Godspeed, Sleepless. I'll say a prayer for you.

The police just called. WW has DS. They're both OK. But for now it's a civil matter for family court. I'm somewhat relieved.

Thanks for the prayers. I just got back from the lawyer's office. She's having her assistant submit the revised parenting plan to the court today. We'll also have to file another piece of paper to keep her from taking our son out of the country.

Yesterday was a big Love Buster for me! I still don't know where they are. I don't know what to say to my oldest son who was obviously in on the deception. I told him to stay out of the middle, but it looks like his mom got him involved. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Hi, Sleepless.

Your oldest should never have been involved. Regardless, he is now a part of the deception and should be regarded in the same way as your wayward wife.

If it were me, I would fulfill my legal financial obligations to him only, and let him worry about the rest. Withdraw your support. Not because he chose sides (even though he shouldn't have), but because he is no longer trustworthy.

That is my advice, others here WILL think differently. I recommend that you ask for opinions.

In my opinion, your young son is your first priority. but your oldest needs to get out on his own now.

God bless,
Gimble

My guess would be Canada-you're only an hour and a half or so from Vancouver by bus, and from there they could have flown east to Montreal or Toronto.

That was my thought too Gimble.

I'll cut off his cel phone and tell him I won't be able to keep him in the loop anymore regarding his brother. I can still help pay his bills, insurance, etc., but I'm sure his mom leveraged some guilt on him. I do need to give him a brief explanation. I'll use E-Mail since he's not returning calls.

Not a bad guess elspeth. However, she has other resources available to her that would allow her to get to Europe in short order. I think she's still local and working with a lawyer now.

So now it's really ugly. My wife abducted my DS8 yesterday, she hired a lawyer last week. Because this morning, she filed a restraining order against ME. She called me tonight to tell me she's taking my son to Paris, and she knows I've hired an attorney, and she uses it against me! She absconds with our son, and I have no recourse!!!! There is absolutely NO benefit in being nice to a wayward spouse. I asked to talk to our son, and she said her lawyer said she shouldn't!!! I can't believe this.

My son is in jeopardy from my depressed wife and she has a lawyer assisting in this insanity!!!

That's not just ugly, that's butt ugly!! What grounds could she possibly have for a restraining order? I don't have much legal knowledge, but isn't there something your lawyer can do? It just doesn't seem right that she could get away with this!

Sorry I don't have any helpful advice!

By the way, I am preparing a letter for all of our friends inside and outside of our workplace to explain what's happening. Is that OK at this point? I'm preparing the response before I send it.

I'm depressed because I let my son go off with an alien!!!

Hi, Sleepless.

I agree with Pebbles. Either your wife and lawyer know something about the system that your lawyer doesn't, or they are in a heap of trouble for filing false claims with the court.

The full picture is missing here.

Calm down and face this thing head on, Sleepless. You really need to get your head screwed on straight right NOW. Dump the beer, and stay off the sauce until you know exactly what you are facing. Alcohol consumption never solves anything.

God bless,
Gimble

Edited to remove questions.

Sleepless.

Quote:
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By the way, I am preparing a letter for all of our friends inside and outside of our workplace to explain what's happening. Is that OK at this point?
===============================

NO. Don't send anything or say anything until you have talked at length with your lawyer. That goes for this bulletin board as well.

Don't answer my previous post.

Make sure that you understand your rights and that you and your lawyer have a plan of action. You stick with that plan.

I will pray for you and your family, and I am sure that others here will as well. Please report back ONLY that which you and lawyer have determined is safe.

God bless,
Gimble

I will pray for you and your family, too. Sleepless, be careful! I think Gimble's suggestion is wise. Don't give her any ammunition that could be turned around to use against you.

sleeples do you still have your emails in which she says she is going to commit suicide? if so print them out and give them to your lawyer....they might come in handy....she wants to play harball fine....use what ever you have.

SIS,

Don't remember whether I have posted to you before, but I have followed your situation from the outset. In following your situation, something has been striking me here that you should bring to the attention of your attorney...your 38 year old wife is having an affair with a man-child. He is 19 years old - this does not reflect well on her emotional stability...having an affair with someone half her age and the same age (almost) as her son. I realize that spring/winter (okay in her case spring/autumn) relationships have been around forever and are usually older men and younger woman, but this one is WAY off kilter - he's barely an adult. Depending on how long this relationship has existed (I can't remember from your previous posts and also depends on whether our WW is telling the truth) this could have been going on while he was a minor. Think Mary Kay LeTorneau... I am slightly older than your wife and wouldn't even dream of this in my wildest imagination - it would be like sleeping with my nephew (my son is only 3.5) who is 20 - yuk!!!! And not because he isn't a very attractive, fine young man and my nephew but because for gosh sake he's only 20!!!! IMO your attorney should be making great hay of this including the fact that she was so desperate to see him that, when his airline ticket was cancelled, she spent $1500 so he could get there soonest.

Put your thinking cap on, now, what else could be used against her? How about the amount she travels for her job? If you don't travel much for work but she does, that would go to show stability. Also, surviving in his wake is absolutely correct, her threats of suicide are great ammunition.

Ask your attorney if there is someway to get access to her counseling records...those could provide great fodder. I will say, though, that those types of records are usually off limits evidentiary wise...

Be careful about how you respond to DS18 - he could be a great witness in any hearing....talk to your attorney about this.

Also, too, how did your WW find out you were planning to keep DS8 here in the States? Could she be reading here and have seen it?

Last thing for now - did your attorney beat her's to the courthouse relative to the custody issue? I know she got there on the RO, but that requires a hearing at some point...when is that? Ask your attorney about an emergency hearing before a judge re: both.....

Take off the kid gloves - this is no longer about saving your marriage - its about protecting your son - its time to come out fighting...

Regards,

Brit's Brat/BS-44
XH-45
DS-3.5
Status: Divorce final May 17,2004. Moving on with life....

By the way - do NOT send any letters without your attorney's whole-hearted agreement and consent. Make sure he reviews them first....That being said, I have gathered from your posts that your WW works for the gov't in a diplmatic position. Does she have security clearance? Does the gov't know about her eratic behavior? More to talk to your attorney about....

BB

Does your child want to live with you? If so, he needs to be given an oppotunity to tell the judge. At that age unless a parent is unfit the court usually will respect the wishes of the child.

Explain "reverse babble" to your atty. You used it in some convos and if WW was recording it could be easily presented as something it wasn't.

I'm thinking of you and praying for you, Sleepless. When it's safe, please let us know how you're doing.

Sleepless, be careful about posting here. Spoken from experience.

I'm so sorry, fella. I think about you all the time.

GC