Wow, That giver/Taker theory really hits home with me. I went out on a date with this girl recently whom I was initially attracted to but I couldn't help but notice that it was one-sided. Not the attraction part, but the part where I ask all the questions, I make the first, second, third and fourth moves while she sits back like a lump and takes it all in. She was so uninteresting for the mere fact that she seemed uninterested. I'm not going after that type of relationship anymore. My Ex-wife was the ultimate taker and I was the ultimate giver. I wanted to make her life better and I did but it never made her reciprocate and the messed up part about it was that I never expected her to. I have been struggling with this subject for awhile and wondering why I go after these people who I called self absorbed or shallow and now I realize that it was almost as if I was encouraging that behavior by putting up with it. Well not anymore. The ultimate red flag for me will be when someone does not reciprocate my gestures of affection and support. Takers don't do it for me anymore because they literally take everything you got and give you nothing in return. They are a project that I'm not willing to take on anymore.

Lexxy,

He sounds like someone who wants to put all the blame of a failed relationship on his ex. I bet if you met his ex she would be a very nice giving person like yourself.

Like someone else said "RUN!"

Big red flag.

Sunny

OK -- I ran. (Just an update for y'all.)

Hey Sunny,

Why don't you keep your opinions to yourself because nobody really cares what you think. I love it when ignorant people chime in on other people's experiences with a generalization like that without knowing any of the details.

Whoa cowboy!

Take a look at her post again, and to whom she replied.

Perhaps she was talking about this in Lexxy's first post,



You don't really know if Sunny is talking about you or Lexxy's man mentioned in the first post. And since her message is in reply to one posted by Lexxy, I'd hold off on the judgment until I got clarification.

But that's just me.

T

ps, I checked the link in her message and it was in reply to this:

I talk very little about my ex on a date. She is the past, my date is the present and maybe the future. I am not a fanatic about exorcising my ex from my life. I have not tossed out the vacation photos with her in them. She was part of my life and I can't deny that. But, talking about the ex, even in a matter-of-fact way is deadly. It gets interpreted as your being perhaps still in love with her, or still needing to recover, or needing therepy or some other nasty thing. Avoid it.