We have not had sex since August. Before she had sex with the first OM.

And to think I saved it for her. Disappointing.

Wow it is amazing how jr high these all get. Brought up some bad memories.

Fire away my friend and best of luck to you. I could not imagine going through this again but I guess like the last time you play with the cards you are dealt.

She should be lucky to have someone like you.

WW's girlfriend lives with in our spare room. I do not know if she knows about this A. I kinda want to ask her if she knows, but if she does she might say something to WW, and totally screw things up.

I guess I will not say anything to her.

I did send an innocent email to one of her co-cast memebers who I met - he is married and might have some details.

One note OM wrote to WW mused if any of the cast might have wondered what was going on.

By that email, I would say that they havent done the deed yet...but have scheduled the big date!!

So, I say again...if you can, I would break it up the day it happens. Be there, where the first part of that image of in shoes and undies happens...but then there is a knock at the door...and the image becomes something else. Otherwise, he will still have that fantasy, so will she. And they will run to act it out, I believe.

I think the event should be traumatic for them, not blissful.

In His arms.

Never mind my last post...Gimble is right...they have done it. Which means, you can wait for the big event to surprise them like I said, or these email are good enough. He has admitted carnal knowledge here. That's enough.

Time to either plan something for the 18th (catching them and exposure) or time to get ahold of the OMW. The only reason I would do the 18th now is to get pictures. With him a big-wig in the city, those pictures will create instant scandal for him.

Then you take them to OMW and watch how he reacts and your WW reacts. If they press forward, then the pictures go out everywhere.

In His arms.

WAT raises some great issues. Take the net couple of days and get ready for the crap to hit the oscillating fan. As angry as she will be, and scared, she might do anything. That is why you see an attorney TOMORROW. Get his advice. Have him draw up ASAP all the papers needed to protect assets and to keep kids with you. Attorneys are notoriously slow. So, by having the paperwork ready ahead of your opening this to the light of day, you can be the first out the gate in court. And being first means a lot. Believe me on this one, okay. By my advance paperwork being ready (ready for any option she might try) as well as all of my intel, to include pictures, etc...I penned my wife in. I got custody of the kids...and she was ordered to pay me over $1000 a month in child support. And by PROVING a PA, she had no hold on any alimony. Actually, she was close to her having to pay me alimony, the judge was so pissed at her.

You must use this time to Plan A, as said above, and get your stuff together. And decide if you are going to wait until the 18th to get the final nails for their coffin.

I think MM's idea has merit. Catching them "bed handed" can be extremely powerful - especially if you end up in divorce court.

But get this - EVEN IF you get there and bust them BEORE they climb into bed, they will still deny anything happened. You "saved" them. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Take it to the bank. But, also, this is where the attorneys will advise you that with the e-mails and pictures of them going into a hotel, they had "predisposition and opportunity" and any judge in the country will conclude that constitutes legal adultery.

The alternative to MM's scheme also has merit - expose at your first opportunity to OM's wife then immediately to your wife. Don't allow the scheduled meeting to occur (of course it may still, and you can still get pics - do not underestimate the stupidity of infidels in heat). You've got juicy e-mails - at least from OM - that can be all the evidence you need to show an affair outside of a legal setting.

Have you tried to call OM's wife to see if she's not away with OM? Do it today!

If she is really out of town with him for a week, that takes you to about the 13th anyway for her to get back into town which is only 5 days before the scheduled meeting. So to wait that long anyway to expose to OM's wife means only another 5 days until Mr. Taster tries to lick his chops. Presumably, your wife is "safe" until then.

Seems like you have some real competing choices as to when to expose.

So, have you implemented a really good Plan A in the meantime?

WAT

Of course, there's the best of all worlds:

Confront your wife soon that you suspect there's something "terribly wrong" in your marriage and "is there someone else again?" No details - just your "feeling."

She will deny it.

"Accept" her denial and Plan A your butt off.

When the OM and wife return to town, conspire with OM's wife to interupt the taste testing party together with you. Show up with digital cameras clicking away. Then you have both her denial and your "proof" with OM's wife right there for the double whammy.

Jerry Springer never had it so easy.

WAT

WAT raises great issues.

One of the major reasons I am saying wait until the 18th and get the pics and intel, is the legal matter. WAT discussed this above. You can NEVER have enough evidence. especially in a divorce case. Remember, the judge wasnt there. She will have an attorney to "explain" those emails.

For a man to get custody of the kids, you are going to have to go the extra mile. If you were a BW, I'd say you were okay andto go forward. But, you are a man, and the burden is much higher in getting those kids. Again, I am a testimony on getting MORE than enough intel. I had to make the case as open and shut as I possibly could.

You can go either way. The OMW will probably see what you see with the emails. As a matter of fact, on the 18th...while your wife and the OM are headed to their meeting, THAT is when I ould visit the OMW.And then the two of you head to where they are meeting. But even without the physical evidence, i think she will go for it.

The dangerous part is once exposed, if she runs straight to court and you arent ready and dont have enough intel.

You have to be perfect.

In His arms.

Yo MM - we were posting at the same time. See above. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

WAT

Great minds think alike, huh?

seriously, this stuff is cookie cutter stuff, as you know WAT. satan doesnt change his ways. he doesnt have to. We fall for the same things, over and over again.

So, the remedy is the same.

In His arms.

MM, WAT, found.

There is one thing to consider, and that is found's ability to pull this off successfully.

Don't forget that this kind of thing comes easily to some men, and not to others.

Found, no one is going to think less of you if you can't handle it. You have to make the decision.

All the best,
Gimble

Gimble makes a great point. We have come up with some options for you. All have their problems and risks. Only YOU can decide on what is best for you. We just want the best for you. And some of us have been down this path. Some wish they have the opportunity you do. Your WW has laid it all out there for you to take charge of.

So, you decide what is best for you. We'll watch your back.

in His arms.

(get ready for a temper tamtrum. clear some stuff off the floor...)

Plan A?
PLAN A?????????
HAVE YOU READ THIS POST!!!!!!! THIS HAS ALL COME TO ME IN THE LAST 24 HOURS!!!!

I wanna open the conversation about how boinking every director is gonna land some really good roles!

OK - just needed to vent.

You guys are great. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I was gonna come home to plan A (or as close to it as an open bleeding organ can get), but she had to run off to make some calls and pick up some stuff from the store. And check cell reception in Yosemite.
Gotta get that yeast infection all cleared up.

OOPS! did I say that out loud!!

You are my only friends. I can not talk to anyone!

Did I say thanks?

Oh, stop. Your making me tear up. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Seriously, you guys are great. I have been silently following your work for the last year - studying and learning. I see that God was preparing me for this week.

Thanks for watching my back. I told the assistant pastor where I work today what was going on, and he said - "can we pray". Oh - he got me a list of lawyers.

Oh well. Nice folks - but Harley is the Master. No one comes close in my book.

The music has stopped.

...


...


...


Is it over? (tears)

found,

Don't have any advice as you really are getting awesome advice already from the best MBer's here.

Just want you to know I feel your pain and you are in my prayers. Praying for your strength to get thru this and for you to be able to step back from this and think what is healthiest for you, your kids, and marriage. To quote Orchid, pray for a clear mind and a calm heart. Don't do anything if you are too emotional. I know this is all very shocking for you right now.

God Bless you and keep you at this time and at all times. Give this to the Lord and let Him carry you right now. And listen up to what these boys are trying to tell you.

((((hugs))))found.

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Nope, not satan, just more proof that there is a common Mothership. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Found - we need to discuss in more detail the WIDE range of responses you may have from OM's wife upon exposure. The range can span the entire spectrum of human emotion and rational control, or lack there of. Our suggestion you scheme with her to bust the infidels in person on the 18th may be totally beyond her ability. YOUR capability to do this, as Gimble suggested, may not currently be sufficient due to your understandable state of mind.

If OM and his wife are really gone for a week, this pause can be exactly what you need to get yourself together and come up with a plan that fits you. You have to make this determination. We can make suggestions, but we are not you. We'll help you logic through the choices, but YOU have to make the decisions, OK?

WAT

WOW! I have had a good last 14 hours or so. WW went to the store to buy clothes for the trip, and I let go of everything and played with my kids for hours. Did not stare at the ceiling too long (I sleep in bed with my son - thinking about moving up from the single to at least a double), and slept almost 8 hours, not waking at 3am to chat with Bob until I get the oldest up to send her to school.

I have discovered one important thing over the last year. REST is imperative. If I do not get sleep, I do not think well.

OK....... I am just now switching back on for the day.

OH! OOps! While shopping - did she leave her CAST LIST with all the pertinant numbers, addresses and such for me to photo and add to the "savemarriage" file? Ooops!

I do not think catching her at the Marriot with the other man is feasible unless I hire a PI to do it. Can not afford that. I don't particularly want it to get that far, but I am putting my feelings aside and listening very carefully to all of you great souls. I can tell you really care. PRAISE GOD!!!!

Miss M - thanks! I appreciate your words.

Wat - Mortar - GImble - Anyone--
What might she do? She is not very well funded unless Mr. Taster slides some cash her way. I do not know yet if he will be in the picture after exposure. Probably not. I am willing to expose to anyone I need to for this. He might fear that.
My funding? I work for a church. Enough said.

We moved out to the west coast from Dallas, and left all of our support (accoutability) in Texas. (Yes, I watch the threads that talk about Texas - WW and I met at SWT)

The only real support we have is the 19yo girl that we "adopted". Actually, she is WWs best (only) friend. She watches the kids for us when work overlaps. VERY nice to have her around, however I think she took away my opportunity to have more quality time with WW.

WWs birthday is Sunday. The big 40.

Mr. Taster WHO coined that? Mortar?? Was that you?

As bitter as this all is, the humor you guys add to the posts is incredibly important. Thank you!

OK. rambling.

[i]send

Yeah - that was Mortar. Honest!

WAT