I do not know what of this might be too racy. Here it is, dated June 2:

"My earlier remarks about pulling down your pants keep whistling through my head. God, what a nice image. I visualize you coming out of the bathroom wearing, as we said before, your shoes, your undies, and a smile. My fantasy has you standing there, smiling at me, your legs slightly parted. And, as you stand there, I kneel down in front of you to softly feel up and kiss your legs until I get to the undies. Then I want to slowly slide them down your legs and over your shoes so that you are now standing there for me in only the shoes and a smile. And that beautiful little patch of hair that feels so great to my lips. Geez, what a mind-blowing vision!
I can't tell you how perfect I find your body. Every part of it matches my idea of perfection. It's sleek, it's soft where it should be soft - and the taste between your legs is truly exciting, Tex. Talk about mind-blowing! And when I find the little hard spot with my tongue, I've never been so happy in my life! I just wish you could live inside my mind when I see you and touch you and taste you. Then you'd feel tremendous, knowing that you are giving such unmitigated joy to me.
Please, when we are at the ********, let me look, feel, taste you for hours. It'll be the most wonderful gift you could possibly give me.
I can't wait. That day will be so perfect! We'll just let it flow in whatever direction seems most natural. I hope it makes you as happy as it will make me.
Because I am in love with my beautiful Texan. So much.
****"

I agree that in most situations and When dealing with reasonable and rationale persons ... this attitude your expounding makes all the sense in the world.

Give the person a chance to do the right thing (or at least explain themselves or such) ....Go to them first and thereby leave a "sense" of your being more noble and understanding Fresh and In There Mind (to help counter some of the unpleasantness that is to follow).

I'd agree if WS were in any way Rationale and reasonable creatures.

Unfortunately, for the Majority ......They ain't.

Also:
with as secretive, manipulative and "craving contact" as the A partners are ....I think its Near Impossible to keep them from damage control ONCE the cat is out of the bag.
Perhaps Not impossible ....but tremendously difficult.

And IMO this whole process is HARD Enough .....Why make it any harder on yourself (when you don't have too?)?
YOUR WS and OP have enough advantages ......Don't give them anymore!


Just curious:
How is it any Easier to do in reverse?? (Tell WW then tell OMW).
To me its just as uncomfortable and unpleasent?
If you could explain please?
Always interested in looking at this Old subject in a new way.

The letter seems pretty clear, Mortar, but interpret it if you wish.

Hey all - do I need to edit that post?? The copy of the email?

Yep, ya got me there. Not easier.

WAT

FaR:

Seeing <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" />
Touching <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />
Tasting <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

Yea, I'd say that about covers it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Hi, found.

I read it, and it is not definitive.

It suggests foreknowledge, but it is not definitive of a physical affair in my opinion. It certainly is definitive for an affair though. Enough so that you should consider not waiting for physical proof to expose.

Edited to add: Reading it again, this looks like something following up previous phone sex, with the real thing planned for next time.

Do you have others?

Gimble

Sounds to me from the letter that they haven't done it yet.

Does it really matter? To them it might because they can claim that "nothing happened." Well, maybe - if true - this can promote marital recovery to some.

So, when are you gonna share this with OM's wife? I suggest including the e-mail that showed their planed rendezvous.

WAT

Yes - they actually met last saturday morning - kissing was apparently involved.
Plus this quote: "I want that, too - a kiss, our lips touching, feeling. A kiss in the Von's parking lot is probably tremendously risky since I must know every living soul in ****** ***** - however, let it not be said that I ever shied away from a risk. Gulp!"
before the meeting. Still going through them for more data.

Here's a nugget:

So, when you finally confront her, don't you also know a lot of folks in ****** ***??

This message also shows she's afraid of getting caught - confirming the value of exposure.

WAT

Oops - did he give me some names?
"N***** and R******* have just left on a bus tour to Mexico for the rest of the day, so here I am at home thinking about you and fantasizing about you being here and rolling around on the floor with me.
Last night it was so much fun as you and I smoothed the bedspread out on the stage. We both knew exactly what was on each other's mind, didn't we? Such beautiful memories.
Last night I was staring at your legs as we all stood in the stairwell outside - I looked up and down your bare legs and couldn't believe how lucky I am that I have known the feel and taste of every inch of what I was looking at. Your inner thighs were what turned me on the most last night - I can still feel how warm they are and how my lips feel when I kiss them. Tonight I'll try to catch a quick glimpse of your thighs once again - I get all aquiver when I see them so close and yet so far out of reach.
Seeing you backstage with all the people around is also extra sensual, because I'm the only one (besides you of course) who knows what is underneath all those pieces of clothing.
You have made me one very lucky and appreciative person, Tex. You have given me so much more than I can ever have hoped for. You just keep giving and giving. I've never known such an unselfish person.
And I love you for it. For so many things.
****"

And it seems he confirmed promiscuous activity.

These are all inbound messages from him to her. I do not have access to sent emails.

Hi, found.

Okay, they have done it.

Bomb time.

You can do it MM style, or if you can't bear the idea of another encounter, get your ducks lined up and set the timer.

As for the email - sickeningly high school.

God bless,
Gimble

AHH! He is out of town for a week. Probably with his wife.
Too bad I do not have her cell phone #.

"**** called me on the cell phone and we agreed to put off doing the pictures for another week or so. There is too much chaos down around here for her to be able to come easily. Besides, as I guessed, she admitted that she really didn't know where Seaport Village is. (I told ya she is not too swift!) So we agreed to do the pix when I get back from Yosemite. I guess I'll have to go to the theater to do them, but maybe we can figure out some way that you can be there, too. Perhaps you also need some more new pictures? Or you want a picture of Liz? (I'd love to do that!) We'll figure out something.
The thought of not reading an e-mail from you for a week is chilling. But yesterday put a protective shield around both of us so that neither time nor distance can touch what we have. And, just think, I'll be back on your actual birthday, flooding you with e-mails and even pictures of Yosemite.
I can feel you thinking of me right now. All week you'll be there sitting on my shoulder - a little angel with me at all times.


I'll write more before the end of today. I love you, angel ******. (And not-so-angelic Tex, too. She's not on my shoulder, but someplace else. Gulp!) ****"

Agree.

Launch the nuke.

Do you know how to get to OM's wife?

Have you considered securing your jointly held liquid assets? Do you have common credit card accounts?

WAT

OK just copied 40 or so emails dating back to about mid-may. Some kinda racy - some raunchy.
I gotta find his wife. That is the way to do it.

What do you mean?
I do not have anything but a home number, and I percieve OM and OMW are in yosemite right now.
Only a common checking account and debt.
And kids. The most precious jointly held assets.
I am querying attorneys right now.

Do you know anyone related to OMW or OM that could give you OMW's cell number? Perhaps a coworker?

Print these emails, make copies, store one copy (electronic and paper) away...get a safety deposit box, a lock box, a fire proof safe, something. WW will deny, deny, deny until she sees the proof, then she will want to get rid of the evidence so she can keep on denying and continue her A.

Is there a hotel or lodge at Yosemite you can ask for their room? Is there a campground you can leave a message for OMW?

I do not know any of the folks in her circle.

I might be able to find someone - but I am very removed from OM and his W.

Yes, removed, good thing, except there is one degree of separation that removes you...have you thought about being tested for STD's?

What I meant was expose to OM's wife - launch the nuke.

If you can't get to her until they return to town, so be it.

But how do you know she's out of town with OM? You're just assuming she is. Call her or go to their home and find out.

In the meantime, Plan A your butt off. You KNOW she's not gonna be getting any messages from OM, so here's your chance for Plan A'ing big time. Make your wife wonder if she's doing the right thing by boinking Mr. Taster.

Regarding the finances, you ought to expect your wife to go ballistic upon exposure and possibly clean out your accounts. This does not typically happen unless there is LOTS of liquid money involved.

WAT