I'm assuming you have a fairly deft hand with that thing, and a delicate, light touch when you're wielding the welder. I can easily imagine an instantaneous, fulminating culinary disaster if the flame-thrower doesn't do his artistry just right. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I really enjoy "talking" to all of you guys, but I find myself increasingly perturbed by the tone of some of the conversations going on on the board. Did you know that this thread, among others, offends some by virtue of its very existence? Its length, its uselessness, its possibilities for inappropriate male/female bonding, its non-marriage building presence on a marriage building forum, etc... I guess I should take my own (mental) admonishments to all the posters, and quit reading it if it bugs me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> Why is good advice always so much easier to give than it is to take? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

And now there's a new one about EAs on MB. Anything is possible. It'd be silly to deny it, but my personal opinion (to which I'm certainly entitled--I'm still an American, last I checked) is that the label "affair" is thrown around here just a bit too freely, and that not everything that is labeled an "affair" is really an affair. Kiwi would be an example. I'd post this to her if I knew a place where I could be sure she'd see it, but since I don't, up till now I've kept this opinion to myself (and Neak). I'm not trying to say that what she did was a good idea. I'm not trying to say that she shouldn't tell her husband. But what I see her having done is having walked up to the edge of a very deep, very black abyss, where she looked down into the darkness, and then said to herself, "Nope, not gonna do that!!" OK, so she apparently walked closer to the edge than was strictly necessary in order to see how deep and how dark her leap would be (and when she went out for drinks, she sat down on the edge, and sort of dangled her feet in the empty space just below); but to me the important thing is that she didn't jump...and I think she should be given credit for it, too. And I'm NOT trying to start a whole Kiwi argument here. Goodness knows there are plenty of them available in other spots. It's just that this board can be a very harsh, labelling sort of place, and it seems like it's getting stronger all the time.

No solutions from me. Just questions, and an increasing discomfort level... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

t&l

If you go out in the world, you find all kinds of opinions. Some of them mean something to me, some of them don't.

I often wish I lived somewhere where I wouldn't have to cope with all of "the world." I don't though, and I can't see it happening any time soon.

We filter it................ we have to, or we go nuts.

This board is a mini world, you get all kinds of opinions. I read one once where a poster said there was nothing in the bible against any two people having sex when ever they wanted - as long as they cared for each other.

The new testment says the last days will be as the days of Noah - just as bad. Are we far off?

I used to pray that the the end would come quickly. It was probably not the correct thing to ask for.

Now, I pray that God will bring all out of the world that are willing - so the end can come. It makes one weary to stay, but we do what we must.

This forum is for building marriages. It is also (if I understand correctly) to offer support to those who have had, or are having problems with a marriage. That pretty much covers everyone doesn't it?


No solutions from me. Just questions, and an increasing discomfort level...

Discomfort caused by continued posting when others may question the value of it?

One of the reasons I continue to read, and post -
It reminds me of what can happen if I fail to protect and care for my Wife's feelings. Daily reminders are very helpful in keeping me aware of her needs, and in trying to meet them.

I even supported the site by buying books here. They are valueable - we have learned much at our house.

Perhaps our value to others comes and goes depending on many things, but you have been very helpful to others here - over time. (Speaking of T&L, and others.)

Maybe you just need to laugh more today. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

SS

Ok, here's a chuckle.

The other day, AJ asked the Dervish to go and call his Uncle Neakbro to come. He said, "Go tell him I want to snuggle with him."

The Dervish wrinkled up his face. "Why you wanna snuggle Uncoe Neakbro? He have his OWN fam'ly!"

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Why this thread exists? Easy. This and IV have been places where I could rant and rave or cry when needed. After all, I have no marriage to build. I can, occaisionally, offer a word of comfort or advice to someone else. But, if there were not places like these 'frivolous' threads, I would be long gone.

I agree - where else would we talk about our 'just life' things, that have nothing to do with marriage building? And yet things that, good or bad, we very much need to talk about...

Hello all and a good afternoon to you <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

AW is sound asleep, her DD is out at a night club with the girls - which is why I'm still up! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" />
I like to make sure she comes home ok or rings & lets us know if she stays over at one of her friends places. If I don't do it AW will and she's already been up twice to check on Michael - no reason just mummy insecurities <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> you know how it is.

I have heard that some criticism had been made against the Idiot village and here and other threads??? like them. Sad if you ask me, I feel that those who have had such horrible experiences on either side of the coin should understand the need that some have to talk silly talk and non affair matters to those with similar histories, issues or problems and be able to relate well to each other - AND not always just about affairs, plans, recovery, divorce etc etc.
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Sadly I think AW may be right, those souls are hurting and see no room for anything but the tunnel of pain. I know AW has got a lot from both places and it helps her cope and also give back some too when others need some support.

tl I feel much the same way as you do about Kiwi when AW explained that to me. However if I was the betrayed spouse I guess I would feel VERY strongly just one way.
I have read Marriage Builders a few times and frankly so much is common sense in many ways. I actually used some of it with Grumpy and it works! Of course I dont expect miracles or even a non grumble for a day so I'm easy to please I suppose <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

and AW did not bring home even ONE little slice of ANYTHING for me!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />
I want Pecan pie & ice cream <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />

I guess AW will have to make me one tomorrow then <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

And I didn't use lots of my funny faces - hows that for improvement?
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Mom Call Us Soon.

Hey AJ - Welcome. Good to see you posting!!!

AJ - Is it your birthday?

Happy Birthday AJ!

I sure don't think so. I hope not. And if that's wrong, I can't help it. I'm sick of the mess here.





Maybe it's just the decades I've had of continual, unsolicited, unwelcome, and generally unflattering opinions given about me, my character, what I do, etc. I just react badly to it, which is too bad, because I can't say it's never deserved...but when I hear it, I just mentally shut down and start looking for another place to be. Bed and sleep often work. Work works, too, if it's the right time of day. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />



I wouldn't doubt it, but yesterday wasn't a knee-slapper on any front, or any level, unfortunately. At least for a change it wasn't insanely busy at work, and the osteopath OB finally had a delivery at night and came in while I was there and could hit him up for an adjustment of my back--which has been excruciatingly out, crippling me for about 4 days. I can now stand upright and no longer drag my knuckles along the ground when I walk! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> No matter what else they may say about me today, nobody can accuse me of not being well-adjusted!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

t&l

I can only take so much angst at a time, and then I've got to blow off a little steam somewhere, somehow, if I expect to keep going on. Even in the "tunnel of pain" you talked about, it's not a bad idea once in awhile to light at least a tiny candle of humor--to smile, perhaps even laugh briefly--before struggling on through the darkness. Not a universal characteristic, apparently, but it works for me.



Can't deny people the reality of their feelings, but with all those sticks, how about a carrot or two? Would it have hurt? I try to stay out of those arguments, actually, and stifle my Dona Quixote tendencies accordingly.



Congratulations on your good humor, and your willingness to make an effort. You're a better woman than I, and I freely confess it. All my effort goes to making it one more day, from getting out of bed till getting back into bed, without getting in trouble. Success is intermittent. Effort is constant! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />



OK, now THAT'S a punishable offense. What's with that girl anyway? Have you checked her sinks lately? Maybe she's got other priorities. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />



I know. Right up till the end of that very emoti(c)onless post, I wasn't sure it it was really you, or if AW was just playing games with us. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Yes, it is. He's 80, you know!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

t&l

That cradle robber! I am only 23.

Ok, so maybe I forgot to mention a decade somewhere, so shoot me! (He is actually 34, an age I expect to eventually share.)

I showed him the birthday wishes. He was happy to get them, even though he keeps denying that it's his birthday.

In a few minutes I have to run to town and get him one of the most unromantic birthday gifts on record, but a very needful one. More later, after it doesn't matter any more if he peeks. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hard to believe it's supposed to start raining in a few hours.

I didn't work at my desk today and didn't get to read or post much.

I'll just wave hi -
SS Waves ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Have a nice weekend - get plenty of sleep, take your vitimans, watch out for trains, don't get caught in a blizzard...........

SS

Oh - and Happy Birthday AJ.

SS

I really like that eventually part. She'll be sharing it in about a month and a half! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

t&l

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> [color:"purple"]34[/color][color:"blue"]![color:"orange"]?[/color][color:"red"]![/color] <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> That's like [color:"green"] SO [/color] old!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

It is if you're the 34-year old's mother!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> How'd I end up with these elderly offspring? I know my own mother had a hard time watching me age, although she was glad enough to see me mature, oddly enough ( <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />).

Neakbro just turned 31 this week, too. Flard is 30 (I thought he was 29, until he corrected me a few days ago <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />), and Neaksis is almost 28. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

Turn around, and they're two;
Turn around, and they're four;
Turn around, and you're an old fart,
Headed off to the morgue.

OK, so I made part of it up. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> But the real song makes me cry, so there. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Is it still a secret - AJ's present?

I don't know. They're still sitting across the room, billing and cooing and digesting supper while the kiddies riot. I think I'll tell them a story and then split. The kids, I mean. The adults can make their own entertainment! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> t&l