He uses love, lies , and gifts to get us to do what he wants.why is it im only now realizing this? why not 10 years ago? I could have saved myself a lot of heartbreak. Why cant I leave? I dont know whats holding me back. He couldnt trap me anymore with pretty words and gifts so he moves me & dd to the other side of the city, makes me quit my job & leave everything behind. I really wish I would have figured this all out earlier. I wonder bdoes he even love anyone but himself?
Sweetheart, I think you already
know what to do, it is the doing that is the rough part! (((((shelly))))
What you describe is a situation of an emotionally abusive H. I have seen this way too often, and I am sorry to have to say it to you. Your H makes himself indespensible to you becasue he is so insecure he believes this is the
only way to keep you.
He used this technique w/ the OW also. It is sad that she was caught in this at all (and I am not one to given
any sympathy to OW!!) But it is obvious that this OW was a sad, emotionally immature person.
Why did you not see it 10 yrs ago?! Let's see, you were 20 with a toddler, right?! Still very young yourself. Goodness, how many of us have looked back at things we did in our teens & 20s and wonder "WTH?!" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />
I was 18 when H & I M'd... do not regret it, it was in the "grand plan" of my life...still, wish there were things *I*
had done to make the life better or more stable. maybe would have saved myself alot of heartache now!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I was still naive enough to believe that our love was enough to conquer everything! <sigh> Would have been nice to actually
compete the "pro-active" MC /IC we were doing. Should have waited longer to have our first child...
Woulda, coulda, shoulda...didn't. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> YOU cannot go back, so stop beating yourself up over something you cannot change!
Go to your Mom's w/ peace and get some quiet to think... You do not deserve what you are getting...you have to find a place within yourself where you feel safe, and I do not believe you are there right now.
I am really just "getting it" now, myself, and I am 3 months post d-day (can be a slow learner! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> )
Give yorself the kudos you deserve! You can,
and will, survive this!
