Hi, Sleepless. If you really want to know what I think... Well, I don't know about your WW, but having followed your story from the beginning, I think YOU are going to do just fine, no matter what happens. You have come so far. You sound so much stronger and so much more focused now. You have been a true hero for your sons, even if the older one doesn't appreciate it yet, and I admire you for protecting your younger son the way you have. So, in other words, if your WW doesn't come around, it's her loss!

I think it's great that you have such a strong faith in God. My faith has been a bit shaken lately, but I'm trying to hang in there. You've been a good example for me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

P.S. Have a great time at the Michigan Dunes. Sounds like fun!

SnS,

Just putting my stamp on this thread so I can prove that I read it.

What a circus you live in!

I wish you the best. I have no advice, but it seems you know what you're doing anyway.

-AD

chicago T_T Take me with you ! *cries*.....about the WW thing.....seriously I would tell her she needed to seek out serious IC before you both tried any sort of MC. And it would depend on her hard work.But then again I am the hopeful type kind of.
Now that chase thing....how bad was your credit? because
thats something I could use.

BTW...i did a boo boo... I told STBXWSH today....but I was sick of his childish rants.

Thanks AD <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> I think I mentioned my cousin is an Editor at a large publishing company. I still say I have a book here. You mean you guys don't have the same bizarre things going on? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> GOOOD!

If I seem to know what I'm doing, it's a combination of God's guidance, smoke and mirrors.

Hey Pebbles!



Thanks again. I look forward to my next relationship with whoever she is. Yep.... still like girls <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />



I was kind of shaky too when after discovering an affair, having emergency eye surgery, WW filing for divorce, having son abducted and a restraining order slapped on me, and then for fun, getting into a rollover accident and making the evening news. I found myself pacing the empty highway and saying, "God, am I on candid camera?? What's next Lord.. no wait, don't tell me, I want it to be a surprise."

My eye is 20/25 (Hey I'm 40!), my son is here with me, My truck is driving again with a door and fender from the junkyard. It gets better everyday. To top it all off, DS8 informed me that today, he went to the park and watched the Blue Angels practice for their big show this weekend. Have faith that things get better in His time. Watch for the miracles around you. Realize there are people so much worse off than us. Put your trials in perspective. It all helps.

May the Lord Bless and keep you and your children. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Pack your bags... Let's go! You but first round. I discovered on my last visit that Leinenkugels came out with a Cream Porter. VERY GOOD.


Oh we are on the same page there. I want WW in IC before she spends much time with DS8! She'll need to look like a Stepford wife when she's done.

Unfortunately, my credit was not that bad. Call them anyway. Tell them your friend told you about the Disneycard rollover with zero interest until July 2006, and see what they give you. (800) 300-8575. The other option is if you belong to a credit union, they may be able to help. Is STBXWH still not paying on the rent for this month? What did the landlord say?



Don't sweat it... you'll have more boo boos. Just in the larger scheme of things, try not to do it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
I did better than that. When WW tried to argue about how this started, I just hung up. I don't have to listen to her re-write history.

I wish with my debt right now....I wish I could be there...I miss my sweetie... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />



STBXWH had control of my credit cards for awhile so my credit isn't good.....Well the landlord will work with me to help me have good time to move out...he's very disappointed with STBXWH and thinks he's gonna get it in the end. But I am moving home with my parents....so i can save up money. I am looking forward to going to school in WI...but I need to save up for the move.


hehe....go read my thread...and see. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Hi, Sleepless.


Quote:
=============================
I really don't expect WW to come around. She's too stubborn. I'm not sure I would know what to do if she did. Milkshake? Pebbles? What do you guys think???
=============================

I think that I don't know. Regardless, I pray for your marriage everyday, specifically that God will bust your wife's entitlement, and that she will lose her job, and return home, ready to work on the marriage.

In my mind, until she loses her persona of strength in the form of her 'fall back' ("I am somebody, look at my job"), she will not face her problems.

You asked :-)

God bless,
Gimble

Well you didn't ask me so I'll give 3 cents worth. LOL!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Me thinks you need to distance yourself from the WS and be on the look out for signs of your W. If you don't see her, then keep busy as you have been. From what I have read, you have been through a lot but like the man Job, it appeared he lost all but was blessed with more than double for staying faithful.

At least that's an example that can be encouraging to us when the world tries to hurl us a wad of babble and spit.

Enjoy your trip. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Aloha,
L.

bump this one too <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I kinda think the same thing Gimble. She is focused on her needs, and not his needs <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

So, how was Chicago and your family? I've been stuck here in 106-degree weather and I need details of fun at the Dunes. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I can't say whether she will turn around or not. If your WW is not turning around simply because she is stubborn, though, then that would not last too long or by the time she comes back, maybe you are gone. But if she DID, control your anger....

How was your weekend in Chicago? It was a beautiful one, wasn't it? I have to start planning on DS2's birthday party as well. He deserves some fun!!

It was GREAT!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> Mom and dad picked us up at the airport and drove straight over. We slept in, played at the pool first, then had lunch and headed for the cottages. Changed into beach garb and headed down to the lake.

Beach Site

I took DS8 with his two younger cousins 6 and 3 out in a little rubber raft and played in the water for about 2 hours. They practiced jumping in and out of the raft while I threw them into the waves and then back into the boat. Who needs a gym membership?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> It sucks getting old! My calves are still sore from running in and out of the tide and up and down the sand. My BIL (sister's hubby) went wind surfing. I've been voted the world's best uncle <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />!

At about 6:00 we headed back to my sister's little cottage. Walk to Beach

We ordered pizza's and salad from a local restaurant and picked up locally hand made ice cream.

My sister's family's cottage was built in the early 1930s. VERY small. 8x15 screen porch to the left, 12 x 15 family room in the middle and a 8x15 space with a kitchen and bathroom. Very cute.

The dimensions are important because My sister and her family (husband and three kids) stay there, but DS8 also wanted to stay there..... with me. SO we call crammed in. DS8 and I on the screen porch, sister and family in family room. (Grandma and Grandpa stayed at a nearby motel) It was out in the woods so we could listen to the locusts chirping and see fire flys. We talked about how it was like camping and that playing on the beach is fun. In the morning, grandma and grandpa came back to the cottage with fresh pastries and coffee.

We headed out at lunch to head back to my sister's house for an early celebration of DS8's birthday with cake and presents... Legos!

We just flew home two hours ago. DS8 is in bed. I'm getting there! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />


STBXWW called twice over the weekend. Once on our walk through the woods that kind of disturbed DS8. He started saying afterward that he would be spending his real birthday in Europe and then be back in two years. This was kind of a 180 degree change from where he had been. I told him earlier today that he wouldn't get to pick if he would go back to Europe or not, so it was hard to say where his birthday would be. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

It was a GREAT weekend punctuated by some small strains. We shared so much fun together. WW is just missing out.... and I think she will continue to miss out. I can't help her with that.

Life goes on. I wonder how S18 is doing. I hope he's OK too, and doesn't crash too hard when he sees what's happening. Maybe he'll get a reality check now that he's out of Europe.

Hey Milkshake. I wrote all over your post earlier.



Is my anger showing? I hope it's subsided some. I don't show it around DS8 at all. If she comes back with at least a little humility... I could do it. But her head needs to be hanging a little asking for forgiveness.

SnS,

Glad to hear you and your son had a good time. Sounds like a fun place. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

WS' miss out on a lot don't they? The sad part is reality bites and this time with your son, she can never recapture or make up for all the damage. At best she can improve on your future but that would require she shed the WS' title.

'til then, hugz to you and your children. As a BS, you will survive, getting stronger and better. As a WS' there's nothing to get better, WS' future is all downhill as long as she keeps that title.

Don't settle for little changes, set your goals for the right changes. All of it!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

take care,
L.

hey you....do you and DS want to take a road trip? come down and see us...DS's birthday will be a blast...I don't know if pebs will be there she hasn't responded much lately. lemme know if you guys wanna head down.

Sounds like you had a blast. I can see you are getting stronger!

Orchid. I'm not going to settle any more. I've tried the incremental improvements over the last 5 years, and she didn't bite. The painful lessons have started. And she needs to realize.. on her own.. that everything that has happened has been because of her actions. Now, she'll tell me that she's feeling much better now that things are getting settled and I'm not trying to reconcile anymore. I'm afraid she can never understand what love is, unless she asks God for a demonstration and sees it for herself. I showed her for 10 years, unconditionally. Her parents ruined her, I won't let her ruin our boys. They should not live through the pain and loneliness she must feel.

If she comes back, she will apologize to my family for her isolation of them. She will learn to enjoy life and have fun. She will learn to give happily with no strings. She will learn to receive and give love unconditionally. She will love and honor me as the faithful and loving husband/father that I am. I'm just getting warmed up but I think you get the point.

The only hope I see is that she KNOWS she has problems. She feels better now because she's in control of her own little world and doesn't have to worry about "getting hurt". There is nothing happy about that.

What I don't get sometimes is that they can brainwash prisoners of war into believing things that aren't true. Parents can cause incredible damage to self esteem, and self worth by their constant degradation and ridicule.... shouldn't there be a way to reverse it? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

It's just the engineer in my looking for the action reaction / cause and effect. Sorry.... geekiness showing. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

What's the date and time? We've been on a BUNCH of road trips. What's one more. Our schedule is like this. WW comes into town this weekend to see DS8 for four days. She gets in at 4 on Saturday and keeps him until Thursday morning when we have the court date.

In other words, if it's not this weekend, we've got a shot at making it. What's your closest airport too??

If I come, I'm bringing the swords <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

BTW. I get the idea Pebs is out of internet reach. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />