Well, one nice thing about leaving a bit late for the airport is that you don't have to sit around a long time waiting to get on the plane. When we checked our bags, we were told that our plane would start boarding in 4 minutes...and this was 40 minutes before takeoff time. I guess that's why Hawaiian Airlines leaves on time. I did have time to go to Cinnabon and get a big cinammon roll for breakfast. Your dad didn't want me to get one for him, because he wasn't hungry. What he really meant was that he wanted to eat part of mine once I had it. Which is OK. Those things are huge!!

I had intended to sleep on the flight over, but somewhere a few seats behind us was a Spawn of Iniquity (size very small) who had passionate objections to the flight, and vocalized them repeatedly, at full volume. I felt that if its parents weren't going to shush it up (which they made absolutely no effort to do), they should've at least taken away its megaphone. But nope, apparently that wasn't an option for them either. By the end of the flight, when it could be heard throwing things at people, and going "Nyeh! Nyeh!", only my deceased and rigored condition prevented me from grabbing it by its tiny, infuriating scruff and stuffing it down the toilet.

I did get to sleep for a few minutes before it started, but falling asleep was initially delayed by the exreme amusement I derived from listening to the lady next to your dad trying to carry on a conversation with him. Imagine Jabberwocky vs. Clam, without benefit of translators, and you'll get the idea. It was so funny--I can't even tell you. Either they quit and I fell asleep, or eventually my fatigue overcame its entertainment value, because when the Spawn started spewing, my seatmates had fallen silent. (I could've told her!) Your grandpa also had quite an animated conversation with the youngish lady next to him. She had her nose pierced. I think he was telling her stories but couldn't hear quite well enough to be sure.

We got off the plane, and got hit with the first gust of Hawaiian breeze, and I told GP, "Well, Daddy, I think you can take your sweater off now!" Let's just say it ain't October in Hawaii. I wanted to get a picture of it raining in the bright sunshine, but it was over and gone so quickly there wasn't time to get the camera bag out of the trunk. We saw Neak's book on display in the local ABC. Maybe we'll take a picture of it for her.

I was in bed by 6PM local time, and never heard anybody else come into the room or get in bed. Good thing, too, because there's a rooster living right outside the bedroom window with an internal alarm that goes off MUCH earlier than mine is accustomed to do. By the time we leave, after six morningsof this, the only thing that will save its miserable life is the fact that until I wake all the way up, I'm too stiff to move and too slow to catch it; and once I'm all the way awake, I don't care any longer.

Today we're going to the Arizona Memorial and maybe the Bishop Museum. Your dad is driving. I put up with him sitting next to me in the passenger seat for 8 whole miles before retiring from my job as tour guide. Actually, I was ready to have him drive before we got all the way off the airport property, but there was no place to stop!! He says it's the only time I'll ever get to tell him where to go. Not strictly true. I can tell him where to go whenever I want to (if I want to waste my time!). It's just the only time he'll go where I tell him.

I'll get back to you later, but right now I'm tying up Frances' phone line for this, and don't want to impose. Your technodad has an idea of how I can simplify this later, but we've got to do our adventuring first. Joedy Melashenko and his wife are here to do a program and are staying at this same house. He knows the Spreader of Nectar amongst the Flowers of the Garden, too (my first fiance), and we share other acquaintances. He knows GP as well, as was very surprised to hear that he was right in the bathroom getting abluted. Tell CSue that SDA's don't really live longer. IT JUST SEEMS THAT WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Letter from Hawaii:

Well, shoot. Now that your dad's been so nice as to set up this notepad
so I can write my stuff down without the internet indefinitely tying up
up our hostess' house phone, how will I ever be able to comfortably make
fun of him, on his OWN computer, for the rest of the trip? Bummer. "And
in other news, Santo Clammo, currently vacationing in Hawaii, did..."

I think The Pwintheth must be expecting a gift. This morning, while
cleaning my purse, I found the folded-up note that was handed to me
yesterday. It reads: "Dear NaHa I love you You are so nisse Love BooBoo."
Insert rolled eyes here. Then tell her thank you for the lovely little
note she sent to her dear Noah, who is enormously touched, I promise!

Yesterday we went out to the drug store and picked up some supplies GP
didn't manage to get into his little bag. Most of the time he can't
remember that he has his little bag, either. After we got back from the
store I set all the things he had just bought outside the bathroom door.
He came out, stepped over them, and asked where his stuff was. I said,
"Right there on the floor, Daddy." He looks down at the bag underfoot
and says, "What is this?" He has a hard time remembering what I tell him
we're going to do, and after the 4th or 5th time giving the same
information, it's hard to infuse any degree of freshness into the voice, let
me tell you!

Today we went to the Bishop Museum. I want Neaksis to know she was wrong,
wrong, wrong about how long it would take us to tour the place. I was
worried that in the 1-1/2 hrs. left of available time for the day, I
wouldn't get my money's worth out of the place. Tina said, "I don't know
what you're worried about. You'll be through in 1/2 hr. tops." I said,
"What are you talking about? It's got 4 stories of exhibits. How do you
expect me to finish that quickly?" "Easy," she said. "You're forgetting
your going Daddy, and he'll be 'OK, I've already seen that. Let's move
along. Yup, nice. What's next?' And before you know it, you'll be
done." Well, we did NOT finish in 1/2 hr. However, we DID see 6 floors of
exhibits, plus a separate dinosaur hall, plus go to the gift store and
get something for kids, all in 1 hr. and 20 min. Your GP was looking for
a place to sit down by the time we finished. Which reminds me...I
rented a "full-size" care specifically so there'd be room for your dad and
GP to be comfortable. I think about this every time I see them trying to
fold themselves into, and unfold themselves out of, the cozy little
seats the car provides for them. Good thing I didn't choose economy or
compact!!

When we went to the AZ memorial, I noticed several things: (1) Sailors
are much younger now than they were back in the 60s, when they were
mysteriously-alluring older men. (2) They don't make MPs like they used
to. The security company was named "Wackenhut," which I originally read
as "Whackenut". Got to tell you that sounds a lot more intimidating than
the REAL name, that's for sure. "I'm from Wackenhut, and you're under
arrest" vs. "You're under arrest. I'm a Whackenut kinda guy, so don't be
pulling any funny stuff, or I WILL!" (3) I found the story of the AZ a
much more moving tale than I did when I was younger. They've got a very
powerful moview, all original footage, that they show you before you
leave for the actual memorial. The man who introduced it is a retired
soldier who was stationed at Schofield Barracks on 12-7-41, and lived
through the aftermath of the attack. (4) The AZ was hit by an
armor-piercing piercing bomb dropped from around 12,000 feet, which had the "luck"
to explode next to the ammunition magazine several decks down. This
magazine contained somewhere around 900 tons of explosives, if I remember
correctly, and somebody was filming the ship at the time it detonated. I
don't know if the sound was added, but the shock and the noise made me
jump embarrassingly (except for the fact that it was dark in the
theater.

[t&l}

THURSDAY AM WHILE GP ABLUTES..........................
There are these very weird ants in Hawaii. Small. Almost micrscopic, even. And they materialize as if by magic as soon as food is put out. I'm used to having to put food away overnight in order to protect it. Here, you can hardly leave the food out during the meal. Yesterday, when he lifted it up to drink, GP's juice glass looked like it had a herd of cows around a feed trough, where they were feasting on the drips. We bought bug spray. So there.
My back is killing me. The bed in which we're sleeping was (in its previous life) a lava flow, but without the soft texture and smooth surface a lava rock bed would provide. At least now I know what I'll look like when I'm dead. Well, minus the red pj's and the pillow between my knees! Your dad took a picture of me asleep the first night, after I'd been up 30 hrs. Two flash photos, and he said I never even twitched. He also CLAIMS that he tried to wake me up when I was breathing so deeply and loudly I sounded like someone coming out of general anesthesia, who got extubated too soon, and couldn't quite yet manage my own respirations. I didn't wake up then, either. In fact, the first thing I remember is that (*&&*^$#% rooster, herald of the morning but nemesis of the day.

I wish I could've gotten a picture of her yesterday, but I saw the woman I would become if I lived here. She was short, had long hair all the way down her back, and was (shall we say?) "full-figured." Too much good food. Too readily available. Too little self-control. A lethal combo. Not only that, but apparently my English would suffer as well. Somebody asked me, "Eh, Susan. What church you go to on Sabbath?" And without hesitation, without thinking, I replied, "We goin' da Japanee chuch." Eeek. I wasn't allowed to speak pidgin when I was little. The English teachers' daughter, you know. Obviously I haven't forgotten...

FRIDAY AFTERNOON WHILE GP SHOWERS......................
Well, I should be able to re-write War and Peace by the time he gets out of bathroom. We sent him in there first, thinking he'd take the longest to get ready. Turns out before he could shower, he was due for an, um, ah, MOVING experience, so 1/2 later there has been no bathing started yet. Hope we get there before all the party-ers fade away. They ARE 68 years old, after all, and can't frolic indefinitely!! Just went and checked again. Nope, no water yet, of either the flushing or tap variety. I'm going to be ticked if we came all the way across the ocean so he could spend the party time in the bathroom.
We were going to tour the north side of the island today but decided to start out at Castle Medical Center, the hospital where I got my first nursing job, as an aide in 1964. Got fired, too, for not working hard enough. I've often wondered what the director of nurses from that era would think if she knew I ended up being a nurse, and for going on 37 years, too. I'm sure if she ever found out, somewhere a pig would fly briefly, just for me. I told the story on Idiotville long ago, but this is the hospital where I was told (as a teenage nurses' aide) to take a rectal temperature on a pt. When I walked in the shades were pulled, so the room was dark. The man was Hawaiian, so he was dark. He'd had a stroke, so he couldn't talk, and was lying on his side with his back to me and his face towards the window. I told him what I was going to be doing, and attempted to insert the thermometer, but couldn't make it go in. Tried again. Same results. He made a funny noise, too, every time I goosed him with the probe. I took it out and looked at it. There was some pasty brown stuff on the tip of the thermometer--looked like poop to me! So I gave it a good shove one more time. "Ga-a-a-a-a-ah!" he said. I gave up and returned to the charge nurse to tell her I was sorry but I was unable to complete my assigned task because I couldn't get the thermometer to go anywhere. She looked at me for a minute and then said, "I'm sorry. I don't know why anybody told you to do that. He's got a colostomy, and doesn't even HAVE a rectum!!!" Let me tell you something. He may not have had a rectum when I started, but he came dang close to having one by the time I was finished!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We visited friends from the 60s, and one of them bought us all lunch at the hospital cafeteria. Mainland hospitals could take LESSONS from this hospital on how to make cafeteria food. They had chickenless drumsticks, flavored with Teriyaki sauce, breaded and deep-fried. Oh my word!!!!!!! I had 3, I'm embarrassed to admit. GP was busy sawing away at one of his with a knife, and sawing, and sawing. Finally one of the former students with whom we were visiting said, "Susan, you need to tell him there's a real stick in the center of that thing." It was about a quarter of an inch thick, too, so he'd have been trying to cut that for a GOOD long time. I just heard he's almost dressed. What I didn't hear was any shower water running. And now it's too late to start over and make him bathe if it turns out he didn't. If he didn't wash, I'm blaming Neak and telling everybody he lives with his granddaughter (on her father's side) and she never makes him bathe so he just got out of the habit. Now he's out, but dressed in the same clothes he was wearing before, and carrying the black pants he was supposed to put on. When I told him he was wearing the wrong outfit, he said, "Well, I can't get dressed IF I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO WEAR, now can I?" I pointed out to him he was carrying in his hands what he was supposed to wear. So he said I didn't tell him. Au contraire, mon pere. Au contraire. Well, I guess I'd better go and start paying attention to what's going on there, or who knows what he'll be wearing when it's time to leave.