Re: Your advice to Mike the Guitarist

Pep,

You've got to be kidding me! Someone else who knows about Hector the Defector? I thought my parents were the only ones!

Notso

So where is this alleged reference to Hector the Defector, anyway? I missed it myself, and since everybody's quit talking to me around here <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I didn't see it myself. That's really an ancient joke, isn't it? And one of my favorites (I'm a real fan of sophisticated humor <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />) t&l

Hello-o-o-o-o-o-o? Psst. Anybody there? Why is it so dark? Did somebody turn out the lights? Sigh. I think I killed my thread. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Hello-o-o-o-o-o-o? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> Deep sigh. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> Sound of tiptoes fading into distance, and door closing. Ouch! It hit me on the butt on the way out. I guess I'll just be over here in Pariahville, nursing my bruised backside. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> t&l

I was about to say that Pep has a short attention span, but technically that is not true.

If you keep it up where she can see it, she'll reply.

Hope you were doing OK when you wrote, and didn't need anything. Love your sense of humor.

SS

I have NO idea who Hector The Defector is

so I defered responding until after my brain scan... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Are you ~sure~ you are refering to something I typed with my very own hands???? I don't remember this !

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Today I am not a nurse. Today I am the low-level flunky making repeated trips to the store to obtain roofing supplies for DS2 and a couple of friends who are attempting to replace the roof they tore off yesterday before it rains tonight. Need I say it's been perfectly sunny and hot here for ages, until they took everything off the roof? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> I thought only my husband could cause weather changes like that, but apparently this "talent" has been filtered on down to the sons as well. I'm just taking a break while they unload the first batch of stuff and then will be going back to get the 2nd load. At least this time I don't have to do any shopping. My H gives me these "complete" lists of supplies, and then the blasted clerks ALWAYS want to ask for clarification, which, of course, I am unable to give without calling someone with testicles to see what in the dickens he meant. G-r-r-r-r-r. Happens every time, too. I HATE SHOPPING FOR AUTO PARTS OR HOUSEHOLD REPAIR SUPPLIES! (Shakes self off) Well, I feel better now. Thank you. Hope I didn't spray anybody. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I'll have to get back to Hector the Defector lator, but it involves mashed potatoes in one's underwear, which is why Neak noticed it in some earlier advice you gave to a no-doubt wonderful gentleman apparently discussing the enhancement of his, um, endowment. (or something like that) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Lovely hearing from you again. I was lonely. Well, if those boys aren't done yet, they oughta be. Guess I'll go "hurry" them along. The Lone Haranguer rides again. Here, cattle prod... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Oh ... I do recall advising someone that if he was going to place an enhancing potato in his pants ... to be sure he placed it in the front and not the back of his pants..

My my my .... I do regress.....

Pep

Yes, Truth is stranger than fiction.

I ought to know by now.

SS

The book in which Hector the Defector appears was probably written about 20-30 yrs. ago, and it was a humorous yarn about this man who had defected from Russia (I think), and was trying to make it in America. In this one story, Hector is having trouble getting any interest from American women. At the beach, he notices this one guy that just has women plastered all over him, all vying for his attention. He doesn't think the other guy is that much better looking than he is, and can't understand what the babe-magnet difference is between them, so he finally goes over privately and tells the fellow, "I can't help but notice how much attention you get from the ladies. I can't even get anybody to notice me at all. What's your secret?"

"Well," the other fellow replies, "it's really simple. I just stick a potato down my swim trunks every time I come to the beach, and the women go crazy for me."

"A potato in your pants?" asks Hector. "That's it?"

"Yup," the other guy says. "Try it yourself and see if it doesn't work for you, too."

So the next week Hector does his potato thing, and goes to the beach to strut around. To his surprise, women avoid him like he has the plague. Nobody will talk to him. He even has trouble getting anybody to make eye contact. At the end of a spectaculary unsuccessful day of babe catching, he sees Mr. Studly coming down the beach, surrounded (as usual) by beautiful women. Now he's REALLY upset. So he waits until he can get the chance to complain to him privately about the useless advice he got. "I did exactly what you said," Hector whined. "I put the potato in my swim trunks. I walked around here all day, just like you do...but you've still got all the girls, and I don't have anybody. How come it works for you, but not for me?"

Mr. Studly looks Hector over for a few moments. "I think I may be able to explain. There's really nothing wrong with my advice," Mr. Studly says, "but if you want it to work you need to try it one more time...and put the potato in the front of your pants, not the back. Oh, yeah--you don't want to use mashed potatoes, either." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Does it really count as vacation when you help put a roof on a house, and do deep cleaning of the inside? Gotta get back to work before my "rest" kills me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

t&l

You have serious issues girl..... 'vacation' means lolling about and ordering other people to fetch things for you that are cool and tasty....

Pep

Oh. Well, in that case, I'm not having vacation. I am laboring in preparation for having roof. Ouch!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Try not to think of the episiotomy on THAT one. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

t&l

LOL... you better believe it.

I fetched a 'lil for Pep in March while she vacationed and lolled around in my great Southern state. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Fetched her tiara and boa
Fetched her some fried dill pickles and fried catfish. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
Fetched the best "eye surgeon" and "tattoo artist" I could find
Even fetched her own personal chauffer...

Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Well, at least that proves that Pep follows her own advice. A lot of people don't!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> There is virtue in consistency, I guess. However, I AM getting tired of things being consistently bad. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Hate to think what this place is going to look like when I get back.

Lots of fun though, lots of fun.

SS

Where are you going? Hope you have a good time. Turns out the only places I can afford to go this summer are Crazy, Nuts, and Stark Raving Mad. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> (I'm taking a tour.) Fortunately, it's a short trip, though, so it won't take long. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

t&l

I'm going to girls camp with my daughters, and my W.

I'd go crazy with you, but I've already been there, and they won't even reserve me a room these days. I wonder if my card declined?

SS

How does a guy get to go to girls camp? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Must be one of them coed things!! Either that, or he's got a heckuva disguise! t&l

Officially, I teach a class on the stars, and a map and compass class.

Unofficially, I think my W wants to have me there to set up the big awnings, and to cook.

We'll see.

SS