he he he... JL, I can assure you, my motives are as pure as the wind driven snow! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

FL - You don't have to do the full make-up thing if you're uncomfortable... the idea is to visually please your H because YOU want to please him... Like JL said, we guys like it when a woman dresses up for us!

...OK... I'll now leave you alone and let the beauty consultants take over from here!

HI JL, i almost missed your reply.

made me laugh with your "you don't really know men" comment. am i really that clueless?? i seriously have never thought of my H's caring much about if i dress up or not. he's always told me i look nice, but i suppose that is because he is a polite and sweet guy.

but the guy is also a photographer and very visual, so why would i not think he would like it.

ok, i'm leaving for lunch now and going shopping for an outfit.

You're scaring me now. Uni-brow and a mustache? I'm out the door, be there in 90 mins. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Seriously girl~~listen to these guys! My H gets all bummed out when I change out of my dress after church on Sundays. I'm like, "you want me to watch football, make dinner, take my sunday afternoon nap, cut the grass, etc. etc. in a dress?!!?"

If I don't have to be anywhere on a given day, I don't do my make-up, BUT I always make sure my make-up and hair are done before my H gets home from work, (a good tip from G-ma-IL years ago). Remember my wet hair story I told you a couple weeks ago? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> It matters to our H's!!

K~

You want him to say, [color:"red"]WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/color]

i'm baaackkkkkk.

AD, the unibrow was gone in sophmore year, i swear!!! ok, so the mustache, and it was not like that bad, ok, i suppose maybe it was, has been gone now for about 4 yrs!

i shopped for about 3 hrs!! that is un heard of for me, i usually HATE to shop and try to get in and out ASAP. today i told myself to just take my time and continue to think about why i am out shopping. i won't say how much i spent cuz i know there are husbands reading this!!! lets just say, my normal habit of looking at the price tag before really looking at the clothes went COMPLETELY out the door. however, the whole store did have a good sale and if you use credit card, you got a 15% discount on top if it. and i was not at Fields or anything, i was at Kohl's.

i still don't think my H cares if i do or don't get dressed up much. actually i attempted to subtly asked him right before i left and he ended up thinking i was trying to say he does not pay me enough compliments. i swear he never hears what i am trying to say, you guys are sooo difficult to communicate with!!!

luckly i figured out what he was thinking and said, i'm not trying to tell you you have done anything wrong or failed to do something right, i seriously just want to get in your head better and i'm just wondering your thoughts on women's looks, i.e. makeup, clothes, etc. at that point he was kinda thrown by the question and said he would think about it and let me know. not sure what that was about, it seems to be an easy question.

it really is true that there are some men who don't like makeup. they like the natural look. however, i can't deny, i'm sure he would enjoy to see me in nicer, more femenine clothes sometimes and i've always enjoyed doing something with my hair when i have the time. unfortunately i don't have the time all the time but tommorow i will make the time.

and AD, i swear, when we get home from church he changes immediately and if i don't, if i start getting lunch ready or just sit down, he usually says, aren't you going to change and get comfortable???

anyway, it was fun shopping, i have a lot to choose from, for example, 2 pairs of shoes; and 3 styles of hose: i got traditional, i.e. normal/boring, hose, but then i also bought some fishnet type hose, both black and beige. you guys have created a monster!!!! i can't even begin to list the clothes i got. i'll just say, i have two solid options for tommorow and some other nicer but still basically casual stuff for normal days. i'm going to have my daughter help me figure it all out and then i'll be returning some of it tommorow.

as for getting a WOW reaction (how do you do the color??), i'm not putting any expectations on his reaction. NO PRESSURE, i'm just doing this as an experiment <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

The fishnet, the fishnet!!!! Skip the boring ones. Take advantage of the fishnet while they're en vogue.

I'm a little deflated with the Kohls part, but hey better deals even if they don't send you a thank you note like Nordstroms. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

I laughed when your H said he'd think about it and let you know. I think that's very sweet. You threw him for a loop with that one! He's not used to you thinking about these things, so it was probably the furtherest thing from his mind.

You're going on a full fledged date with all the trimmings with your H, isn't it exciting?

Just have fun FL. I can already hear the lift in your "voice" and it makes me so happy for you!

[color:"purple"]About the color, just click on one of the color boxes and place whichever words you want in color within the brackets.[/color] You need to do a normal reply instead of quick reply to get the color option though. Wait...I think the color works when you preview a quick reply as well.

FL, did you try downloading Mozilla Firefox?
(I wrote a thread about it earlier.)

When it was first suggested at the old MB, I was afraid
to download it, afraid I would mess up my computer.

But I am so glad I did as I just never get logged off.
It is great not having to log in every little bit.

Glad to see you are back with us.
There are several missing.
I hope they figure it out.

It took me awhile to notice there was a place to click
on above the OLD message board...the messages there are now called 'archive read only posts'. (Or something like that.)

Love, Julie

FL,

Listen to AD, what you don't understand about men is exactly what she said to you.
That "lift" is what he will notice as well. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> If you come strutting out in your "fishnets" a nice fitting dress, and a sense of happiness with yourself, THE MAN WILL NOTICE. He may not say a thing, but HE WILL NOTICE. You will glow and a photographer will for sure notice that.

Have fun.

God Bless,

JL

HI Julie, i'm on a work computer so i don't want to download any other browser. i'll just have to deal with it, if i take some time, i will probably figure out why it is happening with IE.

JL, AD, the fishnet stockings got voted down big time by the kids. my 15yr daughter said she would not let me out of the house looking like that!!!! said they look would look good if it were not for the fact that the "goths" at school wear them. we finally asked H's opinion. big thumbs down on the fishnet stockings from him too. gave me quite a look about it. so i'm glad i asked. i do think my outfit is nice though, did not show H, did show kids, they liked it. have some things to return, but a lot is being kept too.

i still intend to do my hair up pretty and i will look good. trying not to have any expectations on his external reaction, i just want to have a nice evening. JL, like you said, even if he does not say a thing, i'll just assume the best.

Hey FL - Good for you!!! I know you and your H will have a wonderful time... Please let us know how your date turns out! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

i'm feeling a bit tense and jittery. i fear we will have a hard time keeping an active conversation going and we will end up uncomfortably quiet. I really should of taken a shower last night and put my hair in braids. when i let it dry over night in braids it always looks it's best. The curls are more controled then. guess i was feeling too tense and jittery last night too, after he went out with his friend. all i ended up getting done were the taxes.

i cooked good dinner last night since he had a late afternoon photo shoot and i was home and able to cook.(went to local butcher and got something out of ordinary as well as beans prepared a way he likes it, i know it's kinda cheating to cook that way but it makes it easier and tastier). and i even manged to wash the downstairs floors before he got home too.

he seemed a bit tense last night before he went out with his friend, so i just gave him space. i also put space between him and my son who was extremely hyper last night!! not saying he isn't always a joy, it's just that sometimes his "joy" is just harder to be around!! i got him a bit settled down by playing backgammon and then reading from the book we've recently started.

H seemed more relaxed when he got home, which was about 1am, at which point, since he wanted to drink a coke before going to bed and i was up anyway, he challanged me to a game of backgammon which ended up being 3 games.

we were both tired this morning, although i'm enough of a morning person that being tired in the morning is not so bad for me. i have a harder time at the end of the day.

i stuck around an extra hour after getting my daughter off to school in order to get my son up so H didn't have to. I even went out and got H a cup of coffee for him to have when he got up, which he did and started drinking right before son and i left.

so i really have no reason to be tense. but i am.

nor do i have any reason to be rambling like this. but you all have the choice to stop reading at any time!!

HELLO hello hello

IS ANYBODY HERE??? here?? here??

(like my echo technique??)

just bumping this up for my own ammusement. guess i am managing on my own here. trying hard to focus on getting work done as opposed to worrying about tonight. maybe more than anything i am actually kinda nerveous about not looking good.

i noticed last night, the complextion of my face is not so good these days, a bit red, kinda blotchy red. i'm thinking it is the meds. which kinda stinks, but the benefit of them win out still, so i just have to accept it and deal.

i'm putting too much pressure on myself here!!! like i said, my own worst enemy.

think we can bring the backgammon set to the restraunt with us??? do they allow games at fancy restraunts?? ok, i'm just kidding, don't worry AD! and Kohl's had a really good selection, you should go try it out sometime. i'm thinking of taking a picture of either me or us so i can send it to you. sorry, can't post it here, H does not like that idea. but AD you are alread approved.

FF, i am sure i could get clearence for you too. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> by the way i saw your pics in the photo albumn today, very nice, cute kids too!!! how are you doing today?? i'm going to go search out your email and send you a hi that way too. i've been praying for peace for you FF.

didn't knock him dead, i didn't get a wow. i did get a you look nice. there was certainly no ahem. thurs H seemed upset, i gave him space, he seemed to need it, i helped my son give him space too. when he got home thurs late after going out with a friend he seemed better. i didn't ask him about it at the time. i was just glad he seemed to be feeling better, we played some backgammon and i gave him a "prize" for winning 2 out of 3.

last night at dinner, i asked him about it. there was something up. it was regarding a C we both saw together for a few times and then it switched to IC. it was during this time and with this C that I really pushed for a divorce. it has always bothered him that this C agreed and even encouraged divorce. and he wanted more info as to why this C came to that conclusion. he wanted more info on what i was saying to the C as well as to my sister and brother as to why i was so unhappy that they all either thought i should divorce him or at the very least that having an A was ok.

whats the opposite of love?? not hate, indifference, lack of emotions. that is what i see in him sometimes, total and complete indifference. it scares the hell out of me and feels really really bad.

he said last night how his only choice back then (back then being pre-2001, as in the years preceeding 2001) was to sit back and wait and hope that someday i would start caring about him. he felt i did not care about him at all.

here's the thing that is bothering me so much. yes, i could commit adultery. but never could i ever get comfortable in a marriage of no emotions. he would never commit adultery, of this i am sure. but he can somewhat comfortably live together with no emotions between us.

which is worse?? that is a serious question that i am curious to know. i'm not saying it sarcastically like i believe what he can do is worse than adultery. but truthfully i'm not convinced that adultery is worse.

karen <-- very confused girl this morning.

Hi FL! Sorry to hear about your confusion. Let me just say that I can totally relate to your H's indifference b/c I went through it not that long ago toward my H. I had found out that he tried to make C w/OW back in January & after I found out, I really didn't care if the M survived or not. I was indifferent. But it was a stage that I had to go through. Now, we're getting things back in order AGAIN & my love for him is building back up again.

It's indeed a rollercoaster & sometimes you have to just keep hanging on. HOw long has he been acting this way?

thats just it Y. H was like that for YEARS prior to 2001. He himself said he became indifferent and become comfortable being that way.

Then it's up to you to move him off of his comfortable perch.

I posted more to you in Idiotville. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

HOW???? that is the million $ question. Certainly do not want to do what i did last time. which was give up myself and get what i need elsewhere. that certainly was a horrible path!!!

i also posted more to you in i'ville.

are you trying to make me even more confused by posting in both places???? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> (i have to get my smile somehow)

How?

Tools are a start!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

And it's Idiotville!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

i like i'ville!!