bumped by request = Please take note sad BS....

Does your wife bring value to your life? If so, start fathoming. If not, start talking about time limits and who's leaving. Bottom line is, you believe your M is worth saving or you don't. You're going to be on a roller coaster of emotion, but every time you stop to think about it, it's either worth it or it's not. I know it hurts, but recovery ain't easy. God won't give you what you can't handle. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I don't mean to sound harsh. My apologies. From what I see, in my opinion, your wife is following the road of many WSs. Mine is doing it too. Being meek doesn't mean you're not strong or you're a doormat. Perhaps one of the older wiser ones will chime in soon. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Drex

Did you mean to post to me , sir ? Your responses seem to be a little out of context.

Bob

Bob, My last posts here should have been in another thread, I'm unsure as to how they ended up here. My apologies for the confusion.

bob meek......LOL sorry...you are anything but meek my friend.

bumperup

Bob, how is the daughter doing these days?

Amazing considering everything. Living with friends. Mom's a violent lush now. Its all bad.

^^ bumped pour encourager les autres

Not sure why I haven't seen this thread before. here is a statement regarding suicide I wholeheartedly agree with...

"Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain."

I am very close to this point, I too have "played with my gun" had it loaded and pointed at my head with my finger on the trigger. It can all end in the blink of an eye but that moment leading up to the point when my finger exerts enough pressure on the trigger to release the firing pin, I've thought of my kids, seeing my son turn into a man, walking my daughter down the aisle at her wedding, all things that haven't yet occured and I want to be a part of their lives and share those moments with them.

Yet, I still sometimes feel that it's the only way to stop the pain and hurt but not for now....

BS

BS

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I was suicidal a few weeks after d-day, yet now my life is great.

Have faith and work on removing the pain from you life, not your life from the pain.

BP. I was OK (my D-Day was 7/30/2005) until about 3 months ago when WW came back to me wanting to "give it another try." I've made some really BAD decisions since then and my anxiety has taken a turn for the worse even affecting me physically. I've gotten "help" but the help isn't coming fast enough to offset the torrent of pain......

spud

call your doctor & read your last 2 posts

I'll second Pep, Spud.


Max

So, the thing I struggle with most is not necesarily dealing with my anxiety but understanding a "solution" to the current situation.

There are two possible outcomes, first, we continue forward with the D and two we continue as we are where WW is chasing OM and I spend whatever time it takes to make sure OM sticks with NC and I see the WW's attempts to contact. But, in the end, I understand that the A is really about issues WW has and not the OM. So, we could be right back where we started from if WW doesn't come out from fantasyland and THAT is where my lack of spine has gotten me. Part of me says move forward and just D and most of me says "stick it out, this too will pass".....

Barking...

I, too, have been a meek one...I have felt as you have before, and even have those days even now.

May I ask you a question ?

MOW here has a H who simply will not "do" anything about his wife's attempts to contact my H. Why is that? If I expose, then I am the "bad" one all the way around.

It seems as if MOW has all the control and respect.

Do you ever feel that somewhere, someday you have to make a stand and say that this stops now? You are a person... You have feelings, you are a valuable asset in so many ways..

My prayer for many of us today is that we stop valuing our self-worth by the actions of other's.

I truly care.

Eibrab

Yes, I struggle with this every day. Before WW came to me 3 months ago to "give it a try", I was comfortable with the thought of being a single dad living in an apartment free from the mess WW put our entire family in.

Fast forward to today, I've made some really horrible decisions based hope that WW would finally give up on OM and "come home" so to speak. We've told the kids we aren't divorcing, we sold our house and bought another (more expensive one at that), I dropped my petition for D (WW has a counter-petition in place) and I made a desperation play to get the OM to NC by essentially paying him to "go away" and all the while WW continues doing everything and anything to get OM to make a committment to her so she can live out her dreams and fantasies with him.

She is a fence sitting cake eater if I ever saw one, yet, I can't seem to see through my own deluded fog and admit she is bringing my down further into ****** everyday all with a smile on her face......

Hope is not a plan.

Correct. However, how can you implement a plan if you don't have the resources? Sure, I can plan till the proverbial cows come home but if I don't have the ability to implement the plan......

I really believe the MB way is sound but I feel it only works for those who are mentally strong (not how else to put it). I guess conflict avoiders (like myself) are doomed to fail the MB test of time and perseverence.

I'm trying, I really am but eveytime I find something new (this morning, I saw WW has withdrawn a decent chunk of cash from her checking account for what I have no idea) it sets off the triggers inside and sets off the alarms, bells and whistles. This is really a test of wits, Mine against hers and she has the upper hand.......And is winning.....

Yes, I also know there are NO winners in such a game especially the kids but it is a test of wits for sure and I am losing mine more and more every day.