mieawe, I would suggest that she is not in a mental place where reason thrives. She is in a FOGLAND where fantasy lives and she cannot be reached right now. She is doing the classic WS thing of rewriting history in order to rationalize her affair. You can't reason with a person who is running from reality; it is a waste of time.

Instead, I would focus on 2 things: making her affair as uncomfortable as possible and protecting yourself and your children. Make sure your finances are secure from her, don't allow her to take any family money. And most importantly, DON'T ALLOW her to drag the kids into her little mess.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101