Technobabe here. All fixed now, Teacher Neak. I think it was caused by either professorial incompetence or actual misconduct. Take your pick. In order to re-post, I had to call SBC to see why the internet line had suddenly quit working and then listen to pretty much all the instructions en Espanol before I realized I'd punched the wrong button and had to start over, unplug all the jacks, and reboot the computer, before I could even [/b]begin[/b] to correct the link. I THINK I know what happened, and if I'm right, all I can say is, computers are sure picky! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

And that's why I'm still awake at this ungodly hour of the "night." I DID fold several items of clothing, however, so can't say that it was a total waste! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

t&l

No it wasn't. She put pictures in there I didn't want posted, and now that you told everybody there were extras I'm going to have to delete a few before I go to sleep! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

The news is not always a blessing, is it? We're praying for you.

t&l

Just a little tardy update, as the visit to the bankruptcy attorney kind of got shuffled in with all the busy-ness immediately afterward.

It was almost all good news. The corporation does not even have to declare bankruptcy: once it is shut down there is no entity left to sue. He was very confident that even if Gargamel tried to sue us personally that the judge would almost certainly toss it out.

Of the money we personally owe her, unless there is more that she's waiting to tell me about, we have just over $200 left plus a bit of interest. On the advice of the attorney, I wrote her right after my visit with him and informed her that there would be no further payments from the corporation until such time as it had money come in.

There will be a little more, hopefully. The attorney will help us sue the company that put us out of business, and there should be enough left to pay off the stuff we had co-signed with the corporation for, leaving us pretty well in the clear.

I am undecided at this point how much of the Garg-debt I actually want to pay back. There is beginning to seem to be a certain justice in her paying for her evil deeds...month after month after month. And even at that she will not be paying back the price of those stolen pleasures for nearly as long as I will.

Maybe the pregnancy hormones are making me cranky.

Still, I was very happy to know that, whatever I may choose to do, I don't have to do any one thing. It's all up to me, and I like that much better.

The Spit Wad Crew is back on duty so I have to go bust some backsides, er, I mean counsel the dear little children until I convince them of the errors of their ways.

It's good to be home. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Wow AW! Now I've added Perth to my list of places I have to see before I die - a loooong time before I die. Hmmm. Next summer would be good (that's winter for you, but it's not very cold is it?)

-AD

Isn't it gorgeous? Wow!

Grandpa must have been getting tired of the gruel-ing meals recommended by the Dr. following his endoscopy, because last night he came out waving $20's around and telling me to go buy some food. Obviously we had to have been running low, or I would have had something better to feed him than 17 different kinds of soup. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I see Neak has put some new pictures in the "album" for me. There's a pt. coming soon, but I think I have time to get two transported into the thread. Then again, the doorbell just rang. Maybe not.

The Public Indecency Tent

Gotta run. Duty calls and I want to choose which one I get! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

t&l

The Point Reyes lighthouse from a you_neak perspective

It was actually worth the walk down and back just to see the machinery they no longer use. Now they use these stupid spotlights that have no charm, no charisma, no flare...but apparently a LOT more candlepower, although I couldn't understand how that could be true, with all that reflective glass everywhere.

Two pts. came in together, and both delivered, 13 minutes apart. I got the one I wanted, so I'm happy, and as soon as I transfer her to her new room, I'll be happier still. And in line at the cafeteria. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

t&l

The Dervish Enjoying Saturday Night's Campfire

He hasn't caught onto our secret yet. We run the little devil, er, darling into the ground in the afternoon, then once he crashes early, we can all party on without having to worry about what he's up to now! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Devious is my middle name.

t&l

I hope you didn't let Aussie define "fun" so that you had to spend it running up and down the stairs! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

t&l

It's not the going-someplace that I object to. It's the packing and unpacking that accompany it. I'm a big believer in traveling light, at least as far as food and clothes go, although nobody picking up my suitcase filled with the reading material I've selected for any given trip is going to use the word "light" to describe what I've got them carrying! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> If I'm hungry I'll stop and buy something. I don't need to have with me already, 3 different choices for each meal. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> CharredAndBroiled cleaned house while we were gone, because I asked him to get more organized and consolidated downstairs. It looked really nice when we got home...for about 10 minutes. But after HP put all the camping gear in the spot C&B had just cleaned, it now resembles the aftermath of an explosion in a sporting goods store. C&B hasn't been home to see yet what we did to all his hard work, either! I'm telling you, anything with cabins and a cafeteria is a hard vacation spot to beat. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Think about the possibility of getting your atty. to write her (among others) a letter stating that there is no corporation to pay her, etc. like you wrote in your post. Then, once you've convinced her she isn't entitled to another dime, you could pay her what you can and it would be all your choice, and all your generosity, too.




Do you think? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Hehehehehehe love it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


No I didn’t you can be assured. However two young policewomen thought it was so funny that we were ’parking’ at ‘our age’ Hummpf ! !! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Aw’s camping guide book for accommodation ……..

Tent - what the heck is a tent????? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

2 star hotel – only if NOTHING else is available <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

3 star hotel – regular or standard level accommodation <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

5 star hotel – what I desire and really really like <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Didn't you know that the young'ns invented not only fun, but romance and sex as well? How DARE you two old coots steal the rightful property of youth? Have you no sense of what is proper? For shame... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

I LOVE your accomodation guide. From now on, may I travel with you?

t&l

Whew, I think I'm back!

Now I need to wade back through this thead and find something specific I'm looking for! Need to comment on that, then boy do I have some stories to tell!

t&l, feel free to send me on to another thread to post if you like!

BTW, I loved the camping pics!! Neaksis is beautiful! and the children look like angels! If the dervish is who I think he is he is particularly angelic....which can be dangerous itself! He doesn't look capable of the things he does!!! Too darn cute!

Ok, I'll be back with the part that's been weighing on my mind whileist I've been exiled from computerland!

Oh, "Hi SS"!! I saw you waving a few pages ago!!! I have some great stories for you later, but this first...

I had to go all the way back to page #84 for this....

Neak said,

"CSue, here is a quick timeline for you:

December 2004 - Affair began with a few "friendly lunches"
January 2005 - Affair exploded after H started to work at the same job as OW
January 18-19 - H said he was leaving
February 12 - Dday
February ? - EA became PA
Early March - A supposedly ended, claimed to be "just friends". Sadly, did not know about NC.
April 16 - end of rope, found MB
April 18 - joined MB forum
May 5 - Recovery #1 upon delivery of PBL, NC lasted 10 days, broken briefly and reinstated for another 9 days.
May 25 - EA renewed, steady contact until...
June 21 - Recovery #2 upon delivery of PBL2 and notice that any further C would lead to immediate D proceedings. I was so done messing around with the A.
July 1 - 9th wedding anniversary
October 13 - 114 days of NC, so far as I can tell. Has it been that long already?

End of what Neak said"!

t&l, & Neaksis....the reason Neak has been on my mind lately is I recall somewhere back before page #84 that one of you said that Neak speaks "clam" sometimes which we all know means "non-speak"!

My concern is that she is approaching the 6th month mark of recovery which can be a very difficult time EVEN when recovery is going great! Many of us on MB have speculated as to why 6 months is a landmark time, and I think JL has the best explanation for it. And if I were computer talented I would be able to supply a link to his specific comments on the subject.

But since I am not a computer geek or "technobabe" either you'll have to trust me. What JL has said and others as well, is that the 6th month mark in recovery is often when the adrenline is finally starting to subside from the effort to save your marriage. In it's wake are PTSD symptoms that can leave you feeling lost, depressed, dispondent - all the while wondering "WHY" especially if recovery is going very well.

So Please Neaksis and t&l, take special care of Neak - what alarms me most for her is that she has pregnancy hormones, on top of whatever stage recovery she is in. I can't begin to imagine that! Plus she is dealing with aspects of OW with financial stuff and I recall on I-ville that OW sent a letter recently. All of which might postpone her PTSD symptoms.

A side note to AJ....I almost did't put my thoughts about Neak in this thread out of consideration for you, but I felt it too important - it's been weighing on me for the past 2 weeks at least. So I hope you don't take this as a bashing of you, because it isn't intended to be. In fact I have great respect and admiration for you because not only are you doing so many things RIGHT by the sound of it...you also have the courage to post here!!! So no FWS busting from me! Just respect and admiration for the future you have chosen.

Back to Neak...Personal Recovery is often what is needed at the 6 month mark. Finally with your marriage on the right track and the tension oozing away, you're emotionally available to yourself to pick up the shattered pieces of your being and put yourself back together again. In my case, my subconscious speaks to me in songs. I find myself singing to myself and am often surprised at what the song is...how embarrassing to tell you that when I reached this stage of my personal recovery I was singing "Humpty Dumpty"!

"All the Kings Horsemen and all the King's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again!!!" But I knew "I" could put Humpty Dumpty together again...especially with God's help!

I have had so many hidden blessings in my recovery - it far outweighs the pain of the whole ordeal! Whew, that's saying alot - especially since in my case the OW didn't want to let my husband go either.

So Neak dear.....let us know how you're doing Ok?

I've said it before, and I guess I'm going to say it again--it is impossible to TJ a feminine hygiene products thread. In fact, it might be almost merciful to TJ a feminine hygiene products thread, given the stated subject matter, now carved in MB stone!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> Tell you what...it can be your personal responsibility to keep the thread alive with your anecdotes and musings for the week I'm in HI (starting next Wednesday), when I probably won't have access to a computer the whole time. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> And I'll just have to catch up myself when I get back. I'm hoping to barge through the last couple of lessons from the Saga before I go, and tie up a couple of loose ends so that we're pretty much free to do whatever we want from here on out. Hm-m-m-m-m-m. Not that it's been all that restricted SO far, has it?


You can get away with that label as long as you don't specify exactly which type of angel you're talking about!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> He is very cute, although it's not buying him quite as much slack as it did when he was a bit younger! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Welcome back from your temporary banishment to the Cyberian wastelands. Glad to see you again. SS appears to have abandoned us for a wk. to visit his son in AZ, so if he doesn't wave back right away, that's why. Apparently the internet hasn't reached that state yet, so he was going to be out of touch. Either that, or he's planning to actually visit with the real-people-who-are-related-to-him and occupying his personal space, while he's there, instead of hanging out with the really important folks here! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

t&l

I think she needs to answer this herself, since I was openly surprised on this very thread a little while ago when she talked about how much trouble she was having, and I hadn't had a clue that beneath that calm exterior was so much inner turmoil. Of course, SHE was surprised we couldn't tell, too, so I guess we're all even. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

I know, let's all tackle her facade next, and this time I can help dismantle somebody else, splinter by splinter. Huh, Neak? Huh? Huh? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> Doesn't that sound like FUN? You're too young for a colonoscopy, but you could enjoy this instead! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

t&l

CSue, thank you. What you said really makes sense. I am just about to leave for an evangelistic meeting at the church, but I will be back in the next day or so to begin commenting on your questions. It will probably take a while.

OK, I see this photo is a little <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> out of focus, but still good enough to illustrate my point. When I was tiptoeing through the nettles in search of more caterpillars, I found the chrysalis in the posted picture.


The Road to Metamorphosis Is Not Without Danger

As you can see (you did look, didn't you?), it has had a hole eaten right through the center of it, and if we could've taken a picture looking up inside, you could see that although the chrysalis is still there, it is hollow on the inside. There will be no butterfly here. A predator (probably a wasp larva, or some other insect) has destroyed whatever the poor caterpillar might have become.

I think people trying and hoping to change into something better meet a lot of this in their lives. The one attempting to destroy your metamorphosis doesn't have to be an open enemy. It may be a "friend," or a even family member. The deed may be deliberately done. It could be an accidental consequence of something that wasn't intended to be harmful to you. Whatever. Here you are, busily in the process of changing from what you are, to what you want to become, and along comes someone or something, and eats the heart right out of you, and you may feel a lot like that empty chrysalis...as if nothing is left, and no hope remains.

Well, for the actual butterfly chrysalis, there is no hope. But for us there is, even if, for a time, we feel every bit as dead and empty and hopeless as that poor thing in the picture. I think the text is in Joel. One of the minor prophets, at any rate. It's long been a great favorite of mine, because in it God promises, "I will restore unto you the years that the locusts have eaten..." A lot of times I feel like a field after the locust swarms have been through--no fruit, nothing but stubble, completely wasted. And so I hang onto this promise a LOT, and look forward (but not very patiently!) to the restoration He says is coming.

Are you hollow and empty? You can be filled. The Bible says so. Is there a hole eaten through the center of your heart because you've lost the one who said they'd always love you? God loves you--so much He sent His Son to redeem you while you were still His enemy. Now He is your Father; Jesus, your Big Brother. Are you feeling all alone? Jesus will never leave you, even to the end of the world. Do you have more burdens than you can bear? "...Cast(ing) all your care upon him, for he careth for you." Do you feel dead? "You hath he quickened (brought to life), who were dead in trespasses and sins..." Are you abandoned or forgotten? Your name is "graven" (carved) in the palms of His hands forever, and He has said he will never forget. Has the treatment you have received at the hands of others left you feeling without value or worth? You are "bought with a price," not with gold or silver, but with the precious blood of Christ. How much more valuable can a person get than that?

I could go on, because for every discouragement, there is a Bible promise that fits...however, when I got to work tonight, I found that I'd been taken off the schedule but nobody told me, and since it's 51+ miles home over back roads, I want to get it done before it gets too much later.

People giving you trouble? Metamorphosize in spite of them, that's what I say! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> We here in the feminine hygiene products aisle of your local multi-tasking variety store, will cheer you along every step of the way.

t&l

Yes, she is, and that's why it's particularly annoying to me that Biodad, Biomom, and GargamelGranny accuse her of "stealing" the kids, as if (at 17) she was already so ugly and so hopeless that taking another woman's children was the only way she could ever hope to have any; and that an ex-con 15 years her senior was the only man I thought she could possibly have...and so I used the children as weapons to force him to pay attention to this loser daughter of mine so she could "get" a man!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> OK, this would be a good place for the Wrath of Thor emoticon I said we needed. Quite frankly, Snarky Pete doesn't have the emotional "heft" to express the infinte vastness of my resentment over this judgment they have made against my baby.

However, this does lead into a life lesson from the Saga (to be dealt with at another time!), as well as my finally coming to the point where I can answer the question some of you expressed earlier, "What are you like today?" I can tell you "what." The Saga explains "why." Because of the Saga, I believe anybody can change. Not everybody will, of course. But nobody should try and say it's impossible. I did it. Nearly killed me, changing did. But it happened. And I want to hold out hope to everybody who is finding metamorphosis difficult, intimidating, painful, and interminably-long. Don't give up. You can do it.

t&l