He had/has a safe haven to tell the truth, I sat through and listen to everything, discussed everything calmly. What makes me angry is when I ask a question many times, many different ways and I'm told the "truth" only to find out later that was the truth according to him.

I have every right to be angry, I am sick of being lied to. If he was doing the best he could, don't you think he'd tell the truth the first time instead of making me investigate and find the real truth? why should I cut him some slack?

I'm allowed to be bitter, I am the faithful one, he wasn't the only one alone in this marriage, when he traveled I was alone to, but I was faithful.

You all have the vision of this poor little man cowering in the corner,with his big bad wife looming over him, thats far from it.

He made the choice to end this marriage when he got involved with the OW, now I'm expected to pick up the pieces of my life and worry about how he feels? Did he think of how I would feel? no.

Not once did I say I was going to make him leave again, I said I had reservations about him coming back, he knew how I felt, I told him that. That's the difference I tell the truth about what I think and feel.

If he was truely trying wouldn't it make sense for him just to tell the truth? You all read the effort he's making, He talks a good game. All I see is his effort to maintain his lies. I don't really care how anyone views me from this I'm angry but at least I'm honest.

Yes, you have every right to be bitter, angry, upset etc. But, if you want the "truth" as you say, you may need to set those feelings aside for now.

I think he continues to change the story because he "hurt" you and doesn't wish to do it over and over again answering your questions. He's probably trying to figure a way not to have to give you the "whole" picture. WS don't understand they have all the pieces to make themselves whole again, while we the BS and just dangling with bits. Telling you the truth makes him even more ugly to himself and that's a hard thing to swallow.

He has to figure out on his own that you "really" are ready to hear the grueling details and you will consider staying married to him. Without openess from him you won't be able to move forward.

I don't invision you being big and bad at all and your H cowering. He should suffer. He hurt you more that he can ever image. He did make the choice all his own. But you posted that you want the truth, so pray that God may give you patience.

I gave my H the book called POINT MAN, Steve Farrar * How An Man Can Lead His Family. This was a revelation to my H of 44 years of age. He did not witness honesty and openess between his parents and of course he's carried this through our 26 years as a couple. He is working extremely hard and it shows.

The only thing we have control over is ourselves. The only complete trust I can have is in God.