Oh, and Mom, all of your last 3 pictures were the unflattering pose of you. You must have liked it more than you let on. Perhaps I can help you fix it later.

hi neak

I'd love that !!!


hahahaha that would be so funny to see.

What is his occupation?

A kindergarten grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"

Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."

"That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?"

Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."

"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"

Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy murders people, steals from them, womanises and drinks."

The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.

Billy's father said, "I'm actually a Member of Parliament. But how can I explain a thing like that to a five year old?"
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Ahhhhh. I am now no longer on the laptop-that-dies-without-warning, and can stretch my posts out a little longer with only a small fear of losing them. (We have been having a tiny power outage every day or two this week, but hopefully the one earlier this afternoon was it for a little while.)

SS, what has happened is bittersweet, not only bitter. The loss is dreadful, and walking around looking normal while the bank tellers have no idea I should be fat and round and happy. But on the other side, my baby is forever out of the reach of Stan and his sidekicks. I have the sure promise of a reunion someday. "I know Whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have committed unto Him against that day."

I'm not totally sure how I'm doing. It has been a week since the burial, and right at the moment seem to be in an uncomfortably numb phase. I think it would be pretty easy to penetrate that to the hurt underneath.

Last night AJ was playing some music on a computer program, and when he made the kids sing "Awesome God" I couldn't help but joining in. It was so uplifting, and I felt my first surge of joyous transport since all this happened. I haven't been able to sing much, but have enjoyed listening.

And the improvements I brought about in the appearance of my house today also lifted my spirits a bit, as long as I don't try to stand up. (I think I overdid it a little.) The rooms, mine especially are still awful, but the publicly viewable areas have gone from terribly humiliating to moderately disgraceful, and a few spots approaching tepidly acceptable. Housework is not my specialty even at the best of times, but when the kids have had the run of things for almost 2 weeks it piles up reely reely fast. I have seen many tidier pigs.

I'm kinda hungry. I wish I had my pies made already.

If Mom finks out, I can always tell you about my lunchtimes in second grade. Now I am smiling, too.

A-dub, that is so funny. I kind of know how Billy felt. The kids at school would look at me with kind of a horrified respect upon finding that my mom was a L&D nurse. And after the time I got to personally examine a placenta there was no containing my ego.

SS and cc, nice to hear from you again. It reminded me of the good old days when I got to do fun stuff (pre-marriage, pre-children). We used to go to our aunt's house during the summer to go swimming.

Heck, It's supposed to be even more fun ( I almost said "funner") AFTER you get married. What's the deal here Neak?

Sure there's work, and stuff like that....... you sound like you like to have fun. Am I missing something?
(OK, I'm teashing you, but only half teasing.)

We played Marco Polo too - you should try it now - but not with kids, they are too fast.

Kids must be sleeping, giving you that elusive "personal time?"

I believe in baby sitters. Makes for such improved dates.
Back when you were single, and had fun ....... sheesh.

Ok, I'll stop.

Night all, SS has to make an early start tomorrow.

Yes to sleeping children. Resounding yes to loving babysitters!!!

No one with a Dervish can have too much fun. On any outing, there is the designated funhaver who does stuff with all the other kids, and the prison guard - usually me - who keeps the Dervish from immolation. The prison guard gets to have some fun, too, but on such a different plane from normal human existence. Eternal and unblinking vigilance is the key to a successful mission. Fun is incidental.

When AJ and I get to dump the kids on Neaksis and take off, that is just wonderful. In the years post-Dervish, I have felt a growing sympathy for Horton the Elephant's Maizy Bird.

Good night, SS, hope you have a good early start tomorrow.

Well I'm not really doing FUN stuff, mostly I'm working but I'm starting to enjoy it and even finding it fun when it is. My problem was I COULDN'T enjoy it before, but I'm starting to.

Only different thing this week was that I decided to go to the movies and since it was a french movie with no violance I invited WH's 85 year old aunt!

I love this old lady and she's sort of lonely because most of her family doesn't live permanently in the city. The film was nice.

With my sister here there is sure to be a lot to do. Unfortunately not all will be fun. One of our aunts is dying, and she may finally go any time now.

I've already asked my sister to talk to dds about WH. Just to make sure everything is OK.

Those are the plans for the next few days <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I did NOT like it more than I let on. I think your father and his camera are a menace to society, and should be stopped before he can photograph again! Fortunately, my sense of annoyance at the absolutely stupid pictures he took was far outweighed by my sense of amusement at the absolutely stupid pictures he took. At least nobody can say I try to put on my best face all the time! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />


I fixed it myself, thank you very much, at 2:30 AM when I couldn't sleep any more, and while I waited for the Bendaryl to kick in. Funny thing, though, Ms. Neak, since I'd had so much trouble getting them posted the first (second, third, fourth <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />) time, before I finally posted those pix I checked all 4 of them to make sure I had them right. AND I DID!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> So unless the computer has finally progressed to the point that it has found a way to mess me up when I'm not even in the same house with it, I think somebody is changing things around and trying to play with my mind by making me think I did it myself! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> What do you think of my theory?

I'm not sleepy yet, but I'm cold, so I don't think I'll be sitting here much longer.

I think life was more fun before marriage, too, although I was surprised to hear Neak say it--"out loud," at least. I think the whole prison warden thing is starting to get to her. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> And after galloping after the Dervish for what seemed like hours at the frigid edge of the Pacific, to keep him from disappearing joyfully into the gigantic oncoming waves, she has all my sympathy, too! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I yawned. That's good enough for me!

t&l

You speak French, too?! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> What a very good person you must be. I've gotten in sufficient trouble, over my lifetime, in English alone. I shudder to think what I could've done if I were actually multi-lingual! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Actually it was french canadian and their accent was a bit difficult for me to understand. But I do speak french although I prefer not to have to, I'm rusty. But I should understand it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

It was funny that they seem to have incorporated english words into their french and a "job" was just "job". Took me a while t pick that up. Luckily they were worried about "jobs".

I can't take auntie to see movies about violence or sex and we don't like movies about infidelity <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> so there's not much we can go see together.

She actually had a great 40+ year marriage but her eldest son (she has 2) had a very bad marriage but he never divorced, and his wife was very resentful towards him and his whole family for years until she committed suicide. Her 2 kids are very messed up.

The son had an OC and multiple OWs. Auntie only found out about the OC a couple of years ago when the OC was already about 18 years old!

He has now remarried, of course. I feel sorry for him because I sincerely thnk he "believed" it was better not to divorce and have his needs met elsewhere. reality is that it might have been better for him, and the kids for sure and maybe even for her if they had got divorced years ago.

It's all very tragic. And auntie has to deal with that plus her suicidal grandchild and the other antisocial one. She doesn't practice Tough Love

hi gang

cc so envious you understand french ...I can fumble my way around the written word a bit - very little bit - but forget speaking it..... far too irish for that me girl. Aussie is not too bad even if accent is shocking ...... oh the Foreign Legion would love him!

Of course I have enough trouble understanding Aussie in any accent at times. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Love the pics, t&l especially the really flattering pose, LOL

Ok, gonna go feed DS and get ready for our grocery shopping outing! Sounds like an exciting weekend doesn't it? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Where Great Hawaiian Clams went when they died....

t&l

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> I mean, what makes a guy look at that through the camera lens, say to himself, "What a great shot. Let's immortalize it for posterity!" (or would that posteriority?), and go, "Click"? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Mmmmmmmmmmmm and you haven't worked this one out yet ?????

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I think people (that would pretty much include all of us) get bogged down in their personal issues and problems, and start thinking of themselves as especially unlucky, or burdened, or even cursed, and never really look around at others, or realize how many share our difficulties (or worse!), and feel overwhelmed by their struggles. I think about this often at church when someone tells about a problem and asks for prayer...because to look at them, they just seem like someone who's got everything going for them. Nice clothes. Well-groomed. Happy smile. Job, house, car--you name it. All the outward accoutrements of success and well-being. And inside, some very difficult and often bitter crosses which they bear, too often alone because everybody's judging the facade, and too self-absorbed to take the time to get behind the public front and find out who the real person is, and how they can help. And the fact that I'm very bogged down in myself right now, and fixated on my own crisis, doesn't in any way detract from the sincerity of my belief that we're too focused on ourselves too much of the time! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />


You know what's the problem with Tough Love? It's tough on the people practicing it, too--maybe even tougher than it is on the one being practiced on (who thinks it's plenty tough enough!). <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Testy-tosterone is a tough language to understand, for girls. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Ah, yes, girls I forgot to tell you how I left your father tonight. No, not that kind of "left!" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> I mean, what he was doing as I walked out the door. He was playing his new electric guitar, HOOKED UP TO THE AMPLIFIER!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> He says he's going to bring it to Sabbath School next time he comes to the children's division and plays for song service. I told him if it sounded like what he was playing right then, he'd blow the whole group right out the door, and he said he really didn't have the amplifier turned up very high yet. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> All I can say is he'd better not be practicing that thing while I'm trying to sleep. I don't know of ANY fans that are loud enough to drown it out!

I did tell him that when he got to the point that he was ready to make like a rock star, leap into the air with his guitar, and come down into the splits, I'd pay real money for the chance to see it!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> And I would, too! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

t&l

I understand that oh so well. One day one of our members said to me in from of stbx/wh that I have a wonderful H and all I could do is smile and nod all the while thinking what if you knew about the affairs and the OC etc.. would you still say that? Most people have NO idea we are even divorcing. Since my kids don't know yet most others don't either. I never doubt any more that just because people look happy on the outside that they are dealing with their own problems and internal demons in life.

I think, t&l that is what allows us to be empathetic and sympathetic even when our own lives are full of pain.

Mmmmmmmmmm
well this is what I have worked out so far .....

"I'M GOING FISHING" Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand & fart, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

IT'S A BLOKE THING" Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".

"CAN I HELP WITH TEA?" Means: "Why isn't it already on the bloody table?"

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND." Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra, and that blonde ........ ."

"TAKE A BREAK SWEETY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD". Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, LOV." Means: "Why are you still talking?"

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING". Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty damn soon."

"UH HUH," "SURE, LOV," OR "YES, DEAR..." Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" Means: "I have no idea how it works but I'm not telling you that....ever."

"I CAN'T FIND IT." Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" Means: "What did you catch me at & who can I blame it on?"

"I HEARD YOU." Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE." Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be a whole lot worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC." Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving already."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." Means: "I don’t care if no one will ever see us alive again, I’m not going to ask for directions."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK." Means: "I make the mess, she cleans it up."

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." Means: "I remember the theme song to Saturday Football, the address of the first girl I ever bonked, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES". Means: "The girl selling them on the corner was real cute and had big tits."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL." Means: "I have actually severed a limb, it will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."
.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />