"I can't believe that Sleepless hasn't been arrested and put in jail so I can get my son back! My lawyer hasn't done me much good, so I have to take matters into my own hands.
What to do? Hmmmm! I know! I'll let him know that if he wants to have a straightforward conversation about the next steps to take in the best interest of DS, he can call or email me. I'll make sure we meet somewhere private so I can seduce him. THEN, since I'll have the DNA evidence, I'll knock a few bruises onto myself, and scream "RAPE!", again. That should fix him up so I can get DS again!
If I can't seduce him, I'll just tear my clothes, bruise myself up, and scream, "Attempted rape!"

Wow!  I always like it when the parties talk; however, I don't trust this woman.  I don't want you to be alone with her.  I would want to know what she has in mind.  Ask her in an e-mail.  If you talk, tell her you want to record it and get her permission so that you both will have a record.  Do not talk about her criminal allegations, because you do not want a written record of anything you say.  That is critically important.  The other possibility is to "talk" by e-mail.  But I think that you need to sound her out first.  Finally, we could set you two up with a mediator so that you can talk when she is in town in a safe setting.
 
The Lawyer for Sleepless.

Hey Aussie's Wife. I'm sure that was painful! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

That's why I replied to her E-Mail today stating "there's not a lot of trust between us right now." WHOA! That's an understatement!

OK now, who wants more Alien babble posted on the bulletin board? I don't want to bore any of you. It's just STBXW's perspective on the whole thing. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I know Orchid won't be able to resist!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

SleeplessnSeattle,
 
I did get your message, but was sick yesterday and didn't have email access at home. I hoped that we could have gotten together to talk or at least schedule a time to do so when I was back.  I just want to know realistically what you define as "success" in this process. I need to know if you feel we need to continue in this manner or if we can try to come to some agreement so that DS9 can have some stablity.  I am concerned about him.
 
(My lawyer) contacted (your lawyer) about the GAL (Guardian Ad Litem) last week, but they are still working on names. The impression that (My Lawyer) passed on to me, was that (Your Lawyer) is not concerned about controling expenses and seems driven to going to trial on our case no matter what it costs.  When (My Lawyer) tries to control costs, (Your Lawyer) says that divorces are expensive an that we have assets. If she keeps us in a confrontational mode she gains financially from it and what is the point. (She sounds a little like a 10 year old on a temper tantrum <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />) We only have so much to divide up. My lawyer indicated that if we go to trial on this, the amount we have each spent will double and possibly triple.  I don't doubt it, but I wonder how necessary it is.

(Your Lawyer) doesn't appear to have any interest in compromise or cost savings and seems prepared to litigate everything.  This is reflected in the GAL and the costs for the ones she likes versus the ones that (My Lawyer) has suggested. There is also mediation (we are required to to to a settlement conference or mediation). She wants to go to private mediation, which doesn't seem necessary, since it is offered free through the court.  Also, (My Lawyer)has been trying to meet deadlines per the case schedule, but (Your Lawyer) has completely ignored it with the interrogatories, leading us to make a motion, which costs us both extra money.  The actions that I have had to take each time resulted from (Your Lawyer) appearing to "run out the clock" for me in deciding to file a motion or wait for compromise from her, most of which never come or is so unreasonable, they lead us to the litigation.  Is it really your idea to litigate every time I want to see DS9? (No, I didn't want to litigate the last time!) Do you really expect me not ot try and see him when I can? Is this her strategy or yours? 

You told me before that you would be receptive to us coming to some sort of property settlement, but I don't get that sense from your lawyer. I know that you already have the appraisals for all 3 properties, based on that we should be able to come to some agreement before having to go to trial, if at all.  I just know that this isn't any good for DS9 since he keeps thinking things might change and that he will be able to come and live with me. (Are you sure that's not you??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />)  I don't want to lead him on since I don't see you wanting to do anything to change the situation, which you could do...(at which time I would be committed to an insane asylum...) so I want to try to come to some agreement so DS9 will begin to know what life it going to be like for him. I hope that you would put him first in your thoughts.

We had an agreement in April which would have provided DS9 with some sort of normalacy, minimizing the effects of the divorce on him. Can we try to work something out here or at least settle our property issues? I know that (Your Lawyer)has not even started on her questions for me, but I am not sure what the benefit would be since all the records are there with you related to the property.  With all this, tell me what you think you would be willing to do as the next steps.


STBXW

I am reassured to hear that you're concerned about DS9. I was concerned when you objected to him speaking with a child counselor and rejected my request that you should speak with his counselor, that you were not really thinking about DS9. I was personally glad to hear you had him speak with a counselor in Paris. the counselor in Seattle has helped DS9 a lot. I know DS9 is my primary concern.

Yes, divorces can be expensive. I know I mentioned that when this started. I think you'll find that my lawyer will be perfectly happy to have this settled between us. I thought that's what we were going to do in September, but since then I've been spending a lot of hours responding to Your Lawyer.

If you really want to come to an agreement, without a lot of legal fees that would be great. Once the divorce is settled, we won't need a GAL anymore either. But the GAL is there to protect Detlef's best interest. I just don't want another lawyer involved. I want the GAL to have some psychologist background.

You can ship all of your stuff that remains here down there if you like. The good news for you is that after the divorce, the California house can be your primary residence and if you do decide to sell in the future, you can roll the balance into another house with no tax penalties. If you agree to this quickly, we may be able to get everything refinanced before interest rates go through the roof. That would be good.

I still need about to be paid for Dr. Hedrick's ticket to Paris and half of the appraisals, which totalled $900 for all three. The Psychologist's ticket was around $1200.

Finally, I'll need you and your lawyer to propose how much child support you're going to pay.

I don't want to put too much time into this unless I have some assurance from you that you really don't want to go to court again. You changed your mind in September, and today I got Claire's latest court filing to fine me $250 for filling out her mountain of interogatories when she could have simply called and asked for them. If you think you can get her to hold off long enough from filing some other piece of paperwork, we can probably work it out.

Sleeptlessnseatte

We had an agreement in April which would have provided DS9 with some sort of normalacy, minimizing the effects of the divorce on him. Can we try to work something out here or at least settle our property issues?