In my effort to truly let go and let God, I am going to be fasting tomorrow. I can cancel our appt with the attorney up to 24 hours ahead which would be tomorrow. Anyone who has a mind to, please be in prayer for me to know God's will. Thank you.

Well no wonder I am a resident of Idiotville <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Tomorrow is our final appt with the att. WH has indicated to me recently that maybe we would stop the D. Today he says he wants things to stay as they are but not be legally M'd to me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> What <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Basically, he wants all the comforts of home and living under the same roof with our kids without being accountable to me. Oh brother, can you say I am an idiot? Why oh why do I not see these things coming? Why do I buy into the cr*p he is feeding me? I do not like myself very much right now. I am so ashamed of myself for willingly selling myself down the river over and over again.


Ok, close your ears so you don't hear me scream

[censored]!!!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Faithful,

Who on earth would blame you for perceiving that kind of outcome, based on how he'd been behaving recently? Bringing you coffee in bed. Gratifying SF. Loving father. What are you supposed to think??? I, for one, wouldn't instantly leap to Chattel in my mind.

Please don't beat yourself up over this, Honey. You know what to do from here out, and self deprecation isn't gonna get it done any sooner.

I am as appalled as you that he would have the kahones to even go there and suggest such a thing :: indignant growl on your behalf ::, but let's let him find out what it's like to be a real bachelor: bills, food, sex (or lack thereof), and all.

Loving you, Faithful, you can do this,

~ StillLovingHim

Faithful,
You are not an idiot to want to believe in your WH. You know there is someone who is working very hard on your WH. That someone knows that you are drawing closer and closer to God, that through this difficulty it is strengthening your realtionship to God and Satan just cannot handle that. So while you are drawing closer, Satan is working that much harder on your wh. Just think if Satan can get you to doubt what God can do for you Satan not only wins your husband but your family. Where as even if you continue to draw closer to God through all of this Satan will lose. Look at what you wrote above about fasting and praying and then look at what happened. Give it to God and believe truly believe. God will see you through this.

SLH, thanks I appreciate it. bjs, thanks for the reminder of the battle I am in the middle of. Psalm 40:1-3
I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out ot the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.

FF, was I mistaken? Were you going to sign your final D papers tomorrow, or begin the process of a D?

If it's the latter, I stand corrected -- I apologize for not being clear -- you should not send the man on his way just yet. Our God is an awesome God and can accomplish anything. Even with your turkey H <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

If it was the former, and you were just finalizing everything by signing the paperwork, tell him not to let the door hit his hiney on the way out.

You're beautiful and generous and open-hearted and you have a joyful heart. Never let him take that away from you.


~ Still

slh, tomorrow was our final appt. with the attorney. After that it is just signing paperwork that he mails to us to sign. I don't know when the D would be final but I assume a few months down the road.

I just want to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

I knew this was probably coming ... seller's remorse.

"I want a woman to take care of me like a wife but one that I don't have to honor like a wife"

any takers?????

no one here that stupid?

didn't think so.

Pep

Nope no one here that stupid <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
He doesn't care the bodies he leaves in his wake...it is all about HIM.

Had several conversations throughout the day with my H. Last one basically he said he wants the D to protect me from him. That though he is not currently in an A he doesn't feel he can trust himself not too. Also that he has been thinking about it lately. sigh...ok plan D

I hate hurting this bad!! I hate this, I hate this, I hate this <stomps feet> ...

temper tantrum over

Hugs and love, FF. I wish we could do more.

slh

Thanks SLH.

Ok, from this day forward WH will be referred to by me as STBX so I can begin reaching for acceptance in this process of grieving for my M. We spoke a little more last night but really there is nothing left to talk about. The truth is he is very selfish and immature and cannot see it. I had a dream last night that I was screaming at him so I can see the level of anger I have to work through. I may end up calling my old IC or our MC to work through some of this.

FF have you read any of Jill Conner-Browne's books ( she's THE SPQ )

This might be a good time.

Here is her patented support-phrase to any of her dear girlfriends who might be experiencing a situation similar to yours (*note* this is HUMOR, so leave me alone with PC corrections ! )

"IhatehimIhopehedies"

This remark to be followed by a well-lubricated PARTY where fattening artery-clogging death-defying recipes are consumed with relish.

Get thee to your girlfriends and have some fun.

That's an order!

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I really wish you could bring the young'uns here. I know you have theme parks where you are, but Shamu lives not 3 min. from my house (I think I know a couple of little boys that would think that rocks - yours and mine). Plus, I'd cook for you.

I think we're having that homemade pizza for dinner. Think the boy and the girl would like that?

Am watching the street for your car. We're here for you.

- Kimmy

Yes'm and no PC corrections necessary, LOL I have muttered those very words under my breath.

Oooh pizza sounds good, gotta ewy gooey dessert too? Get the blender out so DS can eat the pizza, too <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Ok, when you see a charcoal gray station wagon pulling down your street you will know it is me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Eh, change that to DS fancy silver van which my g/f calls the silver bullit. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Got a blender...also have a nifty little thingy that Emeril calls "the boat motor". That's da bomb for whirring up food.

Tell your ds that Tia Kimmy also makes her own homemade pudding pops...all kids love those.