<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> Winnie the pooh tie...*snickers* how cute...you really are an old softoe *poke*...anyways good luck today SIS....hope she gets the swift kick in the [censored] she deserves and you get your son back where he belongs in his stable loving home. *hugs*

As I am riding around on MY(now)John Deere tractor mowing my beautiful property,I will also be thinking of you and hope all goes as well as it should be.

I'm getting pretty handy with the chainsaw and hedge trimmer too! Our capabilities are endless~

O

Hey folks! Here's the situation. The judge was let's say, Whoopi Goldberg with brains. She didn't take any crap. I liked her.

The restraining order is gone. DS8 stays in Europe until the end of this school year (4 weeks left). I had no problem with that. Where he goes next year is up to an assessment by the Family Assessment evaluator. Which means I have to help pay for someone to fly to Europe in the next few weeks!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Her domestic violence tendencies will come out in the evaluation. I have more people who have actually witnessed her violent behavior that have come forward, so I feel good about the professional making a good decision. All I want is DS8 with me until she can show she can control her temper.

I can now call and actually visit him again! I'll go get him before the 4th of July.

Her lawyer was still going on about me hiding him from her. The evidence clearly shows she KNEW where our son was on the first event. Her lawyer spoke clearly, but I still don't think she gets how serious this could be for WW. She talked about holding me in contempt of the restraining order because I put out an E-Mail to some of our friends at the FAA that was the truth as supported by documentation.

I've got to get to work!

More later... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Hey there SNS,

Sounds like a good first pass.SUPER! I for one,can breathe a bit easier knowing that a few things got accomplished in your favor.Prayers do work!

TTFN

O

Score one for the good guys! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I'm so happy for you that you can call and visit your son. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> What great news!

I think the Winnie the Pooh tie was working for you, Sleepless. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Along with the truth, and all the prayers and good wishes here, of course.

Thanks O-girl and Pebbles. I told my lawyer today that I would like to believe that taking the high road will benefit me in the future, but more importantly my sons. I'm doing all of this to demonstrate their mother's behavior is wrong and that it has consequences. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

God, let there be consequences.... Amen. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

OK. The parenting evaluation starts ASAP with someone getting a trip to PARIS!!! Fortunately the costs are split based on our salaries, which means WW pays about 66%.

Now as Plan B goes. Lawyers want me to play nice, but that doesn't mean I have to talk in detail to WW. Here's the scenario. Without the restraining order, I can visit and talk to DS8. There's no WAY I'm staying in her apartment.

I think I'll ask that the new nanny bring him to me for a visit while I'm at a hotel in Paris. When I bring DS8 home, I think I'll even splurge for First Class seats. (It's only an extra $100) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Since she started the Plan B. Is there really an effective road for me to take for recovery at this point, or do I just write the whole marriage off ?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Hi, Sleepless.

Quote:
=========================
God, let there be consequences.... Amen
=========================

Amen.

I agree that you shouldn't stay with her while you are there.

Whatever you decide to do, your choices and actions must be steered by integrity. The way you teach honesty to your boys is by demonstrating it.

As for the plan you take, you can't really start one until you have your son safe, and a legally enforceable visitation/custody plan in place. At that time, I think that Plan B would be appropriate. Only you will be able to determine if her actions are a 'deal breaker' or not. I would wait until then to decide.

I do NOT think that Plan A is appropriate right now. That doesn't mean that you get to treat her just any old way. I suggest that you simply treat her with basic respect, and that at a far arms length, and that you do NOT trust her in any shape form or manner for the foreseeable future.

In my opinion, your wife has engaged in criminal behavior regarding your son. Others here may have a different opinion.

God bless,
Gimble

Sleepless 1 WW 0

I like that score...but who'se counting? I'm glad you came out on top this time. It sounds like the judge might respect a man standing up for his family. Love, love,love the Whoopi reference (thanks for the visual)

You'll remain in my prayers

Sleepless, the high road will always end up benefitting you. No matter what happens or who you end up with, you have to live with yourself. In addition to showing your boys their mother's behavior is wrong, you'll be showing them how a man of integrity behaves - a more valuable lesson for them, in my opinion.

Paris! Oooh, do get the First Class seats! As someone who doesn't have an extra penny to her name (thanks to WH) and won't get out of Central California this summer, I want to hear every detail. I hope you and your son have a great time.

SiS- first post to you, been keeping track of your dillema.

So happy to hear the court's decision. I have a good feeling about this. And do indeed spring for first class if its just a hundred bucks extra. You will be glad you did!

I took WW on one of our first dates to Paso Robles for the wine festival in 1994 and stayed in Morro Bay. It's simply a beautiful place to be!

Don't worry. When this is over, we'll all be broke, thanks to my WW <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I spent the evening with a few folks who had similar dilemnas. Their WW got the kids. 20 years later, the kids realized that dad had integrity and his stepdad was a loser. I hope I don't have to wait that long.

Possible though. Blech. SiS, like I told my mother the other day... let your goodness be its own reward.

GC

SiS,

Happy to hear that court went well. I bet your kids already know how great you are!

Cat

Sorry if I missed this. I know WW has firmly placed the family in Plan B, but are you looking for a possible recovery, or a definietely the M is over scenario. If you still have a shred of hope for the M, it would be ideal to hand her a Plan B letter when you visit...sort of a terms of engagement type letter, and that you still have hope, and to show her what a path back would be like (snarls, traps, tendrils, and all). Check it out with your lawyer, and post it here... Definitely a high road action...

So so glad for you sleepless ...lot ahead though... and unfortunately she appears not to be above bending/breaking the rules to suit herself ... so gimble is right,,, cant trust her while she is a ww and perhaps not living near you or back with you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
A good first win though I suspect there will be no winners as such, except your kids are likely to see in the long run hat there are consequences to your actions and you cannot avoid the results of your actions for ever.
I cannot but wonder how she is not removed from a foreign post while going out with a foriegn national in an affair ...surely they would see the potential risk - even if its only embarrassment - as well as it being as I understand it against US policy/guidelines ..they seem to enforce it elsewhere in the world...even in Australia.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Regardless I wish you well and one day a very very humble remorseful wife who wants to fight for her family again. As we say in OZ 'it aint over till the fat lady sings' !!

AW (H is safe & been ordered home woo hoo!!!) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Still hope? I talked about that last night. I'll leave the option open, but she has some big hurdles to overcome. Right now, that's not my focus. I'll write up a Plan B letter for my lawyer to review, and continue to take the high road. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Hi SiS,

I saw on Pebbles' thread that you tried to get in touch with your 18-yo. Any luck?

Cat

You are very astute. Unfortunately her lawyer and my lawyer don't get it. My lawyer said calmly, "we don't want her to lose her job." We don't control that. If my WW continues to spout lies about me that I have to respond to, the U.S. Government will find out. The lawyers are living in the state of Washington legal system. But the U.S. government / FBI will pull her security clearance and send her home if this keeps up. Her lawyer wanted to hold me in contempt of court for responding to our friends in the U.S. government. If her lawyer exposes the truth to the U.S. government, it will put WW job in jeopardy by having her security clearance yanked!! I don't think WW is getting very good advice. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />



Hey. We say that here too. She's not even warming up her pipes yet! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

With the upcoming Parenting Evaluation, I'm having a hard time deciding who I want to testify for me. I have too many good choices!

Sleepless

Hey Cat. No notes or calls yet. I know he's in turmoil wherever he is.

[color:"blue"] Hey DS18. Finals are over. How do you feel? Did they go all right?

Did you make lots of money (working over the weekend)?

I've tried to get several adult friends to call you and talk to you. Since you're not returning the calls to the Friends 1, the Friends 2, Friend 3 and Friend 4, would you like me to get you a counseling session up here?

There are a lot of people worried about you. LIKE ME!

The judge removed the restraining order and is sending DS8 back to Seattle for the summer. A parenting evaluator will fly to Paris and visit Queen Anne to determine where DS8 will go to school in the Fall.

Having said that, I don't know what your plans are now. I know you're in a tough spot. How do you tell mom you won't sign an affidavit for her. But at some point, you need to say, mom, I don't think that's right. Like you told her when you didn't walk DS8 up to Starbucks for her to grab him. You and I have similar problems. We have been "enabling" mom's behavior. I finally had to say no. You've gone too far. When you tell mom no, she gets really angry, calls you names, threatens you and sometimes hits. It's natural not to want to experience that from your mom or wife. But at some point we need to say. That's not OK.

All children pick up habits from their parents.... good and bad. Look at me, I'm lecturing like my mom. YUCK. Mom (WW) never learned how to control her temper. Society tends to let women get away with that. I do NOT want you and DS8 to think it's OK to hit your wife. I do NOT want you two to think it's OK to have an affair on your wife. I do not want you to have a divorced family for your kids. I can't help mom, but I can help you.

Mom clearly lied in her affidavit to the court and I was able to prove it with her own E-Mail messages. The false statements did not hurt me. It hurt that mom manipulated you into doing it. I was able to protect myself. I have a short list of people who have seen mom explode and even hit me.

I want custody of DS8 until mom can get some counseling and address her problems (anger and depression). Mom doesn't know what's best for DS8. She's only concerned about her needs. If she worried about what was best for you two, she wouldn't have moved to Paris. I thought it would make her happy, so I only resisted a little. It didn't make mom happy.

Right now I'm worried about you. I told you before you will always be my son. Calling me your 'Stepfather' in your affidavit hurt a little bit! It's time to suck it up, and give me a call. We need to talk about some things to see what we're going to do now.

If you want a ticket to (Europe), I need money from mom. She's not paying her share of the expenses now (Mustang paint and parts, Truck repair, house insurance, etc), and I can't afford to spend that kind of money.

By the way. Everyone at the canoe trip wishes you had come. They hope you're doing OK too.

Love Dad! [/color]

How did I do.