Tree -

I know how you feel. But take it from me, you will feel much better if you don't date until you are divorced. After 2 years of this stuff, I had a ONS with a friend after a party. Right afterwards, I felt GREAT. But then I felt very disappointed with myself.

Even though my WH broke his vows, I had intended to keep mine. Now that is gone. In fact, I avoid my friend now. So I lost a friend, and some self-respect. Now I deeply regret my actions. And don't think it can't happen to you. Right now you are ripe for much more than a kiss - women are wired to respond to a man.

So be extremely careful, and end your marriage before you start another relationship. You will feel much better in the end.

betrayedinjersey....thank you so much for your kind words. I have learned a lot...especially from this site. You are right...I didn't want this DV. I did my best and it just wasn't good enough for him. I know I will meet some wonderful man one day and who knows...maybe even get married again. This friend is very nice and just someone to talk to. I know to lots of people I crossed the line but I wanted to kiss him and I did. I actually don't regret it at all. My WH is really in a deep fog that I don't see lifting for years..if ever. He is no longer my concern. My only concern now is my son and making the best life I can for both of us. We will be just fine....I know it!

believer....I remember reading your post about the ONS. I don't plan on sleeping with this man anytime soon. I know in my heart that I need to wait becasue if I did that I know I would feel terrible. The one thing I'm sure of in this whole mess is that my life will go on and I will be happy. My WH will probably regret all that he is done one day and if he ever came to me and asked me to come back, I can truly say I have no interest. I really don't. My heart isn't in it anymore. Sad....but true. I feel like I've givin so much of myself and now I'm tired.
How are things with you? Are you still fighting for your M? I think of you from time to time and wonder how you're doing.

Tree - My life is going fine. I'm very happy now. Thanks for thinking of me.

I am hardly the one to warn you of what could happen, but just wanted to tell you about my experience. I went 2 years without wanting to be with anyone. My fall happened innocently enough.

My girlfriend and I went to a benefit at the yacht club. It was for 2 boys whose dad had drowned in a boat accident. Two years earlier their mom had drowned - and they were only 17 and 15. We wanted to raise money for them to be able to keep their parents live-aboard boat.

While there, I started talking with a guy who I've been friends with for about 7 years. After the benefit, we went to his boat - a group of us. I felt completely safe. HOWEVER, I had a few glasses of wine, and KABOOM - it happened.

I'm just telling you this so to warn you what could happen. I know you are a good woman and mother. Just be very, very careful.

believer...I'm so happy for you. I'm glad you are doing well. Thanks for sharing your story. I will take your warning! I totally understand what you are saying.

That's terrible about the drowning. My mom just called me a few minutes ago and told me that her neighbor's son and a friend went fishing Sunday and have been missing since. It's awful! It makes me see that my life could always be worse than it is.

Here's my guess Tree. Once your WH sees you moving on, he will suddenly realise his loss. All this time he played around but you were there for him, wanting him, pleading with him. He will now have to come to terms with another man being in, not only your life, but your son's. I wish you happiness. I think there is only so much rejection any human being should take!

I agree...I think he will eventually realize what he's done and that he lost his family. Unfortunately it will be too late. I have been through so much and I'm so ready to move on. I want this DV now and just don't want to deal with it anymore. He continues to say and do hurtful things and I need to distance myself from it all. He has no way of contacting me now. He has sent a few little notes in my son's over night bag. I can see him looking over my way during my son's games and practices...I get the feeling that he's regretting his actions. Nothing I can do about that now. I'm done!!!! I tried and tried and he wasn't interested and now I'm not interested.