $3000. When I was going through real estate investment training, I found resources that would get me air conditioners for under $2K that would cool a decent sized home.

So do a little checking - don't want to see anyone else take advantage of your gentle and good nature.


Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1

The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"?

The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!"

If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
KaylaAndy #1345096 07/06/05 06:50 AM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
Hi KA -

The unit I'm getting is a gaspack. It is both the heating and cooling all in one big unit. I've gotten 2 estimates, the first was for $3,000 and an "off-brand" unit. The second was $2,700 for a Rheem. I've elected to go with the second guy, but he needs to show up QUICKLY or I may have to look elsewhere.

Jeb is getting tired of panting all the time!!

Georgia


Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Formerly G.G. #1345097 07/06/05 07:00 AM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,083
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,083
I can't imagine living in Georgia without A/C. I have a hard time remembering how I got through 17 years in my home without it - 10 of those without adequate attic ventilation.

They joke that at least in Utah, it's "dry heat". Except for two weeks the end of July when the humidity makes the air a little heavier - something you experience in early summer, before it gets seriously hot...

My condolences to Jeb!


Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1

The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"?

The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!"

If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
Good Morning, Georgia:

I feel so embarassed about yesterday. I should have used my better judgement and not even posted. I was into such a "pity party". After doing my workout in the evening, I realized that I have so much to be thankful for.... I need to focus on the positive.

It's about my FEAR OF ANGER. At least, I'm not going to extremes, exploding or avoiding in response to conflict. Plus, my H is expressing his feelings to me rather than running off to play with that HO.

He was sweet with me last night. I will talk to him further about it a little later. It's a longstanding issue of him being jealous of the BABY BOY. As I may have mentioned before, this son has always been demanding and needy and remains so. Plus, he can be manipulative in his ways of getting attention from me. SO THERE....

About Mrs. Reese, you said:

Quote
They were married 71 years, and now she's alone in a nursing home. It is so sad. When I was there visiting her Sunday, she held my hand the whole time I was there. She told me several times that she is so scared. She asked me if I thought she would be alright.


Georgia, I don't see this as being sad. It is wonderful! Try to help her to focus on the positive-what a beautiful testimony this is to the value and sanctity of marriage; how inspirational she is to others; how even in this last chapter of her life she is making new friends.....

Encourage her to see that her fall has some positive meaning. This is part of God's PLAN for her that she cannot understand now. We know it's for the GOOD...

I think she will probably go home and will be fine as long as she does not give up HOPE. There is ALWAYS HOPE....NEVER GIVE UP.....

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding...." Proverbs

Last edited by mimi1254; 07/06/05 08:03 AM.

I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
Hi Mimi....

Good to hear from you, I've got to leave for a dr. appointment.

I'm glad to hear that things with H have calmed down. Don't be embarassed, you're still (part) human even though you're a GODDESS.

You're right about Mrs. Reese. She is a testimony to marriage, and to a life well lived. Even though she and H only rose to limited modest means, that are examples of a rich, wealthy life.

Georgia


Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
Good news....

A/C guy called, he is going to get started on installing the new unit this afternoon. I don't know if he'll finish today or not.

Georgia


Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
Good Morning to all -

I just heard from my attorney. A court date of August 3 @ 2:00 PM has been set. I feel sick and like I just want to go escape somehow.

We would have been married 29 years on August 28.

Georgia


Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 3,912
_
Member
Offline
Member
_
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 3,912
I don't now what to say, Georgia.
Just wishing you the best.

-AD


A guy, 50. Divorced in 2005.
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 2,863
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 2,863
GG, just caught up with your latest on your thread. I understand the sick feeling. So sorry. I also understand that you have no other choice, except to allow your WW to abuse you and your marriage.

Pray that she comes to her senses. If she doesn't, you will be okay.

Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
Wow, Georgia:

I got married just a month before you did.

I know it's tough, my friend. After being with someone for this length of time, it feels like that a part of you is missing. You never would have thought that it would have ended this way. You feel like this is the END OF THE ROAD for you... Believe me, it is not...

As long as there is breath inside of you, there is HOPE for a BETTER TOMORROW. The prayer that I have for you is that you will be with your WW because you know that I feel that God must have brought you together. However, for unknown reasons to us, reasons too awesome for us to understand, maybe being with WW is not GOD's will for you.

Whatever the case, GOD is certainly working in your life. You are making such a difference in the lives of others- me,Reggie, Mrs. Reese, CASA. You have to wonder if this didn't happen so you can be in place for them...

Good things are in store for you, Georgia. Continue to have trust and faith that this is being all worked out for you... that this is all part of the PLAN.....


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
Don't you just hate it when you do a really long post and then it just disapperars?

Oh well, what I really need to say is thanks for your response. It is indeed encouraging.

I think that in many ways if we had suffered through a life of hard times, struggles, arguments, etc...maybe this wouldn't be so hard to deal with. Maybe.

But, that's not the case. I've enjoyed such a wonderful life with her, she's been such a wonderful wife and mother, such a compassionate companion. And I trusted her so much, so completely, like I've never trusted anyone else in my life.

I dunno, no need to rehash it all I guess. Mimi...my day for a pity party, eh?

Tonight is the last night of CASA training. I went to court again this morning, not quite as intense as the last time. There were 3 cases. In one, a set of grandparents were granted permanent custody of their 5 grandkids. Another, a 17 y.o. boy was placed permanently with his foster mom. His mother, a nurse in Atlanta, didn't have time to come to court or work her DFCS case plan. The last, 2 kids who had spent 4 years in the court system, through 15 hearings, were permanently removed from their parents, who had numerous drug problems, been in lots of rehab, had lots of legal problems such as forgery. CASA has been directed to try to identify a suitable permanent home for the kids.

And...I left the courthouse and was approached, one block away, by the most direct confrontation with a prostitute that I have ever experienced. Man...this girl was quite direct. How's that for nerve, solicitiing one block from the jail / sheriff's office?

Oh, the presiding judge from this morning is speaking to our CASA group tonight.

Jeb and I enjoyed some quality time at Mrs. Reeses last night. I caught him dialing the phone, I think he was calling the rescue organization to come pick him up as he's dissatisfied with his overheated home.

Nothing new on the Mrs. Reese sitch.

That's it for me.

Georgia


Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 3
G
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member
G
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 3
Hey GG...

Still here, watching, lurking, learning...

Sorry to hear about the 'D' Date, but God has a plan as you know.

There is a new poster in a similar situation. W in an EA, could go PA anytime. Wants her cake and boyfriend. You know the drill soldier...

Perhaps your experience and strength could help him???

His Screen name is JSINSD .

Blessings,

Gib

PS - your story has sparked my interest in CASA. I've been reading up on it...


Formerly Gibby1 Never could get my old password to work... Married 24 Years 2 Sons Alcoholic - Sober ~ 4 yrs Been at MB since 11/01/2001
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
Georgia:

Not a pity party..an honest expression of your feelings.

We're listening and care about you.

You said:

Quote
And...I left the courthouse and was approached, one block away, by the most direct confrontation with a prostitute that I have ever experienced. Man...this girl was quite direct. How's that for nerve, solicitiing one block from the jail / sheriff's office?


Given our shared belief system, who do you think this was? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
Interesting you would say that, Mimi...

Yes, I think this girl was all part of a plan, albeit not always God's.

Funny, the last time I was very directly approached by a prostitute was when I was in Vancouver last October on the trip from HELL.

I had actually forgotten about this. OM has showed up in the hotel lobby and WW went downstairs to meet him after I had gone to bed. She didn't tell me she was going to meet him, but I knew....and I was right. I left the hotel and went for a ride about 2:00 AM. I ended up in a really bad part of Vancouver. There was a lady walking down the street, clothed appropriated for being on the street at 2:00 AM. I stopped at a red light and this lady starting walking "quickly" towards my car, and I can still hear her voice. It was something like "hey you, come here!!!". But it had such desperation in it. And, truthfully, I was so angry at WW that I really, really entertained the opportunity that night. Thankfully, that's as far as it went.

Isn't it ironic how these "coincidental" events occur?

Yes, I agree with you Mimi...

Georgia


Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
I'm getting ready to leave and I don't know when I'll be back.

I will be visiting my friends at the FAA tomorrow, and I've been called for jury duty on Monday (strange, huh?).

And...I just got a call from my realtor. She said she's just gotten a call from someone looking for a house who wants to buy in our subdivision but there are no houses in there on the market right now. She wanted to know how close I was to be able to sell. I told her that on August 4 I will be able to give her more information.

Georgia


Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 888
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 888
Hi Georgia,

I'm sorry to hear about your assistant's illness. I hope you don't mind if I offer a suggestion or two.

If you or your office wants to send a gift, please think PRACTICAL first. There is a lot of incidental expense afterward, and it adds up more than you would think. For at least the first 100 days (after that the drs start modifying things as the patient progresses), everyone in the house will wash their hands constantly. Hand towels are a no-no and you wouldn't believe the amount of paper towels that will be used. A nice gift would be enough anti-bacterial liquid soap dispensers for every sink in the house along with one of those big jugs for refilling them, and several rolls of paper towel (a dozen is definitely not too much!). Watch for paper towel coupons and send those too because the paper towel will be replaced more often than anyone realizes at first).

He won't be allowed to have things like ketchup unless it is out of a newly-opened bottle or individual packets. One of the most thoughtful things that someone did for FWH was to ask people in their office to request extra condiment packets whenever they got carry out. Remember things like syrup, mayo, and tarter sauce--some places will offer a few packets of condiments that don't go with what you've ordered if you tell them why you're asking.

If your office wants to send a less practical gift, remember the "forgotton" people too--the spouse and kids. Think of gifts that help keep the stress level manageable. Young kids--sidewalk chalk, coloring books, new crayons, etc (things that are calming and they can do by themselves). Gift certificates are a good choice too--think "escape" for kids (movie passes, video or video game rental passes, etc) and think "rejuvenating" for the spouse (massage, etc).

In a situation like this, it is not tacky to call the spouse first and ask what they need or to make sure that what you want to send is ok. FWH got two fruit baskets--the thought was nice but he wasn't allowed to eat it. I ate the limes--in a few rum and cokes LOL.

Postcards, notes, etc are usually a bright spot in a day too.

I enjoy reading your thread and I've gotten some ideas for myself--pottery sounds wonderful and is something I've always wanted to try. Thanks for the idea <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
Hi LB -

Thanks for the input on the issue with my assistant.

He can't have flowers or fruit baskets. To complicate matters, he is not an employee of our company, but rather works through a contract firm. Therefore, company policy is that they ("we") can't send anything.

However, I took up money among the folks in our department and we bought a grocery store gift cerficiate. I delivered that to him along with a get well card.

I'll follow up with him and perhaps we can something more later.

Georgia


Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
Hi Georgia:

I forgive you ahead of time.

You didn't catch your faux pas.....


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
I'm here.


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
Page 31 of 116 1 2 29 30 31 32 33 115 116

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 193 guests, and 58 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
ViiMege, kalmiya, holderroger508, Seraphinang, ScreamArt
71,920 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Advice pls
by BrainHurts - 12/24/24 02:50 PM
Question for those who have done coaching
by Blackhawk - 12/12/24 11:08 PM
Newbie here. Advice appreciated. MLC??
by Dynamiq - 12/06/24 05:02 PM
Separation
by BrainHurts - 11/27/24 08:59 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,619
Posts2,323,475
Members71,920
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5