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Joined: Apr 1999
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Please leave us as we are. <P>I came here 6 months ago frightened, uncertain and alone. Very clearly in danger of losing my husband. The people I have met here helped me. They dried my tears, made me laugh, hope, and look at someone outside myself. <P>In the midst of pain I could offer solace to someone else. There were people who had it worse than I did! I was so surprised. In helping someone I helped me.<P>Then there were the ones who had been here longer. Who had either suceeded of failed, but who were going on. So many seemed to get better. I did.<P>The cross-exchange of information and hope would be hindered. Please let us go on offering a helping hand or finding the shoulder to cry on as our situation waxes and wanes.<P>God bless you for this site. I know I bless you .
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Joined: Apr 1999
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I would like at least one split....<BR>a forum for those of us in Plan B or divorcing and trying to recover from that...<BR>Maybe:<BR>Discovery and dealing with infidelity<BR>Plan A and Marriage rebuilding support<BR>Plan B and beyond<P>i think people would naturally move through the categories and old-timers would bounce back to the other forums for support<P>------------------<BR>Kellie<BR>Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough<P>
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Joined: Jun 1999
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I think you should keep this forum as the general infidelity forum, but should also offer additional ones. There's nothing to stop people in different stages of the affair/recovery to continue posting here as well. The others have already listed some great ideas. Rebuilding after the affair would be my first choice for a subcategory.<p>[This message has been edited by Distrusting (edited September 24, 1999).]
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Joined: Jul 1999
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I really like being able to read and learn from everyone's experiences. Like a couple of others the only problem I have is finding a success story when I really need a lift. They tend to get lost, you know. Maybe a place to find those would be nice. But I wouldn't want our "successes" to only post there - we need their input, too.
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. . . no choice in the matter; therefore, respectfully decline to offer a vote accordingly . . .
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Joined: May 1999
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I agree with the majority of people here. Please leave it just as it is.<P>If I hadn't found this site 6 months ago I don't know where I'd be or where my marriage would be. <P>The people here have given me hope, solace, support and spiritual guidence. <P>So again as someone else said "Why fix it if it isn't broken?"<P>We would have an awful hard time keeping up with one another if it was split up. <P>------------------<BR>God bless you and all of us.<P>Samantha<BR>
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Joined: Dec 1969
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Steve,<P>This is a very helpful forum and if you leave things as is, no harm done. But, I guess I'm in the minority in that I think having subcategories for <P>1) those whose spouse is CURRENTLY involved in an affair<P>and<P>2) those whose spouse has had an affair but are in recovery<P>could be extremely helpful. For some reason, many believe that having subcategories would somehow limit our exposure to each other, but I don't think that would be the case at all. Just because there are subcategories doesn't mean people who post there can't and won't cross reference each other. I know for a fact that I would still visit the other category to gain/offer insight as needed. <P>Whichever road you choose, I'm sure this site and forum will still continue to help many people.<P>Thanks for giving us a voice. ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif) <P>------------------<BR> Love is meant to heal. Love is meant to renew. Love is meant to oust all fear. Love is meant to harmonize differences. Love is meant to bring us closer to God.
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Joined: Sep 1999
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Steve,<BR>I think it should be left as it is. Some people brought up the idea of splitting it up into Recovering and currently involved in an affair. Recovering assumes that the same affair or another one isn't going on that we don't know about. It's nice to not have to fit into a category or to know which one you would fit into. I don't think the group would really split. Thanks for this site.
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i like it as it is. sometimes someone will post in another forum, and make reference to it, but i am too "lazy" to go read it. i think i would find myself "stuck" on one forum, and would miss the randomness i enjoy here (some topic titles can lure me in, and i get a different perspective than what i was expecting to find, i like that).<BR>or, keep the "general" forum, and add one or 2 different categories, as suggested above.<BR>thanks for asking <P>------------------<BR>for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, till death do us part.<P><BR>
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Joined: Jun 1999
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I vote with the majority, keep it just the way it is. It is a lot to read through but I know when I came here I was looking for all the information I could get and seeing all the different stages people were in was very helpful for me.
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Please leave it the way it is.<BR> --Murph
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Joined: Jul 1999
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Im in agreement with leaving it this way... I've learned compassion for all sides and phases of affairs... If you broke it up, I wouldn't have learned that valuable lession.
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Joined: Sep 1999
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Mr. Harley, <BR>I would like to suggest that you create a category for those who have betrayed their spouses. I wish there was a place where they could go and give each other support, and by doing so, might leave more opportunities for hurt spouses, to help other hurt spouses. <P>Good Luck,<BR>
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Joined: May 1999
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1. Yes<BR>2. 4<BR>3. Stages - Discovery and dealing with the Affair, Plan A, Plan B, General<P>I like the site as is but there are a couple subject matters that I do try to avoid. And I welcome change. Try it for 3 months and be willing to go back if the users prefer the current format.<BR>I’m not to creative but I do like FAQs and one of the posts above made a suggestion of having a moderator who members could forward exceptional posts to for inclusion in a read only section. There is some really good advise buried in some posts with pretty off the wall titles that are never shared with many. This is a fantastic site. What a blessing it has been to me. Thank you very much<BR>
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I like the idea of having a "success stories" category.
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I like the idea of a catagory for marriages where the affair is active and those in recovery. Also Sailor's suggestion about a FAQ.<P>Just want to say how much this BB helped me on this journey to a stronger, healthier marriage...thanks!<P>------------------<BR>Joan
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Steve, <BR>First I would like to thank you for your part in helping me save my marriage.<P>As for the questions,<BR>1. YES<P>2. 3<P>3. Active - Currentley involved<BR> Recovery<BR> Success Stories<P><BR>p.s. I also do not think it would be beneficial to differentiate between betrayed and betrayer as both sides of the issue have been a ton of help for me!<P>
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Joined: Jul 1999
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Steve,<BR>First.... God Bless you all for creating this site!<P>I don't think you should change this format. I agree with many of the others, that the cross exchange of information is VITAL. Infidelity has so many faces beyond betrayed or betrayer, active or recovery, sexual or emotional... (I could go on all day, but you said to keep it brief ).<P>I do like the idea of the "Success Story" catagory... they are always so inspiring.<P>Butterfly <P>------------------<BR>My favorite quote....<BR>"Hello, this is God. I will be handeling your problems today. I will not need your help, so sit back and have a good day."<BR>
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Joined: Aug 1999
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Joined: Jun 1999
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Steve.....<P>An expression of Thanks from us all....<P> <A HREF="http://www1.bluemountain.com/cards/box6892b/umt2zdmnxxgbvp.htm" TARGET=_blank>http://www1.bluemountain.com/cards/box6892b/umt2zdmnxxgbvp.htm</A> <P>God Bless You!<P>Hugs & Kisses,<BR>TCF<P>ps~ my vote is to leave it as is.<P>------------------<BR>If you have a special occasion, or see someone here who could use a card... please e-mail me at card_fairie@hotmail.com. <BR>Hugs & Kisses,<BR>TCF
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