I am a customer of USAA.

I could see me writing something similar, something like.

It was bad enough that my ex-wife, who had an affair on me gets to keep using USAA services, that she had an affair with a retired Navy Officer (whatever happened to honor?) but now I hear that your firm may turn a blind eye to infidelity in your own workplace.

This is too much of a trigger, I'll be transfering my $xxx,xxx from my IRA to _______________.

T

My Father is in the military so I get my house Insurance, etc. through them. If you expose to the company and they do not take honorable action let us know. We will all support you.

The workplace exposure thing is something that I have wrestled with since day one of this. My WW is a licensed securities rep. It has been my hope that the A would end with all of the other exposure I have done and then she would leave the company as part of a reconciliation. The reason I havent done the workplace exposure is because if she is termed, the company is required by law to inform the SEC of the reason for the term. My accountant, who is also licensed, says the SEC would have serious problems with her being termed for this reason and would likely revoke her license. I dont know if my accountant was telling me what he thought I would like to hear, or if this is accurate or not. But, I really didnt want to make the reconciliation more difficult by ruining her career. She really doesnt have any other marketable skills, and she is a little long of tooth to go back to work at Hooters after so many years(lol)!
That being said, I really would like to know what the company's official policy on this is. I did place one phone call to the public relations office early on in this mess, and I was told that a lot of employees have met their future spouse at the workplace. When I told them that my WW was having an affair (this was all anonymous of course), I was told that was between me and my WW, and not the company! At that point, I wrote it off to the fact that I was placing an anonymous call and I was probably talking to someone that had no clue what they were talking about and were just trying to get me off the phone. They probably thought I was some kind of nut case. Oh well.
But then again, this kind of thing might actually be condoned there. Who knows? After all, it wasnt but just a few years back that the CEO of the company was having an affair with a subordinate and it was common knowledge amongst the thousands of employees. One friend of mine told me that everytime a woman gets promoted there, the rumors fly about who she is sleeping with. Some or all of this might be true, but if any of it is, what a great corporate culture.
The more I think about this deal, the more I think that time is on my side. Just gotta be patient and continue to stand for this M.
Watched Bruce Almighty last night. Shouldnt have done that. I cried like a baby near the end of it. I thought I was all out of tears for this mess. It really caught me by surprise. Here I thought I was this macho tough guy with a great plan and a silly little movie broke me down again.

Anybody contact this company yet to see what their response to infidelity amongst employees would be? I am really curious about this.

Just a suggestion - find out if your WW's employer has a Corporate Compliance or Ethics Office (most companies do now a days) and make an anonymous call to that office with your inquiry. They should be able to answer the question. Also, too, if you have evidence that your WW and OM are using WW's employer's company assets to conduct/further their affair, let the person you talk to know that, as well.

My company had an issue outside the US that caused us to be investigated by the SEC (because we are listed on the NYSE). The resulting settlement required us to implement a global compliance program similar to robust one that we already have in the US. Being that your WW works in a highly regulated area, I would bet they have such a program as well...

Regards,

Brit's Brat/BS-44
XH-45
DS-3.5
Status: Divorce final May 17, 2004. Moving forward....

Talked to my sister yesterday afternoon. Found out that her husband's nephew works in the same department and is fairly high up. I asked her to contact him and inquire what the policy is towards such behavior. She said they will contact him at home and let me know what they find out.
There is a risk of exposure here by going this route, but at this point my need to know outweighs the potential consequences. Like the title of the old Kansas song said, "Past The Point Of Know Return."

Okay, I called FAAA. After great riggamarole...here's the scoop - if you call their Ethics Helpline, you can make an anonymous complaint but have to give them enough information so they can respond - in other words, names, whether company funds/resources are being used to conduct the A, etc. They will look into any allegations made via the Helpline.

So, now, CrushedinTexas, its up to you whether you want to call and make the complaint.

Regards,

Brit's Brat

Maybe I am a little slow here......what is FAAA?

Maybe I misunderstood - I got the impression from the previous posts that it is the company for whom your WW works. Sorry....

Brit's Brat

USAA is the company.

Sorry - that's what I get for trying to do 2 things at once! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Not to be mistaken, I did call USAA in SA (BTW - I'm in Houston),

BB

Cool.......I am not surprised that you had to endure considerable riggaramole from them. I am not sure if I will take this path immediately. I think I will see how the psychological counseling with the nun goes first. I would much prefer she leaves the company on her own.
Did they ever give you an answer as to what their policy was on this situation, or did you get the feeling that the process of filing the complaint was all mental masturbation?

The woman I spoke to sounded like an Admin. I had to really push to get her to tell me anything. It wasn't until I said well, what if their using company time/resources/funds to further their affair (i.e., indirectly stealing from the company that she started answering my questions and finally agreed that yes, they would investigate.

What surprised me is that I really had to push to find out whether they had an anonymous Helpline for reporting complaints and the number. EVERYONE has these types of Helplines nowadays - especially companies that are highly regulated. In fact, my company gets some of its best stuff from our Helpline (sorry, its what I do so to me its a great resource).

Actually, I like the counseling with they nun approach better too! I am a cradle Catholic who went to a Catholic Girls' High School and Catholic Women's College. Unless this nun is one of the extreme liberals out there (yeah, there are a few) it is likely that she will hold your WW's feet to the fire (probably even more than a priest would) until she does the right thing. Also, she is not likely to let your WW slip away if she tries to avoid.....What Order is this nun?

Regards,

BB

I wonder if the fact that you had to push to get the information, and then subsequently they said they would investigate, means that they really couldnt care less. It seems to me that if they enforced a policy against this type of behavior, the Admin would have said so. From what you are saying, it sounds like they never really said that it wasnt okay for fellow employees to have an affair.
As far as the psychologist nun goes, I dont know anymore than that. I dont know if WW was referred to the nun as a result of the counseling she sought out in the company Employee Assistance Program, or if it is a result of in-laws influence. In-laws are very involved in a mostly Polish Catholic church south and east of San Antonio. As a matter of fact, WW's aunt is a nun. If this is a result of their influence, I doubt very seriously that the nun would not be ultra conservative.
I really feel for my in-laws. They are very conservative and their other daughter is gay. The truth regarding her has been kept from them. I am sure they must have their suspicions, but WW, her brother and myself, always agreed to keep it under wraps so as not to break their hearts and cause discord in the family.
One of the emails that I have between WW and her sister talks about WW's affair and sister's breakup with her partner. If this goes to court, it will be introduced as evidence. Not my intent to out SIL, but it would probably happen as a result of WW's actions.

I have been giving considerable thought to how long I should give the psychological counseling from the nun. One date that seems to be coming to mind is my anniversary which is June 1st. WW supposedly started counseling this week. If it is a once a week session, that would give her 3 sessions before our anniversary. I am thinking that if I dont see any improvement after that, it might be time to move and do everything possible to end this A.
WW has moved in with her brother, who still wants to believe her lie about her not having an A. He called me last night and we talked for a while. I brought him up to speed on WW's request for money last week and my subsequent response reiterating my boundaries for discussion with her. He told me she leaves early in the morning to work out at the company gym (probably with OM) and works till 6:30 or so and is home at 7 and practically goes right to bed. It sounded to me like WW has pulled her brother into her fog. Along with the lodging of the complaint with the company, I will permanently burn off the fog for her family as well. I will make photocopies of all of her incriminating cell phone logs and emails that I have and send it to them along with an explanation for blowing this up at her workplace. I really hate to do this as I know how much pain I will cause by doing so. But it is the only thing I know to do at this point if I dont see improvement soon.



"and the wheels are turning on the last train to Amsterdam"
Ray Wylie Hubbard

Wait a minute Crushed - what's a Nun know about relationships?

WAT

WAT,
probably very little about marital relationships. I have no idea what she may know about other relationships! ;<) But so far, this seems to be my best shot as this advice will be, at the very least, faith based. I tend to believe that the nun will hold WW's feet to the fire on the infidelity and and the divorce issues. But, then again, what guarantees are there that WW will be honest with the nun? Without honesty, how much psychiatric help can be achieved? Lots of questions rumbling around in my head right now. What if I go through with the complaint to the employer and WW and OM lose their jobs? Will this action push them even closer together as a result of a victim mentality? If it does, and the train continues on the divorce track, will I be hurting myself in the eyes of the court? Will it appear to the court that I havent taken the high road? Am I just fighting a losing battle for my marriage and nothing I do can change the outcome?
This whole thing with the company is becoming an even bigger burr under my saddle with each passing day. The monetary reward to OM to recruit my WW to the company stinks to high heaven. And then the whole atmosphere that has allowed them to engage in the A without fear of interference really is pi$$ing me off. This company has a secured campus, where even the spouse cant enter without the employee making prior arrangements with security. So, these two know that there is no chance of me showing up at the workplace and raising a stink about their behavior.
I am still praying for guidance and patience but the patience part is starting to wear thin on me. I am really starting to grow weary of these two and the way they are screwing with me and my life. I guess this is the extremely pi$$ed off stage that others told me I would go through.

I have a meeting with my attorney tomorrow. He told me by phone today that the case is scheduled for court the second week of July. I will have to answer some discovery questions tomorrow for WW's attorney. And we will be sending questions to her atty. Now it gets ugly I guess.
I dont see this going anywhere but divorce now. Maybe I should change boards.



"the wheels are turning on the last train to Amsterdam"
Ray Wylie Hubbard