Why is this poster here?

We are being used.

What are we being used for? Some kind of emotional masturbation?

This thread should die. Errn, Ark^^ pointed you in the right direction. You belong on gloryb.com.

www.gloryb.com. Your sisters await you. They have all the right words. They agree with you 100%.
You're in the wrong place.

If you choose to be honest, come back. If you choose dishonesty, stay away.

TogetherAlone

TogetherAlone...

I'd like to order a bacon cheeseburger with chili fries to go ....

and a Pepsi ONE with lemon (Mel won't let me drink you-know-what-brand)

Pep<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

mel isn't so tough. I mean really.... who in Texas doesn't drink Dr. Pepper anyway????

Chili fries coming up, Pep. Can't eat them myself, they make my lips sting. And Mr.TogetherAlone isn't happy about that. Some like it hot and some...don't, you know?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

TogetherAlone

why do we have to bring TEXAS in to every friggen post out there...for heavens sake..I am so sick of TEXAS....
it's
TEXAS THIS
TEXAS THAT

bleeeeecchhhhhhhhhhhhhh

TEXAS SHMEXIS

TEXANS DON"T DRINK TEA>>>>THEY DRINK SWEET TEA
TEXAN DON"T DRINK PEPSI THEY DRINK COKE>>NOW THEY DON'T DRINK EITHER THEY DRINK DR PEPPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I'll have keep peeking out the windows..cause I am SURE the TEXAS RANGERS on there way here to arrest me on some trumped up charges...................

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

whew I feel sooooo much better now...all the tension is gone...

Hasn't texas succeeded YET????????????????????????

I'm not signing my name...you know who I am...

Mr. Pep looooves my hot lips!

harrharr

Pep<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Okay ERRN,

I'm gonna jump in here. If you are a Christian, you know the answers. Having sex with anyone that is not your spouse is an evil act in the eyes of God. Knowing it is an evil act, and then continuing to do it is rebellion to God. And no one has ever escaped the consequences of rebellion.

I heard the same stuff about my wife's OM (the Troll), even after she came home. How, except for the A, he was a nice guy, listened to her, understood her. All of my negatives...he seemed to have positives in those areas. When anyone pointed out his negatives, she just glossed them over. The Fog was deep, as it is with you. Do you think Satan would send someone that wasnt "perfect?" Come on, the Devil isnt that stupid.

One rule of thumb with affairs...the OP is NEVER as good as you think, and the BS is never as bad as you think! But in the non-reality of the Fog, the extremes are all that the WS will accept.

Thus, by your statements here, it is very evident that you have entered the Land of Fog. My wife said the same things you did about our 8 1/2 years before her A. How she thought now that she was never in love with me, how we were never right for each other. How, if she had know then what she knows now, she would have married someone like the OM and not me. Blah, blah, blah.

But guess what? No where does that square with reality. These are lies she told herself, the revision of history so as to justify the unjustifiable. You are doing the same with your husband.

Was he many of the things you wrote? I am sure he was at times. But do I believe this guy was all of that, with nothing on the positive side...just someoen you settled for? Not for a minute.

Is the OM capable of giving money to the poor and helping old ladies across the street? Sure. Is he capable of manipulating his body in a way to give you orgasms? Sure. Is he this wonderful "soulmate" that you have made him out to be? I will bet my life that he isnt!!

But guess what? Right now, you wont hear this. Just as other WSs didnt hear it. I learned as I told these things to my wife that I was just planting seeds. That one day, as the fog cleared, she would remember the truth...and also remember what I said while she was in the affair. And while I am not much about rubbing it in..."I told you so" is not far outside of what she knows about this.

But instead, you will go away from here and not post anymore because no one will accept the unacceptable here. You will go off with the ONLY person that knows you, that knows what you are going thru. That is as broken up as you are over all of this. I mean, the OM is more broken up about this than your husband will be once he found out. The uncaring BH...arent you glad he has no feelings?

But you will go away and live in this fantasy world. And believe it to be reality. But God has said "I WILL NOT be mocked." Your rebellion ERRN will lead to consequences...I can guarantee that!! God will nto let you continue down this road of rebellion unscathed.

You know, later on...when it all comes crashing down and you get those consequences, you will look back at what you said about your marriage. You will realize what was said from others here was true. That there is a third option...one where your marriage is all that it should be.

I just see and hear you now and think "She will get it. They all do eventually." This is why studies have shown that over 70% of people that divorced, five years later, wish they had worked on their marriage harder...rather than leaving. But of course, your situation is different!!

ERRN, we have the ability to see reality right now. You do not. There are FWSs here telling you what you do not want to hear. So, angrily, you say you wont be back. That's fine. But you wont forget either.

And when it all comes crashing down (which it will...it ALWAYS does)...when the OM turns out to be something else, something you didnt expect...when you have lost a man that has been showing signs that he is moving forward and trying to become the man you have needed...you will remember what all have said here. And, as my wife did...we can hold back from saying "I told you so."

One more interesting thought here...just as you have said that your husband has shown increased interest in you and the marriage, you run off with the immoral OM (and he is immoral...not the nice guy you are pretending he is). Just as your husband seems to be wanting to find a relationship with you...you pull out and run away to some "soulmate."

Interesting!

Anyway, there is not much to say to a WS that is in the fog. The pain level will have to get much higher before yo uwill be ready to accept the truth. And when it does, these people that supposedly dont understand you and what you are going through, will be here to help you pick up the pieces.

But of course...if you would listen now, there might not be as many pieces to pick up.

So, go ahead and disobey God. Go ahead and throw away a man who is your family, who is a part of you. Go ahead and believe the OM is this great guy. All OPs are great in the beginning. If they werent great, then why would you go for them? But when reality hits...your feelings will have led you to a place that you wish you had never gone.

One reason I will never cheat on my wife is that I do not want that on my soul, that failure on my mind. As hurt as I was from being betrayed by the immoral acts of the OM and my wife, I cannot imagine the pain and feelings that come to a person once they wake up and realize how low they had gone and how much destruction and pain they had wrought.

Nope. I wont go there, not because I couldnt be in the same situation you have been. I wont go there because I damn well will not let my feelings lead me to a place that my brain knows isnt right. As the Bible says, the heart is at its basis...wicked.

So, you continue to follow your feelings...follow your heart. Dont listen to reason. Dont use your head. Dont be an adult and use your intellect to overpower your hormones and your feelings. As I told my wife in the middle of the affair...you are acting like a 17 year old girl in heat.

"But daddy, Mark is wonderful...I want to marry him. If I get pregnant, he will be there for me. He loves me."

And then, two years later...with a kid and no father around, living in Daddy's house...she realized that it was all feelings, all hormones. And she never wanted to accept reality.

Go on ERRN. We here that are not in the Fog know you will be back. One way or the other. Either you will want to do right no matter your feelings. Or you will be forced to do right because your whole world will implode.

While you have done an immoral act, you can be redeemed. But you must first get right. It was interesting that you said OM says grace before his meals. Well, guess what? God doesnt hear that. God never listens to anyone, responds to anyone or blesses anyone that is in rebellion to Him.

You are in rebellion. So is the OM. God is not listening. It says in the Bible that when a married couple gets together sexually, that the angels applaud outside your door.

But, everytime you and OM get together...guess who is applauding outside your door? I can assure you, they arent angels or God.

I guess I had better stop now as I get this feeling that none of this will sink in to your head right now. But, I do know you will get it soon.

I pray (and I know He is listening) that God does WHATEVER (even if it is extreme) it takes to get you out of rebellion and to do the right thing. Whatever it takes.

In His arms.

My drink of choice ~ caffeine free diet PEPSI! ( <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Mel!)

Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

you are absolutely right. DOWN WITH TEXAS!!!!!!

Patriot, the OU fan what lives in Oklahoma.

Maybe I'm going out on limb here errn

however being a FWS dont try to tell me all the OM good points because I tied to convince myself back then of those things too. To be blunt I was a useful piece of meat to the OM lets call a spade a spade.

You said 'affairs just happen" NO THEY DO NOT you know thats not true errn. No YOU CHOOSE to have the affair. The affair did not 'happen' to me I choose it..so did you didn't you?
Lets not fool ourselves here!!

Anyway lets move on.... I think you have 2 options.....

One is to continue on until your H finds out and then all the crap that follows ..and YOU KNOW he will find out.

or

TWo, you realy knuckle under and get OM to have NC - if hes halfway decent he will do as you ask wont he - then WORK on your M fully with counselling and if it all falls apart after you fully trying and working your heart out...then if your OM is even part of what you feel he is - sorry its hard to believe from my own experience - then you may have a chance at a real relationship with him IF he is as good as you say.

However if it comes to that oneday remember this .... he was willing to cheat WITH you as a married woman, would he do that again ths time TOO you..even as a defacto couple ?????????? food for thought errn.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

OH BROTHER!! BUNCHA TEXAS WANNABE's and silly Okie's on this thread! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

GOD BLESS TEXAS!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Dr Pepper indeed! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Excuse me while I vomit. You mean to tell me that you KNOW that this man would NOT want to be married to an adulterer yet you have decided to keep him in a marriage BASED ON A LIE? Are you really this cruel and manipulative? Is he your PET?

You have no right to lie to your H about his life. He is a HUMAN BEING who has a RIGHT to make a choice about his life. He is not your DOG. You have NO RIGHT to make that choice for him and keep him a prisoner with your lies.

Tell the man the TRUTH, errm, about his OWN LIFE and allow him the dignity to make the choice about his OWN life. That is HIS RIGHT.

I think this calls for a nice song. Let's sing along, folkses! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

sing it, baby!

I agree.. let's SING!!!

YAY!

OKIES! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Don't make me open up a can o Texas whoop [censored] on ya, Okieboy! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Oh crud, I just have 2 respond 2 this!

"It ia Lust I am sure, but there is love too."

Boy, I would sure hope so. Though, I seriously doubt it. Not the kind of love that will sustain you when you are older, I'm afraid.

"No, he is not a looser."

I assume you referring 2 the concept of "lose", rather than "loose". Sadly, he's both a loser and a "looser". And even if he weren't, he IS a liar and a cheat, as are you by being involved with him. Sorry, mam, that's the fax.

"He is probably one of the most compassionate, caring, good hearted people I have ever met. He would give you the shirt off his back."

ESPECIALLY once you've given him the shirt off yours, apparently.

"I have seen him do things for strangers most people wouldn't do for people they know."

What a swell guy. I've done things like that. Would you have an affair with me? Thankfully, for all concerned, I wouldn't have an affair. Discovering and dealing with my W's A for all these years has taught me what true PAIN feels like, and NOT 2 wilfully afflict the same on others.

"And this A is tearing him up too. He has actually tried to end it a few times, but we just end up back together."

Then NEITHER of you have tried hard enough. It's that simple.

-ol' 2long

Ah, Mortarman! My hardcore Christian friend!

I agree with EVERYTHING you said!

best,
-ol' 2long

Talk about rewriting marital history huh?

Thanks my friend.

I also pray that He does whatever it takes for you to be able to overcome your situation. You have endured enough!

In His arms.