StrongFoundation,

I'm emptying the health store tomorrow, I tell you.

I'm managed this far without ADs, I hope I can continue.

Alph.

Wait a minute!!!!

The Headmaster is going to talk to them????????

The same Headmaster who wouldn't act initially? The same Headmaster who wanted to keep it all under wraps?????

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Who's going to deal with the Headmaster???

What further reply did the Commission guy promise you? Is he going to report back what steps are being taken? - including those regarding the Headmaster?

I think a parallel visit by you to the school Chaplain/Priest is necessary right away. May as well expose all at once in the school community.

WAT

It's the procedure, WAT.

The guy I talked to is aware that the head didn't do anything. He is also aware that the Chairman of the Board of Governors has been informed by letter.

Both have to officially speak to WH and OW if the matter is to proceed.

I will be speaking to the Chaplain again, I guess.

The Commission guy said that he couldn't report back because the matter was now confidential. He did say that I was welcome to call him if i wanted an update.

I'm not interested in exposing/destroying everyone who appears to be a hypocrite. I just want to expose the A. I am doing that.

Alph.

I certainly am not interested in seeing anyone "destroyed." My recommendations have been based on preventing similar problems for others. Who knows? - perhaps the Head's hesitancy was due to his own school affair?

The "confidential" claim sounds odd. Usually an allegation of wrongdoing has a built-in mechanism to feed back to the alleger.

[Cynicism ON] > Hmmmmm, confidentiality (secrecy) regarding an affair. How appropriate. [Cynicism OFF]

WAT

Good <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Like Bob said don't feel bad if you do need ADs....I went to my doctor trying to get them but instead he prescribed counselling. So I grabbed the Kalms and they worked (after trying everything else prior to that which is why I went to the doctors and said "I need help"). As soon as the natural stuff doesn't work I'll be back to the doctors for ADs. I've not taken Kalms for quite a while....although I considered them for my bike theory test!!!

Dear Alphin, you are in a shocking situation and it may catch up with you....you are already feeling ill so please look after yourself....number one priority then the girls then Plan A target (WH).

Just concerned for you...I keep reading you feel ill and while that's probably par for the course it's not good long term.

Alphin,

I think I know at least some of the stress you are under. Exposure isn’t the entire cause, though. It just adds to it.

Exposure is a little like surgery. As they wheel you into the operating room suddenly whatever the medical problem is it doesn’t seem so important. I wanted to get up off the gurney and just go home and live with it. LOL.

During the worst times in the months after both D-Days I thought I was going to die. I passed out twice while just walking between rooms at home. Soft carpet, luckily.

The anxiety attacks were debilitating at times.

You are doing great. IMO you are well on your way to be right up there with Bob as a good example of doing what is right even when so, so hard.

With prayers

WAT,

“Again, there seems to be no value to have standards with a higher pedigree than a firm, personal foundation if you can discard them at any time. My personal moral standards are clearly better than those pedigreed ones of these hypocrites. Period. No contest. No rebuttal possible. And I am not alone...”


Kind of a DJ. Well, really a DJ.

You don’t really know what any of these people are thinking. You are jumping to conclusions with incomplete and second-hand information. Definition of a DJ.

There are many people in all walks of life that put themselves or their goals, ahead of immediate ethical considerations. This has more to do with ethics than morals. This does not necessarily make them hypocrites.

People like you and I and Alphin are here to tell them, actually to demonstrate to them, when they might wander off the path.

These people are Catholic educators. That does not instantly turn them into Saints.

I detect a strong ethical bias in you. I also detect a lot of bitterness (not the same as cynicism.) Strong ethics and bitterness often exist together. Some of the more bitter people are the most ethical. Seeing all the wrongness in people, and life in general, that does not need to be there must be very disheartening, I think.

With prayers for you.

Aphelion,

Thanks again for your kind thoughts and prayers.

The experience is a little like being a drug addict, I think. I do something really frightening and stressful, like big exposure, and my body produces an overdose of adrenalin. It makes me 'high' and jittery and nervy for a time, but after a few hours it passes, and I hit the bottom.

I do feel a little paranoid now - but I just can't believe that a person in the School Commission would lie and fob me off when I put in a serious complaint. He sounded genuinely like he was on my side, and explained the entire procedure to me very carefully, outlining all the possible outcomes. He also said that I was free to call him if I wanted, but that he couldn't call me.

Ah, well - if all else fails, there's always the newspapers. And I'm not joking either.

Alph.

StrongFoundation,

I did not mean to worry you. Exposure does make me feel ill, but the feeling passes. No dry retching for two days here (poor b0b!!!). But I am a naturally timid sort of person and exposure really goes against the grain.

I will be OK. I know I do need to do something to stabilise my moods, though. Thanks for your help and suggestions. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Alph.

Pot, meet kettle.

Judgement, for sure. Disrespectful? Not relevant in this context. Seems pretty warranted.

The fact as reported by Alphin, which is of course second hand, but which I am accepting on face value as most other facts are accepted on this forum, is that the Headmaster of the Catholic school wanted to sweep unbder the rug the fact that two teachers were engaged in adultery. How this is not hypocritical but rather involves "ethics" is not comprehensible to me.

I'll assume you probably have not observed the continuous "exchange" on this forum involving moral standards. Some argue that having a moral standard not tied to a divine source is therefore lesser and unreliable and prone to change on a whim > thus hardly a standard at all. Of course, this can be a freely held opinion, but some here don't seem to see that it makes no difference in having one of the "pedigreed" standards when they don't seem to be revered. i.e., there's no difference in the result if one can change their standards on a whim vs. discarding unchangeable ones.

I merely take the opportunity when available - and it frequently is - to point this out because I get criticized whenever I claim that my personal, non-divine standards are just as good.

I'm not suggesting that "Catholic Educators" or anybody else should be expected to be perfect. But because they obviously espouse to be "Catholic" and thus overtly espouse to uphold Catholic ideals, that when they don't - especially at the most basic levels - that that is grossly hypocritical. Do as I say, not as I do. Having the authoritative standards didn't do any good in this case. Why claim to be "Catholic"? That's all.

Yes, I have some bitterness. That's a problem I have to deal with. If you knew my story and I wasn't bitter, you'd probably be surprised.

I'll not discuss this further on Alph's thread.

WAT

WAT,

Take it outside?

Do a search on WAT Aphelion.

Read his story. It'll take your breath away.

Then realize he is still here, a PERSONAL SUCCESS story and trying to help others...not only rebuild their marriages but to regain their personal dignity & pride and a hope for a brighter future .

He's one in a million!!

Love Ya WAT!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

WAT, IMO you always interpret my points wrong - or I present them wrong. I never mean to say that religious morals are better than secular ones. just that they have an externally agreed benchmark which Alph can use to hit them over the head with.

A secular person can only be a hypocite with his/her own mores. A religious person can be hyprocritical for loads more reasons ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

From Merriam Webster on line:

Hypocrisy: from Greek hypokrisis act of playing a part on the stage, from hypokrinesthai to answer, act on the stage, from hypo- + krinein to decide.

1: a feigning to be what one is not or to believe what one does not; especially: the false assumption of an appearance of virtue or religion.

2: an act or instance of hypocrisy.

Also of interest (very, actually): http://www.hardcoretruth.com/Hypocrisy/ (The Psychology of Hypocrisy).

Aphin’s school admin may appear to have some hypocritical religious tendencies, via the evidence of them not taking immediate and strong actions that will satisfy us MBers (I include myself). But, IMO the jury is still out. We do not know what they think nor what they are doing nor what they are not doing. Not yet anyway.

Personally, I think the headmaster heard a pack of palatable and rational sounding lies from WH/omelet and went on about his business fat, dumb and happy. Hypocrisy? More like stupidity, complacency and laziness.

If in the end they act like they do not care about the A they are being untrue to at least the stated beliefs of the organization they work for, if not their own.

They might fairly be labeled hypocrites then. And I would like Alphin to send me their address so I may tell them so myself. I’d like to tell them how to avoid my ire right now, in the first pace. But that is Alphin’s decision.

WAT you give very good advice around here. I don’t think I give much good advice. I just sort of make comparisons to my situation, or recall things that happened to me. Empathy can sometimes help a little. It helps me. So you do much more good here than I do.

When you imply that someone who believes in God or professes to have a moral code but is not yet perfect is a hypocrite, I feel a need to defend myself since I profess these things and I am not yet perfect.

I think you are mistaken, but you are definitely not a hypocrite.

I’m just not very good at explaining. Sorry.

I did not mean to imply that perfection is the criteria to avoid the hypocrit label. If this is the way it came across, it was not intended.

For the record, I believe in God, just probably not the same one most others do.

Yes, we'll see about the Headmaster, I hope. I was indeed making some assumptions about what he was thinking, but this was based on what Alph described and it's possible that facts have been unintentionally skewed along the way. But they're pretty clear to me. If you haven't already, read Alph's earlier posts on this thread and it certainly sounds like he knows exactly what he's doing: Alph's H told Alph the Headmaster knew all about the affair and was OK with it. Several of us responded that Alph shouldn't believe this and talk to the Head herself. She subsequently reported that what her H said was pretty much what the Head said. So, yes, it may turn out different. I sincerely hope someone miscommunicated along the way, but I'm not counting on it.

Don't sell yourself short in the advice area.

WAT

b0b, WAT and Aphelion,

I appreciate and value the (occasionally contrasting) advice you give to me. Don't know what I'd have done without you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Looking forward to your continuing support!

Alph.

Alph

We all believe in MB 'cos we've seen it work. But we also have life stuff we bring to the table too.

WAT wa sbetrayed dredfully by two members of teh church , his W and OM. Its no wonder he has no time for religion.

I was betrayed by people in the sport of Karate. I hav eno good words about that occupation now.

Aph is a practicing Catholic and certainly meets other catholics on a daily basis of the highest moral fortitude.

But note - the MB advice is pretty much unvarying from us.

These discussions break out occasionally when folks' sensitive spots are jabbed deliberately or by accident but apart from a bit of a threadjack, theres never any harm done.

WAT and I have had our share of theosophical debates yet I will always defer to his interpretation of MB in a given sit.

Remember I may now be divorced or dead had WAT and MelodyLane kicked my [censored] into exposing, like we did with you ( but worse- cos I was chicken and you were brave!).

Smile and watch the occasional fireworks ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Great here innit ?

Vive la difference!

I like fireworks, too. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Alph.

No action today, Alph? Is the school in session? Is there a summer recess?

After today, I'll be traveling until July 10 and I won't be able to check in on you. But you're in good hands with all the others.

WAT

Alph and all,
I have been reading these posts with much interest. I am a Catholic - albeit a non-practicing one as of now. I just don't want you to put much faith in this religion to make things right. I may be a little bitter about it and I hope I'm not threadjacking here but after a 26 year marriage and 3 children - after infidelity on my ex's part -they are granting him an annulment???

My children and I always attended church - never my ex - he couldn't be bothered until he left me for ow who goes every Sunday. Now he is so religous you know - won't miss church - even wears a gold cross around his neck. I just can't make myself go anymore - any church that feels they have the right to say a marriage wasn't valid and even after me telling them my side of the story as to why the marriage ended - none of the grounds for the annulment were infedelity - everything but. How much more hypocritical can a church get?

Again sorry if this is threadjacking - just wanted to make sure you knew that you might not get too much help from the church.

HF