Good Morning folks...

It was really nice to have much of the family (parents, aunt/uncle, #1S/DIL) to my house for lunch yesterday after church.

I put ribs and potatoes in the smoker before ss. By the time I got home the ribs were looking great. About another hour and lots of basting with my favorite sauce. Oh man...I'm making myself hungry!!

It was my mom's birthday and I think she enjoyed the attention.

#2S/DIL are closing on their new home next week. It is about 20 miles further away from here than the school where they are currently living. Their home is in the same small town as the church where he is currently serving.

He (#2S) called Friday and asked if I could help him move next Saturday. Of course I said yes, and #1S is going to be helping as well. Can there be just a glimpse of a normal life beginning to return????

And...#1S gets his Masters' degree this Friday. Big changes going on in the FGG family.

Oh...one more thing. My next door neighbors (the couple who got married after I moved in) have apparently moved. I haven't seen them in several weeks which is unusual. I peeped in their windows yesterday (am I now a peeping Georgia) and all the furniture is gone!! I am disappointed...I really liked them and enjoyed their frequent visits to my home and deck. Oh well....

Good Morning Mimi..

Georgia

Hi Georgia...nothing new with me...

Very happy these days...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Well...then...I suppose we're singing from the same song book, aren't we?

fyi...since the trip last weekend..Lisa has been leaning my direction a WHOLE LOT ;-) (Darn near gushing ADMIRATION in my direction....SO NICE...).

(If I were a better actor I'd play hard to get...but I suppose I'd fool no one!).

Georgia

I never found this to be ATTRACTIVE...

I give you permission to go ahead and DO more for her...

Provide POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT for her BEHAVIOR....

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Believe me...I think she and I are on the same page there....

Ex:

Until she had the kids move in with her (the one's I told you about) she drove a convertible. She sold it and bought a small SUV strictly due to her "obligations"....

So...when that went up in smoke (good choice of words, huh?) she couldn't wait to get back into another convertible. (I've accused her of caring more for my car than me!). When we returned from the trip last Tuesday we went car shopping and she traded her SUV for another convertible. She had "authorized" me to negotiate the deal (as I'm a MAN and all...) so I got a LOT of pleasure out of her telling me what a GREAT job I did and how PLEASED she was that I had saved her so much money....

Frosting on the cake:

She went Friday to pick up the car (w/o me) and the salesman told her that her boyfriend is a tough bargainer. She said "well...he likes to take good care of me"..

Oh man...made me a big ol' pile of mush when she told me about that.

Needless to say...things are progressing nicely.

You'll get a chuckle out of this, Georgia:

Me: "Husband, there's a bug on the wall in here."

H: "Do you need for me to come in there and kill it FOR YOU?"

Me: "Yes...(Because, of course, I couldn't possibly stand up and kill a bug crawling on the wall right beside where I was sitting...SIGH)

H: "Keep your eyes on it ( while running in FROM THE OTHER ROOM)..."Where is it...there I've killed it FOR YOU"

Me: "THANK-YOU"!!! (Oh, sweet,powerful, husband of mine tone of voice)....

Also, ironed my Shirt this morning after him saying: "Do you NEED me to HIT ON that for you?" ( I know. I'm spoiled. My H LOVES to IRON for some strange reason.)

But now, I SOOO GET THIS!!!


<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hi F.G.G.,

I understand not wanting to post photos of your work. We open ourselves up for criticism that way, not something likely to generate good feelings. If you change your mind let me know, I usually hang out on the divorced/new relationship board. I promise not to be critical.

Maybe you'll appreciate this: I teach pottery for our local community center & this Sat. was the annual fair where all those associated with the studio, except students, can sell their work. It's more of a yard sale atmosphere at times so I only bring a few good pieces. Mostly I bring seconds or just the not so exciting work.

One good piece was marked at $60, reasonable considering the work. I'd marked it down to $45 about half way through the fair, you could still see the original price. I'd made it last year & figured better to sell rather than wrap it up again. A woman comes along, admires the piece, saying how lovely, unique, detailed blah, blah. She then asks me if I'll sell it for $30! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

A fellow potter had a big, beautiful shallow dish priced at $45. A woman asked her if she'd sell it for....$5! She then says "I hope I didn't insult you." Yikes!

If nothing else the annual fair reminds me people looking for a bargin become transformed. To what I'm not quite sure...

Nams...tomorrow night is Raku night. I've got a couple of what I consider my "best to date" pieces waiting. Give me a few days and I'll post some photos of them.

Mimi....I SO much understand...I am right there EXCEPT I absolutely hate to iron!!! So boring...

It is..I must say...wonderful to be ADMIRED & RESPECTED. I am very much suspecting that she has learned me very well in very short order...but it's nice....

I treat her like a LADY...which she loves...

She treats me like a GENTLEMEN...which thrills me...

Isn't this the way it's supposed to be?

nams...to add...

I would be hard pressed to think any of my pieces would be worth more than $5!

Georgia:

PLEASE get and read the book LOVE AND RESPECT by EGGERICHS ASAP!!!

I wish that I had read this book YEARS AND YEARS AGO....

His premise: Men want to feel RESPECTED..women want to feel LOVED..

He gives SPECIFIC ADVICE which is RIGHT ON TARGET...

It is a FOCUS ON THE FAMILY BOOK..written from a BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE....

Yes..it is the way it is SUPPOSED to be...according to THE WORD...

Mimi....

I am going to order the book, I've looked at some excerpts and it seems like a good read.

Georgia

I just got through drafting my response letter to xW's attorney and doggone it if I didn't get an e-mail from xW herself while I'm sitting here!! (Looking out over my deck, I might add).

I might as well just bite the bullet and hire another attorney. This is going to get ugly. Her e-mail was very confrontational.

It's enough to drive me to drink....

I think I'll go to the Y instead...I could use a good workout.

Georgia

Does she still want more money or just the better health ins.

Why does she feel entitled to what she wants? After all, you already went through the whole DV with the settlements and division of property.

(by the way your redone rooms look nice)

Back from long walk with Jeb....way too hot for that but we both needed a walk.

More money....

I am totally confused to why Queen Bee (xW) and her worker bee (attorney) think that they are entitled to more money. A small snippet from tonights e-mail:

"The division you suggested is obviously not fair since dividing the account as of 3/31/2006 does not take into account any increase in that account to the present date."

In other words...she wants to just keep on getting half of my 401K, not just up till the date of the divorce.

The biggest dispute is over a life insurance policy loan. The issue was VERY DIRECTLY addressed by the judge...so I'm at a loss as to why there is even a question.

All I know is that it's like psychological warfare. I'm thinking of running off and joining the Peace Corps or something....

And...thanks for the comment about the room.

Georgia

Oh...to add.

I called the Chair. of the Board of the school tonight and left a message for him to call me. I've not heard back, but I'm not really ready to drop her insurance if she can get it at school.

Good Morning....

We began our small men's prayer group at church this morning (7:00 AM). Note: small refers to the group, not to the men. And...I'll be having lunch today with the pastor.

I've really been stressed over this situation with xW. It seems as though there is absolutely no way to avoid going back to court, and I wanted so very, very much to put all of this behind me and get on with life. It seems as though the entitlement of the affair has been extended to the entitement of the divorce settlement...whatever she wants is what is "fair". I will never, ever understand this. It only serves to further confirm in my own mind (as if I needed further confirmation) of the correctness of my choice to divorce her. I can't even IMAGINE thinking that "we'll give this one more try".

Georgia

Hi FGG, how was raku night? Did you get anything wonderful?

You mentioned you don't have free studio time, we don't either at the studio I teach at but we do have independents. They are people who have taken classes & know how to wedge, center & pull up consistently along with not running into to common problems they can't fix.

Independents can come almost any time they want. Does your studio have anything like that?

Yikes.
I don't have any great words of wisdom.
It would probably be a good idea to sit down with a lawyer for an hour or so and go over the whole mess. It is too bad that your former attorney is no longer available.
But it sounds like you have enough paper work to share with someone new.
Did your Ex's attorney make the statement about "not taking into account the additions to the account up to today" or is that just your Ex's words? I can't imagine how any attorney could possibly think that you would have to share half of your 401K from after the date of the D.
It sounds to me like you are being harassed, and if you do end up back in court, I would think that you could get your attorneys fees paid for, since you have tried to abide by the terms of the D and you keep getting squeezed for more.

I certainly would NOT give into her requests for even more, because it would not stop there, it would only continue.

As you may recall, I have had a couple more go-rounds with my Ex in court - as it relates to child support - so I know the frustration level. I it is likely that they start to panic with the realization that they had it good once, and blew it, and they also try to hold onto some type of relationship with us - even in this sick, twisted way.

In my own experience, each time I have gotten totally frustrated with my ex trying to squeeze me for more money, it has always helped to sit with my attorney for an hour and get the true, real, legal scoop from her. When I am left to my own imagination I can really get myself into a full blown panic attack. But talking to the professional always helps.

First...raku night last night was lots of fun..as always. We were there until about 10:30. I'm taken photos of some of my stuff (remember..you PROMISED not to laugh!). The small picture with the flower is one I did last night and I consider it to be my best to date (not saying much, eh?). I also did the little guy last night and the small red squatty whatever-you-want-to-call-it.

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/mb_georgiaguy/album?.dir=/7c89re2&.src=ph

Now..onto the other stuff.

WOF - It's nice to hear from you again. I was just thinking of you a day or so ago. I keep remembering your post-D relationship issues and how they compare to mine. Some things going on there with me but I'm not quite ready to talk about that right now, but I spent 2.5 hours with my pastor yesterday getting his input. He tries not to be "specific", but he has a way of leaving me with real food for thought that will turn into action.

Okay, on the legal stuff. The line you quote (about the 401K) is from xW's e-mail, here attorney didn't mention it.

I've written a reply to her attorney which I plan to mail tomorrow.

I addressed the actual issues and then closed with this:

I am quite sure that I have complied with ALL provisions (and intentions) of the decree and find your assertions otherwise to be somewhat puzzling. I assert that I am complying with some provisions of the decree above and beyond what is required of me, and your continued letters have encouraged and emboldened me to further investigate.

I do, however, believe it to be quite appropriate that should you persuade Ms. Georgia to file a motion for contempt of court, that I should be the one who will seek compensation for additional attorney’s fees as I assumed this to be a closed issue upon my compliance with the decree.

I regret that I was not given an opportunity to work with your office in an amicable manner, but rather each communication, be it from your office or Ms. Georgia, contains an implicit threat of legal action.

Therefore, as you are aware that I no longer have legal counsel, I believe it in my best interest that this letter concludes my communication with your office unless otherwise ordered by the court."

Georgia

EDIT - WOF..her request for more is $10K, so no..I have no intention of even entertaining the idea.

Oh...and more to nams.

No, he keeps the studio locked up and makes it clear on the fist night of "orientation" to new students that it is not available at any other time.

The next session starts in 2 weeks. My pastor has been asking me about making my home avaiable for a small group Bible study and I THINK he has Tuesday nights in mind (I've got to find out). That, coupled with the fact that only 1 of the former students is returning, I may not sign up again next session. A lot of the fun has been in getting the group together and acting silly, and now the group is kind of scattering. The new students coming in seem to be fuddy-duddies (is that how you spell that?). Anyway...we'll see.

I don't think my pottery career is over...maybe just need to look a different direction.

Georgia