CC - Porque se rie?

t&l,

Yes I stole the idea from Neaksis about what kinds of responses I'm expecting....I liked the results she got!

However, I do value honesty very highly, so maybe after the "poor baby" stuff, you all can tell me how ridiculous I'm being if you feel so!

I'll tell it straight, then if I have time, I'll fill in some background...

Here goes -

Yesterday after church my husband and I went as usual to the religious education building to pick up our two boys from their classes.

Mass got out earlier than expected so we waited in the hallway inside the front door. We were standing and waiting, probably chatting - and the one thing I notice is the voice of a woman talking on a cell phone.

Not a big deal, certainly not unusual - however she had an interesting voice, kind of low and husky - and we could hear every word of her conversation as she went on quite animatedly. I wasn't paying particular attention to the specifics of what she was saying, and in fact she wasn't in my line of vision; (she was on the other side of my husband and off to the side a bit).

It then gets quiet, she obviously was done with her conversation, and at that point I see a woman (her) suddenly in front of us where she hesitates a minute. I'll do the best I can to make myself understood, but you'll see me struggle a bit - but understand that this happened really fast.

As she hesitates in front of us I receive my first shock...why shocked you ask? Because she was one of the most incredibly stunningly gorgeous women I have EVER seen in my life. I am not kidding - she looked straight out of central casting, the female lead in a role of femme fatale!

We've gone to that church for at least 14 years, and I can tell you I have never set eyes on her before - no way anyone could forget seeing her.

Let me describe her - tall, I'd say 5'10" (my sister is that tall so I know), probably a size 2, hair that was dark and thick (looked like a shampoo commercial model), wearing all black clothes.

As she hesitates in front of us, she looks at my husband and in a flirty sort of way says Haiiii...(get the breathy tone in the Hi!) With a toss of her hair, she gives him a smile a walks down the hall. Her hesitation included time for a response from either of us....but we were truly stunned....AND THE TAR BABIES SAID - NOTHING!! We were speechless. Neither one of us could get a word out, even after she floated down the hall, until my husband said, "Who was that?"

I was still speechless, because as you can guess, I was stunned the second time by this vision - pausing to say Hi to my husband.

We are not verbally challenged in my family, I can assure you...finally I spit out - that I had never seen her before. So we stood there speechless, then it hit me that she would be coming back by, because we were standing just inside the front door.

So I said that I needed some air - could we go outside? Hoping that my children's classes would let out before she reappeared...brb

Believer, check the thread about the OM's picture.

Me sigo riendo <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Sheesh, I just lost my continuation of my story!!!

So again...........

So we are outside the front door waiting for the boys, when we see her emerge.

This time as she floats by, she give us a toss of her hair, and a throaty chuckle. WTF??????

And then we see her load up her children and get into her car.

My boys come out and we get in the car. Once home, (and I'm not defending myself here) I get angry, I mean REALLY ANGRY!

I'm not exactly sure what I'm angry about - all I could identify was that this was an enormous trigger of sorts. I have to admit that I was he## to be around the entire rest of the day. I even went outside to wash my car, with my favorite songs blaring - trying to get in a civilized frame of mind again. I prayed and I mean prayed hard for God to deliver me from my state of mind.

By the time evening arrived I had apologized to every member of my family for my horrible attitude! I was filled with hate.

So finally after my last apology to my husband he asked me if he had done something.

Well NO, he hadn't done anything! He didn't do anything I could see that contributed to what this woman said/did to him. He was an innocent bystander.

brb

When I told him that SHE was why I was so worked up, he said - "All she said was Hi".

True, buuuuuuttttttt.....it was way more than just Hi!

Which helped me understand partially at least what the trigger was.

Back, way back before his affair came to light - really since I met him - he was an enormous flirt.

Not only that, he has always easily attracted women. Not that he's all that terrific looking, but he has an air of confidence, and self assurance that is attractive. On top of which he is a highly social person, very comfortable being the center of attention, with a wit and humor that can be irrestible.

As part of our marriage coaching with Steve Harley, he got very SPECIFIC advice about how to tone it down...

So that's what it triggered. That old shi+,

Which got me to wondering.....since this babe was on the other side of him, had he been making eye contact with her, or looking her over good? Had he somehow communicated to her that he was interested????

Well I'll certainly never know....because the man isn't stupid. He saw how I reacted thinking he did nothing...Think he's going to tell me he flirted???

So I don't know if that's it, and what difference does it make.

Another possibility is that what happens sometimes is that he is recognized by people we don't know because he is a public speaker, and has a regular newspaper column that has his picture attached to it each week. So he often gets strangers who come up to him and they feel like they know him as a result. Was it that????

So now, I'm simply trying to get a balanced perspective so that I quit being so upset over something that is way outside my control.

I know there must be a lesson in here for me, I just can't see it yet....The end - I think!

Edited to add - just so you know how immature I can be....I announced that I will not be going back to that church again, or at least not that particular service!

Everything classy, dignified, or graceful about me I completely abandoned....I'm who I'm most mad at...ME! I really let myself down. I was a run away emotional train, who might not still be stopped.

So in an effort to practice self-control, I had given myself a mandated "time=out" talking with anyone (but you guys) about the subject. As you can see, I need to vent somewhere....so Thanks for being here.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Not a nice way to speak of your golden goose, young lady!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> I'd make some pithy remark (because I'm pithed!) about the rampant discourtesy towards MB inhabitants of more mature years, being displayed on this thread...however, my arthritic, gnarled hands can't seem to type the words, and my wizened arms lack the strength to make it to the keyboard. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> So I guess you're in luck. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I've got a delivered pt. tonight who is a rule out MRSA, so she's in strict isolation and all I've got all night is her and her twins, because I can't take anybody else when I'm taking care of somebody with that possible infection. It's gonna be a long 12 hrs. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Starting right after she returns from her tubal ligation. I'm bored already, and I haven't even done anything! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Maybe it was that snarky remark about oldsters, but I'm feeling very mortal today. So when my friend sent me this in an email, I decided I would post it here for all my elderly peers. Young snirps need not peruse! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />



> George Carlin's Views on Aging
>
> Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get
old
> is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so
> excited about aging that you think in fractions.
>
> "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six
> and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key
>
> You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to
> the next number, or even a few ahead.
>
> "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey,
> you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . . you
> become 21. Even the words sound! like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21.
> YESSSS!!!
>
> But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound
> like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun
> now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
>
> You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on
> the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50
>
>
>
>
> and your dreams are gone.
>
> But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
>
> So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
>
> You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a
> day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
>
> You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT
> lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there.
> Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92"
>
> Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a
> little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
> May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
>
>
> HOW TO STAY YOUNG
> 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and
> height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them
> "
>
> 2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
>
> 3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
> whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's
> workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimers.
>
>
>
> 4. Enjoy the simple things.
>
> 5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
>
> 6. The tears happen! Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person,
> who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are
> alive.
>
> 7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family,
> pets,keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your
> refuge.
>
> 8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is
> unstable,improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help
>
> 9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next
> county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
>
>
>
> 10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every
opportunity.
>
>
>
>
> AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
> Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the
> moments that take our breath away.

t&l (tired and lagging <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />)

I'm pushing something, only I'd rather not know what it is, LOL.

-AD

AD, you're much too young to have read that. I thought I put it off limits to youngsters who aren't even old enough flirt with old ladies! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> I know what I'm pushing...I'm pushing 60. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> But not very hard. You could even call it timidly, if you wanted. And with a notable lack of enthusiasm! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Well, it's time to go ingest my heart attack in a box. What is that, you ask? (I thought you never would!) Michelina's Budget Gourmet Fettucine Alfredo with Four Cheeses!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Too many of those and I'll be pushing up daisies!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

t&l

LOL, LOL, LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Hey T&L... I just wondered... Is cheese a vegetable?

-AD

Only if it's green!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

t&l

And growing. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Anybody want an extra serving? I think I'll skip mine this time. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

t&l

I'm not saying any more about aging, because I'm not doing that anymore. As DD says when I tell her something she wants is all gone or that the place she wants to go is closed. "NO! IT IS NOT!" (hoping to intimidate reality into submission to her will).

I'm not going to do that aging thing anymore. I gave it up. I did. Really.
I'm not even shouting.

-AD

Hm-m-m. Stagnation. Sounds like fun. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

t&l

CSue,
I am not sure why you are upset with yourself for having the reaction you did.

It looks like it was a huge trigger, and I think after what you have been through it was natural. I would guess it will take a lot more time before these feelings are completly gone. God works miracles, but he often uses natural means. (What I mean by that is ......someone said once, "I prayed for patience, and God gave me problems to overcome that I might develope it.")

You recognized what was going on, distanced yourself until you could get the feelings under control, and then apologized for not catching it sooner. These are all good things. I think I understand you being upset, and wishing you were a little better at it, however, this seems to be where you are NOW.

Don't you think you have come a long way?

I think you will continue to improve - I am sure of it.

Sorry for the stress this caused. Are you feeling better about it now?

Can you bring yourself to talk to your H about it? I think this could help you reach a new level in your relationship if you can talk to him, and if he can help you work through these feelings.

SS

They do have computers in AZ, and the day I typed a few lines, I was waiting for everyone (meaning my W) to decide what we were doing that morning.

After that, they kept me busy pretty much all the time - well almost all, but there was no computer in the restroom.

We drove 425 miles today, and are home safe and sound. Most of us are sound. I try to be accurate.

SS

Neak,
Notice how often we shorten your name to just "neak"
Short for u-neak. Which you are. And isn't it wonderful that you are.

It's good that you are being asked to help with song again. Thanks for letting us in on that. When I think of the traume you - CSue, and many others have been through, I get kind of quiet, and thoughtful. The refiners fire is so HOT. Sometimes becoming pure is painful.

I am glad you continue to seek the face of he who has the power to bind up all wounds, and heal all hurts. IN the end, that is all we can do - follow him.

I pray that he will help you become all that you desire to be.

SS

Neak Sis,

You have been through a lot. Are you OK?

SS