2l,

I don't suppose you'd care to clarify 3pod?????

And C1,

I'm probably going to sound like a professional client - heheeee heee - but a couple of months ago I hired a personal life coach and benefitted greatly as a result of that experience. He was able to help me identify my limiting habits and bring them out of my subconscious - so I could make conscious choices instead.

I have given myself some goals to accomplish for now, but will probably go back and get some additional coaching, when I'm ready to take it to the next level.

Also, Steve Harley makes it very clear that he's a coach, not a counselor when people hire him for help. There's an enormous difference between a counseling approach vs a coaching approach!!

Counselor,

Your posts are very inspiring and modivating, while at the same time very simple. Thanks for taking time on ur vacation to reach out and Welcome!

I agree with SH.

My personal opinion: The biggest distinction between counseling and coaching is that counselors tend to TELL clients what to do, whereas coaches EVOKE/ask questions/challenge/make requests of their clients.

I use the coach approach for two reasons: 1) I do not have the background of a clinical counselor (hence the PhD now and not ten years ago) and 2) I have found coaching to be more effective in the long run, and aligned with my personal beliefs about human potential and development.

What's interesting about SH is that he uses a "rifle" approach, vs a "shotgun" approach.

It still amazes me how much rebuilding marriages after infidelity is "counter-intuitive". Dr. Harley's books offer great basic principles for having healthy relationships.

In our house we use them in all our relationships to some degree.

The beauty about coaching with SH is that he (oh, how to say this...) bends, adapts the basic MB philosophy and customizes it to your particular circumstance. So much of what I learned in coaching from him I've never seen in any of Dr. Harley's books, or mentioned on this website.

So in many cases, although he was coach - he definitely told my husband and I exactly what to do, and what not to do.

And mainly, until we were able to coach each other in our newly shared philosophy on healthy marriage practices - we weren't to coach each other at all. He had to tell me more than once, that any attempt to coach my husband would only set us back.

Now we do a pretty good job at practicing the principles we've learned, and when either one of us have slipped, at least we weren't both slipping at the same time and are able to each other out!

Absolutely! Like I said, coaching and selecting one that works for you/with you isn't about neat little boxes. Life is messy. Being human is often wrought with intricacies that we ourselves don't often foresee.

I heard it said once that when the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. I'm sure like all great professionals, SH has many and varied tools to use, depending on, as you say, your personal circumstance.