FF--LOVED the puns. Tell Starz they were great. I didn't realize until I was at my grandma's funeral, listening to my dad give the eulogy, that this family love of puns goes back at least 3 generations. Neakbro despises puns, and even so, sometimes one will come along in his fevered little mind that is so irresistible that even he is just COMPELLED to say it anyway. Then he always hates himself afterwards, which makes the pun even funnier than it wouldn've been without all that self-loathing. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

t&l

No, it wasn't last year. The last time a mother smothered her baby with her nipple was about 8-10 years ago. Same NICU nurse on that night, too. In fact, she and I have reminisced about it every now and again over the years. The last time we remembered together, it was not too long ago, either.

There were 5, I repeat, FIVE women in that room back then--2 grandmas, 2 aunties, and the new mother...all happily chatting away while the baby suffocated at the breast. And nobody noticed. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> It's not actually my job to watch the baby. The nursery nurse is the hoverer-in-chief for the newborns. The only reason I even looked up close at the baby last night is because I like to do breastfeeding teaching, and help women succeed at nursing, and so I'd just taken a peak those 3 brief minutes before to see how the little sucker was doing. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

In the one that happened awhile back, there was no reason whatsoever for me to go into the room when I did. Maybe my guardian angel booted me in the rear. I don't know. I was busy getting things ready to transfer her out, and only had a few minutes left to go. I LIKE getting 'em discharged after delivery, so it's very unlike me to go in to chat for no reason whatsoever, at that point. But with no purpose in mind, and right when I was busiest, I just "decided" to go in and check on things. That was one purple baby, let me tell you. Even worse than last night's, if the truth be told. Perhaps the reason my friend responded so quickly last night to my calling ( <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />) her name, is because she recognized the tone, the resonance, the timbre, the deep-hearted sincerity from the time before!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

As I was leaving this morning, I crossed paths with one of the NICU nurses in the nurses' lounge while we were changing out of our scrubs. I don't know her well at all, not even her name, but when she saw me she laughed, and said, "Well, at least now we know you can run!" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> Did I run? I didn't even know it...

t&l

P.S. The other baby was found in the nick of time, too, and came 'round beautifully after my NICU friend bapped it around a bit. At least last night's family said, "Thank you," which is more than the other group ever did. When they said how much they appreciated me, I told them to thank Auntie, because she's the one who actually saved him. All I did was yell for help, and, apparently, run. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

URGENT MESSAGE FOR THE MESSAGE BOARD

Please assist Neaksis in shaking down Mr. Shadowofeyebrows for fireworks. This is strictly precautionary, but it says much about my state of mind that I would leave the box of fireworks out by the door for the last two nights he spent here.

Sick and all, AJ is more alert to that or I wouldn't have realized it yet.

I didn't see any news reports of Elmshaven going up in flames. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

Aren't all of you glad you don't live at my house?

Yes, I am, and I'm your own mother!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

t&l

P.S. Is there some reason why Mr. Computer and the Dervish aren't also suspects? I expect your whole county to go up in flames tonight. I'm turning on the fans extra loud, just in case! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

A very good reason: if they had taken any, and we don't know for sure that any was taken, the whole county would already have gone up in flames. They are not patient pyros. No sooner conceived than executed.

I'm not sure we can actually execute them. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> People can get themselves in enough trouble these days with a simple spanking!!!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

t&l

OK, a friend sent me this joke in an email. Can you make divorce jokes on the MB site, if it's really a joke? I guess we'll find out! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />


A couple in Phoenix have two children. The children tell their folks that they're too busy to make it Phoenix to visit over the holidays, even if their tickets are paid for them by mom and dad. The man calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay" he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

t&l

Morning!!

something to wake you up with...

A soldier stationed in the Southern Iraq wrote to his wife in Australia to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free time and keep his mind off of the local women & the BIG knives their brothers & fathers carried.

The wife complied and sent the best one she could find, along with several dozen lessons & music books.

Rotated back home, he rushed to their home and thru the front door. "Oh darling" he gushed, "Come here... let me look
at you... let me hold you ! Let's have a fine dinner out, then make love all night. I've missed your lovin' so much !"

The wife, keeping her distance, said, "All in good time lover boy. First, let's hear you play that damn harmonica while you strip and there had better not be any knife scars!!!!"
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Maybe we could send harmonicas to the troops for Christmas as a little morale booster.

Morning to you, too, AW, although I doubt by now it's morning any more in Australia. Lately, it seems to me that if it mostly weren't for you and FF (with an occasional note from Believer), this thread would be an awfully quiet place. I see that people are reading but almost nobody's talking back! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> I'm start to feel like the Lone Haranguer in the Wizard of Id comic strip. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> You'd think all those years of close living with the Great Clam would've prepared me, but no, as I said before, I still don't like being surrounded by silence. To me, silence feels like abandonment, even if I tell myself it isn't really so. Which is NOT to say, or even imply, that it's anybody else's job to try and make me feel un-abandoned, or anything else. What I feel is my own responsibility, as is what I do about it. But even when I'm using my actual mouth, with audible words coming out of it, I'm not much for talking when nobody else is talking back. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> on monologues!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hope you have a nice day. It's my last day of no-work before I start back to my 72 hrs/wk. schedule again, so I'm going to do something really special for myself...and try and make the most of this opportunity to clean the house. You don't think that's "special"? I guess it just depends on your definition of "is," to quote America's FormerFearlessLeader. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Well it couldn't actually do any harm could it.

They are far enough away from civilisation that no one would hear them play...might even encourage the terrorist to give up ........we stop them playing they stop the bombing. lol
if it was so easy!!

I was reading another thread here where a H just returned from Iraq and was being a right so & so, not adjusting well, and of course the other side of the coin the W not wanting to give up the control she had while he was away..you know go back to POJA and talking about things. Hard times reunions.

You go from the heights of happiness to wanting the SOB to be back in a sand pit somewhere - usually head first - at a moments notice. Then back again.
I have to admit it worries me a fair bit because Mikey will have to come first now. I know it doesn't sound right but his welfare paramount. I think up scenarios & try to work out what I would do.
Hopeless.

Of course the obvious question is why even think about that now...you've got months. True. But thinking about and planning things like that helps keep the more negative thoughts away.
Especially when you're alone except for a little baby.
work is actually a blessing - of course you don't need to tell Aussie he was right about that one <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

You hear very little, what you do can cause you more worry than reassurance.
AND you start getting very paranoid about the door bell ringing - I've taken mine off - don't know why I think it would alter anything but I began jumping every darn time it rang even worse than last time.

Then there are times I can get immense amusement at what I'm doing and think''What a loon!! Mad as a cut snake" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Aussie told me once that he was on a plane seated next to a very experienced Warrant Officer waiting to do his first night jump fresh from Jump School.
He was quiet and said he must of looked a bit pale so the WO struck up a conversation.
"Scared, Lieutenant?", he was asked.
Aussie replied, "No, just a bit apprehensive."
The WO asked, "What's the difference??"
Aussie said, "That means I'm sh*t scared with a university level education."
Thus was born a ‘mateship’ that perhaps only Aussie men can truly understand <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />


Now a real Army joke ......

Q. Why was the Marine Corps created ?
A. So, the sailors would have someone to dance with!


<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

more lightheartedness for neak:

Who, me? Tell a man he was right? About anything? Without threat of my own imminent, personal destruction? Surely you jest!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Hi T&L,
It's good to "see" you this morning.

To me, silence feels like abandonment, even if I tell myself it isn't really so. Which is NOT to say, or even imply, that it's anybody else's job to try and make me feel un-abandoned, or anything else.

No, you are not abandoned. And I am very sorry if it feels like it. Perhaps it's not our job personally to make you feel loved and cared for, but if we CAN help, we will.

My Job has taken me away from my desk quite a bit lately. I don't type much when I'm away, and when I come back I get to catch up on my desk work before I do much else.

What I feel is my own responsibility, as is what I do about it. But even when I'm using my actual mouth, with audible words coming out of it, I'm not much for talking when nobody else is talking back.

I have thought a lot about you, and the clam. I still think there are possibilities. I read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" and I learned a lot about the way my W and I interact. Some of the problems between us are gender differenes. She tries to talk when I want to think. (Or vegitate - sometimes the same thing with me.)

You tried so hard, for so long, and you put so much into it, that you are gun shy now. (MY opinion - I admit.)

I believe there are still things to learn, and try. I wish HP would get with the program, I would almost bet money he is not happy with the status quo either. Were he to read a self help book and ask to talk to you about it, I hope it would not cut short your life from a surprise heart attack.

OK, I jest, but I still think there are things to try. If I am right, God will be working on your mind about this. Things will come to you, and when you hear outisde suggestions, they will either be flat and lifeless to your mind, or the spirit will enlighten your mind, and you will consider them and they will stay in your mind, and not leave you alone.

Hope you have a nice day. It's my last day of no-work before I start back to my 72 hrs/wk. schedule again, so I'm going to do something really special for myself...and try and make the most of this opportunity to clean the house. You don't think that's "special"? I guess it just depends on your definition of "is," to quote America's FormerFearlessLeader. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I hope your rest has helped.

Have things been normal - same old thing - since you came home from Hawaii? Any observations for us?

One more thing about posting -
I tend to read, and then think a while before I post.

Oh, sometimes I just wing it, but the more I get to know people, the more I tend to think before I write. Sometimes after thinking, I figure it better to just keep quiet, that I can't add anything to the discussion. I learned from "Mars, Venus" that this is my male nature - to keep quiet, when I could offer support by saying something. Even though I know it, it's still hard to do what seems unatural for me.

I learn, but changing myself comes slowly.

Boy, when I talk, I really talk, don't I.

The bottom line for this post, is that you have friends, even if we are silent ones some days. People love you, and care about you. You are loveable - do you know that?

Now, both of us have work to do - I'll see you later.

SS

CSue,
I wrote you a really long post on this thread the 4th of Nov.

I would guess my timing was not the best, and you missed it.

SS

AW,
This one is for you.
I see where you were doing family research. Sometimes I think of the chain of people that have combined to make ME - and when I saw this poem on a desk I passed, I wrote it down. Don't know the author.

What Lasts?

Ice cream melts
Flowers wilt
The leaves of Autum fall.

Sunsets fade
Seasons change
and children don't stay small.

Balloons pop
Snowfalls stop
Do summers last? Never.

Weekends fly
Today will die
But Families are forever



Hope you are doing well -

SS

Neak,
Still thinking about, and praying for you.
Without the bitter, we couldn't have the sweet.
I hate saying that on the heals of something bitter, but it's true.

May this coming year be sweet for you, and yours.

SS

Faithful,
Love the humor - and BTW, you are loveable too - you should know that.

SS

t&l,

quit complaining!!!!!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

You KNOW we read, but you are doing fine all by yourself! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I don't have much time lately, which is great <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Means I'm happy and busy.

I can't access MB at work, I can only read the threads I have sent tomy e mail address and that's not all the time, because I'm busy, and my computer is broken so I have to borrow someone else's.

Then when I get home I sometimes have to cook... not that I do that VERY often lately. I also have to play tumblebugs <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I've been stuck on level 8 for more than a months now, can you imagine how frustrating that is! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Anyway, I do read. Lately I don't have much to say. The "other" (yours) part of our family has been the one making news <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

My sister is visiting from USA on sunday for 3 weeks, I have a work related trip in 10 days, then another in 20 days and my brother + family is visiting from USA for 3 weeks for Xmas.

My brother has 4 children, the eldest (13) and the youngest (2)are both severely disabled <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> They haven't come home since they left 9 years ago. Most of the family has visited them briefly on trips but they don't really have a good relationship with anyone, so it will be a "difficult" visit here to say the least. A lot of emotional issues to manage.

But family is family and we will all try our best. I hope.