2long,
you devil she misses you! Or she's feeling a tad insecure maybe?...good for her i say, lol...hope she chokes on it!

not feeling very kind toward wws today as you can see...so don't be offended "kay? just blowing smoke. i feel like i'm staring in jammie kennedy routine and all of a sudden folks are all gonna come out and laugh WITH me over this. Yah,right!

Stay the course good buddy. remember, no one ever got themselves into any trouble by just keeping their mouth shut. Let her wonder.
Coach

Thanks coach.

I see you have your hands pretty full with all the odd players in your W's drama on the right coast (and left 2, I suppose).

"Oh, the humanity!" -radio announcer, Hindenberg fire.

I'm happy 2 let her wonder, though. She was amazingly sweet, which isn't necessarily a bad thing (she owes me) nor a good thing (I'm a sucker for her voice when she's sweet).

The quake results were a legit reason 2 call, though, I figured, though she probably could have pretty quickly figured out on her own that nothing likely got damaged. Heck, my son didn't even wake up.

Oh well, she's got stuff 2 do. I've got stuff 2 do. Any decision about the 4th of July is weeks off still, but as the time approaches, if she asks I'll give her the following answer: "I'll go if you'll agree 2 not have anything 2 do with RM for the rest of your life, AND we get professional help from someone experienced with infidelity." But not until the time approaches. Until then, it's "we need 2 spend this time apart."

End of story.

-ol' 2long

Ok 2long,
Where are you at.

(and BTW, the trip with Beer sounds really good, I wouldn't blame you.)

SS

ss:

Well, she's called again 2day and I answered. The river has water in it, and the site has 3 feet of grass on it (all grown in the past month since I was last there). They need 2 weedwhack it before they can even see not 2 hit the tree stumps all over where they park. Then, 2 see the ground at all.

I don't think anything's going 2 change. What the hell do I expect?

If I go 2 hook up with you, are you going 2 be busy the night of the 3rd? That's when Deep Impact hits the comet (around midnight your time). It's also going 2 be getting low in the SW, so farther north (where Aphelion's talking about) will be less optimal.

-ol' 2long

So my W just sent me an email asking if there's any tricks 2 getting the lawnmower started.

The lawnmower!

No ILYs, no nothing else.

...so I thought a bit and sent this reply:

"It's got 2 have gas in it! ;o)

And you need 2 push on that little bulb thing on the front 2 prime it with gas. I think it says about three times, but it will take several since it's been sitting so long.

Get rid of Rat Meat, okay?"

-ol' 2long

You could always replace the last line with something between the lines of "Also removing any rat meat or rat carcasses out of the blades or mechanism seems to work like a charm. Wonder if removing our own Rat problem would make our marriage run smoother?"

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

ALW:

I may do something like that next time, but I already sent it... ...verbatim!

-ol' 2long

So I talked 2 my DD a while last night while she was watering the yard (and her H was, 2!). First time I've had a chance 2 talk 2 her since her mom told her about contact, only 2 find I'd already told her.

I musta been getting the feeling that everybody was agreeing with my W about my "unenforceable" NC email, but my DD quashed any doubts on her end about that. My W had given me the impression that my DD was still planning on going 2 OOSP for the 4th, but she doesn't really want 2 go (and is hoping 2 have a new job by then anyway). She asked how the meeting with the lawyer went, and I told her (but I forgot 2 tell her how expensive DV will be), and she says she doesn't blame me and would probably have done the same thing in my position.

I was just reading coach's latest post, and I think I understand the feeling. My W left on Friday. Friday night I was relieved. Sa2rday and Sunday nights I think I was pretty depressed. Last night was better, partly because my st2dent and I solved a bunch of nagging problems at work yes2rday, so I was distracted from obsessing. So last night was quite a bit better. I posted some, then tried out some new software for processing Jupiter videos, listened 2 some iTunes, and hit the hay. My W made the bed in the master bedroom, and I haven't so much as dis2rbed the pillows since - I prefer the parlor downstairs. No TV, and I pretty much don't miss it (I can watch movies on my laptop if I need 2 entertain mindlessly).

Do I miss my W? Nope, not at all. Not at the moment. Not the incomprehensible alien body-snatcher replacement, for sure.

-ol' 2long

ALW:

I'm trying 2 reason with a brick wall, only one with a '2de!

Here's my W's response 2 my li'l email yes2rday:

"Well, Thanks for the suggstions, but I already had
tried all those tricks...In regard to the other
demand... It doesn't seem to matter how much, or
what I say about this subject .. Please consider
calling Kaiser, maybe another outside person could help.
I would prefer to work on making something special
between us and stop living in the past..."

I find it interesting that she acknowledges, probably for the first time in 3 years, that "maybe another outside person could help." But since I'm already working with somebody, I don't feel compelled 2 go 2 Kaiser at this time. She hasn't gone 2 counseling in several months, and we haven't gone 2gether in 3 years this month.

Not surprisingly, I would also prefer working on making our relationship something special and stop living in the past. 2 do that, RM must be buried deeply in the past as well. Absolutely.

-ol' 2long

Solving (nagging) problems at work! Now, there's a concept I should try.

It's amazing that you can compartmentalize your life well enough to work. Yesterday at work, I did nothing (really) and today it's already 10am and still I've done nothing.

I'm going to lose my job if I keep this up.

That's why I tried to back away from MB a couple weeks ago.

OK, I'll work now. Really, I will.

(but first, I'll check the stock market.)

-AD

AD:

It is very very hard 2 concentrate, but as you know you must make the effort.

This email shows me just how easily it is for the BS 2 be shredded emotionally all over again just by hearing that fog-reaffirmation crap from the WS. I need 2 put a stop 2 our communication while she's away.

-ol' 2long

2long, the best way to talk to a brick wall is by holding a sledge hammer and a really big scary looking drill... that or just about the ugliest wallpaper or most awful looking paint swatch you can find.

She acknowledges an outside person could help... help YOU and your insane demands! You insane insane man!

ALW:

Thanks for the humor, but I'm really ticked off right now. Think I'd better get msyelf off 2 work now.

I'm thinking of a response, but will have 2 calm down a LOT before/if I send one.

I'm also thinking of contacting HF (her current, last-remaining best friend), since my W read my NC email 2 her and she allegedly agreed that it was unenforceable.

...but this is all probably a waste of time and effort. If I do anything, it should probably be 2 schedule another appointment with the lawyer and give him the $5k 2 get the ball rolling.

That, and send out a couple resumes.

-ol' 2long

((((2long)))))

Maybe I should start charging you a copayment for our "visits"

LOL

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

It would seem like it is always her way or the highway. How can she not see that making something special between you two needs to start with a commitment from her to have absolutely no contact with RM? She either has too much pride to capitulate in any way or she can not get beyond blaming you for the state of your marriage and just can not see beyond her own nose.

So, she is basically telling you that you have some mental disorder keeping you from accepting the R on her terms...that being if and when there is an opportunity for contact and continued R with RM then you need to just accept it and live as the easy going, compliant, fixit H you've been for the better part of your M.

I don't see how you can compromise on that one point of NC any more. Unenforceable...indeed!

I am sorry she is so hard headed.

Sorry WAT, I've had 2long's email addy for some time.

But I have to agree, your comment was "masterful."



Just musing, or a serious question?



2Long, having had it take 3 years for my wife to finally reach the NC state, I understand.

I have "figured it out" as to the why going NC after a long-term affari is so hard for many WS's, especially women WS's.

Care to talk about it with a "Creationist" or should I continue to just read and not comment?

FH:

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hope you didn't take offense 2 that! I sure didn't intend my digs as offensive.

Sure, I'd love 2 hear your take!

I'm still trying 2 decide whether it's worth it 2 say anything at all - 2 my W or HF. Some ways, I think this kind of non-verbal communication with my W is helpful, but mostly I don't. Also, I think sometimes that HF might be helpful, 2. After all, she's the one hiring RM for the upcoming job that my W is considering taking over in a few months (when HF moves back 2 the south where her H got a good job recently).

I dunno. Thoughts, all?

-ol' 2long

YIKES! My "therapy" costs would double! 2 $20/visit!

-ol' 2long

Oh well. I sent this reply:

"2long: I hope the lawnmower started at some point. It really took me a lot of pulls on the rope last time we were there 2 get it running. Once it started the first time, it was pretty easy after that.

W: I would prefere to work on making something special between us and stop living in the past...

2long: Please think about what you just said here. *I* would also love 2 work on our relationship and stop dwelling on the past, but RM is not *IN* the past, and your family and I need him 2 be.

-2long"

-ol' 2long