hi guys

hope you having a easy evening. We are having a lazy Sunday and may go out later to Ascot Race course if we get the energy togther <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Aussie wants to go to a caravan & camping expo to get some new toys, I mean required equipment <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Yes boys are certainly all sickos!! lol
When jnr was 10 he was marched home by the base range officer for setting booby traps on the training ranges with fishing line <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Aussie thought it was 'funny' but I was so embarrassed <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

and Jnr was SOOOO grounded <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

The Dervish was awful on the way home from church yesterday. He sat next to Grandpa and asked how old he was.

"Ninety-one? Dat means you die soon."

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I tried to steer the subject away, but soon he was right back on it again. "You useta be cumferble, like us, but now you oooooooooold."

Then he started in talking about Nana. "Your wife dead now. Nana dead, and her doggie dead, too. Her poodle dead."

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

"Dervish, what did you like about Nana?" Please, please, pleasepleaseplease say something nice.

Whew. "She useta tarry me. Your wife useta tickle me.......when I was a baby." Yeah, before he learned to talk plainly enough for anyone, even a deaf elderly gentleman, to understand.

Mama mia, it's a good thing there were no gypsies or I'da sold him for sure.

I haven't been following this thread as closely as I used to, but when someone sent this to me in an e-mail this morning, I thought of you guys...

BTW... Neak, thanks so much for the book. I read it cover to cover in a couple of days. You really made the story compelling! I've already passed it on to friends.

The Middle Wife
By an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show- and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant.

"This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday. First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."

[She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.]

"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, oh, oh, oh!' " [Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans.] "She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'

[Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.]

"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this."

[Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.]

"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!"

[This kid has her legs spread and with her little hands are miming water flowing away. It was too much!]

"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.' They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff, they all said it was from Mom's play-center!, so there must be a lot of stuff inside there."

[Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another Erica comes along.

You're welcome, LetSTry! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Good to hear from you again.

I am so glad my kids don't go to 'real' school. I could just cry thinking of all the things they would come up with for show-and-tell. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

So many interesting stories I could tell lately, if I had the time, but I'm too busy just trying to survive them! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> I'm coming to the conclusion that (a) people (in general) are getting weirder and weirder all the time, and (b) I'm really tired of being a nurse. I wouldn't mind being retired, but just plain tired is getting old faster than I am! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

An example of weird, you ask? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> The very immature teen who had a meltdown during her speculum exam and started crying that she's "having a hot flash"..."Mama, fan me. More. More." When that didn't work, she asked me what I thought she should do to "fix" it. Told her I were in her place, the first thing I'd do would be to take off the 7 layers of blankets I had over my body. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Look of disbelief at the stupidity of my suggestion. "But then I'd be co-o-o-o-o-old!" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

As for you, Neak, the Dervish/Grandpa combo is your punishment by Fate for that sympathy card you wrote to your great-grandma after Great-Grandpa died. Fortunately, we confiscated it before it made it out in the mail, but it went something like this. "I'm so sorry Grandpa died. I hope we can visit you really soon before you pass on, too." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Back to the salt mines...

t&l

I went to a funeral yesterday....for a wonderful 82 year old woman who died with her knitting in her hands. For 15 years, she had been making blankets for a local children's hospital. In her casket, she had her knitting in her hands - the project she was holding when she died.

Anyway, they told a great story. When her children were little, she would take them, as is normal, to the dentist. If they had the misfortune of getting the not so lovely novacaine shots for dental work, she would take them to get an ice cream cone before the novacaine wore off. Eating ice cream cones with a numb mouth could be highly comical.

Half way down page 2 already?

Can we help it if we've become boring? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Caught 'ya T&L!

On my thread you sed you couldn't chat, hada see a pt.

Now I find you over here. Hmmmm. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

-AD

The internet-access computer, and the monitor computer are side-by-side at the back desk. I'm catching up on my charting after the epidural, and turning briefly to the other computer for these little snippets with you. In a minute I'm going to be done with my nursing charting, and then I'm leaving the area entirely to see what trouble I can stir up in LaborLand, but while I'm sitting here I've been doing both. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Multi-tasking. OK, but, not to beLABOR the point, but if you can do that, why'd you say you "couldn't chat" on my thread - and then kept right on chatting anyway. huh? HUH? HUH?! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

-ad

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Because I was intending to get right up and get back to work, but it was comfortable sitting down, my feet hurt, and what I was doing was more fun than getting up and doing what I was supposed to! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Must I reveal all my shameful secrets?! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Yes! You must! Radical Honesty, it is called. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I was reminded of that orthopedic surgeon in Boston who left the OR in the middle of somebody's spinal reconstruction to go to the bank and deposit his paycheck. He lost his license. No more paychecks for him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> We wouldn't want that to happen to anybody we know.

BTW, I just lost my job and got a new one. It's a real gift from God. So I shouldn't joke about such things.

-AD

hey wait wait <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />


if you are going to reveal ALL your shameful secrets then as AW's mum I wish to state that I have no shameful secrets to tell anyone .. well not any more anyway.. and I feel that telling could set a precedent. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

I mean I lived through the sixties and NOTHING much happened, at least nothing I can REMEMBER. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Of course I did use that excuse when I got preggos with my eldest Daughter <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

my mother didn't believe me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I am much more understanding (gullible) and always believed what my girls told me. Didn't I AW? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I mean just like the time AW & Aussie were naked in her maidenly bed at 3.00 am one morning I totally believed 'nothing' happened.
its just that when AW gets focused on a 'plan' she has been known to leap before looking. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Luckily she was caught by a darling boy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

And there is NO truth to the rumour that I proposed for Aussie <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

but I would have if I had to <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

TL

I think you need to be MORE expressive

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Good morning AWMum!

Do you know how to make Madelines? Saw them on a movie and they looked nummy! 'Course, I'll need to buy a tin for them...all I have are muffin pans....PERFECT EXCUSE TO GO SHOPPING FOR NEW TINS!!! YEA!

Would you please tell your daughter and son in law that their baby sister has great news? We're going to have custody of the babies most of the week now (they'll understand)!

Donkey shun!

Love,
Kimmy (a daughter from another mother)

ROFL!!!!!!!!! Aw is going to rue the day she started having so much fun spending time with her husband that she left the computer unattended for long periods of time. Thank you AWMum, you are priceless!

Congrats, Kimmy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Neak - you have mail!

Cool, on my way to peek!

Hello Kimmy!! No no sorry Aussie said I have to call you KIMBERS as Kimmy is far tooooo girlie. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

so Hi Kimbers <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> anything to stop the male from sulking <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

AW promises to email you & talk about the kiddies however right now she is walking around with a pencil in her mouth, a plan of the house and the lot working out what she will spend our hero's active duty pay on <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
A spa has been mentioned, not the nice one they have in the main bathroom, or the portable one out the back, but a big 10 person monster to be enclosed in a patio. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I suggested a second honeymoon and they both just looked at me TOTALLY puzzled. Aussie walked off muttering about how Michael wouldn't like skydiving yet (and they say women are strange creatures???)and AW in that oh so 'proper' tone that gives me the whoops said she hasn't earned it yet.
I am now counting to 10 , SLOWLY is it bad form to whack grown children do you think? You know crack their heads together to see if ANYTHING leaks out?
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Just think NEAK AND Kimbers, you have ALL THIS ahead of you with your kids when they age. Growing up is bit harder.
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

TL comments are permitted!! sought, wanted <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Anyway to important MB business , Madelines.

Now I think you should stay away from them Kimbers as they are very bad for you amd you just know you will eat them all!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


My MADELINES


Ingredients for 24 - cheaper by the doz
3/4 cup sugar
1/4 teaspoon pure vanilla extract - not the make believe stuff
1 teaspoon unsalted butter, at room temperature plus 1/4 pound (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted and slightly cooled
2 teaspoons plus 1 cup plain flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 tablespoon orange zest, finely minced


What to do
Preheat the oven to 350º. Grease and flour 24 madeline molds using the teaspoon of butter and the 2 teaspoons of the flour.

In a large mixing bowl, combine the eggs, sugar and vanilla. With an electric mixer set on high speed, cream the mixture until pale and fluffy, about 10 minutes but just keep an eye on it.
In a small mixing bowl, combine the flour and baking powder. Add the zest and half of the flour mixture and beat on medium speed until all is incorporated.
You now add the remaining flour mixture and beat again until all is also incorporated.
Add the butter in a steady stream and continue beating until well blended.

Now you let the mixture stand for 10 minutes.

Spoon the batter into the molds so that they are two thirds full. Bake until lightly golden, 18 to 20 minutes.
Remove from the oven and using a thin knife, pop them out of the pans onto a wire rack.

They can be served warm or at room temperature.


Now for the history buffs ;
Madelines are small, feather-like, spongy cake that is eaten like a cookie in France.
The first time I experienced them was after a meal in Paris where they were offered to dip in after-dinner coffee. The French novelist Marcel Proust rather liked them, I understand.
They are baked in a special pan with scallop-shell indentations, and the pans are usually available at most kitchen shops. Well they were in France. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Ah Pa-ree take me back ---- ANYONE. Grumpy just wants to work, oh yes he 'retired' for the fourth time on Monday. Then why is he working tonight? He's male, an Australian male. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />


For an exciting experience ask AW to cook them for you, what a kitchen nazi. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> OMG did I type that? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />