a special thank you to Dylan for signing his name. I took it as a sign from God that it was something I needed to do for my wonderful sweet caring little men who I want to stay that way....
I think it is time I make some time for me. Maybe it will help me get stronger, and help my H realize it.....maybe
KMEJ...you are very welcome....as I said..use whatever motivation that is comfortable for you and WORKS!!...LOL
But, in this case, I must advise you that I am a she....LOL
and God/Goddess works in mysterious ways....so a sign from God.....OK....
I am so proud of your strength and your SELF-RESPECT and SELF-WORTH right now...I hope you give yourself a big hug today....and everyday...
when and if you question the wisdom of that call....
go find Dylan and look at him....really LOOK at him...and realize you can only do ONE thing....the RIGHT thing...
I think it is past time you take time for you....you have a large chunk of YOU time to make up for....as for your H...well, all this, you do for you and your boys....
your H needs help...he sounds as if he has been 'enabled' all his life...his family, etc....
hopefully, he will see changes are needed within himself, or he will see you and the boys leaving and making a better life for yourselves...and he can 'blame' you all he wants....in the end, he has to be able to look at himself in the mirror......without professional help, I see a very foggy mirror awaiting him...
I know how hard this call was for you...I know how difficult it is to ask for help and to feel like you don't REALLY need it...you sass him, you egg him on, you...you....but...KMEJ....this is really all HIM....HIM....HIM...
I hope you are still breathing and calmly giving yourself the mantra "I do this FOR ME...because I DESERVE better...I do this for my sons because they DESERVE better"
do you ever want to be in the horrible position your mom-in-law faced...where Dylan's wife calls you to talk about him hitting her, belittling her, etc???
NO WAAY!!!
I applaud you and your strength...
I too am a procrastinator...anything to not do what makes me uncomfortable....
this was a big first step...now just keep reminding yourself WHY you took this important step everytime you waver in your resolve....
many hugs....
Dylan
