I had mums Thai Green chicken CURRY with potato ...does that count???? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> yummy well almost anything you dont cook yourself is SO good!!!

Look NO meat !!!! can't remember if I posted this before but anyway

Aw's Lebanese Salad

Lettuce
Lebanese Cucumber - [berpless]
2 firm Tomatoes
Yellow, Red & green peppers
Large Red onion
Large handful of Marinated black olives
You can also add some goats cheese but its pretty strong

Dressing

White wine or cider vinager
Pinch of Sea salt
Fresh mint diced – you can also use thick mint sauce if in a hurry
Garlic minced
Zest of large lemon & a bit of juice
Or fresh lime zest -2 limes - + juice

How
Slice & dice cucumber & peppers
& tomato
tear lettuce into small bits
Slice onion thinly
Mix all together.

Mix the dressing all together & pour over salad,
Then toss salad & YUM
Can have prawns, seafood or eat with BBQ but nice alone
especially if you add the goats cheese & marinated black olives
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Adub, I am checking all of your hiding places. Your man is looking for you.

FF--What/where are the "minis"? There goes AW for the rest of the day! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> It's hard to post from a cloud, you know! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

t&l

t&l, the "minis" are a small offshoot of some former and current "idiots" that email as a group.

I see AW on the board so I am expecting an update...tap tap tap <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I have a question but not into a post of my own. Can I do that here or do I have to post?
JE

This is a thread made up of TJ's. This is nothing but one giant TJ. Ask away!

Ok
I feel very weird and ashamed about this and have not said a word to anyone, not even FWH.
I want to know if after finding out about and affair, or even for the WW, if it normal or not to start to think about the same sex?
I have been married for 17 almost 18 years. Had sex with 2 people in my life, once with a 2 year boyfriend and my hubby.
I have had 2 females hit on me during my marriage and was so grossed out by it.
Now all of the sudden I am feeling kinda weird all the way around.
Am I truly going nuts? I feel like I am.
JE

K,
guess I scared ya all away!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />
Sorry. I guess I am nuts... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
but not wrapped in Saran wrap at least. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
JE

NO, you did not scare us away. I was pondering your Q as it is very serious and thought provoking. You mentioned in your thread that your H is not filling your ENs. Hence the name Just Empty fills the bill, correct? I don't believe you are really finding yourself drawn to the same sex for much more than having those EN's met which women tend to do well such as conversatin, admiration etc.. Does that make sense?

BTW, JE one way that I have kept myself from being drawn into another A was to get some of me EN's met by my female friends. Just not the ones only my H can meet. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hmmmm. My reaction was more being grossed out by members of the opposite sex, and nothing toward the same sex, but I think our brains may well do many strange things during recovery, and think things we would not normally think.

Personally, if something like that happened to me, I would treat it the same way as any other distracting thought, and do whatever was necessary to keep busy and keep it out of my mind. Especially since an A with a member of the same sex is still an A.

Sing, pray, roller skate, clean house, think about your H and focus on being close to him, and I am sure this will get better with time. It's not something you want to encourage, but not something to be ashamed of having been tempted with, either.

Martin Luther said, "You can't stop the birds from flying overhead, but you can stop them from building nests in your hair."

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

True FF,
But he is not meeting any I guess. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
I have not of course acted on this, but lets say that I could at this point. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
My best friend is also going through this affair stuff with her truck driving hubby.
We both talked quite a bit about the marriages and she actually said these things first. I was mortified. Shocked and kinda scared of hanging out with her anymore. I did not want an A with anyone. Now she didnt hit on me or anything like that but it was what it was. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
I have a lot of lesbian friends. Was never threatened being around them, and quite frankly joke alot about if I ever went gay, I would never come back. Went to a strip club with them and other straight friends, as a birthday party for a good friend (lesbian) of ours. Had a great time, albeit this was the first time I had ever stepped into one. But being a nurse, naked bodies dont do much for me anyway.
I was embarrassed for the strippers and their degrading job, but not in anyway interested. But of course, being straight and the joker that I am, well the "girls" wanted to get me real good for all the jokes I play on them. Well they all gave me a lap dance, with a body shot...which I might also add I do not drink, didnt have a clue as to what it was, and sat there bright red and a little scared. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />
Well now my best friend and I talk alot about our WH affairs and spend alot of time together.
We do not talk about her earlier statements, etc. but I do feel she is meeting alot of my needs. Should I end that?
I do not want to cross any lines or lose my best friend over this.
I just feel real nuts about all of this.
I am a mother of 4 for goodness sakes!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />
JE

JE, I think you are possibly caught up in an EA. Your H is not meeting your needs and you are spending a lot of time with another BS. As much as I hate to say it, yes you need to go NC with her. Are you active in a church? Any family oriented activities you could get involved in? It worries me you hanging out with people that could lead you down the wrong path while you are vulnerable.

BTW, I applaud your honesty.

It almost sounded to me, when you first posted, that you'd read the whole thread, from beginning to end. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> If that's the case, you're familiar with the Sad Saga of OtherSusan the Stupid. You may even remember the episode where a nurse friend of mine told me about the fantasies she was having about the new (very studly) doctor in town, and how once the thought was placed in my head (which thought had never once so much as peeked its snout in the door before that time <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />) I found myself struggling with sexual fantasies about him, too.

I never discussed the subject with my friend again, although we continued to work and converse together. To have kept on with that line of conversation and thinking would be somewhat like playing with flaming torches in the dynamite factory. The gender lines are different here, but I think the principle is the same, and you will be playing with some deadly fire if you allow this relationship to continue in its current course. I'm not sure that FF's suggestion of NC is necessary. I'm not saying it's not. I don't know if it is. But certainly the tone of your relationship, the topics of your conversations, need to change immediately, if you want to protect yourself from either an EA or a PA you don't really want, and certainly don't really need.

Good luck.

t&l

JE, if you have followed any of Spider Slayers saga of late her H told a co-worker he had feelings for her. Her first response was "I love my husband and don't return the feelings" but guess what followed a week or so later? You guessed it...the power of suggestion.

OK, maybe just back off the friendship for now. I don't know it worries me that you two are too close right now.

That is what I think too. And here is the big butt..lol..
I am very vulerable and I know this.
I am lonely and lost my best friend, ie WH
When he touches me I cringe.
I now know I need so much more than he is offering.
And I did make a choice to stay for the kids.
I need to feel alive too.
I am not planning nor think I could ever sleep with the same sex. But how about a nice guy that does the same thing?
Am I that strong? Heck NO!!
If I can feel like this about another woman, then I know I could about a man.
So what the heck do I do? How do I keep myself from straying?
Jump off a bridge? Just kidding
Sorry about doing this here, I just feel like a dumb as@ about this.
JE

JE, have you been to IC? You didn't answer my question about a church or family activities. Do you and your H spend any time together just the two of you? You loved him once don't you think you could love him again?

JE - I think your feelings are quite normal. You have been terribly hurt by your husband, a man. Now your friend, a female, is meeting some of your EN's that have been neglected for a long time. So it is natural to feel affection toward her.

HOWEVER - It would be a terrible mistake to give these feelings any purchase on your thoughts. You will lose your self-respect AND your friendship.

Speaking of men, did I hear that Aussie is around?