Well, now that I've caught my breath <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> - sounds like you have much to hope for. You certainly know the cautions that are out there - if I were her, I'd be looking for someone who does not push me, is sensitive to where I've been, but initiates new things with me as well. I would probably end up thinking of the new person either as someone who will be part of my future, or someone who is part of my past (if all we did was talk about our respective histories.) It's the future I'd want. If someone became primarily my confidant about the past, I suspect the time would come that I'd want to move on from that person as well.

Still, history is a predictor of the future, and has to be dealt with emotionally too.

Do not be surprised if she doesn't want as much as you do down the road. But, if BOTH of you are willing to take it slow, see if you can build something NEW together, then it sure sounds good to me! So, if your brakes are in good working order, and your engine (you!) running smoothly, being with you could be an easy, smooth ride. (I don't mean this to sound crude at all - just looking for a good metaphor.)

So glad for you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Ain't NOTHIN shallow about another Vette friend!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
I've owned many over the years. My current ride is a 2004 C5 Z06. Best car I've ever owned! And it's [color:"red"] TORCH RED [/color] [color:"red"] [/color] with black leather interior.

Polo green vert sounds awesome!!! C4 I'm guessing. What year?

I'm very active in the Corvette world. Make my annual pilgrimeges to Bowling Green NCM, etc. I'm big into racing & am an advanced race driving instructor out of RPM Motorsports in Atlanta.

"Save the wave!"
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

High Flight

Deja, SR, Karona ~ Each of you THANK YOU so much for the wisdom & insight you're sharing. I'm reading carefully each thing you've written. You guys know the score for sure. This MB site is a fountain of wisdom mostly learned the hard way.

Deja ~ I think you've captured the essence of the situation pretty well. I have to listen to her past of course, but also there has to be a certain "future element" in it for there to be any sign of life.

Well....last night I shared with her something very private and personal. I'm the sort that writes out my Personal Life Goals each year. I carry it with me in my Day Timer. It is periodically reviewed throughout the year to keep myself on course.

So I shared those with her. I haven't shared them with anyone before like that. She was blown away touched! Then I shared with her my top 5 love needs as per testing done back in counseling days. By the time I finished, she was actually crying on the phone! Ever since then, she has gotten verbally much closer to me and we've spoken 3 times today with her initiating 2 of those calls, and I've received 3 emails from her. She wants to see me tomorrow night, so I'm firing up my plane & flying up to see her for dinner after work.

Those goals & needs were all about my future of course. It seems from her response, that this is exactly what she wants to do...begin concentrating more on the future than on the past.

Yet your caution is well taken. She may not have the same level of interest in the future if this is more about her recovery than "us". I'm prepared to accept that if it happens. I sure hope not however.

Just checking in with you HF.

I thinking things are going pretty great for you since you haven't been checking in! And I'm here to say I'm happy for you!!

I hope the relationship grows for you both.

Fill us in when you can.

Karona

She just left driving home....whew!!! Lots to cover. But let me catch my breath & get a few things done. I'll post soon.

Well, here's the promised update.

So far, the feelings & connection seem to be growing very proportionally & with mutuality between us.

We've now spent 2 weekends together. Clearly our compatibility quotient is exceedingly high. Across the board ranging from what we eat to how we play to the education & religious backgrounds, etc. It's as if we could've come from the same exact family. We've been to the same schools, even etc.

If I looked all around, I couldn't come up with a more compatible person on paper -- really I couldn't.

We're both physically attracted to one another without question. We "look complete & well suited" together. We've got that "chemistry" thing going...without a doubt. BUT, there's much more. There's just a strong emotional / spiritual bond that has formed. Quickly. That's sort of scarey, but it's there.

Both of us admire the other. Already, a lot of respect has formed between us for each other. Conversations are deep and substantial & flow quite easily. And yet, we're not afraid of silence - nor does it seem at all uncomfortable to lapse into silence for awhile.

Probably the most profound moment yet was last Sunday. She was preparing for the drive home. We had been out at the pool & deck back of my house. We went inside to cool off a bit. Kenny G was on my stereo. She reached up and just put herself into my arms without a word. I held her tightly and stroked her long gorgeous hair with one hand - just rocking her very, very gently & slowly. We didn't say a word...as the music continued, I began to feel her go limp & then quietly she began to cry, her body softly trembling from the tears. I wasn't far from it myself. Overwhelmed at the feeling that truly it was possible for me to be completely in love again some day with someone who wants me & understands me!

My own tears joined hers. We both pulled back & looked into each other's tear-filled eyes with wonder & amazement that together our hearts feel so much the same.

I will fly up to see her tonight. Then she is coming here next weekend again. We've both told our parents about the other & are planning for that rendevous in July perhaps.

I'm thinking alot about what I know ref rebound relationships. I'm trying to be careful. Prayerful. Deliberate. I just hope that I'm not hers. I can tell you she is NOT mine.

High Flight

Oh HighFlight, I'm so happy for you.
You give me so much hope.

I loved reading about your romance. It sounds completely wonderful.

There must be so much love between the two of you already to have shared that moment.

I think you are wise, have learned so much and will handle this very carefully.
It's incredible how much the two of you share from your pasts.

Go forward with all that you know, continue to pray about it, and I hope the very best for the two of you.

Karona

Thank you Karona!! I mean that. Love is a wonderful thing. I believe in it's purest form it is a precious gift from God for the asking.....

Yes, I have to say that I'm experiencing a genuine sense & decision of love for her. But it's early. We will proceed with caution & care. We pray together each day beginning and end. What a difference that makes in keeping things focused & correct!

There IS so much hope for you Karona!! You are God's precious daughter. He hasn't left you!!!

High Flight

Better than a romance novel... cheaper than a romance novel... able to leap tall buildings with a single bound! It's HF - come to satiate all of our curiousities.

Loving every minute of it, HF!

Deja~ You're hilarious!!! Glad you're enjoying.

Well, here's the latest installment....

We spent a wonderful past weekend together. Friday night she arrived. We got in the pool at sunset & just lay down in a cozy inflatable boat & watched the stars & moon & told each other significant stories from our lives growing up. I told her that I wanted her to "be there" best she could & me with her since we didn't actually grow up together. It was truly fun. We talked for about 4 hours non stop. I hated to see her leave to go to the hotel nearby.

Next day we went to church together & celebrated Communion. It was moving! Wonderful harp music & singing too. Then we meandered home doing some siteseeing along the way. When we got here, she wanted to take pictures (in our dress-up clothes) using my tripod & our digital cameras. We did! It was truly fun since we both are photograpers by hobby. We set up the scenes & enjoyed teasing each other.... Got some great shots too! Came inside & viewed them on the computer right away. We DO look really good together...like we belong!! You know how some couples just look "right". Well, we do.

Then we shared the preparation of an awesome lunch. We created our own spaghetti sauce (BEST I've ever had no kidding! Start with RAGU & go from there!!) and an awesome salad. Had some wonderful white grape juice to go with it all & frozen lime sherbert for a lite desert.

We took a walk. Then came back & napped for a bit. Sundown came...we hopped in the pool to enjoy the warm water & cool night air. Found ourselves "helping the water keep each other warm" ;>)

Then we came inside & fixed fresh grapes, dried pineapple, bananas & kettle popcorn. Hauled it all into the living room...put in an oldie goldie "Hope Floats" & watched it till we both fell asleep...along about the dance scene towards the end when "all is well"! Indeed! All is well between the 2 of us it seems.

Sunday she had to go to a photo shoot for a video she's helping produce. And I had to fly a trip. So, tonight she's in Chicago on a business trip. I'm here. We miss each other as witnessed by the 6 or 7 phone calls we've shared since she left just over 24 hours ago.

And life goes on....My goodness I never thought this could happen again!

High Flight

Thanks for sharing HighFlight!
Sounds like things are progressing rather well and I'm indeed very happy for you!

Enjoy all the moments that the two of you share.

Karona

So coming full circle in this discussion. Amazing how my own life has turned around since the origination of this thread.

Here's where I'm starting to come from. If you feel this fear of commitment --> then it may well be a sure fire sign of either it's just way too early for you to be in a committed long term relationship; OR, you truly have NOT met the "right one" yet.

I've met many people during the 1.5 yrs I've been alone. NONE of them were bad choices. I just don't attract that sort. But, until now, there's no way I could've made an ultimate committment to any of them. Now I'm beginning to sense that I could and will should the relationship progress to that point.

I pray each day for specific guidance in all of this. I know I am receiving it - because He promises!

High Flight

PS Is there a place on this site anywhere where I could post a picture of the 2 of us? It would be terrifically interesting for us to all see each other!!!

HF