Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 53 of 374 1 2 51 52 53 54 55 373 374
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,512
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,512
You didn't say, "Poor sweet baby..."

But I am a GUY. We talk all around meeting someone's needs, but never actually meet them. Didn't you know?

And I thought you had experiance. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />



PS,
I've thought about it for a while, and I can be trained.

Poor Sweet Baby - Please know we care. I admire you for taking it seemingly so well - but also understand that it hurts underneath even if you don't show it.

I wish you had someone to hold you when these kinds of hurts come. I hope all your dreams come true - and will pray for that for you. People do care, even if we are not very good at showing it. Wishing you a happy day today.

You too T&L - you too.

SS


I think sometimes about all the pain in the world. I hope we can ease that here, even if only a little bit.
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
Quote
In my belief system Born Again isn't a requirement for me to have a successful relationship with God.

I can't say that I agree with you about this, if your statement is taken at face value. However, I think it's already been established that friendly disagreement is now only allowable on this thread, but expected. I'm wondering, though, if it's not perhaps a matter of terminology, rather than a fundamental disagreement in concept. Here's why. Jesus Himself said that we must be "born again" in order to "see" (enter) the kingdom of God. I'm not sure how anyone could credibly argue that the King of said kingdom didn't know what was needed in order to be in it. That said, I'm not always exactly sure what people of other faiths mean when they say they've been "born again." Sometimes if sounds too mystical and ethereal for me, since I understand it, not in some exotic sense, but in an intensely practical way, as something very basic.

According to the Bible, we are all born with sinful natures. Our hearts are described as being stony hard, and naturally tending towards wickedness. In fact, according to the Bible, "the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked." (Jeremiah 17:9) The Bible is really not at all flattering towards the natural condition of human beings, is it?! In the heavenly kingdom, there is only peace, joy, harmony, and perfection to be found. Not a place where desperately wicked hearts could be at home, nor find comfort, completely aside from the fact that having people there who were so at odds with everything about them, would just ruin it anyway. So, since our first (natural) birth makes us unfit for the kingdom of God, in Jesus we have the chance to be born again as citizens of heaven. When this happens (by accepting Jesus), God gives us a new heart, one in which he can write, "upon the fleshy tables"(as opposed to the stone tables used at Sinai), His law, which will be our delight. He gives us a new mind, the mind "which was also in Christ Jesus," so that we are now able to appreciate and understand the spiritual things our carnal (natural) mind could never do. There is forgiveness for the sins of the past. There is power for the trials of today, and the promise of power for whatever is coming tomorrow. So even though we may look exactly the same on the outside, inside we are so changed, so different from what we were before, that the Bible says it's just like we've been born again into a "new creature." If being "born again" means anything different than that, I've never heard it. And I think, regardless of what term you use to describe the process, most Christians (all?) could agree that the changes I've outlined, and which the Bible guarantees to those who accept Jesus at His word, are definitely things you would want and need, if you're going to follow Him.

Quote
So my point is.........here's this guy who isn't subtle at all about his belief's, and chooses his customers based on their religious beliefs (I don't think he would do work for anyone who wasn't a Christian), and he PULLS THIS??? How does someone reconcile that????

I don't think you can reconcile it. I'm certainly not going to try!!!!!!!!! There are several possible explanations that come to mind. Maybe one of the ones I'll mention is the right one. Maybe the answer is a combination of several. Maybe it's something completely different and I've missed it entirely. But here's what I think... (1)Religion as a pick-up tool, kinda like guys who take cute dogs, or little kids, for a walk in the park so they can attract girls. He thought you were desireable. He wanted to spend more time around you. Talking religion kept you talking to him, didn't it? (2) Religion as a bludgeon. Some people just like to argue about it, and finding out that he "loved you" was just a surprise sideline of his original intention just to hammer on issues. (3) Religion as genuine outreach, only to find that his humanity (and genital twitchings) overcame, overpowered, and trampled his original good intention of converting you. (4) Religion as hypocrisy, in which case he would certainly not have been the first, nor will he be the last, person to profess something with his lips which is not acted out in his life. Although I draw a distinction between hypocrisy, and yielding to temptation and falling into sin, there's no way for me to tell which category he'd fall into, so I'm not even going to try.

What I can say with assurance is that, however noble his profession of faith, or his intentions towards you, may have been in the beginning--what he at least showed by what he did is that he not only didn't have the love of God in his heart, but he had not been born again, either, to receive the new mind and heart that the "new creature" of God's kingdom is to possess. In my opinion, he needs way less theory of the new birth, and way more actually, and in reality, of being born again.

So, how judgmental was that!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Not intended to be, at least not as far as his ultimate destiny is concerned. But Christians ARE commanded to judge righteous judgments, by which I understand that although we are not given the right to say where somebody is going to end up in eternity (<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />), we ARE given the right to look at what people do, and if it's wrong, to pull back from doing the same...because it's wrong. And since what he did was wrong, it is acceptable for a Christian to say so. So.

t&l

P.S. At least you didn't fall for it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 3,912
_
Member
Offline
Member
_
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 3,912
I'm too angry at the witches and warthog to say "poor sweet baby" - at least I was. Sorry. :anotheremoticontheydonthave: What you need in this case is a friendly dragon, to do what the dragon in Shrek did to Lord Farquad (or whatever his name was). Sorry, you're right T&L, not a Christian attitude - at all.

-AD


A guy, 50. Divorced in 2005.
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
Quote
But I am a GUY. We talk all around meeting someone's needs, but never actually meet them. Didn't you know?

I was teasing, I hope you know! I get goofy at the end of these long nights.That I am always proper and dignified at every other time should go without saying! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> It probably goes without saying because nobody wants to LIE.

Quote
And I thought you had experiance. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />


I DO have experience. It's just that so much of it was bad! I have found you to be much more introspective than most men I know. I realize that damns you with faint praise, but hey, take your compliments where you can get them! Keep 'em safe, and eventually you can make yourself a necklace of hens' teeth, too!
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

t&l, signing off and definitely going to bed

Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 3,912
_
Member
Offline
Member
_
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 3,912
T&L,

What a wonderful post about rebirth!

And I think you are right on the mark about the landscaper. Of the options you gave, I would guess that he is a player - and uses religion to get class to women - get them talking to him. Maybe he used different things depending on the woman. Every day he spends with women, doing for them what they never could get their husbands to do, listening to them, responding to their opinions, sweating in the hot son with his strong, well-worked body. (And getting paid for it.) Yeah, it's easy to pick off a few of those ladies. He probably tests each one for vulnerability - and if he doesn't find them attractive, he's probably too busy to do the job.

-AD

Last edited by _AD_; 09/29/05 11:16 AM.

A guy, 50. Divorced in 2005.
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
Quote
Sorry. :anotheremoticontheydonthave: -AD

Where are the computer geniuses who can invent us some REAL emoticons, manly emoticons with some muscle, some kick, some force. Maybe even something, if you're mad enough, that would come right out of the computer screen and wave its fist under someone's nose. Now those would be fun. In a non-exemplary, unChristian way. Oh, well........... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
Quote
T&L,

What a wonderful post about rebirth!

AD

Thank you. It's even more wonderful to experience than it is to discuss! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
t&l

P.S. You've got mail

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
P.S. Neak--is there any possibility at all, after all your A-related postings over the past few months, that you have even one secret wart left--somewhere, anywhere--hidden safely in a secure spot, undetected till this very moment, that you'd like to drag out today and skewer on the family confession board? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,781
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,781
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

There is so much MORE meat in this thread again....I practically want to devote my life to responding!!!

Unfortunately, I have only a moment so we'll have to do with some one liners!!!

First and most importantly is Neaksis -

I truly am so very sorry that you got that letter...I do hope you get in your premptive (spl?...don't have time to check) strike first...

You know this already....but to respond to her ONLY encourages more of the same. You are a "Poor Sweet Baby" who didn't deserve to be treated the way you were. Where I suppose "information is POWER' and that might be why you read the letter, instead of tossing it unopened or ever better RETURNING it to sender UNOPENED....that might be your best option in the future!!!

Now on to the <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />...it's truly my favorite now! It's a humorous <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> - and I enjoy him <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> quite alot. Is it a him or her?

Anyway I have avoided using any emoticons in the past...but now I'm reallly starting to enjoy them <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />...thanks alot t&l.

Well I must go....didn't even get to finish reading THIS thread from when I was last here. But had to come and talk to Neaksis FIRST!!! Her situation is THE priority!


"The actions you speak are louder than your words!"
Author unknown

"Miracles are seen in light."
From "A Course In Miracles".
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
neaksis - Blessings to you. You are doing the most important work in the world - raising children. File future letters away, without opening them. You don't deserve this hatefulness.

Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,781
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,781
Ok, I'm hoping this helps me...

I'm asking for prayers - this sounds so stupid to me to write this - but maybe it will help.

I leaving in a little while to go to my YS's school to talk with his teachers. They requested a meeting with us to discuss him.

Not surprised since my YS has many struggles. This particular struggle isn't life or death or infidelity for that matter...but I am his major advocate, and I tend to take things way too seriously.

So what I am asking you to pray for is that I don't "lose it"! I don't want to cry in this meeting. I get so mad at myself when this happens, because the shift changes focus from what HIS needs are to ME...and I don't want this to be about me!

So to any of you kind thread-readers are willing...I would appreciate prayers of support.

Thank you


"The actions you speak are louder than your words!"
Author unknown

"Miracles are seen in light."
From "A Course In Miracles".
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Prayers coming your way. Hang in their. I have a friend that went through something similar. Be like a broken record and don't get distracted.

Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
Neaksis

all I can say is 'are you SURE that woman isn't on drugs? SHE SO FAR GONE SHE is off the scope.
Whatever you can do legally & affordability wise to get her out of your life go for it.


Neak

chocolate hon, chocolate solves all prego things & stop confusing the poor kid with all those flavours....stick to chocolate <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />



t&l ...
I really really thought it was going to be easier once the kids became adults. Honestly I DID!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Ok now go and have a good laugh point the finger and snigger!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

And STOP laughing so hard !! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
thats my Mum in the background ROTFLHAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Mike needs a bit of boob right now <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
catch you all tomorrow!!


Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.

Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,512
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,512
I was teasing, I hope you know!

And I was teasing you - but I was not teasing T. That was a terrible letter, I hated to read it, and even now there is a bad taste.

You are right about judging - we have to judge if we want to avoid the pitfalls of life and stay away from sin ourselves. Keep those children away from those people! There is no good there, only harm.

So, I meant what I said to her. After I thought about it, she can use all the support she can get.

I enjoyed your thoughts on being born again. I said once that I could see that you have charity. I would also say your heart has been changed. I can see his image in your countenance. It looks good on you.

Thank you again for sharing your thoughts.

CSUE,I have been praying for you. Let us know how it turns out.

SS


I think sometimes about all the pain in the world. I hope we can ease that here, even if only a little bit.
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
YA-A-A-A-A-A-A-AWN. You know what I think is too bad about heaven? There's no night there. Why does that matter? Because the way I feel right now, what I'd like to do is find a nice cloud and sleep the first thousand years or so! Finally I'll have plenty of time to sleep, but no night in which to do it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Oh, well, we won't be tired, either, so I guess it will all even out! Hope everyone had a nice day. I slept through your appeal for prayers, CSue, but I see other people responded, which is all that counts.

Have a nice evening, everybody. I'll peek in on the party later when I get to work.

5&l

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
Quote
I hated to read it, and even now there is a bad taste.

At least I wasn't the one causing it this time. Whew!!
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
Hey T&L

hows life on the baby birthing ward tonight???

busy?


I've been reading my various books again on encouraging H to come back to the church eventually and writing him a long, long E letter to send to him.

You know what I hate about sending him letters and getting his short SMS messages is that some annonyous person somewhere goes through it all line by line for 'security reasons' ...
its very hard to say what you want at times ...
though it doesn't seem to stop his nibs at times <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

I get these images of these blokes in a some dingy basement office saying "hey come have a look at this one guys!! He says he wants to 'a b c' ..." lol

Oh well at least I am getting SMS messages every now & then..... sometimes its months & months between drinks so to speak.

Hope Neak is feeling ok and that Neaksis can move out of that situation somehow.

Boy or girl? come on tell!!
just type very very quietly! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 683
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 683
Hey,

sorry for the threadjack - just wanted to say Hi to AW!
How are you? Is A2 away again? How is baby Mikey?

I still post here sometimes.I even posted an update a few weeks ago, but there is not too much to report right now. Life is sort of ok.

Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
Hi smur!!

hows things!

A2 is in Afghanistan for the next 12 months or so, Mikey is growing so BIG or BIGGER??? LOL

Me, I'm good, worried but not unduly, DD got engaged to a soldier can you believe it - hes in Iraq - DS 1 is about to apply for 12 weeks training in the states I think its at Fort Campbell but I'm not supposed to know that - and life is good but a bit lonely at nights. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

And right now I'm on a coffee high ..lol gotta cut down girl!

Sorry for the TJ t&l... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 683
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 683
Hey,

its great to hear your news!

It must be wonderful to have Mikey there safely and growing.
I wouldn't mind one of my own ... but I think I've been saying that for some time now <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
What a pain about A2 being gone so long! I guess you get to see him at some stage? He must get leave?

For an update on me, I posted towards the end on FL's last thread about her having a bad day. I still get sad and H and I are not recovered yet. But on the upside, we just came back from Fraser Island on holiday. What a place! People are so friendly up there, and the wildlife was incredible. We saw a dingo right outside the hotel, and so many birds that I have never seen before.

Hey Thndrlghning, nice to meet you! Hope you don't mind the chitchatting from us in the other time zone!

Page 53 of 374 1 2 51 52 53 54 55 373 374

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 178 guests, and 47 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Gastelumattorney, lucasmiller, Demonolatry, Jose E. Martin, Frank Pro
71,895 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Really Struggling
by Demonolatry - 11/13/24 03:52 AM
20 appointments and $1000’s later…
by IrishGreen - 10/30/24 06:20 PM
Happening again
by jah - 10/29/24 10:00 AM
I grounded my wife - am I proceeding correctly?
by Mature - 10/27/24 02:05 PM
How Do I Tell Him I Don’t Love the engagement ring
by BrainHurts - 10/22/24 09:30 AM
Children
by BrainHurts - 10/19/24 03:02 PM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,615
Posts2,323,459
Members71,895
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5