Sorry for the long away time. I'm back. Court appearance was yesterday. I got the "man-hater" commisioner according to my lawyer, but she didn't seem THAT prejudice. She certainly went out of her way to aid the woman's side. In one case it seeemed warranted, but in the other, it looked like she was dumping on the husband.

On my way into the court room, STBXWW was sitting on one of the benchs outside the courtroom, I cheerfully said hi to her and her hostess (woman she's staying with), and walked into the court. Otherwise, I ignored her the whole time. Wasn't really stressed at all.
So let's review. STBXWW (Not soon enough) wants a new parenting evaluation, a psychological evaluation of me and DS9. She's also angry that I'm taking DS9 to a counselor and prejudicing his opinion. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> She thinks a new evaluation is warranted because of our poor sex life essentially. It wasn't great, but come on! That doesn't make me a bad parent. What really hurts her is that she said how wonderful I was to the parenting evaluator, but has now changed her mind since she doesn't have custody. She didn't love me, but I was a great husband.

Because of the recent developments, all I wanted was STBXWW's visits with DS9 to be supervised by a friend, for her to relinquish the SECOND passport of DS9, and to meet with DS9's counselor to review his state of mind. She thought that was too much.

The commissioner ruled, STBXWW can have visitation one weekend per month, beginning on Friday after school and returning him Sunday by 7:00 PM. No supervision, no ruling on the passport, and no requirement to meet with DS9's counselor. That's the only bad news. She did order that a Guardian Ad Litem be appointed for DS9 (advocate for DS9) which I requested.

The good news is that the judge would NOT order another parenting plan, would not order a psychological review, and would NOT do anything else STBXWW wanted. Yeah for me.

The good news is that DS9 will get to spend time with his mom, which I really wanted all along. She's pretty much supervised where she is, AND if she tries to take him out of the country again, she'll be thrown in jail for contempt. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

On my way out of the court, I saw STBXWW down a corridor with her lawyer and friend sobbing. I pitied her a little. Said a little prayer that her grief leads her to seek help and someday peace.

I'm going to spend the weekend preparing my negotiated offer for divorce. That way it will be out there. I'm also going to send the bill for about $1500. That will be fun! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I'm still going to DS9's soccer game on Saturday. He's getting a lot better. DS9 said mom doesn't want you to come. I told him I don't care what she wants, I want to watch you play soccer. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> ( I said it in a very cheerful and happy way) He wasn't upset at all and just smiled and hugged me.

The biggest bummer was that it cost me another $2000 I'm sure!

No police cars at the front door, so it's still all good. The only slightly bad news about that was that she got her sister and mother to both testify that we had sex in the middle of the night.

How many of you have awaken in the middle of the night to make love/have sex?

There are a few guys I know that are rather nervous if that's the definition of rape. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Noctural sexual practices single choice

Of course my spouse and I have made love after being asleep, in the middle of the night.... Duh! (92%, 12 Votes)

Sex in the middle of the night? How weird! (8%, 1 Votes)

Total Votes: 13 Voting on this poll ends: 10/31/05 09:31 PM

It's not about just the act. It is about the attitude, heart and mind. Not just the 'body parts'. If it were only the physical part, then anything that moves would work. YUCK!!!

The WS is warped. Musta knocked her head while exiting the mothership. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

L.

bump

Sleepless, this is all about her state of mind as Orchid said. My H used to wake me for sf in the middle of the night and believe me I never was insulted or felt violated.

Ummmm, some of us call this "fun." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Just another nutty attempt by your WW to mess with your mind (and your lawyer and your checkbook). <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Well at least if it goes to a jury, I think I'll get off!

in a legal sense. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

It sure is getting into my checkbook though. It's frustrating that a WS can file whatever charges they want, and not be affected. It costs twice as much to respond as it does to file papers. She's the one that wanted the divorce, and now she won't let me go. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I went to DS9's soccer game today and sat on the hill next to the field. STBXW kept glancing back at me as I noticed out of the corner of my eye. DS9 had a shot go off the post, and played with great enthusiasm. At the end of the game, the two of them walked away, and I stepped in to talk to the other parents.

I'll have DS9 back home tomorrow.

S19 spent the day calling me for advice on his car. Advice and help is free. He had to run get the house phone at one point because STBXW kept calling him. "She calls several times in a row... right when I'm in the middle of stuff! " I told him not to worry, and just take one challenge at a time. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Collecting divorce paperwork responses today. Woke up and realized I have an extra hour to wait for DS9 today. It might work out though since I need to build his sword for his Video Game Monster he's dressing up as. My engineer brain is developing all sorts of cool ideas.

While going through financial matters at the time of our marriage, I realized I emptied my 401K and savings to put the downpayment on our house in California which has sinced Quadrupled in value. I've been told I only get the face value, and not the present value of that money... too bad. I remember she was surprised I would do that at the time. I told her I was making an investment in our lives together and our future, so it was worth it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Ah well.

JUST so you know.... this pun ....


.... was NOT wasted <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

"I realized I emptied my 401K and savings to put the downpayment on our house in California which has sinced Quadrupled in value. I've been told I only get the face value, and not the present value of that money... too bad"

WHY???

Who told you something stupid like that?!??!?! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

L.

Snort!! I got it too (in a mental understanding sort of way, of course), but I'm glad you mentioned it first, Pep. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Well maybe I wasn't all clear. I get half of the current equity in the house PLUS the downpayment I put in.

STBXW made a great halloween costume for DS9. He was a hit at school as Necrid from the video game Soul Calibur II. I debriefed DS9.

DS9 - Dad, mom and mom's friend think you're doing mean things to mom. Mom's friend is on her side.

Me: Well, you don't hear me say bad things about mom do you? And I think it's great mom came and spent time with you. So, did you have a good time with mom?

DS9: No, it was boring. We didn't do anything fun.

ME <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> Oh, that's too bad.

DS9: Mom didn't like you coming to the game.

Me: Well I wanted to come see you play. You had some great shots.

DS9: Thanks Dad!

STBXW bought him a new phone to communicate with. He's learning to text message with mom now, which makes him READ. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />.. kind of.

I took Monday afternoon off to spend at DS9's class. I got a lot of positive attention from the mom's. I think they were surprised to see one of the dad's show up.

Last night I got an update on DS9's reading progress. He's finally reading at grade level. So that's good. STBXW also met with the director there on Friday and got a full debrief. STBXW appparently came in mad at everyone, and then left not mad at Sylvan. "She's got a lot of anger" said the director. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

STBXW is back for her second court mandated visit. I graciously let her pick him up today rather than tomorrow since she has to leave on the redeye Saturday night.

She called on Tuesday to coordinate. DS9 handed me the phone, and after two sentences, she asked, "Why are you talking to me."

"Because we're talking about DS9. OK. Goodbye" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I got the $$$$ lawyer bill from the last round of court visits. She got nothing from it but money! And apparently the commisioner we visited with would never THINK of awarding money to a nasty old man. My parent's share my trials with a retired judge (female) and her husband on their nights out together. She CANNOT understand why STBXW would not be required to hand over a passport. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

The good news is that DS9 is doing well in school. He's only stressed when mom calls, and I hear him saying, "sorry mom.... sorry mom. Yes I love you." I can imagine the guilt trips of the needy one on the other side. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

S19 is calling more often. He'll be visiting this weekend to see mom, but will be staying at the house. So that will be fun.

I'm taking off tomorrow for a little R&R, and then come home to have a get together with friends.

It sounds like Thanksgiving will be fun. Apparently my aunt has decided to bring a single young lady to dinner! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Oh good. I'm flattered, but I'm having a hard time working up any interest in a relationship with a woman right now. Boy I hope THAT passes! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

For all you men out there who can't imagine your WW going crazy.... imagine your most bizarre movie plot, and it can happen. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

Hi, Sleepless.

I see that the situation with your wife is still as bizarre as ever.

I hope you are doing well.

God bless,
Gimble

It's bizzarrer my friend! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I'm glad you're doing well. You were absent for a time. Brit's Brat has been filling me in on legal nuances and Pebbles has been a good friend to vent with when I haven't been online.

It amazes me the sense of entitlement and lack of awareness another human being can have.

BUT, I protected my sons. That means a lot.

God Bless

Sleepless

I would be pleased to speak with you about what the next steps are, but I'm afraid you won't be very receptive. You could start by apologizing to DS19, DS9 and me about your reckless and selfish behavior. You could start by meeting the condtions of Psychological evaluation from the Parenting Evaluator by seeking counseling for your anger control and other emotional problems. You could return DS9's passport so I don't have to worry about you abducting him out of the country again. You could pay me $XXXXX so that I could continue to support DS9 while you party in Europe. You could withdraw the Spousal Rape charges that were falsely filed against me and pay me back the $500 in legal fees necessary to defend myself of those charges.

Fantasy thinking is over. But I DO see an opportunity here to cut through the legal costs and have her concede to my requests for DS9...... but I'm not holding my breath.

Given that the Spousal Rape charge is still extant, I would not waste my time negotiating with her. Clearly, she is in no mood to cut you some slack when she is trying to put you being the slammer and wants to ruin your reputation and credibility for the rest of your life.

ACTIONS speak louder than WORDS. So until she withdraws those charges, you must assume that she wishes the worst for you, given the fact that she wants to have you convicted as a RAPIST. I don’t know her, but I am pissed at her and think that she is a vile person for making such an outlandish charge against her husband whom she selfishly abused by having her unsavory A.

I wish you the best and hope that in your dealings with your STBXW you realize that she’s been abducted by more than aliens at this point, she is possessed by the devil. I will keep you in my prayers.

P.s. Sorry if I seem worked up by this, I just think her charge against you—and the potential ramifications it may have on your life—is a very immoral act.

I was just thinking...kind of along the lines of what UVA said...

Watch your back, Sleepless. It could be another trick. It might be worth a call to your lawyer (I know, ka-ching $$ <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> ). Or, better yet, she can call your laywer (or have her dog-dressing-up lawyer call <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />) if she wants to talk. Wouldn't want you to get shot in the back by the mothership's ray guns.

You wanna borrow my CD of 'bite me' songs?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

just dropping by Sleepless and sad to see not much change here for you.

The latest move sounds very sus to me.. makes a heap of very dnagerous allegations then 'suddenly' wants to talk about whats best for DS9?

I winder if I can put on that old WW hat for a second..urrg nasty fit .... lets see..
****************************************************
if I get Sleepless to talk to me..
1] I can drop the hint he gives into my reasonable DEMANDS and the allegatiosn dissappear

or

2] ,,,, I can say he tried to force me into saying my charges were false..

oh goody...win win for me me me me me me me .
*********************************************************

did the world go black & white then?? yuck it felt urggg.
Think I'n going to go lay down for a while.


Sad you cant trust the most seemingly harmless comment isn't it?

Hugs [[[[[[sleepless]]]]]]

Maybe she will find her way back to herself one day..you can always pray for that. DS9 & DS18 need her as a REAL mum.

AW