Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 45 of 116 1 2 43 44 45 46 47 115 116
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
Sorry...I shouldn't have jumped at that so quickly.

I'm going to lunch.

Weather is BEAUTIFUL here today. Almost as cool as a fall day, low humidity. It feels great. I came to work today with the windows down sunroof open.

I know that this is trivial, but sometimes (like today) I can just feel like LIFE IS GOOD, despite all the detours and personal stuff going on. Jeb loves me no matter what!!

Georgia

Last edited by Formerly G.G.; 08/26/05 09:30 AM.

Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
Night, folks.....

Have a good weekend.


Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,173
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,173
sometimes (like today) I can just feel like LIFE IS GOOD

Philippians 4:7 (New International Version)

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.


Married 18 years
D Day June 25, 2003
Divorced December 17, 2003

Newly married to a wonderful man!
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
Good Morning to all –

Thanks, WOF, for that reference. Phil: 4:4-7 has been one of my favorite passages for a long time.

Friday evening was absolutely wonderful. I had my friends J&L over for dinner, they ended up staying until almost midnight. L loves old houses and that was the first time she had seen the house, she was really taken with it.

We really had some good conversation. They have grown so much over the years and J has gone through so many trials (medically). They are becoming quite active in the church and were planning on joining Sunday morning. I don’t know if they did as they attend an earlier service than I (we have 5 AM services). L is a retired teacher and she led a donation program to gather school supplies for underprivileged families. She had an article in the church bulletin Sunday that said the church supplied 32 families with back to school supplies. J (a former alcoholic) works with a ministry in our church helping families of both active / recovering alcoholics & drug addicts.

I talked to them about the home Bible study coming up and I think they may be interested.

Saturday I kind of slept in as I was up so late Friday night (about 2:00 AM Saturday) washing dishes and all after they left.

My next door neighbor came over and told me he had a couple of steaks and asked if I’d like to grill them for lunch. So, I did and he came over and we talked a long time. (We had the steaks and left over potatoes & broccoli from Friday night). He and his fiancée are getting married next Saturday and he is quite nervous. Anyway, we got to really know each other and it was nice to talk to him for a while. His fiancée was out of town and due back late Saturday night.

Sunday after church I had lunch (Mexican) with the family. It was absolutely great!! It’s getting to be more and more like the old days (sans Mom). There was no conversation about any of the marital woes and we just all had a good time together. I loved it.

Afterwards, I did my CASA visit (father of the kids), then on down to visit Mrs. Reese. Her mental acuity seemed pretty good, but physically she looks terrible. She told me she has had a hard time eating and lost a lot of weight (I believe it). She is really looking all shrunken and emaciated.

She wanted to bash her D again. This time, she wants to hire a lawyer and take her to court. I kept telling her that these matters are between her and her 3 kids, that I’m not going to get involved. She wanted to know if I could help her get out of there. I just kept telling her that this is an issue between her and her kids.

Then, immediately back to town for Bible study at church at 6:30.

Afterwards, I went home and gilled myself a T-Bone steak and made a salad. I ate while watching the news and such.

As you may recall, Sunday was our 29th anniversary. I expected this day to be hard, but I stayed really busy and didn’t think about it too much. I had some trouble with it Saturday night (sat and cried for a while), but Sunday wasn’t too tough.

WW has taken to trying to call me. She called Sunday evening during the Bible study (about 7:30 PM), again 3X around 10:00 – 11:00 PM, and again 3X this morning about 6:00 AM. I didn’t answer any of the calls, and she’s not left any messages. I don’t know what that is all about unless it’s the last ditch attempt to show me the error of my ways and that I’m overreacting to this whole thing.

I dropped my car off at he body shop this morning and picked up a rental. My car should be ready on Thursday.

GOOD MORNING, MIMI….

My book’s not here yet, I checked Saturday. I went by the library and checked out “WE WERE SOLDIERS”, “TUCK EVERLASTING”, and “KATE AND LEOPOLD”. I started WE WERE SOLDIERS Saturday night. Nothing like the sound of Huey’s loud enough to shake the living room.

Georgia


Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
Georgia:

You are such a SOCIAL BUTTERFLY! I am so impressed! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I can't help but mention, though, my concerns about all of that steak you are eating....I'm such a health nut....

You said:

Quote
I don’t know what that is all about unless it’s the last ditch attempt to show me the error of my ways and that I’m overreacting to this whole thing.

Ok, Georgia, you know better by now. You can't make assumptions or even logical conclusions about her. Who knows why she's calling? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Hang in there as I know you will....


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
Hi Mimi...

I must admit I've never been called a SOCIAL BUTTERFLY!! However, I have recognized for many, many years that I would like to entertain in our home but W didn't want to, so I just acquiesced. It seems like now I'm enjoying making up for lost time.

I'm glad you're a health nut. I keep reminding myself of how much better I felt when I was working out regularly and eating more sensibly. It's just something I've got to get myself back to and shed these extra pounds. I'm beginning to feel that I'm preparing to hibernate.

Georgia


Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,387
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,387
Hey FGG! I admire you so much for all you do! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

You are really recovering!

And it's only because you are such a fine and caring person that you were sad on saturday. I was particularly down this weekend, who knows why, because there was no particular reason. Telepathy? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Dog has been acting strange too...

Anyway, I hope you soon begin to enjoy your activities!

cc


cc

"Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"
cc46 #1345381 08/30/05 01:28 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,387
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,387
Are you OK?


cc

"Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"
cc46 #1345382 08/30/05 02:08 PM
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
CC:

How are you?

Georgia, probably took today off....


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,387
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,387
I heard there might be some backlash from Katrina in Georgia...

I'm OK. No news. DDs are off to dinner with their father tonight, so I have one of my "intimate" evenings.

cc


cc

"Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"
cc46 #1345384 08/31/05 07:12 AM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
Good Morning, folks..

I'm back from the dead. I actually came down with what seems a summer cold and I got to feeling really poorly Monday afternoon. I left early and stayed home yesterday.

Thanks, cc, for the kind remarks. Jeb has gotten into a new routine now. He goes to sleep snuggled up with me every night. The next morning, he is either in the recliner, on the couch, or beside the bed. When I get out of the shower, he's back in bed with his head on MY pillow!!

Pottery class resumed last night (been stopped for the last 3 weeks). I did go to that. I made myself a sugar bowl and lid (on the wheel). I am very, very pleased with it. We'll see what it looks like after it's glazed, but the shape turned out great.

Okay, now for the real news. Monday night there was a knock at the door. I opened it and it was WW. She asked if we could talk and I said okay, so we sat down on the swing on the front porch. She wasted no time telling me (almost immediately)that she now realizes that I have been emotionally abusing her all these years (as long as we've been married) and that she was driven to have a relationship with another man. Then, somewhere in there, she threw in that OM has gone back to Iran and said "didn't #2S tell you?". I don't exactly know what that means, and I didn't pursue it.

I told her that I know what emotional abuse is, that she HAS NOT been emotionally abused, and I asked her to leave. I got up and went back inside and closed the door. She left.

Aftewards, I took Jeb for a walk to the park. I called #2S and told him what had happened. I asked if he was supposed to have given me some message from Mom. He said that he didn't know anything about it and didn't know what she's talking about. I told him that she said I had emotionally abused her. He laughed and said "Dad, she's crazy. Don't listen to anything she says".

Frankly, she's getting where she scares me. I never know what she's going to say or do. In her mind, she is still very much justified in her actions and she's been the victim in this whole mess. I can just hear her telling the judge she's been emotionally abused for 29 years!!

Oh...one more thing. She told me that from everything she hears, I'm just continuing on and building a new life for myself. Duh!! Like that's something I'm supposed to be ashamed of or something, maybe I need to wallow in sorrow and remorse until she she sees fit to give me another chance (or runs out of other men to have an R with).

Anyway, I don't want to get started on this right now. (Boys and girls....let's think happy thoughts!!).

Today is #2S's 23rd birthday. I (along with #1S/DIL) are taking he & DIL out to dinner after church tonight.

BTW - Our last family vacation together before #1S got married was to New Orleans. It was a wonderful, wonderful vacation and New Orleans is a beautiful historic city. We need to all pray for the many folks impacted by the hurricane. Our church (of which I am so proud) sent out an e-mail Monday morning of specific supplies for each SS class to bring to church this Sunday. We will be sending a team as soon as conditions permit. As I still have somewhere in the neighborhood of 3 weeks of vacation left, I may see if I can volunteer to help.

Sidebar: Me and a co-worker went to Charleston 2 days after Hurricane Hugo with a truck load of supplies donated by our company. That was a sight I will never forget. We went downtown to the civic center, which had been set up as a "command post". They unloaded our truck and asked us if we would go out to Folly Island with water and other supplies for the residents, which we did. We had to go through numerous National Guard checkpoints, the whole place looked like a war zone. We unloaded at a small church on the island, the pastor was coordinating efforts there.

Okay, I'm rambling again.

GOOD MORNING, MIMI....

Georgia


Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
And life goes on.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,781
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,781
FGG,

I continue to admire your grace in handling your WW. You sound grounded and at peace as well.

Volunteering to help in New Orleans sounds like a great idea. They could really use someone like you. God Bless them all.

Last edited by CSue; 08/31/05 09:27 AM.

"The actions you speak are louder than your words!"
Author unknown

"Miracles are seen in light."
From "A Course In Miracles".
CSue #1345387 08/31/05 05:39 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,387
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,387
FGG,

Only thing I can say is WOW! I'm sorry this continues, on and on... It is really very weird. Do you know if your WW has managed to work "normally" all this time?

Her behaviour is so strange.

I really feel for you. It must be very hard.

But you handled yourself wonderfully <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> Be very proud of yourself for upholding your principles. I hope that I can do the same if I ever have to talk to WH again. I will think of you if that ever happens...


cc

"Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"
cc46 #1345388 09/01/05 12:58 AM
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 3,912
_
Member
Offline
Member
_
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 3,912
Georgia,

I'm reading your thread every day. I don't have much to say. I know it's sad for you... very sad. 29 years and one bad counselor (who I suppose must be reinforcing at least your ww's "emotional abuse" theory). It's unbelievable. I hope she gets some help.

God bless you all.

-AD


A guy, 50. Divorced in 2005.
_AD_ #1345389 09/01/05 07:09 AM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
Good Morning to all -

Thanks for the comments, AD and cc. Regarding work, I know that she is still working, but I don't know any details. As I've said here, she has apparently dropped out of church pretty much. If he employer knew THE TRUTH of what is going on, I suspect that she would be fired. I don't plan to tell them.

Our church is indeed making plans to go to the coast, but timing is of course yet to be worked out. Supplies are being gathered, and I've put my name on the "tentative list". I'd like to go depending on the timing, we'll see. There are several sites in our city being readied to receive refugees here, so I may see if there is something I can do here to help out. Also, local hospitals have been notified that they may receive patients from hospitals being evacuated.

Last night after church I met "family" at a local Italian restaurant for dinner. It was #2S's birthday, and I stopped at Kroger and picked up a cake. We all had a wonderful time, it is getting more and more like "old times" except without WW being there. It still saddens me a lot. Her own sons' 23rd birthday, and she's not there. But, we had a lot of fun and good laughs together. The designated waitress came over and sang the Italian "happy birthday" to him.

Just in case anyone wants to hear me complain, I feel lousy as this cold is still hanging on.

And...my car should be ready this afternoon.

I've got to start planning the home Bible study soon. I looked at the Disciple series and I'm not sure that's a good fit for what I'm wanting to do. #2S tells me that Lifeway has a good series called "Serendipity" that he would recommend (he worked at Lifeway before he got married). I've got to go check that out.

Okay, work to be done. My company is in the process of massive lay-off's. However, my boss has told me that both myself and my little band of comrades here are all safe.

Georgia


Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3
J
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member
J
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3
I've followed your progress over the last few months and I must say you are an inspiration. Your faith is evident in every post. The contribution of your time to your church and community are also a testiment to your faith. I am impressed by your strength and willingness to help total strangers. You are obviously an intelegent and compassionate man. Keep up the good work. IMHO your WW sees you as controling only as a way to justify her inability to take responsibility for her own choises. As I said it is an oppinion.

Thank you for your efforts to help the vicims of hurricane Katrina. As a resident of south LA, my personal property was not affected by the storm or the flood waters, but I know many people whose homes are destroyed. My sisters home in a burg in N.O. and is under water. She is a nunn and is taking care of elderly sisters whose nursing facility is underwater. My H and I are houseing 3 families from Bay St. Louis MS. 2 of the homes are destroyed from the wind, rain and storm surge. The third home does not exist. The foundation is there, but nothing else can be found. They have only what they could pack in their cars. Our small home town just of I-10 is housing approximately 150 people that were stranded this morning when the Super Dome officials turned them away. Whole families are sleeping in cars at rest stops along the interstate. FAmilies, churchs and communities here are desperately struggling to help. We are encouraging those people with children to enroll them in school as soon as possible. But when you don't have basic housing and food it's difficult to think about your childs education.
Your knowledge of families in crisis is valuable and needed. I urge you to use your resources and give you time. The news broadcasts can NOT and do NOT give you the scope of the devestation.
Volunteers from Cajun Country sent 200 plus boats to the N. O. area to rescue those in the flood. The reports are staggering. Hundreds are still out there and the rescue is becoming a recovery effort.
I ask you to pray.

Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
Good Morning to all -

Hello, julsnla, nice to meet you, and thank you for the kind words. However, I must say that I think you and your H are examples of compassion in what you are doing to help those displaced families. When we (the 4 of us) vacationed in N.O. about 4 years ago, we spent one day south of N.O. down in the bayou area and did one of those alligator tours. I know that some of those areas are very poor and homes are built on the "inlets" as residents make their living fishing / shrimping. I'm sure those homes are gone now. I also wonder about the other things we did / saw. The D-Day Museum, Cafe du Monde, the river boat.

It is indeed a tragedy what has happened there. I find myself thinking of the reports of looting, violence, rape...and wonder what lesson there is in the long run for all of us. Has the world denigrated to the point that it is only a strong police presence that keeps some sort of civil order for all of us, or is this the normal behavior of all of us if pushed to extremes? I dunno, perhaps I think too much some time.

#1S has told me that he would like to go with me if I go on a mission trip with my church. Of course, I have to wonder when that will happen. I must admit that I would cherish the time that he and I could minister together again for some time the way we did when he lived at home.

I am looking forward to some time over the next few days to start work on my deck and pergola. I have the 4X4's for the posts and am ready to set those. I may take Tuesday off as well and make it a 4 day weekend.

My car wasn't ready yesterday, maybe today.

I talked to Mrs. Reese's daughter last night. There is a huge pear tree in her back yard and I called to ask if I could have some of the pears. Anyway, her D was telling met that she doesn't think her M is doing good at all. And, then she again started telling me how emotionally draining this whole thing has been for her, etc, etc. I don't know how to respond to this whole family except to just listen and nod my head. Actually, I feel a little "awkward" with this middle-aged lady (about my age) wanting to tell me about how she feels every time I talk to her. I still think she and her 2 B's need to be locked into a padded room together and not let out until they kiss and make up.

Jeb told me last night that I was not taking good care of him in that he is suffering from flea infestation. I treated him again (he was 1 day past due) with Frontline. I may need to couple that with some flea shampoo / dip.

It occured to me that I neglected to greet the goddess yesterday, so I may have to suffer some degree of humility and beg her forgiveness.

GOOD MORNING, MIMI....

I thought of you yesterday, I heard Z.Z. Tops "Cheap Sunglasses" on the radio.

Georgia


Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
Hi Georgia:

I'm really sad and upset about the folks in NO this morning. This is devastating....

On a good note, H and I will leave on a fun trip on Monday, returning on Friday...

I know you of all people will be missing me...

I'm selfishly looking forward to a GREAT ESCAPE....

I'm trusting in the LORD and not leaning on my own understanding of this..there's a message here, I think, about the sick and downtrodden....


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
Hi Mimi....

Yes, I will miss you.

There is nothing selfish about wanting an escape with your H, I know that you will enjoy it. Do you still enjoy photography? I've been trying to spend more time lately with my camera and taking pictures.

Last night I spent some good quality time on my front porch in my swing just thinking back over this whole saga. Sometimes it's nice to just stop and reflect, remember where I've been, think about where I'm going.

Perhaps BOLD LOVE will get here and I can catch up on my reading while you're out of town. Or do you plan to take the book and read while you travel? When W and I would travel, I liked to read and let her drive, and she liked that too.

Okay, I'm rambling.

Monday evening I'm having my parents and aunt/uncle over for dinner. #1S/DIL are going to visit WW's parents, #2S/DIL aren't going to be in town. I'm going to grill chicken and they're going to just bring a side dish.

Georgia


Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Page 45 of 116 1 2 43 44 45 46 47 115 116

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 260 guests, and 72 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
ScreamArt, BibleBeliever, JhocelinDeschamp, Elysia007, coursefpx
71,915 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Question for those who have done coaching
by Blackhawk - 12/12/24 11:08 PM
Newbie here. Advice appreciated. MLC??
by Dynamiq - 12/06/24 05:02 PM
Separation
by BrainHurts - 11/27/24 08:59 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,618
Posts2,323,473
Members71,916
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5