Okay, I'll bore you all to tears...

Here's some photos. The 4 of the room is the closet that I've just finished today, the fireplace as it was about 1 hour ago, then without the 71 y.o. mantle, then with the one I'm installing resting in place.

Other photos are some of my favorites that I took on the way back from Ill last week.

Georgia

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/mb_georgia...m/ph//my_photos

Very nice pictures! I wish I could do that kind of thing...


Georgia I wanted to say something to you. What the Church, whiever one it is, says or condones or approves doesn't seem to me to be of that much importance IMHO for you or for anyone. This is about MARRIAGEBUILDING, doesn't matter whether you are religious or not!

By now you should know what marriagebuilding is about and you should know, as I have learned from you and all the other MBers here, both the new and the old, that it is NOT a good idea to start a relationship on shaky foundations.

For me, all I've learned about relationships and marriage since I've been here, make me all the more responsible for futur relationships, both for me and for the other person.

We are certainly VERY VERY vulnerable still, aren't we? You more than I, I think. I don't feel emotionally ready yet for anything, so I'm being very careful. I've heard the stories... I've listened.

So ultimately, what I wanted to say is that I think you are an outstanding guy, husband, father and person and that I'm sure you will find happiness again. I just wish you didn't have to keep suffering and go thru more heartaches before you find peace, and thru peace, happiness.
I'm absolutely sure you will be happy again.

Trust yourself!

I'm off on a trip tomorrow but I will try to find a way to check MB at some point!

Thank you, cc, that's very kind and I appreciate it.

Yes, I suppose "we" (at least me) are really, really vunerable.

I've bought a book that I'm going to start reading soon entitled "Recognizing Potential Mates". I can't comment on it yet as I haven't started, but it hopefully will have some good ideas in it.

And...I do agree with your comments about the church issue. Per one of my earlier arguments...the church doesn't set the standard of right and wrong.

Have a good trip tomorrow. I'm spending the next 2 days at home working on my bedroom project.

YS graduates Saturday (with his Bachelor's) so I'll be going there for his graduation.

Should be real interesting...

me
xW
xIL's
and both sets of kids / wives.

Look towards the north about 9:00 AM Saturday EDT, you may be able to see the fireworks from where you are!!

Georgia

So nobody is going to address the BIGGEST FGG betrayal?

When did you get internet connection at home, hmmm?

Geeesssh.

Might as well spill it...I can take it.

:::insert weak smile here:::

I'm thinking I just missed your post awhile back announcing you'd gotten it. So I'm fully prepared to be really embarrassed.

LA

I missed that post too! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />


FGG,

I only have to work 1 day but I'm taking another day to stay in this city and walk around. Everything is relatively near here (less than 600km) so one tends to visit for the day, do waht you have to do and come home. That means that every city ends up being the same! because you don't really get to know them.

I had to make plans of the city for work, and I found out that it has 27 Churches! so on friday I plan to go see some of them. Spend some anonymous time alone...

On saturday I'll look in your direction. Good luck. Stand proud. You deserve it. And we'll be with you. Let us know how it goes.

Good Morning all -

cc - that sounds like a wonderful day you have planned. Visiting various churches would be a cool thing to photograph. Enjoy your time alone....it can be rather therapeutic (as you know).

About the internet. I really don't remember whether or not I posted to that effect. I got it recently for 2 reasons:

1. Comcast had a deal where it's $19.95 a month for 6 months. Circuit City had a $50 gift card rebate as well.

2. With my company lap top I can log on to our network and do anything from home that I can do at work. Now that I'm the Lone Ranger at our facility, I do some work at home, some at work (just to remind folks I still work there).

If I didn't mention it...sorry. An unintentional oversight.

Off to take my car to the shop for some (hopefully) minor work. Parents bringing me back home so I can work on my room for the day.

Georgia

Georgia:

I've been wondering what you would like from MBers.

I've grown the most here..especially lately.. from hearing things that I didn't want to hear...that made me take a look at myself..to view my life from a different perspective.

I feel that you want to be handled with "kid gloves"..that if we are less than "tender" that you feel beat up.

I sense that a lot of folks go along with that because you really are nice and kind, Georgia !

However, I will tell you that I certainly have learned this about myself. I am not as GOOD or as SWEET or as NICE as I have liked to think of myself as being.

So is it true that I may get blasted by you if I am not GENTLE or NICE? If so, I can't be genuine with you, Georgia. I wouldn't want to waste your time or mine by continuing to post to you.

You see, I'm not understanding the following post. It was not from a MR. NICE GUY, Georgia, IMO.




I wouldn't mind responding to this but would it be worthwile to you for me to do so..if not..like I said before..nevermind...

This is NOT being written with animosity...working and plugging through such issues helps me to grow.

Great job on the fireplace mantle.

Oak? I thought it looks like it.

Did you do the moulding yourself?

Perhaps someday (when I figure out how) I'll post pics of a few of my projects. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Keep that sawdust flying! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Walking...

We bought this mantle in an antique store in Savannah about 15 years ago. I stripped and refinished it and we've moved it with us as we've moved. I did NONE of the work on it except for the refinishing. And, yes, it is oak.

Mimi...you ask a lot of rhetorical questions that make me think. What do I want? A good question.

As far as my response, which btw, I've apologized for the tone. However, I would like to ask that you honestly explore the substance.

Your assertion that your disdain for "the church" can some how be supported by the way "they" accepted my R with Lynn troubles me. Way back when I studied (one course) some human psychology I recall how we look for snippets to support our preconceived conclusions rather than being able to make a fair and balanced argument in our mind.

In this case, specifically, I think you are picking out nuggets wherever you can to justify your decision to stay away from church (not "the church"). I think you are subconsciously looking for ways to make your self feel better about this. I know that you've been hurt with the response of some during your FWH's days, I understand that.

As you obviously place a lot of weight on SH's opinions, I suggest you honestly think through whether or not he would support your argument in this arena. I think not.

IOW - Would he agree that the hypocrisy of "the church" warrants our abstention from corporal worship and service?

And, yes, your are right that I am WAY too sensitive. I know that. xW used to tell me that before she became a WW. Perhaps someday I will understand how to change that about me...

Georgia

Well, I don't agree with the "preconceived ideas" notion. If I had "preconceived ideas", I wouldn't be discussing this with you. There are issues that I do have "preconceived ideas" about and I am fully aware of those but this is not one. I don't even debate issues that I have a closed-mind about. I have had too much psychotherapy..to not know about my DEFENSES. Oh, My... We can talk about that whole subject later.

Thank-you. You are right on the money, though, about what this is all about. This is about ME, wanting to discuss with you something that is of concern to ME. It is not about you but you took it as being about you. Wonder if this happens in other situations. I wonder if folks think of me of being critical when I'm not trying to be....

You brought up a question that I have and I am struggling with... You said:



I do/did hold my church up to a higher standard than my workplace. I enjoy my job. Yes. But I come here to make a living...not to NOURISH MY SOUL. Maybe my religious needs are different/stronger..than some others. Plus, if folks here do not comply with the mission of this place, they are not promoted..they are sanctioned..there are workplace ethics here that we are required to follow...

I felt betrayed by my church because they were like your new church actually...giving the message of "COME YE DISCONSOLATE..I came..they weren't there...

Makes me fearful of reaching out again..fearful of being betrayed again...

Comes down to, like you say, THE CHURCH IS AN INSTITUTION..like any other INSTITUTION..just like this place here...

What's so special about it? Why do I need it?...

I'm making an extreme argument, I know..I'm playing the Devil's Advocate on purpose because I wonder what your response will be....

Wow, Mimi....big hole there you're leaving for me.

I guess the first and best argument is that it's still the N.T. church, with all of it's imperfections. It is, I believe, one of the only 2 God ordained instituations on Earth (marriage & the church). Which, by the way, God uses an analog of each when describing the other (H love your W as Christ loves the church)...(the church is the bride of Christ)..

Anyway, you get the drift.

Next point is that the church is where you will find people who have the same MISSION (Godliness) and it's the only place that has that as their mission statement. Other civic organizations are quite worthy, but their cause is significantly different. Yep...you will have to fit right in with all those other sinners, but at least the ideal goal is the same in your mind.

And, I'm sorry, but I still have to push the pre-conceived ideas theory.

Let me use a parallel that I think may help you understand where I'm coming from.

If a person is prejuidiced against a certain group of people (we'll use Mexicans as that is hot in the news right now), then when there is a headline that a Mexican immigrant commits some crime, the prejuidiced person will find this as justifiable "proof" of their belief. Note that they will be utterly blind to the millions (or however many) of others of the same nationality that have done nothing but good.

At the risk of offending you, I still think that is what you are doing. You see an example (ahay...look at those folks at Georgia's church...see...I told you so!) and you feel even more justified in your condemnation of "the church". But...do you put this on the proverbial scales in your mind and see all the good things that "the church" does? If you do...and you see that the balance tips towards the good, then why are you not RUNNING to be there?

That is the crux of my argument...(in a friendly sense)..

Georgia

Georgia:

I see your point now. You are right about this..."feel even more justified in my condemnation"....that is true...

However, I'm trying to FIND "the good"...

I get sad when I see/hear about the "I told you so" examples...

Sets me back in my STRUGGLE to FIND the GOOD...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

ETA: So what if you offend me?

Are your eyes as open to see the good as they are to see the bad???

ETA - Well...you know me.

(Took me awhile to figure out "ETA". That's "Estimate Time of Arrival" in my daily world).

Bored? Are you kidding? I loved the pictures! Why don't you ever publish one of yourself? Get Jeb to snap the shutter.

When I ripped the old mantle off of the wall last night, I found several items behind it.

One of the most interesting is a postcard of the New York skyline postmarked August 2, 1936. It is addressed to the original owners here, but I can't make out the signature of the person who wrote it.

I just talked to the son of the owners to tell him about the stuff that I found. He asked me if I could read the signature and I told him it was torn on that corner and I couldn't read it.

He said it is very likely from either Erskine Caldwell or Ty Cobb as they both used to send his Dad postcards when they traveled. He said he had a relative (aunt) that went to NY in 1939, but other than that he doesn't know of anyone who would have sent them a postcard from NY.

He said when he sees the postcard he can likely identify the handwriting.

Cool, eh?

(Bellevue, check the photo link at your own peril).

Yes, indeedy...

I'm searching now for the GOOD...

That's why I LOATHE seeing further examples of the BAD...

You brought my work, for example...

What if the head guy/woman here openly and flagrantly exhibited an action opposed to one of our mission statements?

Not picking on THE CHURCH you left..that's what you reported about the minister there..and you said you were among Christian Believers...

Bringing this back to me, I feel that we need to be able to find a church that PRACTICES WHAT IT PREACHES...

Are you saying that is not an appropriate expectation?

BTW, we are looking and actively talking about this...

Church was an important part of our lives in the past..maybe too much so..My H says maybe it was more for SOCIAL reasons than for the SPIRITUAL feeding...

I would place a lot of emphasis on what H says...I think that is probably true in the majority of cases.

However...that is NOT to be construed as defeating my earlier points...they still stand.

And...how many examples of the good have you been able to find? Let me know if you are short any examples and I'll help you....

Georgia

I will be going over to #1S/DIL's house tonight. I will be telling them about my decision and where I'm heading. I hope this will be the beginning of a turn around in that R that has been very strained.

Today's progress and I quit for the day...I'm tired.

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/mb_georgiaguy/album?.dir=/d6e6re2&.src=ph

Georgia

Well...my car's in the shop until next week.

Thank goodness for Enterprise (they'll pick you up!).

I am really nervous about my discussion with #1S/DIL tonight. I don't know how they'll receive the things I have to say, and I know that #1S has been mending his R with his Mom lately, which is good.

However, I'm afraid he sees his relationship with us as an "either / or" sort of thing. (Either me or his mom).

Georgia