Ok, my xWS was at the stereotypic end of things. He was 47 and had an affair with a 21 year old. That was the same age as his oldest child (son). She got pregnant during the affair.
My xWS and I had both agreed that we didn't want anymore children, as we were finally at the age when our children (from previous marriages) were becoming quite independent. xWS said he wanted the OW to get an abortion, but who knows? Obviously he didn't use protection! They now have a 3 yrs old son who has Down Syndrome. From what I hear, my xWS spends most of his time raising their son, while the OW is out whenever, wherever. He's concerned because "she (OW) is so immature, seems impatient with their son, and often puts her needs before their son's needs." I have heard about similar situations where older men had children with younger women, and ended up being left to raise the child on their own.
Ok, let's say there is something to older men choosing younger women beause the men are still capable of procreating. How long is that older man going to be around to help raise that child...as compared to a male closer to the female's age? Statistically women live longer than men. So, if an older man already has children from a prior relationship, should he be re-marrying an older woman? Also, recent studies on birth defects (such as Down Syndrome) are starting to show that the father's age can have an impact on the outcome of a healthy child. And if biology and procreation are the issues, than why not allow boys and girls who have just reached puberty to procreate immediately? (recognizing that different cultures have differing acceptable ages for "marriage" and procreation)
Monogamy in the human/animal kingdom? Many human cultures have practiced polygamy. I think the main issue is what relationship, commitment values a couple has established up front when it comes to monogamy. Whether a species in the animal kingdom is monogamous or not, I doubt there is any prior discussion or agreement about monogamy!
By the way, as a 50 year old woman, I, too have been approached by young men in their early 20s. I get the "age is only a number". It does my ego a whole lot of good considering the circumstances of my ex's affair. But my response to them is "Yes, age is just a number, but your number is the same age as my son's, and that just doesn't work for me!"
What an interesting discussion! Give me a man around my age any day! (Please do.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />!)
