If she didn't write this stuff down, you would think I was making it up! For the love of God the mother ship must be headed for Uranus because the signals have GOT to be breaking up.
Note: I apologize for the discussion of assets in this case. I recognize that not everyone has the same dilemna. I hope you will simply be amused by the ludicrous bickering that can ensue if you try to deal rationally with an irrational person. I realize that some do not have assets to negotiate over.
In the intrest of keeping some of the money from the lawyers and negotiating a compromise, I collected appraisals from licensed appraisers for our houses (3). Her reply?
First she needed to spend 3 paragraphs telling me why this was all my fault and how I had abused her. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> (I've decided eek isn't enough and we need an animation where the jaw just drops to the ground) So she's much happier now to be rid of me AND this all would have been over in July if I had just let her and DS9 go. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />
Yep... OK.
And then she explained how I was unreasonable.
I had mentioned it in our last dialogue, but wanted to make sure it was still clear here. I have used the numbers from your appraisals for the houses AT this POINT only. However, I still think the estimates for (house 1)is high given all the work that is needed, and (house 2) as well since (my friend) is looking now and says that is high, but most importantly- the fact that (our tenant)bought one in our building just a month ago for $XYZ. I can't accurately speak to (your house)since I haven't been following the real estate market there, but seems low to me. Right now I want to focus on the bigger picture things philosophically, and I may be getting appraisals as well. If they come out the same or close, then we just have double the confirmation that the division of assets will be equitable.
I think that was the whole point of the appraisals. Get unadulterated estimates. There's no negotiation.
She also deleted the value of our retirement funds from the assets and said it wasn't worth including. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
Now she also wants to estimate the value of furniture in four different locations. She just kind of rattled of her ideas about what the stuff is worth. Apparently because she doesn't like the fact she will owe me money.
I was civil! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
I started with, "Trying to lecture me is not really constructive at this point. Let's stick to the issues."
"If you don't like the house estimates, that's fine, but they were all done by licensed appraisers based on actual home sales. Getting another set of licensed appraisers to develop new estimates would come up with similar numbers and simply add cost to the exercise."
"If you want to estimate the value of the furniture for court, you'll need to hire an appraiser to fly to Europe, and three cities in the U.S. to estimate the values. I think the cost to generate those estimates might not be worth it. Let's stick to real money."
I conceded a couple of minor points but she doesn't seem to understand that she's going to lose in court. BIG TIME! The judge does NOT like her lawyer since the time she told the judge that she didn't need to consider the court appointed psychologist's opinion on what was best for DS9. No! listen to me instead! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
That was priceless. Envision a judge looking over her glasses at STBXW's council telling her, "I can make up my own mind on this matter, but thank you for the advice." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
I can't believe STBXW is paying her money!
So now I'm on hold waiting for the nutcase to respond.
We haven't even gotten to custody issues yet. Can't wait for that.
I did notice a thread in her responses though. It's still what I did to her. She cannot associate that she is responsible for her own actions and the results from those actions.
I had a party two weeks ago with all of our friends and her coworkers. They're all just great and happy to see DS9 is in a safe place. They were all shocked to hear that the judge didn't believe I could be "bosom buddies" with all of these people. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />
DS19 is calling me more often. We're even joking on the phone again. He's telling me confidentially about how mom is bugging him and acting weird... and then begged me not to say anything in court. He's doing much better. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
DS9 doesn't like to call mom too much. He misses her a lot. He misses his school in Europe too. But he's comfortable at home, and can't wait to visit his cousins in the Midwest again.
I'm trying really hard to imagine that women might be attractive to me again someday. But it's hard to work up the motivation. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
It's good to be loved and to know that someone is there for you.
God Bless.
Sleepless
