SS, I see you there. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

My new hobby is, for the last couple of days I have gone out for a little while and weeded in the driveway. I am itchy, but the physical labor is good for me, no question. I am still so weak, and it will take a while to build up.

But after I got done yesterday, even though I was temporarily dizzy after bending so long in the heat, I rested a little and then proceeded to clean the whole house of its built up mess from being sick. I got everything done except vacuuming my room and one living room, and I have another load of dishes to finish up. (I don't count the laundry, since I have to do that every day, anyway.) And considering that for several room I had to get out the shovel, that is very good.

In the dining room, the Dervish had scattered about a cup of rice, a bowl of milkless Cheerios, and I was so glad they were dry, and the dried moss from floral arrangments. Did I mention the mustard pretzels? Then the rice got spread all over the kitchen, too, and from there tracked into the other living room. Normally I would have made him suffer a bit, I mean help clean it up, but with everything so far behind I tossed him outside on his shell-pink little ear and told him not to come back in till I was done.

Oh, right now Mr. Computer is trying to guess AJ's computer password. I don't even care, because it will just re-emphasize to him that he will never guess it. It is the first 3 letters of my legal name, plus the last 4 digits of an old phone number. He just asked me how to spell "far". <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

And yesterday the Dervish, who only reads simple words with some assistance, was found at AJ's computer, which had been left on, and he had the window open to change or delete the password on the computer. He was busily trying password after password to get in. That, to me, is actually much more frightening than Mr. Computer's pathetic little attempts, lol. Five years old, and already trying to hack stuff.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Is that the significance of those particular numbers and letters? I never knew. It makes a particularly-delicious irony to me, then, that we were using your very own initials during the affair, to access his Nextel account and download and print all those obscene text messages that were exchanged between Gargamel and him..while he more than once told you not to bother trying to catch him at anything, since you weren't smart enough to investigate the investigator! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I get warm fuzzies just thinking about this! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I've got to get off the computer, since Flard is working on some paper and has to use the internet for something or other. We watched a movie (Galaxy Quest) last night on his home theater screen (6x8 ft.), and I learned something I never knew before, even though I've seen that movie a bunch of times. Tim Allen has really crooked lower teeth. That subtle nuance, lost on the small screen, leaps out and, um, bites you when on a bigger one. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> We'll have to rent the DVD when I get home because you've got to see one of the deleted scenes, where Dr. Lazarus is taken on a tour of his personalized living quarters, including the toilet. I can't imagine why they cut that out. It's the funniest scene of the whole movie.

My next-in-line at the computer is standing in the doorway, breathing heavily, and waiting. I'm outta here.

t&l

I'll check my email in a second.

The irony gets much more delicious than that. It is also the same password to his email that he gave her, and she was having to use my name to hack into his account all those months after. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Good evening TL- sorry I missed you but hope you are having a good time, and evening to Neak and family. or is it day time ?
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I'm baby sitting AGAIN, why don't I get taken out I ask you? Oh of course, grumpy is GRUMPY <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

AW & Aussie are out having a romantic meal at the Kings Park restaurant where you pay by the inch for your size of plate, and they use darn BIG plates at that! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

thats because its Aussie's birthday <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

which he clebrated by doing a 15 hour day and a jump out of a perfectly good plane <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Can you believe he actually tried to hide the jump from us? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
Like a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar he was <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Never seen a change of subject so quickly <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

MEN <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Neak,
From what I have seen since I started reading here, recovery takes about 1 1/2 to 2 years.

I'm guessing that most, if not all of your feelings (doubt, hurt) are normal.

Still concerned though - something nags at the back corners of my mind from time to time.

If all your needs are being met, and you are cared for, and protected, recovery should continue. That means improvement over time. If there are some needs that are not being met (or one important one that goes un-met) then it will take longer. Sometimes lots longer.

In the dining room, the Dervish had scattered about a cup of rice, a bowl of milkless Cheerios, and I was so glad they were dry, and the dried moss from floral arrangments. Did I mention the mustard pretzels? Then the rice got spread all over the kitchen, too, and from there tracked into the other living room. Normally I would have made him suffer a bit, I mean help clean it up, but with everything so far behind I tossed him outside on his shell-pink little ear and told him not to come back in till I was done.

When the twins were two, my W asked me if I would watch them while she went to the store. Of course, I said yes. She must have had a premonition, because she want on and on about how i needed to pay attention to them and not turn my back on them.

Wanting to impress her, I decided to do the dishes also - though it wasn't my turn that week. (We have a job chart.)

The girls played on the floor behind me, I washed away. (Lets see, we had all 10 of us at home then, so there were more than a few dishes.)

I washed, and hummed, but then I noticed it was really qiet.
When I turned around, it was to the sight of the kitchen floor covered in flour. The whole bag, not just in a heap, but spread out over the whole kitchen floor.

I started cleaning frantically, but didn't finish in time. My W couldn't decide if she should laugh, or get after me for not watching them properly. I think she ended up doing both.

Aren't kids swell?

SS

Hope it's warm enough for you T&L.
I bet you don't need a coat.

Hug flard before you leave, one can never get too many hugs.

SS

So what SS!!!!!!!!

2 days BEFORE my 1 and 1/2 yr old twins bathed in flour, they had bathed themselves in COOKING OIL!!!!!!

try that! I can still smell it. And I was 8 months pregnant and alone with them.

My new hobby is, for the last couple of days I have gone out for a little while and weeded in the driveway. I am itchy, but the physical labor is good for me, no question. I am still so weak, and it will take a while to build up.

Who looks after you when you are looking after AJ?
No wonder your Mom worries about your health, and sanity.

If you don't mind, tell me what you think about when you weed.

At least she ~seems~ to worry. Mothers do that though, and it's a good thing.

SS

Hey SS - be proud of me....I finally grew the cajones to post on the Recovery board.

Last time I tried that, it was a falsie....thought I'd jinx myself if I ever did that again.....

Then I realized....jinxing is a superstition. I don't do superstition...I do FAITH!

Hehe!

I still think that Neak and AJ need to move here so I can keep an eye on her..........someone has to, you know?

- Kimmy

So what SS!!!!!!!!

2 days BEFORE my 1 and 1/2 yr old twins bathed in flour, they had bathed themselves in COOKING OIL!!!!!!

try that! I can still smell it. And I was 8 months pregnant and alone with them.

I suspect that memory will stay with you for eternity.
Admittedly, you made me laugh.

I wasn't complaining, just hoped I gave you all a laugh, like yours did me.

When faced with things like that, my mom always used to say "That's what they make garden hoses for, go spray your self off." Of course, at 1/12 they needed you to clean them up.

Ha, hahahahaha. I'll have to tell this one to my W. Maybe she'll leave me alone now about the flour.

SS

yes it will. We had to throw their clothes away because we couldn;t get the smell out.

So when they bathed in flour I really didn't mind.

That's so gross.

It's a good thing God makes 'em so cute. Otherwise all of mine would have been toast a long time ago.

Hey SS - be proud of me....I finally grew the cajones to post on the Recovery board.

Good for you. It shounds like you turned a corner in some way. Is that what you talked about?

Duh, I can go read it, maybe I will.

Last time I tried that, it was a falsie....thought I'd jinx myself if I ever did that again.....

Then I realized....jinxing is a superstition. I don't do superstition...I do FAITH!


I liked reading that, it shows class. We make our own way, with Gods help. He can handle the bumps if needed.


I still think that Neak and AJ need to move here so I can keep an eye on her..........someone has to, you know?


I suspect any of us would be pleased to be neighbors with them. Or you for that matter.

But you are right, someone has to. The Dervish seems to have a difficult time keeping his parents out of trouble, though I know he tries really hard.

SS

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

That's like the inmate running the asylum, right? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" />

LOL! I really don't know which is worse, flour all over the kitchen, or breaded and stopping just short of fried.


Good question. He tries, when he is here.

Kimmy, your offer is very tempting. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> But still, how much closer can I get to TX than OK, without actually being in TX? I'll be practically next door!


In all truthfulness, you would rather live about 1/2 hour away: close enough for easy visiting, but out of walking distance.

Inmates...asylum....<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

That's like the inmate running the asylum, right?

What?
The Dervish?

I can't believe you would talk about him like that. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

SS

Good question. He tries, when he is here.

I have asked a number of questions - let me explain a little bit.

Recovery is more difficult when we have resentment about things not being the way they should be. When you post, you report that things are going well.

We only know what you post - but there is a feel to posts as well as words, and information communicated.

It's the feel.......... something in the feel.

Not that I am any kind of expert, no claim to that.

Could just be the stress of all you have been through - after all, the events of this last fall were not sweetness and light.

Could be me.

Hope Neaksis is doing well. She is quiet these days. At least here (MB) she is quiet.

SS

Neaksis' internet is down, something is wrong with her phone line. Before it crashed, she read faithfully, even if she didn't comment.

Feel free to keep trying to pinpoint the source of your feeling. I'm open to introspection, just not very good at it when in unfamiliar territory.

I didn't deliberately ignore your question about the weeding. Really, I don't think of much when I'm weeding. The kids are there, everyone is chatting, not much quiet time. In a way I think that's good, because I don't have enough time where I am too busy to dwell on things.

I do myself a lot of good here, processing things, but sometimes my brain just needs a break from it all. Weeding, for better or worse, provides that kind of break.

SS smiles -

Don't get me wrong -
I wasn't asking for an answer or commenting on you not asnwering when I wrote that last.

This is not an attempt to pry, or anything. (bigger smile)

I just wanted to give background as to why I was asking some of the things I was asking. I wanted you to know where I was coming from.

Really, I don't think of much when I'm weeding.

THIS is what I was wondering when I asked. If you were dwelling on one thing while weeding, it would tell us you do have a concern, and what it was. That your mind wanders is normal. I think it's a good sign, and it made me relax a little bit. (SS chuckles)

I don't claim to know anything, I just tend to follow up on the thoughts that come to me and hope I do someone some good along the way.

My comment about Neak Sis was just my way of saying we havn't forgotten about her. It's probably good for her to hear that from time to time. I think it is good for all of us.

Sorry if my questions seemed like a demand, I never intended it to sound like that. (Another chuckle)
The questions asked will hang around at the back of your thought processes, and if anything comes to mind, you'll have a light bulb moment, and be able to talk. Don't worry about it, or give it much thought.

Wishing you all a good weekend.

SS

No demand taken. (Neak chuckles, too.)

I am restless more than usual lately, and do have some flare-ups with what seems to be old resentment rather than new, but have just kind of chalked it up to whatever stage of recovery I'm in. There isn't much that I worry about, and I think the restlessness is at least partly from the transition of the adrenalin and stress to the new, wonderfully boring existence.

If I start worrying about something while I weed, I'll let you know. If you pick up on something, let me know. (cyberhandshake) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

PS Neaksis will be very happy not to have been forgotten, I'm sure.

PPS Lest Mom feel left out, HI MOM!!! HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME!!!!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />