We were generally able to be partway on our trip, and too far from home for me to turn back in a huff, before WWIII erupted on any of OUR vacations! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> (It's hard to travel very far in a huff!) This was the first trip I've made with HP in 10 yrs., just because of our incompatible trip styles. I told about it awhile ago so won't repeat myself (I hope). If it had been a travelling trip, where each day we packed up and moved on, I wouldn't have done it even now, since I have so clearly not forgotten the last trek we made. Staying in one place and just making daytime jaunts were what made it feasible for us; that, and the fact that I didn't go anyplace he didn't want to go, even if it interested me, except for that last day of shopping when it was either go alone or not go at all.

Glad you like the pictures. We'll have to get Neak to post a couple of Neaksis' black-and-white, hand-tinted photos. She's really very good, although seems to lack the time to indulge in it these days. For some reason. I don't know why! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

t&l

You must've gone to the same photography school as my late mother. We used to tease her about her pictures, which generally involved chopping the tops off of all the heads of the people she was photographing. You could always pick hers out of any group of family pictures. My idea of photography is to go and get one of those disposable cameras, then take the whole thing to Wal-Mart for developing when I'm done. All the rest of these family members with their big cameras, multiple lenses, and settings are like giant mysteries to me, although I DO enjoy their stuff.

t&l

Not really. Consider it a vent, with you just unfortunately catching a random gust of hot air. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> Besides, faith really is much more about endurance than it is about answers, don't you think?

t&l

That made me laugh, even though what he's doing and where he is aren't funny at all. What is it about guys, anyway? And what is it about girls and military uniforms? And they have to be military...a McDonald's uniform just isn't the same!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

You might as well tattoo it on your bosom! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Whatever happened to these alleged, one-year tours of duty? That's a long, lo-o-o-o-o-o-ong time. Not that you need ME to tell you.

There's a song Bette Midler sang called "The Rose." I've mentioned before, I believe, that the last stanza of that song is what prompted me to put a rose motif on my parents' tombstone. But in one of the other stanzas, there are two lines. The one that goes, "It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot learn to give; and the soul afraid of dying, that never learns to live," reminds me so much of HP. And the one that goes, "It's the heart afraid of breaking, that never learns to dance; and the dream, afraid of waking, that never takes a chance," to me describes MS. The reasons why I'm reminded of each of them in this song, should be obvious to anybody who's been with me through The Sad Saga of OtherSusan the Stupid. I don't think I have to belabor details. But each is, in his own way, insulated from true intimacy with other people, and the fact that each of them chose his own way, doesn't make it any less sad to me that they have thereby deprived themselves of some of the most precious experiences human beings can have.

AW, you've taken the "chance", and there's heartbreaking, and harsh waking up, when a man or woman does that. I tried to tell this to Flard, when he was withdrawing from everybody...not that it seems to have done any good. When you, by opening yourself up to other people, run the risk of, or even have to face directly, times of loss, or pain, or sorrow, you also at the same time expose yourself to opportunities for joy and fulfillment that you would never otherwise have known.

t&l

rotflmao no it isn't.!!

What can I say... I was 16 going on 17, I had NO boyfriend outside of school dances .. wasn't that interested really .. liked sports - netball - and then HE arrives in our lives, albeit on my sisters arm <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

While looking for old photos hoping I HAVEn't thrown them out, I have found THE first postcard he ever sent me
and laughed over it ..it was falling apart and water stained so I scanned it for posterity <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> waaaay back in oh about 1985 I think. He was somewhere overseas 'observing' whatever that really is.

what a card

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

t&l

yes I believe you are right. You do open yourself up and yes you do get hurt. But what is the alternative ?? to live HALF a life?

It may all come back to bite me, I have thrown my life like dice I guess, like most people do, and yes I may loose all or most of what I love. Not sure I could have chosen any other way.

That doesn't mean it hurts any less though.

Life is fragile at the best of times,,,during a war its also expendable.

On a much sadder note, another of Aussies mates was killed today. He was his training officer years ago in the SASR and helped keep Aussie alive in the field when he was wounded.
Davo was 41, a father like Aussie and we had his family here at xmas. I feel very helpless to provide support, don’t know what to say, but I offered, his wife’s sister says its too early just let them grieve for now, she’s looking after them.
It hurts. I used to get angry now I am weary.
I know she’ll look at me and ask herself WHY my husband and not yours? I have no answer or words of wisdom …just a dark thought that thanks God it wasn’t my husband.

Friday is 11 Nov..Rememberance Day.... a very sad song is sung here mainly on this day and the 25th April which is ANZAC Day, called 'The green fields of France' its goes

Did they Beat the drum slowly, did the play the pipes lowly?
Did the rifles fire o'er you as they lowered you down?
Did the bugles sound The Last Post in chorus?
Did the pipes play the Flowers of the Forest?

Did you really believe them when they told you "The Cause?"
Did you really believe that this war would end wars?
Well the suffering, the sorrow, the glory, the shame
The killing, the dying, it was all done in vain,
For Willie McBride, it all is happening again,
And again, and again, and again, and again.

So On Friday Morning myself and my fiery antiwar DD wll go up to the war memorial like we do every year and this year place 3 red poppies on the steps, one for the fallen one for her dad, one for her Jonnie. This year we'll watch her brother march and we'll both pretend we are happy about it for his sake, we'll hold a dawn service mass for the fallen and end it with the Ode for the Fallen ...

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old;
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.

Does it help? not sure maybe like DD says all it does is allow us to accept the unacceptable.

I'm glad Mikey is here, he reminds me what life is really about.
Don't mind me,, just feeling a bit sad tonight. Tomorrows another day, we'll get up and face it like any other.

It's the middle of the "night" for me, but I'm up and awake and on my way to the Dr.'s office with Neak, who is spotting and cramping. We'll let you all know later what happens.

t&l

Hope it's nothing a little rest won't cure!

Good Lord. I think I just had a heart attack. Let me know what happened and what the doctor said! Man... I didn't realize how just that little "newsflash" freaked me out... I'm already crying.

Before I run off and hide, thanks for the package... it came Sabbath when I was exhausted and sad <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I skipped church <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> and your package came during the middle of when I should have been listening to the sermon. I ate all the chocolates in one day, with a bit of help from my roommate. She thanks you too <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> THe pineapple is gone except for five slices, which is MINE MINE MINE! Thank you again. I'll thank you more later, but right now my hollow thanks seem absurd, but I do know I'm more sensitive about cramping and spotting while pregnant than normal people. Love to all.

Prayers going up for baby and Neak.

The Neaklet has died. I don't know any more details than that. Thank you for your prayers.

t&l

Oh no!!! Oh t&l please give my love and hugs to Neak and AJ. Oh no! I will definitely continuing praying for your family. I am so, so, so sorry.

Oh no, nooooooooo. More prayers for Neak and family.

Just on for a moment to say thank you. We are broken-hearted but strong in faith.

I dread tomorrow. They will induce labor.

It ought to start getting better after that, the worst.

Thank you again for the prayers and support.

They're going to let me leave work early in a few minutes. I'm car-less, but the husband of one of the nurses who lives out near us just stopped by, and will take me home. We sent a lot of people home and delivered the others, so I got permission to leave.

Let me clarify just briefly. Neak was not in labor. The bleeding and the cramping had stopped by the time we got here. I checked her and her cervix was closed, so I was feeling very happy. But then I turned on the ultrasound machine to look at the baby and see if we could figure out the gender while we waited for the MD, and when I did, there was no obvious cardiac activity. I could only clearly identify her (rapid, in the fetal heart rate range) pulse with the Doppler, even though I listened all over her abdomen. She wasn't in labor. She was in no danger of miscarriage. She "just" had a dead baby, although how and why is unknown at this point.

When I leave work I'm going to her house, since she's started bleeding again, this time without cramping yet, and doesn't want to run the risk of this happening at home without someone there with her. Thank you for your prayers for their family.

t&l

Prayers for you all.

KPB brought me to your house, but the gate was locked, and that chain link looked awfully high and scrawny for me to be climbing 6 ft. up and over, in the rain. It looked to me like everybody was asleep. The lights were all out, and nobody seemed to notice the car brights shining in the bedroom window. I hated to wake you up if you'd actually gotten to sleep, so I came to your sister's house and woke her up instead. Actually, Finley woke her up howling after I tapped on the window. Call me if you need me; I'm only a couple of minutes away.

Love you--

s

Dear Neak

I only just heard the very sad news and I want to let you know like many here I have got to know you a little through your writings & posts and from your mum & AJ and I just want you to know I care & so want to express my sympathy.

I have some inkling of what this is for you.. I wish I could do something but I am so far away.

My love and prayers go to you, AJ, your family, sister & Mum and all who will feel the pain. May God guard you and guide you over the next days and weeks to come.

AW