Me thinks that the power may need to get turned off...with warning, of course...

Getting feisty in my old age or what???

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Yep, so the utilities don't get paid...and don't get paid, and don't get paid, and after 2 months (or a month) they get shut off, and she won't be able to turn them back on without switching to her name, or paying extra fees...the consequences of her actions...

FGG:

I agree with mojodiva. All you should need 2 do is have your name removed in place of hers. Then, it's entirely on her credit report if she decides not 2 take the 1/2 you sent her and pay the bill - her responsibility.

Gadz, this shouldn't be happening.

-ol' 2long

Good Morning folks….

Okay, first for the xW update. I talked to my attorney Friday afternoon and told him what’s going on. He suggested that I go ahead and pay the utility bills (as they are in my name), but tell xW that they will be deducted from the January alimony payment. And, I need to pick a date that I submit “turn-off” orders to each of the utilities, being sure to give her enough time to get them transferred to her name if she wishes to do so. Otherwise, they will be disconnected. For the record, I can’t just transfer them from my name to hers, she would have to call and have her account set up.

So…I’ve done just that. I’ve paid all utility bills and e-mailed her that all utility bills would be deducted from the January alimony payment. Also, a disconnect order for the gas, water, and electricity has been submitted for December 19. (I’ve got to send an e-mail today to this effect).

Friday night she left me a long voice mail message about having some medical test done for some kind of an infection and wanted to know if I was going to be in town over the weekend in case she had to go into the hospital. (?????).

Then, Saturday she called me 4X and left various messages regarding bills, none of which really was very important.

I’m getting the impression that she thinks we’re going to be divorced but “best buddies”. I’m not really sure that I want that. Actually, I’m VERY sure that I would have a hard time having a conversation with her right now after that court room scene.

On to more pleasant subjects. The trip to the children’s home on Saturday was wonderful. We left really early, but we had a great day with the kids. When the little red-headed girl (whom I’ve fallen madly in love with) saw me coming, she ran to me and threw her arms around me. Needless to say, I spent much of the day with her.

We took 90 people on this trip, so the kids were outnumbered about 2:1. There is no way that I can ever describe the emotions of the day in such a way that any of you can understand without having been there. One team of our guys had designed a complete manger scene. They, along with the “help” of some of the teen guys assembled it and stained it in front of the campus. The boys were so proud of the work they had done on that manger.

The tool boxes that I took over were a huge success. I worked one-on-one with kids assembling them, then some of the other folks with us took over assisting with sanding and painting them. One little girl told me she was going to give hers to her Daddy for Christmas.

The hit of the day was the party after dinner. We had more toys that had been donated than I could imagine. There was one VERY LARGE stocking placed under the tree for each child (with their name on the stocking). Earlier in the day we had stuffed the stockings in the work area while the kids were outside playing (with some of our other volunteers). Of course, you know whose stocking I stuffed.

Then, during the party, the person who stuffed a particular stocking took it to the child and gave it to them. I have never seen such excited children. There was one little girl (8 y.o.) who literally “squealed” when her name was called.

It is so hard to believe that these kids are the most severely abused kids in the state of Georgia, abused to the point that they can’t stay in foster or normal group homes.

We got home late Saturday night (about 11:00).

Anyway, that’s about it for now.

It’s going to be a very eventful week for me. My CASA case goes back to trial on Thursday for the final custody hearing. Also, Thursday is when I am “officially” changing jobs.

WELCOME BACK MIMI!!!! (And…aren’t you “forgetting” something about that sig line?).

Georgia

Good Morning, Georgia:

Back to work today...YUK!!!

I'm not so sure that I like 51..at 50, I was giving myself 50 more years..you know, at least, half a lifetime left...

But given my goal to remain a positive thinker, I'm planning to have as much fun each day as possible...

I'll get to that sig line when I get chance..How's that for procrastination?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Good job, Georgia. Its now no longer your problem.

Thanks, Mojodiva....

I still have to deal with selling the house issue. The agent did call me late Friday and told me she had gotten in touch with xW. She said xW didn't want to meet with her until she had talked to her attorney again.

Also, in one of the many voice mails she left me, she said she had found a townhouse she likes. She's trying to work out a plan to allow her to move into it before she lists the house so she won't have people coming through all the time.

That will be okay with me IF, and that's a big IF, she doesn't procrastinate too much. Actually, I kind of like that idea because I have really been dreading going back over there to get the rest of my furniture and other stuff. It will be much less stressful if she has moved out already when I go back.

(Mimi...it'll be our secret about the sig line thing. I'll not tell.)

Georgia

(((((FGG)))))

G.Guy, perhaps you might consider implementing the "Final Step" in church discipline (Matthew 18:17) and sever all contact until she repents. As long as you continue to "negotiate" with her along "worldly" lines, you lose.

Trying to be a "nice guy" has not been of much help. Turn her over to God, completely, and walk away. I know it's hard, but if you don't stand on God's Word, then you've already "lost" and can complain about all her contacts with you and her "dragging her feet" forever. She needs to be ALONE. She chose this path and she needs to walk it. It is the one remaining hope that you can have for her...to turn her completely over to God and His will.

GG, you are not, nor imho, can you be, "best buddies." You WERE man and wife and SHE chose to end the marriage in direct disobedience to God. There is little room, if any, for "okay, you can sin against God with impunity and it's 'okay' with me so I will keep playing 'nice-nice' with you even though you have no intention of repenting."

GG, the Jews KNEW, and Jesus called them on it, but He did NOT remain in contact with them after doing so. The individual MUST choose....for God or against God....and then live with the consequences.

God is also a God of Peace....and you deserve the peace that He is willing to grant you in this....knowing that your ex-wife is in HIS capable hands and not requiring your intervention or continued abuse at your former wife's hands.

God bless.

Good Morning to all -

Well, a total of 4 e-mails from xW waiting on me this morning. I DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT understand her.

Here is a couple of gems I've excerpted:

Georgia, I realize you went through a lot because of my depression and what now appears to be a mental illness. You may have hung in there longer than some, but not as long as others."

"You do realize that we both went through that rather humilating experience because you chose to not settle out of court." (WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT????)

"Food for Thought: Although some say it is out of spite that you got rid of the car and the house, consider this. My therapist says that I could never allow myself to achieve a higher status than my mom, because unconsiciously in my mind that would mean I am being disloyal to her. Your mom and dad never approved of this house or the car, (probably jealousy?), did that make you feel you didn't have any right to them? That you weren't good enough? You worked hard, it was none of their business. Just a thought ..."

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH......

Somebody help me before she drives me totally insane....

Even though there is A LOT more....no mention of either #1OM or #2OM. Strange how there is such a myriad of issues, but NONE have to do with having another man in the middle of your marriage.

I am tempted to reply "my therapist says that a marriage is one man and one woman". But....I'm not going to reply at all....it would only encourage her (thanks FH).

I DO NOT need to be caught up in her own little drama any longer. I can't stand it.

Georgia

Good Morning, Georgia:

Is there any way to block her E-Mails?

I don't think there is any need for you to try to understand her now...

Time to move on...

I don't think she is capable of being understood given that she is being irrational...

If you can't block the E-Mails, I would tell her that you would consider it harassment for her to continue communicating with you this way...

Maybe ask her to contact your attorney about business matters and that's all the communication you want from her from now on....NO MORE CONFLICT AVOIDANCE....

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Sure, just block them in your "preferences."

Or, just get a new account with new email address and DO NOT give it to her. But if she's really persistant, she will eventually find out the new email address, so blocking HER is the "best solution."

FGG....enough is enough, don't you think? More psychobabble from her "Therapist" instead of a simple instruction to "humbly obey God no matter what you think or feel."

Be done FGG, and put an end to her (and Satan's) attempts to make you feel "Guilty" and responsible for HER sinful choices.

God bless.

Well...she's taken to sending her e-mails to both my work and personal address.

Unfortunately, I do need to have SOME communication with her due to the house. I wouldn't want all tidbits of communication going directly to my attorney at the rate of $2.50 per minute. Plus...as of Dec. 1 he is no longer in private practice, he has joined the local public defenders office. He can still represent me for the next 6 months as part of his contract with the city.

I think if I just ignore her "personal" messages she will quit sending them. Believe me, FH, I DO NOT feel guilty, even with her repeated attempts to try to reclaim the high road.

I think there may be more drama in the future, as she made mention of waiting to see what furnishings she wants depending on where she ends up. I thought (?) that she and I had agreed on a very clear list of who gets what. Oh well....I'm not going to make a big issue of it, I've got all I need to get by (Jeb is quite content).

Georgia

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

BTW, H took me to look at puppies on Saturday. He was going to surprise me with one but they had already been claimed by owners.. I'm not sure that we want to get back into childrearing again, though...

Okay..you KNOW that you have to tell us what kind of puppies!

Inside or outside puppies?

I'll tell Jeb, he will be SO excited!

You see, Big Brother/ Watchdog here is not letting me on to your site...

I have to find out exactly how to spell the name of the puppies..

H and I are having a discussion about outside vs. inside...

Even though he was resistant to having an "inside" dog before he was considering buying me an "inside" dog for the surprise...

Goddesses need "LAP DOGS"....

So this is a sort of an ongoing POJA discussion now...

To be continued....

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Well...I don't know if you are interested, but it was the PETFINDERS web-site that led me to Jeb.

I'm not trying to be a commerical for the folks, but it seems as though they have links to LOTS of rescued dogs of all ages & breeds that need a home. And...of course Jeb came 100% house broken!

Don't get any ideas, because you can't have him, but Jeb gets in my lap often before my behind hits the chair. He has finally learned that if I'm sitting and eating that he has to sit there and look at me until I finish, then he is immediately in my lap!!

However, a GODDESS would probably prefer something a little more passive like a Yorkie.

Georgia

Well, here is the puppy H was looking at for me..

I had never heard of it before....

I am rather "girly", I have to admit, as my boys say...


Puppy for Me?

Hi, Georgia.

I am going to agree with FH, but along a different line.

Consider telling her something like this.

"Xwife. In the future, please only contact me regarding matters of compliance with the court order.

I do not wish to hear about your personal issues. I do not want to be your friend. Other than the matters mentioned above, please stay away from me.

Regards,
Georgia"

I know this sounds harsh, but you really will have to set a boundary with her. She mentions a mental illness. I still believe that she is ill. Regardless, she is not going to leave you alone until you basically make her.

You need the peace of not being reminded of all that has gone before you, Georgia. It is high time you had some peace that spans more than a day.

If you don't wish to communicate via email with her, then do it via letter and the postal system. Slow and inefficient is sometimes good. As for your furniture, unless you have keepsakes at the house, I suggest you let it go.

If you like woodworking, I have a 2,100 sqft shop at home that is air conditioned, and has every tool you can think of including a cnc router. You are welcome to drive over and build anything you want. There is a bathroom and a TV and futon upstairs. You can build real keepsakes <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

God bless,
Gimble

Wow...that is quite an invitation, Gimble! LOL - You have a shop that is 700 sqft larger than my house!! That is very kind of you. I do miss my work area at "our" house. I had a workbench in the garage where I could spend lots of time working on stuff. My little 1935 garage doesn't even have power, something I'm thinking about remedying so I can add a work area as well.

I think xW is having a hard time understanding that it is really, really over. She sent me some medical bills to pay, 2 of which has been for doctors visits since the divorce. Does she not understand that I don't pay her bills anymore? (rhetorical).

Anyway, I'll make sure some distance is put between us.

Mimi...you won't believe this. My "granddog" (#1S/DIL's) is a Shih Tzu. She was DIL's dog before they married, but now she is attached to #1S. She is very, very "snooty". She is definitely a GODDESS dog because she apparently believes herself to be a GODDESS as well. (Jeb WOULD NOT be a GODDESS dog, he just loves people).

I'll see if I can round up a picture of her for you.

Georgia