Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 88 of 116 1 2 86 87 88 89 90 115 116
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
Good Morning everyone -

It is great being back home. I got home about 1:00 AM Saturday, so I slept in a little Saturday morning. But, after a good work out at the Y and going to pick up Jeb, I spent the rest of the day on a good house cleaning. It's nice to have the house cleaned up.

Well, much to my surprise xW allowed the appointments to go through on Saturday. My agent called Saturday night and said we had 2 contracts. The best was for full price, the second was for full price but we pay the closing costs (about 3%). So, she and I were to meet yesterday afternoon and sign the first contract, however she called about an hour before our appointment and said the people had decided they didn't have enough money for the closing costs, so they were backing out. The agent suggested we not go with the other as she said we will have no problem selling the house without paying the closing costs for the buyer. So, she is showing it again this afternoon to someone else (assuming xW is still cooperating).

Still nothing new from my lawyer. If I don't hear from him today, I'll call tomorrow as the 1st is coming up again. MN - as for the transcript, I actually wrote the check to the court reporter for the work. It was about $2.50 a page, and that's what it came out to for the length of the transcript.

Jeb and I enjoyed a nice walk over to the park yesterday. It was a beautiful day, albeit a little cool.

Anyway, it's nice to be home and stationary for a while. I don't have anymore trips on the horizon that I'm aware of, and I'm ready to stay home a bit.

Georgia


Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 59
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 59
GG,

Glad you have at least the first offer. So things should get moving. I think you should still push for the lawyer to get an exact move out date for the ex-wife because there are other areas she can stall on..such as having the closing date really far off etc. But I am sure you have thought about all the different aspects.

Sounds like you have a nice life going for you and Jeb. Wishing you the best.

Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
Good Morning all -

I just got a call from the attorney's office. The attorney's and judge have a conference call scheduled for 10:30 AM tomorrow. As the alimony & all is due today, I think I'll send xW an e-mail telling her I'm waiting on the outcome of the conference tomorrow before I transfer the money to her account.

I've really got mixed feelings about this. For the past one week, she's actually been cooperating with the realtor, however, it's taken her 3 1/2 months to begin to do so. And...there will be lots more hurdles to cross if she changes her mind and decides not to cooperate. One of the things I've asked my attorney to ask is that she has to be out of the house within 30 days no matter what.

I know this seems strange, but I actually have this fear that she'll be MAD when she finds out about this. I must stand in front of my mirror and work on having COURAGE. (I think I'll go home and watch The Wizard of Oz tonight).

Anyway...I should know by mid-day tomorrow where this is heading...

Georgia


Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
I have sent xW the following e-mail (actually, it's scheduled for delivery to her at 9:00 tonight):

"Good afternoon –

I understand that the attorneys and judge have a conference tomorrow morning at 10:30. Therefore, I will wait until I talk to (attorney) again before transferring the funds for March.

I am told that he should be able to contact me by lunch tomorrow, so I think the delay in knowing what to do will be very brief.

Thank you for sending my drivers license renewal.

Also, I have called (garbage company) several times and advised them that they need to send the statements to your address. However, a couple of days ago I got another statement from them that said “service suspended”. I called them again, but it was after hours so I left a message. You may wish to call them yourself (xxx-xxxx).

Georgia

P.S. I hope when the dust settles a bit, we can start working on our future relationship. I am about over the initial shock, but I don’t wish to rehash any emotional issue at this time."


Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,023
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,023
I am wondering about your postscript...

Why would you write that at this time? Is it just to let her know that you aren't ready for that conversation yet and to leave the door open for it in the somewhat near future?


Married 1976
Me:BS
Him:FWS
MB Weekend March 2003
2 S's: '77 & '80, 1 D: '82
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
Morning Trix -

I know that we need to have some relationship together, and I want it to be amicable. We still have children together and will be seeing each other from time to time. As an example, #2S graduates from college in May. He's told me that he's inviting both of us so we need to figure out how we're going to work it out.

However, I don't want her to launch into her usual stuff and I don't want to talk about OM, or any of that sort of stuff.

Anyway...that's why I added it.

Georgia


Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,023
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,023
I understand..I just think you might have waited until the house was sold and she was settled in her own place.

Once everything if finalized then I can see that conversation taking place.

Well, maybe it is for the best that you let her know you are open to that discussion at another time.

I keep hoping the the full ramifications of the turn in her life will have some eye opening effect on her. I realize that may be hoping against hope. Miracles can happen. I suspect any awakening she has may be too little too late for you.


Married 1976
Me:BS
Him:FWS
MB Weekend March 2003
2 S's: '77 & '80, 1 D: '82
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
Man...this is hard. I just had a conference call with my attorney and realtor. He asked for the discussion so he would be briefed up to date when he talks with the judge, which should be happening right now.

The realtor has more hot prospects and has 2 folks very interested right now.

What really threw me for a loop...she said that when she was there yesterday, xW asked her to tell me that she wants me to come home. That just tears me apart. Nothing has changed, and I know that. When I read the court transcripts about how wonderful OM is...how good he's been for her, and then her comments about me, well...it doesn't make me want to jump back into that frying pan.

But still, it is so very hard to have to keep making that choice and close that door.

Sigh...

I should know within an hour how the conference turned out..


Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 833
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 833
Hang in there GG!


WTF *** Warning *** Make sure brain is engaged before shifting mouth out of Neutral.
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
Okay,

The judge says that the house WILL have a lock box with a key (xW hasn't allowed that up until now). Also, any agent can make an appointment to show the house at any time of the day with a one day notice. xW MUST have the house ready and presentable.

And..if in 30 days the house isn't sold and the agent says xW isn't cooperating, then I take control of the house and schedule appointments without regard for xW.

However, I've still got to pay all the stuff for the month...

Georgia


Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,023
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,023
Since we can assume that nothing has changed with OM then why would she think you'd be okay to just go home.

Is it so she could stay in the house, have the lifestyle she's been accustomed to and continue to eat cake? Grasping at straws, her last attempt to keep the status quo? It is somewhat perplexing.

I wish oh wish a light bulb would go on and she would see the reality of what her choices have caused and take responsibility and have real remorse with a repentant spirit. Is it too much pride that keeps her from getting there or is it serious mental illness which I have suspected for a while now?

Would you describe her as a vibrant, intelligent, clear thinking woman? Maybe it is her depression and the thick fog that prevents her being able have insight into the main cause for the consequences she's having to experience.

I am sorry that this just continues to cause you pain and sorrow.


Married 1976
Me:BS
Him:FWS
MB Weekend March 2003
2 S's: '77 & '80, 1 D: '82
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 59
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 59
Wondered how you are doing?

Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
Good Morning all -

Thanks for asking MN2.

Actually, I've really been feeling good lately. The weather has been beautiful and I've been able to spend lots of time outdoors. I've been working in my yard getting ready for Spring, as well as cleaning and working around the pond. I sat out by the pond Sunday afternoon and took a wonderful nap in the sun. Jeb and I have been enjoying getting around town with the top down.

I've been staying really bust at work and I've had to miss a couple of my landscape classes. I think we've only got about 2 weeks left in this quarter. Thursday we went to a local landscape company that installs ponds and I got a lot of insight from the owner. Probably one of the biggest insights is that he charges $5,800 for an average size pond, it can be installed in less than 3 days with about $1,700 in material. Hummmmm...

I'm having another home bible study tonight, which I'm also looking forward to. I think there are going to be some folks coming that haven't been before. I put on a crock pot of Brunswick stew this morning before I left for work. I've never made Brunswick stew before and I'm using a recipe from Southern Living.

I've heard absolutely nothing else from xW, and I've not talked to my realtor since Friday. She called to tell me that xW called her and asked if she had said that she was being uncooperative. Apparently she's mad now that the agent has said that. There was a couple wanting to see the house on Friday, but xW didn't return phone messages to set up an appointment. Argh.... I've got a feeling that this is going to get worse before it gets better.

The last week or so I've felt really, really good. Like life is beginning to maybe finally come together and there is light at the end of the tunnel.

#2S is considering changing churches and is talking to one close to where they go to school. If he goes there, he'll not be coming to town 2X a week any longer, but I know it would be better for him.

I found out yesterday that I'll be going to Kansas City in about 2 weeks for a 2 day meeting.

Anyway....that's kind of it for right now.

Georgia


Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
Good Morning folks -

Our Bible study last night was really, really enjoyable. We looked at different folks in the Bible who had gone through hard times and how that had changed them. To personalize it, we discussed our choice of whether our circumstances will produce bitterness or growth. Everyone there has gone through some very difficult times in their lives.

And....I have certainly discovered a wonderful recipe for Brunswick stew! I must say that it was delicious.

I talked with a guy yesterday who has a very successful pond business in a neighboring state. He is affiliated with a garden pond certifying agency and was very interested in working with me in getting me trained, educated, and equipped to get into business. His enthusiasm was contagious. There is a good chance that I will be taking some vacation time in the next month or so to work with him in installing some ponds to get some professional hands-on experience. I am excited about that.

That's it for me for now....

Georgia


Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,023
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,023
Well, how about sharing that wonderful recipe? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

The weather has been so beautiful down here in FL lately. Today is another sunny day with a high to be about 74. All the azaleas are in bloom in our area. All the trees have their new spring green leaves. I've been planting flowers, making arrangements of several different varieties in planters. I'm pleased with how they look. Here are photos:

Flowers in planter and pot

More Spring Flowers

25 yr old Son's dog, Trixie, with the flowers

I made some sprouted rye and wheat sourdough bread yesterday that came out tasty.


Married 1976
Me:BS
Him:FWS
MB Weekend March 2003
2 S's: '77 & '80, 1 D: '82
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
LOL, Trix...I never thought I'd turn into a guy who trades recipes!! Okay, but I'll have to get it from home. I'll try to have it tomorrow. It is definitely my kind of recipe, just throw it all in the crock pot and eat it 12 hours later.

Nice pictures! Those flowers are beautiful, and Trix looks like she is enjoying the temperate climate and is ready to play! My yard has turned into a stop off point for Robins. It is great to hear and see them, but they are leaving their calling cards all over my deck. Yesterday afternoon I saw Robins sitting on the rim of the vase in my pond and drinking from it. I'd like to get a picture of that.

Right now my pansies are in maximum bloom and I'm really enjoying the color from them right outside my bedroom window. I've got to get started on my Spring flower bed plantings soon.

Georgia


Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,903
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,903
Ugh, send some of that warm weather our way!!!

I haven't seen a fresh, uncut flower in MONTHS!!! I am READY to garden...but for now it's cutting wood and looking for lost mittens...


Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,023
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,023
I planted some flower bulbs I got bought at Costco. I hope they come up. I have no experience with bulbs. I like pancies too but haven't planted any yet this year. One year I put it lots of petunias in the front yard and the next day all the flowers were gone. I think they were eaten by rabbits we had in the area at the time. It was very discouraging. We have lots of racoons and possums now, I hope they don't eat flowers.

I thought you'd get a laugh about being asked for a recipe. I have a good beef stew recipe that I can prepare in the pressure cooker so it doesn't take long to make. I've been meaning to get another crock pot...I used to have one years ago. It is good that you are trying to prepare homemade foods and different recipes.

When my H was staying on the other side of Orlando he just ate out all the time. He usually just makes breakfast eggs and does some BBQing. It is interesting that there are mostly men on the sourdough newsgroup I frequent.


Married 1976
Me:BS
Him:FWS
MB Weekend March 2003
2 S's: '77 & '80, 1 D: '82
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
SHMI...You obviously need to move south! Lost mittens??

Trix, I planted tulip falls in the fall out next to my bridge. I've also never planted bulbs and I bought these on clerance from Lowe's. We'll see what comes up there.

I'll try to shoot some pictures of my pansies, they are really nice. Maybe I can catch another robin drinking from the vase and get a picture.

I kind of have mood swings on the cooking thing. I rarely enjoy eating out alone, but sometimes I just decide to treat myself to a good meal out. At other times, I just want to throw something in the microwave (Marie Callendar's pot pies are my favorite micro food) and be done with it. However, sometimes I want to be creative in the kitchen and see if I can cook something really, really good. I always get lots of compliments on my chicken cordon bleu, but I don't want to cook it everytime I have company. The stew really is good, you should try it.

Georgia


Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 2,863
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 2,863
Trix, what beautiful flowers!

Page 88 of 116 1 2 86 87 88 89 90 115 116

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 120 guests, and 52 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
annonymous, Robert Robertson, Myramillan, rufaia1231, esenlee
71,888 Registered Users
Latest Posts
20 appointments and $1000’s later…
by IrishGreen - 10/30/24 07:20 PM
Happening again
by jah - 10/29/24 11:00 AM
I grounded my wife - am I proceeding correctly?
by Mature - 10/27/24 03:05 PM
How Do I Tell Him I Don’t Love the engagement ring
by BrainHurts - 10/22/24 10:30 AM
Children
by BrainHurts - 10/19/24 04:02 PM
Can I become attracted to anyone?
by phinnino1 - 10/11/24 08:57 AM
MBRadio show discussing electric fence pers.
by phinnino1 - 10/11/24 08:55 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,614
Posts2,323,458
Members71,888
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5