I wasn't actually a child "of" the 60s, only a child "in" them. Except for this creepy guy that backed me up against a wall and French kissed me when I was 14 <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />, my first kiss was from the Spreader of Nectar when I accepted his proposal of marriage at age 19. The only drink I've had in my life I took when I was about 27; it was some sissy kind of drink, too, and it still made me throw up the next day. I was very protected in many ways, extremely idealistic about love/romance/sex, and somewhat of an anachronism for the era in which I grew up.

While I was plotting how to get rid of my husband in WA 2 yrs. after we got married, my mother was still having people stop her fairly regularly to compliment her on the "most wonderfully-spiritual wedding" they had ever seen. There's a song that has the lines, "We reach so high, and fall so low..." I love that song, and to this day, it resonates with me very strongly. I don't know what you have seen in this so far other than wickedness. For myself, I don't have any problem with giving it that label.

t&l

Why did you "plot to get rid" of him instead of considering divorcing him?

Susan

[/quote]
One of the reasons I asked, was that I sensed pain in your heart, and I wondered at it. [/quote]

Hm-m-m-m-m-m. I'm going to have to watch that. My facade must be slipping, and if that sucker ever goes, no TELLING what kind of trouble I'd be getting myself into! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

[/quote]
I'm still not sure how love turned to ......whatever it turned to. [/quote]

I'm not sure that it WAS love back then. He desired me. I desired children. We each had our own agenda, and called it "love." Kinda like calling a snake a kitten doesn't make it so, either. 34 years down the pike, though, it's impossible to put the toothpaste back in the tube.



[/quote] Often it is, that people are more than they believe they are. How about you and your H? [/quote]

Actually, on those rare occasions when we pulled together we were really a formidable team, and pretty much unbeatable if we set our minds to it. Our strengths and weaknesses are not the same, so when we worked together it was pretty doggone impressive. Didn't happen very often, but when it did, look out! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

t&l

[/quote]Please accept my apologies. [/quote]

I wasn't asking for an apology, and none was needed, but thank you anyway. It was very gracious of you to say so.

[/quote]
Of course mothers and daughters can be friends. If you want to share your secrets with your daughter, that is your option. It would not be mine, but that is my choice too.[/quote]

Maybe your daughter was fortunate enough to grow up in a less contentious environment, one where fewer explanations were needed! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> If so, she has been blessed. The details of this unfolded over a period of 15 or more years, as they grew older and were better able to understand. It's not like I gathered my little ones around my knee at night, saying, "Come, children, it's time for your bedtime story," While they were going, "Aw-w-w-w-w-w, Mom, you're not going to make us listen to the story about your Lost One True Love again, are you?" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> And contrary to what they think, they still don't know everything. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> to you, girls. So there. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Sheesh! Somebody just HAD to ask that, didn't they? Incredibly deep, enormous, humungous, hurricane-strength sigh. Are you ready for the answer? Yes? OK, here it is...

I didn't want to damage my reputation. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

I think I'll creep away now to savor my humiliation alone, and finish blushing in private.

t&l

haha

yeah right <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Susan

Why were these explainations needed? I must be missing something here.

Susan

Oh, I truly believe this. I remember many times wishing my ex would get in a car accident or have a heart attack or ANYTHING to get out of my life without me having to shamefully face divorce.........

Me too, but I never considered hiring a hit man.

That's why it's the Sad Saga of OtherSusan the Stupid, and not OriginalSusan the NotStupid. I was smart back then. I never said I was wise, too!

As far as what and why my kids know, I think I'll quit trying to explain that one. The fact is, they know. Good, bad, indifferent--they know. It's not like I can somehow go back and UNtell them at this point. I can't surgically excise the information from their heads, or highlight, click, and delete. Believe me, if I could live my life over, and do it better and differently this time around, there would be a lot of things besides (and before) THAT I would want and need to change, too.

I see Neak is reading a list of posts. I am going to log off and work on your book. Ahem, Ms. Cover Art Person...

t&l

I'm not sure whether or not the eye roll was intended to express skepticism regarding my answer? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> It is still the truth, though. Widows got sympathy! If I were just going to MAKE UP an answer, with my vivid imagination, I could surely come up with something better than that inane thing...something that would be a little more flattering to me, and a little less embarrassing, perhaps? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Not that I am making excuses, or anything, but I've been working v-e-r-y hard today. If it will help, Neaksis and I will discuss the cover art while she comes over for supper in just a little while. Wanna drop by? She brought me blackberries to make cobbler, and I have chocolate chip cookie dough.............

I notice you didn't invite me until it's too late for me to come and still make it to work on time. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Besides, your dad will complain if I'm not here to say "Hi" to him when he gets home. Try and keep the locusts out of it overnight <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />, and I can probably stop by tomorrow since I'll be working locally for a change and won't have to leave so early. Just tell the kids that it's Grandma's treat and they'd better leave it alone because she doesn't want to have to hurt them! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Now, to your book...really.

t&l

I'm feeling splendidly techno-savvy about now. Here is the picture of Mom at her wedding. (BTW, the same church where I was married, too.)

Susan, I Think You're Making A Mistake...

Ok, here's some more. First, there is a picture of t&l in high school.

Young (Other) Susan

These 2 are pictures of me when I was little, one when I was just a few weeks old, and the other around the time of the airplane thingy.

Baby Neakie

*pauses to admire self*

t&l was 24 and about 5 months pregnant with Neak at the time this photo was taken. Life lessons from this picture: (1) Don't judge a book by its cover. (2) Really, don't judge a book by its cover.

I had a lot of people fooled back in those days with that innocent look.

t&l

Yes, and going back that particular place for your wedding was extraordinarily uncomfortable for me, somewhat to my surprise.

t&l

Do you think the church is jinxed? If Neaksis ever gets married, we're going to have to choose another venue. Haven't had too much luck with that one so far.

t&l

When I was pregnant with Neakbro#2 (we'll call him "Flard," since his childhood home nickname was Flardulous McBarf, although I don't remember why)I used to get up @ 0330 every Monday morning so I could be in class 250 miles away by 0730. I'd stay in Portland until Thursday AM, when I'd drive back the 250 miles to our home town so I could be in P.E. class by 1530 (3:30PM). I took horseback riding, since it was the only P.E. class available to me, and the college wouldn't waive the P.E. requirement just because I was pregnant. I've always suspected the horseback riding in utero to be the reason that Flard was always such a bouncy kid. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

At any rate, this schedule (plus being 5-6 months pregnant) left me feeling tired a lot, for some reason, and on this particular morning I fell asleep at the wheel of my Pontiac Firebird, going at least 90 miles/hr. (Did I ever mention my lead foot?) Suddenly, "someone" grabbed me by the shoulder and shook me awake just in time to swerve away from the cement abutment I was going to crash into. Since I was alone in the car at the time, except for my fetus who could hardly have been responsible for THAT, I've always believed that my guardian angel was the one who jarred me awake so abruptly, and fortuitously!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> This experience has helped me believe, through the years, that since God spared my life (and Flard's) when we were mere seconds from death, He has a plan for the lives He saved...and if I can just hang on long enough to find out what the plan is, I will be more than satisfied with how it all turns out! Let me confess, though, that some days that's easier to believe than others! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Time short,
post abrupt.


Quote by SS:
Neak, I was meaning (blush) there are four of you, maybe they do have something else in common.



Quote by T&L
What do you mean? Our most common shared trait, actually, is that each of us thinks our spouse is a bit on the, um, odd side!


I mean, you have four kids. You shared to create them. I don't know how things are now, but it is often an indicator of the state of a marriage. Women usually don't want anything to do with a H that treats them badly.

I usually go in to more detail, and am less blunt. I am not asking you anything, but letting you know what I was thinking.

This is an interresting thread, with interresting people.

I wish I had more time.

Deadlines at work. Trying to get ready to go on vacation.

I can't believe I missed the rest of the story, but thanks for being patient with me. Have read it now.

T&L,
HOW DID YOU get from then, to now. From wanting to be rid of him, to accepting things as they are?

SS