I can't take it either, but I just put my mind in neutral and concentrate on the components of the task without sinking into their meanings. In other words, I think, "How well those footprints are turning out," instead of, "I'm holding a dead baby's foot in my hands." I don't think it would be possible to do this long-term if you fully immersed yourself in everyone's tragedy. Maybe other nurses look at it differently, but I think a person would just have to go insane if it were that way.

I did help get footprints and handprints of the baby tonight, since unfortunately I have the most experience with them, but I stayed out of the delivery. I usually help out with the aftermath anyway, since I know the mementoes we obtain will be all they'll have of their child, and there's only one chance to get it right...but I very carefully don't think about what I'm actually doing, in order to do it at all.

Neakbro (age 13)--1988

Just what is Christmas all about?
What makes us want to sing and shout?
Could it be presents, or maybe snow?
Maybe it's vacation while Christmas lights glow.

It might be the toy stores, with treasures galore
All crowded with children, each craving much more!
Excitement is building, and most kids can't wait...
Just hoping that Santa won't get there too late.

In all the confusion, we tend to forget
That Christmas is more than the presents we get.
The best gift of all is what God gave one day
When Jesus was placed on that bed made of hay.

He didn't come in Christmas wrap, or tied up in a bow,
But Jesus is God's present to this earth that He loves so.
If you'll accept what God has given, and let Him change your life,
When Jesus comes, He'll save you, too, from death, and pain, and strife.

t&l

tl

that certainly is a hard job. I guess most people in jobs where there is such a loss need to separate from the actual individuals..at least inside themselves.

Though that said I have seen my sis shed a tear or two even so, I suppose we feel even when we dont want to.

B
you do know me very well dont you? I think right now I can only do what I can do...fake it until I make it. But God it hurt some times.
I know I can't change the past tl, but God oh God do I wish we had 12 months, just 12 months to work on us. No training, no camps, no deployments, nothing but us and the kids.
But we haven't had that and it doesn't look good for the future on that score either. Just keep plugging away.

Neak wasn't bad at 13 was she? A happy poem to a sadder one in this weeks Army news.

R Knight
13 years old 2005

A shout. A signal. A command.
The condemning of life to death.
The men tumble over the trench tops,
brimming with the pride and dignity of war.
Numb.
Theirs not to reason why.
Theirs but to do and die.
Onto the plains of death,
Charged those men.

I have no protest
No passionate cry
because you live and then you die,
it whittles down to one question.
Why dad, why did you go, why?

Diva 1: Well, Jessica (visiting friend) is the princess.

(Outraged screech from Diva 2)

Diva 2 (as maturity and diva training reasserts itself): Well, then I will be the Queen. Because the queens are really more ruly than the princesses. Because they get to tell the princesses what to do, like when to go to bed and stuff. So...I'll be the Queen.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Divas!!!!

Mom, I have another question about my innards. Sorry I didn't call last night - I fell asleep and then didn't remember when I was briefly awake around 1.

The boys are so wild today, I am about to get the duct tape.

And I am happy, I am still on #8 for the publisher's bestsellers of the month list, after almost a year.

WOO HOO !!!! well done neak!!!




As long as you describe the gory bits for the guys ... I like the green shade they go when you discuss such matters <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
But seriously you look after yourself young lady!!


neaksis we have queens here ... like Priscilla Queen Of The Desert <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Review


but I'm guessing you were thinking of something else!!
Queen Elizabeth 11 of Australia

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Now I think everyones asleep so I can go to bed now - 2.34am - ah to sleep to sleep, perchance to dream <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I wish you good dreams, then.

Oh well, I guess my innards question is nothing worse than the rest...my lower abdomen is very tender, but nothing else is wrong. Now should I worry, meep meep?

Well, of COURSE y'all have Queens over there! I wasn't really too interested in the sites you posted; however, I did notice this on the Queen Elizabeth II site, and I've been punching away!

Punch Charles <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Neak,


I second AW. You GO, Girl!!! Almost inspires me to finish the novel I started earlier this year....maybe one day....

About your lower abdomen...did you have the D&C? Hope T&L can reassure you <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> ; otherwise, get your hiney to the doctor ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

SS and AD, y'all are two handsome fellas! It's nice to see the pics. Brings back memories of our trip a few years ago to the Grand Canyon. It's awesome!

On a more serious note, I appreciate your empathy over the losses we experienced with our baby daughters. It was tough, but up until a little over a 1-1/2 years after Amy's death, I took comfort in how close Lord Clueless and I had gotten. Guess I was wrong, 'cuz it was then that he picked up the STD-ridden honky-tonk "angel". <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> And, here I was, fondly thinking of how loving he had been through all the ordeals of their births and the miscarriages.

One of the ways that I dealt with the loss of Jamie and Amy was to open a day-care center. The little ones were a blessing...just what I needed, although the hours were long and it got rather hectic. Anyway, I got a great deal of joy out of taking care of the little ones again. I had two who were very close in ages to Jamie and Amy, and I loved them dearly. I eventually realized that we had gotten too close, when I would run into them with their mom or grandma at Wal-Mart on the weekend and they would start crying to go home with me. Actually, the little one would pitch a hissy fit. Most of the time, I ended up dropping them off at Grandma's house on my way home.

Anyway, while I had the daycare center, Lord Clueless got a bee in his bonnet about how I should go to nursing school. Well, I didn't really want to become a nurse because of my hearing loss. Too hard to hear, even through a stethoscope, and concerned about not being able to understand a patient who might be in distress. But, I signed up for "Anatomy and Physiology", anyway. Did O.K...even managed to disect the muscles of a cat who looked like it died of fright. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
It was while I was going to night school that he managed to get chummy with the STD "angel".

Anyway, we decided to move to another nearby town, where the schools were better, etc. We stayed 5 months, and then, upon his insistence, we moved back into our house 4 days before Christmas! I will NEVER do anything like that again!
His reason for moving back? He was tired of driving 30 miles to work everyday. However, a couple of years later, he saw nothing wrong with me driving 50 miles to work every day! Anyway, although the kids and I loved living in the new town, I was rather tired of Lord Clueless coming in late every night after visiting the scene of his crime (although I didn't know that was the scene at the time). The tenants in our house were causing problems, too, so I had to boot them out. Soooo...might as well move back home!

And, SS, I guess I have decided to remain married after all. Guess that's something T&L and I have in common. We're too broke to have separate residences and he does have some good qualities, although I did have to put a stop to his attempting some criminal activity! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

However, I have just about quit walking on eggshells around H. Oh, I'm still trying to avoid LBing; but, more and more, I'm calling Lord C out on what I feel is inappropriate behavior toward me. I'm not letting him bully me anymore!
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Good LC ... if he looses respect then its very hard to live together - I decided long ago that though I may do ALMOST anything - obviously in reason - for him to help us it would not, could not include anything by force or bullying.
Stick to your guns.
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Lady C said:
However, I have just about quit walking on eggshells around H. Oh, I'm still trying to avoid LBing; but, more and more, I'm calling Lord C out on what I feel is inappropriate behavior toward me. I'm not letting him bully me anymore!

My W learned to do that too, and it has been good for us. Seldom do I resort to that old behavior these days, but she always looks at me and says "Don't start that again."

I hate to admit how bad I was, but it's the truth. She says I am slow, but I can be taught. That is so much better than what could have happened.

It's so good to hear from you. Are you still driving great distances?

I hope the last few months have put you on a firm footing as far as finances go.


Neak,
I haven't commented on your talents as an author much, but it is so good to hear you are still that high on the chart.
What a blessing to have this success to help you cope with all the losses. It has to help in some small way - though I am sure it can't reall make up for any of the bad things.

AW, our next door neighbor is probably near your H. (We dont' know his exact location.) We just got a letter from him this week. He says it's hard, but that they are doing a lot of good. He says the people there are thankful for freedom. I wonder what it must have been like for them before.

We pray for our neighbor, and your H nearly every day. For you too, sometimes it can be more difficult to be left behind, than it is to leave. We support you, we are glad you do so well.

T&L,
I hope your night is less difficult than normal. You work too hard, but I bet there are a lot of ladies, and babies that thank God for you.

Joy to the world, the Lord is come.
Isn't it wonderful.

SS

I am just delighted to be doing well on the list still. You're right that it doesn't make up for anything, but it works wonders as a distraction!

No D&C yet, but I'm on my last chance, for bleeding anyway. I don't know if the sore ab will change that, but Mom expects to see the Dr. tonight and will ask her. If I'm going to have one after all, I'd rather get it out of the way and have a few days to try and bounce back before Christmas.

I want to make fudge, popcorn balls, more cookies, and more pies. Maybe glazed nuts, and anything else I can think of. All the shopping is going to be last minute this year anyway, and none of us are going all crazy. We don't even have a tree. So the food will be the most important part, at least to me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hi SS

some days when it feels bad and I worry to much I remember what I have and those who no longer have their husband, brother, son or father and I read to myself the lament of the Green fields.'



He may not be here, he may not be safe, but it could be so much worse couldn't it? He believes what he is doing SS, that its worth his life if need be, and of course he wouldn't leave his mates behind even if it meant dying.

I wish it was otherwise but it isn't. In the end it doesn't matter if I drove him there or not, it's what we have now, I just have to learn to accept it.
I'm not doing that good on that score yet. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

{{{{{{{{{AW}}}}}}}}}}

Prayers tonight for Aussie.

Thanks neak <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> right back at ya [[[[[neak]]]]]

he can use all the prayers he can get

I can use all the hugs too <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Bit hard today neak, some 20 odd years ago today he asked me to marry him.
I know HE won't remember it - never does and sometimes forgets our anniversary as well <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> - but thats ok, I do. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

It must be hard to stay home, and remember.

When we read the news, we don't get much about how much the people there are thankful, but when I talk to the soldiers, it's a different story.

I spoke with one of them last week. I was his scoutmaster in the boy scouts - it seems like only a few years ago. He said the people are thankful for freedom, and he told me that "it is worth it." He used words like "what we are doing is the right thing, they need our help."

His daughter is less than a year old. I know he would rather be here with his family. I am thankful there are people in the world who will sacrifice for freedom, but the cost is high.

{{{{{{{{{{AW}}}}}}}}}}

I hope one of these days Aussie will be ready to come home and stay. God can make things work that we couldn't by our selves.

I don't know if I can help much, wish we could do more.


Neak, rest, you need it more than you might admit. It will help as much as many things, more than most.

SS

Hi all you neaksters,

I've got an alternative to Montana.

This fine abode (unfortunate site of a double murder), is 4395 sq. ft with a full basement AND includes special facilities for the dervish and any family members you need to keep under control - all this, for only $33K - and not in Montana, but in MO.

http://cgi.ebay.com/Historic-Randolph-Co...1QQcmdZViewItem

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

------------------ Detailed Description ------

It looks like a stately home on a tree lined street in a Mid-America small town…Huntsville, MO USA.
In reality this historic 1910 building, until June of 2005, was the Randolph County Jail.

Until about 1989 the jail not only housed the county criminals from drunks to thieves but it was also called home by the county sheriff and his family. It was a kinder gentler time when the front portion of the building was just like any other home. A living room, fireplaces, kitchen and bedrooms, homework and family dinners for the Sheriff and his entire family.

The difference began at a steel door. Beyond the bars in the back portion of the building where the Sheriff brought arrested offenders to be fingerprinted and booked to begin their journey through the justice system.

A big difference back then was that the Sheriff’s wife usually prepared delicious, home cooked meals for the prisoners. Probably better food than they were receiving on the outside.

The idyllic situation was not Mayberry, but it was definitely small town America. Times changed and Sheriffs were no longer willing or able to live in the county jail, a new kind of criminal was on the scene.

In June of 2000 there was an attempted jail break and a jailer and a deputy sheriff were murdered. This tragedy spurred the citizens of Randolph County to construct a new $7,500,000 jail and judicial facility in Huntsville which was completed in June of 2005.

The historic building has 4,396 sq. ft. above ground and it has a full basement. Asking price $32,500

That is only $7.39 a sq.ft. for the 4,396 sq.ft.(approximate) above ground. 10 rooms in resident area of the building.

22 bunks in the jail area.


-AD

I'm not worried about the buildings past ...for that price I would buy it and keep it for a holiday B & B place. !!

Structural engineer first though! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


Hey I could come & stay in the summers ...now just have to win LOTTO!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />


OMG I have to run to the bank..nearly 4.00pm yikes
catch you all later <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Wow! Lady Clueless and AD, all in the same day. What a treat to have you pop in, since you know I always wonder where everybody is when they're out of touch. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> I'll try to go online later today and visit, but right now I've got just a few minutes of break left, and it's time for ThePoetFlard to make his debut on these pages. Can't you just hear the mental anguish and inner protest of his Muse, in the following lines?

Flard (age 12)--1988

On a cold winter night,
With colored lights bright,
The lights on the snow
Made a beautiful glow,
And the Christmas bells rang
As the carolers sang
Of a tale that began
In a faraway land.

Our Lord made the earth,
But here sin had its birth;
So there's never a way
To flee sin any day.
There's been many a try,
But 'twas still a far cry
Until hope came to us,
In the form of Jesus.

He wasn't born in a bed
With a pillow for a head;
But some sheep-herding men
Came to His freezing cow pen.
It was a troublesome life,
Full of trials and strife;
And He suffered great loss,
When He died on the cross.

So Each Christmas day,
We honor His birthday...
While we're warm and well-fed,
And we have a warm bed,
There's still so much sin,
God's hardly ever let in.
If you want to be smart,
You can open your heart;
Please let Jesus come in,
And just kick out your sin.

t&l