Neak - this one's for you. Of course, everyone can read it, but I am writing it mostly in response to things you have said. This is not to teach you something new, that you need to learn. I understand that you already know now, what I learned then, and I am not trying to teach you a new concept. I just wanted you to know that others understand.

I read the account of your trials with the baby. I read about your getting the car fixed that day, and finding out about the free battery installation. I read your timeline from last spring, and summer, and it reminded me of a story of my own that you might identify with. I hope you don't mind me telling it, and I hope it will help you with your struggles too.

Perhaps it would be good to give a little background. We have struggled with having enough money for most of our marriage. It's much better now, in fact we are getting ready to buy a "brand new" couch for our home. It will be the first nice new couch for us in our marriage, and we have been married for nearly 29 years. We get a lot of "hand me downs." I love it, because when you don't have much it is so nice of people to share things they no longer need or want. I remember the first coat I got new when I was a boy - I was 12 years old, and I got it for Christmas. The outer material was black vinyl, and it said "St Moritz" on the front. It made an impression on me that has stayed with me - My first coat that was all my own. I would guess many will identify with me in this.

Along about 15 years ago, we wrecked our car. It looked a lot like HP's truck. I rolled it coming back from the mountains. It was snowing hard, and an on coming car was taking up my lane, so I started to pull off the road to let it by. When I hit the shoulder, it was soft mud, and it caught the wheel, and we rolled over once, and back on the wheels. Just enough to total it - I had only been going 25 miles per hour. The other car traveled on, probably didn't even see us roll.

No one was hurt - there are some blessings even in disasters. So, now our family of 8 is without a car. (We didn't have the twins yet then.) We thought this a crisis.

A good friend whose wife worked for a used car dealership had just gotten a car in trade. They couldn't afford to pay her, so they gave her a car that didn't run, in trade for what they owed her. Then they promptly went out of business. My friend was not impressed.

I worked in a camping store, and he offered me the car for some coats, and things for his kids for Christmas. Since I had an auto mechanics background, I consented to take the Volkswagen rabbit in trade for the things he wanted. We took the car home and tried to figure out what was wrong with it. Over time we fixed the problems, and it became our only vehicle. One day the water pump started leaking, and needed to be replaced. It was parked at our apartment building and took it apart there in the parking lot. I could not get the new water pump back in to the same spot that the old one had come out of. Small space, big hands - bolt that just wouldn't go in the bolt hole. I think I worked on that one bolt for about 45 minutes. I was to the point of tears. There I lay, on my back, tired, and sore, and I couldn't fix it. Of course, no money to take it to someone else either. I was thinking about my options, and I couldn't see any. No car, and no chance to fix it either.
It was then that I heard some one laughing at me. Make no mistake, I knew it was directed at me. I couldn't see around the tire, so I scooted out from under the car, and there was no one there. No one at all. I heard the laughter again, and in my minds eye, I could see the Savior looking at me, and laughing - a big belly laugh, not a little chuckle. I laid back down, confused.

He laughed, and he told me - you take some things way to seriously. One little problem, and you are ready to give up. (this conversation took place in my minds eye, but the laugh was out loud)

I laid under the car with my eyes shut, and I listened to him. He continued to gently teach me. Life is not meant to be easy - it's a test, not a vacation. (these are not his exact words.) You are going to have trials, but you need to have faith, and trust me to take care of you. I understand how you feel, but you are OK - think about your life a little bit. You have enough to eat, and a warm place to sleep. You have clothes, and your children are safe. You have friends and family that love you. There is no danger of you being homeless, or of you starving.
WHAT ARE YOU SO WORRIED ABOUT?
WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY, AND FRUSTRATED?

It was not a long conversation. I realized I was a very lucky man, blessed beyond my own (poor) understanding. He told me I ought not to worry about such small things (I am sure he used the word "small".)

I lay under the car for a long time thinking. I thought about the night spent in the garden when blood flowed from every pore. I thought about the scriptures we have that foretold his coming - " But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed."
I thought about what he had told me -
More thoughts.......... the trial, the crown of thorns, the cross - and his Father, leaving him, letting him pass his own test and watching him qualify, as he knew he would.

I thought about his words from the book of John " These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."

He has overcome the world. He died, but now he lives. He experienced it all, he knows how I feel. He understands my suffering - small compared to his. So small, yet so important to me then, and so important to him that I learn, and understand.

I know you know.
Yet, even when we know, it helps to understand that others know too, and that they care about us. Our feelings, our stress, our frustration, our trials. Yours are real, they are important - he cares about you personally. Many others of us do also.

I thought it strange, the way he called me out of my misery. Looking back I see he knows best. He always knows best.

I don't know how long this life will last for me, or what it will bring.

I do know he will be there, that he will not fail me or forsake me. I think you know the same, I think your mother knows it also.

Please understand, Your trials are not small, but his power to heal is large ehough for them too. It is differet, but it is the same. I sincerely doubt you will find him laughing at you, but his help will be the right thing, at the right time, as it was for me.

May you find rest these next few weeks. May he lift your burdens, calm your mind, and soothe your spirit.

SS

That was beautiful, SS. Thank you for sharing it. I always like to be reminded of things, even if I already knew them. You are so right that it matters to remember again that He cares, and that others care.

In some ways it is difficult facing a season that is all about a pregnant woman having a Baby, when I should be pregnant but am not.

But what I cling to is that that Baby came to give my baby life, along with all those who love His appearing.

I am so blessed. I have my family and all of you, we are safe and warm and dry, and I have so many hand-me-downs that I can hand my hand-me-downs down again. (I love hand-me-downs, and understand perfectly the delight of just once in a while having something all-new, like my special Christmas coat from AJ.)

We are well.

Just a funny little story to illustrate my cheese-paring ways.

Yesterday, AJ ripped my undies off me.

Please don't feel the need to close your eyes. He was not overcome with passion, at least not of that variety.

My undies have gotten to be in a rather sad condition. Mom got me a few pairs for my anniversary present, which is why I even have any decent ones left. The couple of pairs I had broken down and gotten at Wal Mart for $1.50/ea had met sad fates. Neaksis' dog chewed one pair, and the other I ruined the day I found out the baby died, because I could not bear to try and clean them.

So....I was wearing one of my less optimal pairs. They were pretty enough, and you couldn't see any of the holes, but I had not noticed that their condition had deteriorated to the point where one side strap was reduced to a single thread.

AJ noticed.

R-R-R-R-I-I-I-I-I-I-P-P-P-P!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As he threw them trimphantly in the garbage, he announced that he was going to get me some more undies come Friday. So like it or not, I am going to get something else new.

Morning all!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

ok evening for many of you.

CHildren chilren everywhere not a place to hide!!! thats my house this morning.

The first day of school holidays wher for 8 'blessed' weeks the anklebiters are home usually with mum NON STOP.

We have Lisa neice, Sean Nephew, Lisa & Tom friends children while their Mum & Dad are in China with grandparents, and of course bright smiley Mikey who thinks that all these kids coming up and tickling him is the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Of course the down side is they the house just rings with that particular level of screeching that only young children can produce. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />


Neak if I watch that stupid show again ..just boot me..lol

Now I watch the history channel, or the Crime channel or news channel or cooking channel .... reading a lot of books these days.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Oh sure neak ......... what an excuse!! lol <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

next you will be telling me Santa is going to bring me Aussie home for Xmas ...darn that would be a big stocking wouldn't it?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Last night watched a program called 'Wild Sex' - no don’t get excited - it was a science program discussing sexual behaviour in the animal kingdom & then comparing to Human behaviour.

What was interesting and rather sad was the latest report from the University of Queensland - only 2 weeks old - which was an AUSTRALIA wide survey of 100,000 adults in the work place ......... 41% have had or were having workplace affairs with a fellow married worker BUT less than 20% of those persons actually ever admitted to their husband or wife that they had cheated. Most of those were a result of being caught. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

There was no difference in % numbers of those cheating between men or women. AND there was little or no remorse in most of those surveyed. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

What was interesting in a sad way was that those few who actually ended up divorced over the affairs - & it was only a few which would seem to back up Harleys own observations - and then married or went to live with the person they cheated with, were SO SO shocked to find this person cheated on THEM!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

They couldn’t UNDERSTAND how they could do that to them???? What the ??????
It was like watching DUMB and DUMBER in real life.
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Big stocking - ROFLTIC

So, SS, did you fix your vehicle? Or just gain insight? Not that insight's a bad thing, but you still can't drive it to the store! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Neak, your story of your undies ( <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />) reminds me of your GP and GM. He always hated it that she'd wear her nylons with runs in the toes or up high under her skirt where they didn't show. It wasn't till they actually peeked out into public that she'd throw the things away. Some of his bitterest complaints ever heard came as he watched her put one of those ratty pairs on her body. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Again. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Glad the fog post was well-received. I found it deliciously-ironic, myself. I woke up today trying frantically to get everybody on the cruise ship before it sailed, and we weren't ready, and everybody wasn't there on time, and I was supposed to work and be on the ship at the same time. And for some odd reason, we weren't taking Neaksis and her kids. I have no idea why. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> I was overjoyed to wake up, frankly, and quit the useless scurrying, even if it was still foggy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Hi AW. Never saw that show. After Viet Nam and MS, I never liked war movies again...and that's been 40+ years. I like to watch "Headlines" on Monday night on the Tonight Show (10 minutes of language bloopers <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />), and American's Funniest Home Videos (an hr. of men falling down and getting hit in the crotch--my kind of show! OK, to be fair children women, and animals fall down, too, but it's the doubling-over/Aie-e-e-e-e-e stuff that really cracks me up! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />) Don't like drama. There's enough of that each month in paying my bills and balancing my check book. You're not helping anything by stirring up your anxieties. If the truth were told, anxieties have their own stick, and stir themselves up enough without any help from anybody else! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Well, HP is home. Guess I should go pay some attention him. Besides, he's got 2 pairs of pants he wants fixed, and it would be well-received if I took the orange thread out of my machine and repaired his stuff. Although the orange thread would have a interesting effect. Hm-m-m-m-m. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Hi tL

well, yes you are 100% correct.

I had this strange thought it would help .... of course after I puked seeing Saving private Ryan I should have known better.

Watching ELGaziah news was/is bad enough ...its like you dont want to hear it but are uncontrollably drawn to it.

Dont buy newspapers now, no radio news, just the odd TV news.

Like if I dont hear it or see it it didn't happen. Denial is a BIG river in Egypt. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

ok off with the kids to the park ... time to terrorise the neighbourhood and lower house values <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

You don't know how good it is to find out that we're not the only ones who depreciate property values by our mere presence! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

T&L,
After thinking for a while, I picked up the bolt and tried it again. It went right in the first time. I think I was completely finished with clean up and everything within 15 minutes after that. After assembly, It worked correctly, with no other problems.

I learned a great deal from that - more than at first meets the eye. I think you know what I mean.

I get a great deal more help now, then I used to get. It is much needed, and much appreciated.

Faith is an interesting thing. It requires us to learn about God, but it also requires us to learn about ourselves.

I am hoping and praying your troubles are resolved in a pleasing manner.

SS

Well, shortly I'm going to be off to the doctor to ask her about the problem I'm not supposed to describe even on the feminine hygiene products list, and I'm sure I'm not supposed to mention that I had to wear a diaper last night so I wouldn't have to keep getting up.

It occurs to me that for anyone reading this who didn't see my previous questions, that sentence might give a wrong impression. Just in case anyone like that wonders, I am not incontinent, either accidentally or on purpose.

I am sure I don't have an infection, though I do have a splitting headache this morning. Other than that, we'll see what the doc has to say.

Keep it up. If you can get it cheap enough around there we could afford to move over and be neighbors. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Don't let her kid you. Leaks like a drippy faucet, that girl does! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> I'd be more critical, but coming from me, that would be like the pot calling the kettle damp! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

At least I know, since you're online chatting about your issues, that you didn't bleed to death during the night. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> I'll be up by 1100 so you can call me if you need to be admitted to the hospital. I'll just walk to Stockton and pick up the kids if you need me to! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> (It's 30+ miles. That was a joke. So was the part about involuntary emission of one's kidney products. At least for her anyway! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />)

t&l

Well, I could just picture everyone picturing me lying there in bed. "I really need to go to the bathroom. I ought to get up, but I sure don't want to. Sigh. Oh! Wait! I have a diaper on tonight! Whew. ...............................Ahhhhhhhh."

The bedding was saved, but not my clothes. Maybe I should have just slept in a plastic bag.

Good guess that I didn't bleed to death during the night. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I know. I thought about the interesting mental image you presented. How lazy would you have to be to do that? At 34? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />



You know, wee should just go ahead and dance naked for everyone. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Goodness knows these unfortunate people have already seen everything else! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Um, that should be "we", not "wee". <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> Sounds too moist. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

t&l

[i][b]I'M THIRTY-THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I shouldn't try to do mental math after being up all night! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> However, when I was calculating, I DID count up the correct # of years since 1971, only forgetting that was when HP and I got married, not when you were born. Oopsie! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Hmmph. Apology accepted.