Congrats furnitureman:

Sounds to me like teammate is interested. To what level - who knows - and don't worry about it. "Let it flow" - (Great ole 70's song!) It sounds like you're doing fine though. Perfectgirl is right - the "sweet-nothings" do work and most times mean more than the diamonds. (Note that I said "most times"!) And it's really all about the timing. My only input is to relax - and have fun. Things have a way of working out.

Good Luck

FR

Thanks for the "votes of confidence". They're much appreciated....

I'm still working to temper my enthusiasm about the whole thing. Don't want to get my hopes up. I've been on the wrong side of that equation a lot lately...

Besides, I haven't heard from her since she said she wanted to go... and that was Friday. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

We have practice tomorrow. I don't plan on bringing it up unless she does. I guess we'll see.

I really need to relax about the whole dating thing, as it's been eating at me a lot lately.

If you've ever seen "Tin Cup", I feel like I'm at the part at the end of the movie where he keeps hitting the water over and over. And he keeps hitting the shot over and over.

awww.... c'mon. She said she wanted to go, right? She just hasnt gotten back to you. Bring it up if you see her - "Didya check your schedule yet? Are you free Friday night?"

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

no?

I want to be cautious and not cross into "leg-humping" land.....

If she shows up.....(she's still injured), I'll try to find a way to bring it up with out appearing desperate.

And I know she's busy Friday night. We have a soccer game. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I do imagine that we'll go out as a team afterwards, however....

I give up.... I really, really do.

I haven't heard back from the teammate. And I imagine that I won't. At least in regards to this.

None of the girls on the team showed up for practice today. That's not a huge surprise as few of them rarely show up.

So us guys practiced/scrimmaged for a while, and we hung around and chatted for a while, after practice. We are always trying to find more girls to play. We met a girl at the restaraunt after practice last week, and our "leader guy" was supposed to email her to give her info on joining the team. He didn't.

So one of the guys on the team pipes up. "You should have let Ethan email her. He would have emailed her three days in a row!" Did I mention that this guy had also showed some interest in the same teammate? So there ya' go. Guess I got my answer.

Let me explain how the emails went. (Slightly paraphrased)
Me: Sorry you broke your foot. Hope it gets better soon.
Her: (A week later, and I didn't get the reply until after our game that night, and the team had gone out to dinner.) It's not that bad, I hurt it...blah blah. I heard you guys won the game I missed.
Me: (I replied the following day). Glad to see you showed up yesterday. Had a good time with the group, maybe WE can go to dinner sometime.
Her: (Next day) I'd like to go. I'll let you know.
Me: (Following day) Sounds like fun, happy you'll be back at full strength in a couple of weeks. Just let me know when you're free.

And that was it. She replied. I replied. What is so freakin' abnormal about that? And the fact that I have apparently become the butt of an f'n joke between her and this fata$$, not yet divorced with a kid on the way teammate. Thanks. I appreciate it.

More and more I feel like the kid that doesn't get picked for basketball in the schoolyard.

I'm becoming increasingly tired of having "so much to offer" and no one to offer it to.

Today sucked. Plain and simple.

Okay. So maybe you give up on this girl. But don't just give up. Whatever...she didn't deserve you anyway.


Boy, do I know how you feel! Just be patient and do your thing and with time everything will work out as they should.

So, right in line with everything else.....

She emails last night, after I complain about it here. She is off tonight and tomorrow. (Tomorrow for our game....)

I'm going to see some friends play an acoustic set in my hometown, so I invited her, told if she wants to go, I'd love to have her...

But I also offered concrete plans for next Friday, as I'd already purchased tickets to go see 12 Stones (who rock, incidentally). I told her when I would pick her up, where we can go eat, and how I can arrange for us to meet the band afterwards.

Concrete. Be there or be square, right?

I also told her to call me and let me know, so we didn't have to do the email thing anymore.

So, I guess we'll see, huh?

Ethan

hehe. You heard from her after complaining here? Too funny.

Believe me - I understand your frustration. Sounds very similar to my situation with the guy at work. Don't they know what they're missin out on???? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> We just have to be our best and show them, or move on. Someone is out there for us.

Keep us posted.

Yeah. That's actually the second time that's happened.

Am I correct in assuming that she wouldn't bring up days off, next week and the like if she wasn't interested, correct.

I'm thinking this is just a part of the "pursuit." If I'm being blown off, I must be missing the point.

Who knows.

Hi Ethan,

I've just been reading over here for awhile and read your thread.I just wanted to point out something I have noticed in the past several years that may apply here.Maybe not?

Anyway,being in the age of internet and other factors,it seems to me that just plain old decent etiquette has gone down the tubes.I am not in the dating scene yet but I do encounter,numerous times,just plain bad manners when it comes to communication, friendships and developing ones.Even in the professional workplace.If you call someone and ask a question,a person should call you back.Within at least 2 days max,not keep you hanging.Same with e-mails.And I don't know what is up with people who decide that just not e-mailing back at all is some kind of an answer.They obviously do not have the guts to just be honest but chicken out by not letting you know how they feel.Or you have to guess and wonder.Do these people ever consider that their actions might be hurting someone?

As an example,I invitied a local friend with 2 kids over to my home for dinner.She had been through the same thing I have with her XWH and when we met at a dinner party,we hit it off right away.I did think we would become good friends,there was every indication.So,after a schedule change due to my oldest's school concert,I tried to reschedule the dinner and left several messages.She never returned the calls.Now,this woman lives two houses down from me and I sat there wondering,for weeks,what happened.Now when we pass eachother on the street,she actually looks down at ther feet or at somehting on the car floor so as not to look at me or wave.At first I was very concerned.I thought,"What have I done to offend this woman"? Did she ever get my messages? I know she did but I kept asking myself,what did I do? Well,nothing.I was friendly and did nothing wrong.Whatever her problem is is just that,HER problem.So,I just accept it for what it is but it's sad becuase this happens more and more and I just find it difficult to find decent caring friends these days.I am sure I will encounter the same with dating one day.

Anyway,point is,you sound to me to be doing everything right and no one has the perfect know all book on dating or what "works".It's like post A days when you question whether or not you should have been doing A or not doing B,etc.Can't we all just be ourselves and liked for that? Who wants to jump through hoops or try to be something they are not? I just think the pool of people who aren't out for themselves or are caring and genuine is decreasing and harder to find.I can't say that I am too optimistic about dating either though like you I feel I have a lot to offer someone.I do have high standards though but will not accept just anyone to be dating.I do enjoy being on my own now and I don't need a man to be happy.It would be nice to enjoy another's company and even be "in love" again one day but I don't need it to survive and enjoy life.And as one Psychologist suggested: I want to *walk into Love,not fall into it,eyes wide open.

You're not alone Ethan.We are all struggling with things and you're not the only guy(person) who is caring and decent that is frustrated by other's actions,that's for sure.Let us know how the meeting goes next Friday.

O

Of course we're anxiously awaiting an update. Since she was off yesterday and today? SO did ya'll go out? Or will it be the concert next Friday?

I cant' tell about this chick - of course all we have to go on is your side of the story. It doesn't seem like she's blowing you off... but I am a bit frustrated by her lack of enthusiasm. She should be more responsible in responding to you - I mean - I know people are busy these days - but it's kinda like Octobergirl was saying - it's like people use "being busy" as an excuse to hide the truth. If she's not interested in you, she should be a complete ckicken and ignore you, or say she's not interested, instead of drawing you along with these e-mails. I mean.... she said she said she wasn't busy "today and tomorrow", like that gives ya'll a lot of time to plan something.... but maybe that's what her life is like... maybe she doesn't really know her schedule. My last BF was like that - DROVE ME crazy. We couldn't plan anything until the last minute.

It can be SO frustrating. It's like the guy at work. I had forgotten when his b'day was - but knew it was during the first few days of July. I tried to ask him about it, because I was about to be off for vacation, and just wanted to know the date, and so I could wish him Happy Birthday. (I was really hoping to be brave and suggest I take him out to celebrate his birthday.) He wouldn't tell me - it's his 40th - he was afraid I would plan something silly - to decorate his cubicle or something. Anyway. He wouldn't tell me. We joked back and forth. And then joked back and forth on e-mail. I finally gave up (got mad - didn't tell him I was mad)... and then he gave it to me as a puzzle in his reply - a code. I thought that was the NEATEST thing!!! I thought "wow! see? maybe he does like me!" anyway... it's sooooooo frustrating. Our usual thing is flirting a bit, then he stays away for a day or 2. Usually when I GIVE UP on him, he comes around flirting again. UGH.

Anyway... dating can be frustrating... but... I guess if we don't want to be alone the rest of our lives.... we can learn to ride the waves! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Hang in there! And give us an update!

An update?

Not much to mention, really. Never got a reply by phone or email. She didn't show up to our game yesterday. (I won't hold that against her. She does have a broken foot, although she's played on it once.) The team went out to eat and drink after the game, and she didn't join us there either. She did call one of her friends on the team while we were there, but I had already made post dinner plans, so I didn't inquire and try to go where she was.

I did, however, ask the friend for her phone number. And he gave it to me, so I'm going to give her a call. I've given her a concrete something to do this Friday, so hopefully we'll be able to go.

I'll do my best to be persistent, but in the most "gentlemanly" way....

We'll see.....

tfm,

just look at her as practicing your socialization skills, and your MB skills. . . intuitively, you practice with POJA, you ask her if she wants to go somewhere, and if she doesn't agree, that's fine, and don't hold it against her. . . and if she agrees but reluctantly, just mention to her that you don't want her going anywhere with you unless she is enthusiastic about the place (not you) she doesn't know you yet)

anyway, its one of your first practice sessions to put your MB knowledge and skills into action. . . and as a practice session, mistakes are ok, and you don't beat yourself up for them, just you need more practice. . . that's what dating is all about. . .

wiftty

So if you're just waiting and waiting for the update.

I called her. She was at work. She said she'd call back when she got off of work. Needless to say, I wasn't exactly holding my breath.

Well, she called me back, which I'll take as some sort of a positive sign. She immediately brought up my invitation for Friday. She said she had to work, and maybe she could get it switched, but she wouldn't count on it. She did say that if she couldn't get it switched, she could meet me at the venue that the concert is at. She gets off of work around 10:00 or 10:30 and the show doesn't start until 11:00....so, that might work, I guess.

She said the two days she had off this week were for soccer on Monday and Wednesday. She mentioned practice tomorrow, (although I'm 97% certain that our practice is on Wednesday this week, not tomorrow) and she was going to go, assuming we had it. I told her I would check with our "leader guy" about practice. So here's the question. Once I get it actually confirmed that we DON'T have practice tomorrow, do I call her and tell her? I could suggest that we get together tomorrow night, since she's actually off, and we don't have practice. It seems to be a great opportunity, but I don't want to seem too "over eager" and run the risk of chasing her off by pestering her.

Thoughts?

Don't worry about appearing "over eager". She didn't HAVE to tell you what days she had off - she gave you the opportunity, so run with it!

I think you could verify the practice schedule, then call her and let know (if it's not tonight - Monday), and say, hey, would you like to grab a bite to eat? or something like that... I'm glad ya'll have graduated to the phone <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I think there's a lot of room between "leg-humping", as you say, and being too quiet. As I've tried to describe from a woman's perspective, about the guy at work, and as lordslady just mentioned about Guy #2 on her dating thread, we like it when men are confident enough to let us know they're interested, and sorta lead the way in setting up the dates, etc. It's a very attractive quality (confidence, assertiveness, etc). If we're not interested, we say no, and everyone can move on. I believe if Guy #2 had stopped calling her, she could have done without him, let him go, forgot about him, etc. But he was persistant (without being annoying, drooling, stalking, or "leg-humping"), and there seems to be potential now!

Did exactly as faith1 describes above....

...and we go to dinner tonight. I'll be leaving shortly...

So there ya go. We'll see how it goes.

Ethan

Hope all went well! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

WNB

Things went reasonably well, I s'pose.....

I called her in the afternoon, to tell her that we didn't have practice yesterday. And since she was off... I told her that I'd like to go to dinner (and jokingly) said I wasn't taking no for an answer.....

She was going to work out with a friend, and said we could get together around 8, and she would call when she was done working out. She called after 8, she had just gotten back and she would call me when she was leaving to meet me at the restaraunt. We finally got there around 9ish. We had a good time together. It was a BBQ place, so it was kinda laid back.

We were there for about 45 minutes, and the employees were kind of ushering us out. (They closed at 10.) So we left, I asked if she wanted to go grab a drink, but she said she was going bowling with co-workers at 10:30.

Boooooo!!!!

Oh well. She did make sure to mention that she would see me Wednesday, and that she was going to the concert with me Friday. That, coupled with the fact that I put her on the spot with minimal notice, and she still carved out some time to grab a bite with me, I'll take as positives. I'm sure the team will go out to eat on Wednesday after practice, and I've got Friday night to look forward to.

So all in all, I'll chalk it up as a success. I would have liked to have had more time, to talk to her/get to know her, because that ain't gonna happen Friday.

"WHAT?"

"I DIDN'T HEAR WHAT YOU SAID..."

"OH. WHAT?"

But she's going, and that works for me.....

Ethan

woo-hoo! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Congrats on last night!!!