SS:

Coal Valley is north of Alamo and Hiko NV. Still out there in the middle of East Jesus. Pretty rural!

That's the point... the dishes and rat meat fantasy convo. She's not going 2 give him up, and so if she says that, what would be the point of conjuring up a snappy answer 2 a s2pid response anyway?

When I'm ready 2 file, I'll tell her (after the ball is in motion).

Deep Impact probe hits on the night of the 3rd, morning of the 4th of July. Ac2al impact time is probably about midnight your time. Effects will likely take hours 2 show, assuming there are any.

I 2k pic2res when Lunar Prospector augured in2 the shaded crater near the moon's south pole, but didn't see anything. Nobody else did either, so I didn't feel left out! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

-ol' 2long

2Long,

Either your W suspects something is going on but is unable to put her finger on it or she may be happy because she naively beleives that she has both you and RM forever. Boy is she going to be in for a rude awakening IF you ever do decide to go file for divorce and bitterly learn the lesson that 'you cannot have your cake and eat it 2'. No doubt about it, your W is to be pitied for what awaits her.

TMCM

Hi TMCM:

I'm hoping that I can come away from all this feeling nothing but compassion for her. For 2 pity her, I'd have 2 believe that I'm better than her. I'm not. And though I might believe I'm thinking more clearly than her, telling her that, even if it's just body language will likely just fortify her fog rather than help her clear it.

This is simple. She's making choices I can't live with. And so I won't. But they are her choices and she has the right 2 sink or float based on those choices.

best,
-ol' 2long

2long and Coffee Man, got to tell you both that I kind of think Ms. Sue got your WW’s number on this one.

How’s this for a read on your sitch? I think your WW expects nothing other then for you to pout a little bit longer, withdraw for little bit longer and then slowly return to your assigned place in her life…until the little snit you threw slowly fades back into the sameness of the way things have always been and you just go on living the life that you’ve been living.

So you won’t go away with her on 7/4 or what ever! LOL Sorry bro but at this point she’s probably looking forward to having a vacation away from you! Plenty of freedom to do her nasty worst to her hearts content. And she “knows” that you’ll be there when she’s ready to come home! Get it when she’s ready!

And even a divorce letter won’t really SHAKE HER UP! 2long, I would guess that where you’re WW is concerned you are the world’s best example of a paper tiger. Sorry, subtlety is not the way to go AT this woman…not at this point! At this point she needs a 2 x 4 across the back of her head! At this point she needs mean, nasty and low down. She needs her security threatened. She has to realize that her life is about to change…big time! At this point she needs to discover that maybe; just maybe she doesn’t know you as well as she thinks she does! Do you think?

Coach

2L,

I am in Coach's camp here. IF you are going to do it, do it.

JL

2l. Whatever these fine people say, you are completely at liberty to continue to live as you are, either in hope of improvement or not.

Just do it deliberately if you're going to.

It really is sh1t/pot nexus time.

All blessings mate. Never lose the fact that you're a good, smart person and this [email]cr@p[/email] is not a reckoning on you.

Did I say I wasn't going 2 do "it"?

I think coach is dead on. I think that's exactly what will happen. Remember SC's sitch? That's exactly what happened with him, 2. He's been DV'd for 2 years now and is in a new relationship and doing well.

Look. What I've struggled most with has been my historic inability 2 stand on my own 2 emotional feet. I can do that now, though.

My W and her pigheadedness, or whatever it is, isn't the issue.

I'm sticking 2 my plan. It's clearer that she won't likely agree 2 NC before she goes 2 her OOSP, so I'll file when she does.

Vacation away from me? Perhaps. Vacation for me away from her? Most definitely. I intend 2 enjoy that.

-ol' 2long

2L,

I'm a little disappointed at your decision to skip right to Plan D. I understand why you would....but still find it a bit of shame that you never managed to actually do a good Plan B first and defend some boundaries when it might have helped. *sigh*

Dear 2long,
Still here, still reading.
I do agree that your wife's thoughts right now are sort of: "Ah well, another hissy fit about RM, he'll get over it, I just need to throw him some crumbs and he'll zip it and I can get on with what I was doing".
I don't think filing separation or divorce will do much for her right away; sure it will be something different that you haven't tried before, but maybe she will just skip a beat and then tell to herself "Bah... he doesn't mean it, have nothing to worry about... now, what was I doing?".
I am sure you can already anticipate such a reaction, and I know you will handle it with patience. If there is something you have it must be patience <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
But you must reinforce your determination whenever she seems to not care. You have to show her you DO care and a LOT.
You have to be the stronger one and demostrate that this time you DO mean to do what you are saying you are going to do. The time to hesitate, build up false hopes, turn back in your determination is gone within your head.
Now you have to show her all that is true.

((((2long)))) we are rooting here for you. And I believe in you.

star:

Sorry 2 disappoint. ...but here I am.

Bob:

Thank you.

-ol' 2long

ALW:

"I do agree that your wife's thoughts right now are sort of: "Ah well, another hissy fit about RM, he'll get over it, I just need to throw him some crumbs and he'll zip it and I can get on with what I was doing"."

If I could only verify this somehow, you and I could stand 2 make a lot of money off our unsuspecting MB friends via betting! She's obviously never said anything like that, but that is exactly what she does.

"I don't think filing separation or divorce will do much for her right away; sure it will be something different that you haven't tried before, but maybe she will just skip a beat and then tell to herself "Bah... he doesn't mean it, have nothing to worry about... now, what was I doing?"."

Indeed. Very likely.

"I am sure you can already anticipate such a reaction, and I know you will handle it with patience. If there is something you have it must be patience <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />"

This is true... ...but I should have inserted my response after the next, because it isn't complete...

"But you must reinforce your determination whenever she seems to not care. You have to show her you DO care and a LOT."

BINGO. and...

"You have to be the stronger one and demostrate that this time you DO mean to do what you are saying you are going to do. The time to hesitate, build up false hopes, turn back in your determination is gone within your head.
Now you have to show her all that is true."

And it needed 2 take 2long for 2long 2 get 2 this point. But at this point I now am!

"((((2long)))) we are rooting here for you. And I believe in you."

Thank you. I'd like 2 say I believe in myself, 2. I sure intend 2 make a stand now.

-ol' 2long

I'm not so sure I agree with this because it is one thing to say 'I'm going to divorce you' and quite another to serve a spouse with divorce papers. The former is an emotional response backed up only by spoken words, while the latter is a statement of fact backed by court approved legal documents. Unlike the former, the latter is very hard to ignore either emotionally or rationally.

TMCM

do you have an appointment with a lawyer...

as they say...strike while the iron is hot....

meaning if this is your plan...
follow with the action ASAP

ARK

Yes yes, there is that, but then 2long shouldn't announce to his wife that he is getting a divorce at all, he should just let someone serve her. Still I don't believe she'll say much and she could take it as a bluff even when the papers are official.
Her stubborn behaviour and the fact that she seems so sure on her power over 2long lead me to believe it could just roll off her back,

But who knows? It could go either way. The point is that it HAS to be done for any type of advance forward happen.

*pokes ole 2long with stick*
Move it already! sheesh <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

2long, I think some of these ladies may be single, and they want you - note how badly they want to you to file.

OK, I was teasing - just kidding. I know why you encourage him.

Catalyst for change = Divorce.

Change may be WW waking up, or it may be the chance for 2long to finally rest from the drama.

2long, you still doing OK?
I'm not looking for the standard answer - I want to know.

SS

Oooh are you sure you know why we want him to file?
Maybe its all a very elaborate plot to open the 2long hunting season MWAHAHAHAHAHA! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Hi 2Long,

I think I understand why you need to Plan D instead of Plan B. What I don't understand is why you're waiting to complete exposure (to your kids, others?) AFTER you file. Not that explaining this will help me in my sitch, but it might help someone whose marriage can still be saved.

Take care 2Long <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

SS:

Naw, I think all these gals are M'd. Besides, ONE of them, at least is YOUNGER than my daugher!

How'm I doing? (ever see those 2 words conjuncted before?)

Okay. Not great, because I have my annual perf eval this afternoon, and I need 2 fill out some forms and be all perky and self-promoting.

I left without saying goodbye this morning. Just didn't feel like it.

-ol' 2long

Maybe its all a very elaborate plot to open the 2long hunting season

I am only interested in his lovely converse shoe collection...

you know us girls and their shoes...

ARKIE

Oooh yesh, them shoes... *stalks the shoes*