Grey,

Not exactly the way you descibe it. I have heard of a WS that moved home, dumped the other person, gone to complete no contact with the OP and ended up saving their marriage. That is what I did. That is my wish for Move. I think if she does eliminate the OM and move home there is a chance to save the marriage. I don't think there is a chance if she stays separated and continues to interact with the OM. And it certainly isn't alright to be married and have a boyfiend.

Yes as BS it is *ALL* about the OP.

As a BS when your WS starts saying this like that which make no sense you wonder WTF they've been smoking. So you honestly believe you would have acted the same way if there wasn't a OP? I'm sure your BS would say different.

You cannot have three in a marriage. One has to go. Statistics say you'll have the best chance with you H. Cheating and lying is no basis for a relationship.

Admit things for what they are and try to save your marriage. That means no contact with OM, period.

Miker

MTB,
It’s wonderful that people around here are taking a kind gentle approach, trying to reason with you and deal with your foggy babble in rational and logical manner. And since you’re getting the kid glove, fuzzy and warm treatment from them, I guess that it falls to me to accept my role as the “heavy.” So here it is.

If you had one foot out the door when you met Peter Pan, what prevented you from stepping the other foot out and going on you merry way? Could it be that doing so might have been just too honest?

If I wanted to take the warm fuzzy approach, maybe I would lie to myself and make dumb excuses for you like your poor BH is doing…but I won’t do that. You’re still hanging in with your H and ya know why? Because your husband is stable, caring, loving man…the one who has been trying to build a future for BOTH of you. You know the one…he’s the one that’s been showing you his love…SHOWING IT!….Not talking it….showing it!

He’s been showing it with his ambition and desire to build you both a life and a future together. He’s been showing it by showing you his trust and belief in you…and he’s still showing it by sticking by you and trying to make you see sense and by showing his willingness to forgive and to try to work this out.

But of course, you already have the solution, right. Peter Pan is more fun so the answer is easy! Cheat! No sense giving up the good stuff that your husband is still trying to provide. Heck! All you need to do is let old Peter show you the good times and let your H do what he does best! And you…you get to play the role of the confused young ingénue…torn with indecision and great moral regret! Loving one man but IN LOVE with the Other man! Boo whooo whooo! Fade to black and be right back…after this commercial from…Fast Fred’s Bed Sheet Motor Inn…

Sorry MTB but this ain’t no daytime TV drama. This is a man’s life. And what you’re about is just a shabby, selfish, little affair. This is just a case of an immature, dishonest woman wanting to have her cake and eat it too. And you aint even all that special. What you’re doing ain’t all the special. You’re just another sad little cliché in therapy with your H and still cheating with your boyfriend. And you want advice? LOL

Well here’s a flash. You don’t need advice! Your Husband needs advice…and tell us MTB, if your H was your brother or son or even adored 1st cousin what advice would you give him…what would you tell him to do about a wife like you?

Unapologetically,
Coach

MTB -

First of all, WELCOME TO MB! Please understand that you will continue to hear some very strong opinions and tough advice. And, given the audience who have suffered terribly through the pain, this is to be expected.

With that said, there are several FWS's here who (like me) can probably write your story and empathize with what you're going through. Don't worry, we won't judge you, and neither will we give up on you.

I strongly encourage you to read my thread. I think you'll find our stories to be eerily similar. You can do this by selecting my name from this post and select "show all user's posts" at the bottom right of the screen. Start from the my 1st post called "Desperately Seeking Answers". To give you some perspective, I initially posted it to the Divorced/Divorcing Forum! My posts will walk you through the turbulent/broken life that I had led as a WW for the past 1.5 years, the voluminous questions I had and were answered, how conflicted and tormented I've been, the right and wrong decisions I've made, and how I was able to pull through with the help of the amazing people on MB, my loving friends and family. It's possible that you may have to experience all of this pain and anguish yourself to come to your own conclusion, but I sincerely hope that perhaps my story will help lessen the pain for you and your BH.

Often, we as human beings just need to know that 1) we're not alone in the mistakes we make 2) there is always hope and we need to believe it and 3) there is salvation if we actively seek and pursue it.

BTW - I strongly suggest you also read Suzet's threads. She's helped me in ways I can't even begin to describe. Also, if you can reach Wiegee somehow, there's another life-saver who's shown me the way. Believe me - if I can be saved, there's hope for all!

Best wishes in your pursuit for TRUE happiness.

*COACH*

I just looooved your post....

2 thumbs up ^^

Pep<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Very true! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

MTB, take the above words and make it your own... Whisper knows what she's talking about because she has experienced it... You can do the same! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Suzet

Which place r u going to work with MB (or MB like) or gloryB (or GB like)?

Can't really help u much until we know your direction.

L.